‘Thanks for coming over to meet us,’ Gemma said. She was wearing a bright red dress, and her hair was expensively highlighted. By her side, Eliot looked far more conventional, a pale grey shirt, his dark hair clipped short, with sideburns. He might have been Ollie’s best friend, but they were from different worlds – Ollie’s the Mac-tapping world of flat whites and sofas, as he wrote screenplays, Eliot the early mornings of life as a trader.
‘You too. Take a seat. What can I get you to drink?’
‘A coffee, please,’ Eliot said.
‘Same for me,’ Gemma said.
‘So – a few formalities to get out of the way first,’ I said. ‘I hope you are OK with the paperwork and pricing structure I sent over?’
‘Oh yes, fine,’ Gemma said breezily. ‘No probs at all. I’ll transfer you the deposit this morning and put the signed copies in the post.’
‘Thank you,’ I said. Relief swept through me. ‘Now, to the interesting bit. I remember that when we spoke, you hadn’t quite made your mind up about when you were getting married. Have you reached a decision on that yet?’
‘ We have. Finally,’ Eliot said. ‘The thing is, it’s—’ He glanced at Gemma and smiled, then looked back at me. ‘It’s going to be soon.’
‘This Christmas,’ Gemma said. ‘And we want it to be big, glitzy and sparkly. No holds barred.’
‘We’re not doing that badly, actually, Hazel. We’ve already got a few venues in mind – this is our ideal one.’
Eliot swiped his iPad then passed it to me with the image of a stunning castle taking up most of the screen.
‘Mackleford Castle,’ Gemma said, proudly. ‘Classic, traditional – everything I want this wedding to be. God, I’m all about this place. Look at it, Hazel. It’s gorgeous. So romantic. Hidden away up in the Highlands – don’t you think it’s perfect?’
‘I’ve heard of it,’ I said, casting my eye over the images. I remembered making a few phone calls, scouting it out on behalf of the locations department – in the end we’d judged it beautiful but too expensive, and too remote. It was located up in the Scottish Highlands and wasn’t an easy place to reach. ‘It’s lovely.’
‘My parents would like it,’ Eliot said, taking another look.
‘That matters,’ Gemma said, in a tone that was only half-playful. ‘You don’t think it’s too expensive, though?’ she looked at Eliot.
‘I’ll be getting a bonus soon. That’ll cover it. Don’t worry, Gemma – I want to do this.’
‘You know I’m not bothered about money,’ Gemma said, softly. ‘I mean that.’
‘I want to pay for somewhere perfect for us to get married,’ he insisted. ‘Let me do that much.’
Gemma gave a resigned nod and a smile.
‘OK,’ I said. ‘Well, it sounds like you’ve set your heart on the place. Let’s see what we can do.’
Chapter 16
That evening, Amber and I ate our dinner together at the flat. I told her about the meeting with Gemma and Eliot, and my plans for their wedding.
‘I seem to have encountered my first setback,’ I explained. ‘So they already have a very specific venue in mind – and it has to be at Christmas-time. But unfortunately when I called the castle up they’re already fully booked – which I’d half expected.’
‘Oh no,’ Amber said, furrowing her brow.
‘That’s what I thought, at first,’ I said. I brought my iPad up to show her a new image. ‘But look at this baby.’
‘Castle Belvedere,’ Amber read. ‘Nestled in the wilds of the Scottish Highlands – an exclusive and unforgettable experience. Wow. That looks incredible.’
‘Doesn’t it?’ I said proudly. ‘I knew I’d struck gold, and I called them up right away to discuss availability – thankfully, perhaps because they are just a little bit remote – they still have a weekend wedding space available before Christmas.’
‘That’s great news. In another world I’d get married there,’ Amber said, dreamily. ‘Not that I have anyone to marry right now – but for the sake of a damn good party.’
‘The budget they’ve given me is really generous. I was hoping I might have a bit more cash to work with than I did for Lila and Ollie’s wedding – but this is something else. I guess it’s just not an issue for them.’
‘Can you imagine what that would be like,’ Amber said.
‘Nope.’ I shook my head. ‘And I don’t expect it to ever be my life – which is what makes all of this such a treat. It’s like someone sending you out with their credit card, and telling you to fulfil your wildest dreams. And to commission the best wedding cake baker you know,’ I said, with a smile.
Amber narrowed her eyes at me in suspicion. ‘Don’t tease,’ she said.
‘I’m not!’ I laughed. ‘I mean no guarantees – Gemma and Eliot will get the final call, but once they’ve tasted the cakes you make I can’t imagine there’s going to be much of a contest.’
‘Oh God. That would be amazing,’ Amber said, her usually loud voice barely more than a breath. ‘You’re serious, right?’
‘Of course I am.’
‘A Christmas wedding,’ she said. ‘All those delicious spices, ginger, cinnamon, some of my favourite flavours. I can think of one recipe already.’
My phone rang, and a little reluctantly, as I was enjoying the conversation, I got to my feet to answer it.
I checked the screen: Sam.
My heart thudded in my chest when I saw the name. I don’t know what I’d expected to happen after we met up again at Lila’s wedding, but this had caught me off guard. We were talking again. At the very least.
‘I’d better get this,’ I said to Amber, excusing myself. I hadn’t told her the backstory. As far as she knew, Sam was simply an old friend, nothing more, nothing less. And in a way, that was all that he was.
‘Hey, Sam,’ I said, nipping into my bedroom quickly and answering the phone as breezily as I could.
‘Hi Hazel,’ he replied. That laidback, sleepy voice I’d heard so many times, long evenings hanging out at my house or his, days in the park, skating and drinking cheap cider. Then one day that voice had shifted from simply being part of the soundscape of my life to being the sound of everything I wanted.
I settled on the sofa to talk to him. I could hear Amber clattering around, tidying up the dishes after dinner, and was glad that she wouldn’t be able to overhear us talking.
‘It was good to see you at the wedding,’ he said.
I opened my mouth to reply, but no sound came. It had been good. Better than anything. He carried on talking.
‘We shouldn’t leave it so long next time.’
‘You’re right,’ I said, thankful that my voice seemed to be in working order again.
‘In fact that’s why I’m calling,’ Sam continued. ‘I know things got kind of weird . . .’
I held my breath, and silently prayed he’d stop there. I didn’t want to talk through all of this, least of all on the phone – the humiliation still felt fresh.
‘Anyway, it’s simple,’ he continued, seemingly thinking better of having the conversation too. ‘I don’t want to wait another six months before we see each other again, Hazel. I’ve been meaning to come and see you in London for ages, I’ve just never quite got around to it. But why don’t we make it happen? Next weekend?’
I thought of the things I’d pencilled in to my calendar – a swing dance class, a night at the cinema. They weren’t important. Not really. ‘Next weekend would be great.’
‘I can stay over, right?’ he asked.
‘Of course you can. Amber’s in the other room now, but there’s a sofa. We can go out for a pint locally on Saturday night, then head out to the market on Sunday morning.’
‘Sounds great. I’ll see you on Saturday in that case,’ he said brightly.
I said goodbye, and put down the phone. My heart was thudding hard.
The next day at work, I arrived to an overflowing in-tray. Emma must’ve worked late
the previous night – and work for Emma tended to consist of shifting things from her own desk onto mine. I sipped my coffee and sifted through the documents, working out what was most pressing.
None of it bothered me – nothing was going to kill my buzz today. I had the bubble of a secret inside me. Two in fact. I was meeting my sister at lunchtime to hear all about her honeymoon – I’d got her text late last night:
‘We’re back! And I can’t wait to see you. Picnic in the park at 1?’
And then the other reason. The one I couldn’t stop thinking about. The fact that Sam and I were talking again. More than that – he was coming to visit.
‘Psst,’ I hissed at Josh. He glanced over at me and smiled. I nodded towards the kitchen, and he took out his headphones and came over to my desk.
‘Coffee?’
‘Yes. You’ve got five minutes, right?’
‘Nothing’s that urgent today,’ he said. ‘Or at least, no more than usual.’
In the kitchen I filled both our mugs, and leaned back against the kitchen counter.
‘What’s that smile on your face?’ Josh asked.
‘I had an interesting phonecall last night.’
‘Really. How quaint. Who even has phonecalls these days?’
I shrugged. ‘It is a bit retro, I guess.’
‘So who was it?’
‘A friend.’
‘Holding your cards close to your chest as ever, then, Hazel.’
‘Yes. For now at least. Anyway, how are you and Sarah doing?’
‘We’re all right. On the rare occasions we’re actually together, that is.’
‘Where is she now?’
‘Spain. Up a mountain somewhere.’
‘Any reason?’
‘Sarah doesn’t need a reason.’ There was a slight weariness in his voice when he spoke about her – one I hadn’t heard before.
‘You OK with that?’
‘I have to be OK with it, Haze. I don’t want to feel like I’m trapping her. It’s just – it’s difficult sometimes. We were meant to be seeing my sister’s new baby this weekend . . . I know Sarah’s not that into babies, but this is family and . . .’
‘And she just went on holiday without warning you?’
I hadn’t meant it to sound so judgmental, but it came out that way.
‘It’s what she does.’ His tone was a little defensive.
‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.’
‘Don’t worry. You’re not the first. She says she doesn’t want to be tied down,’ Josh said. ‘But then every so often, after she’s had a few drinks . . . she does say maybe more security would help.’
‘Right,’ I said. ‘I don’t think I really understand where she’s coming from.’ Maybe I’d be able to, if Josh was a commitmentphobe, but he’d never struck me as one. ‘It all sounds a bit confusing.’
‘It is,’ Josh said, simply. ‘It is. And after all this time together, I haven’t come any closer to working out how to handle it. I just wait for the phase to pass, and it usually does.’
I left the office at one, and headed straight over to the green to see Lila. Her rehearsals at Sadler’s Wells – which she’d gone straight back into on returning from her honeymoon – were only a short walk away.
I couldn’t wait to see her, and to hear how the honeymoon had gone. Not that I wanted ALL the details . . . but it was unusual for us to have a week like this, where no information was shared, where we were in the dark about one another’s lives, and I wanted to rectify that.
Last night I’d packed a hamper with sandwiches, grapes and sausage rolls, Bakewell tarts and ginger ale and brought it into work with me. I crossed the green, my iPod earphones in and a soundtrack of rare groove bringing out the golden summery highlights in the late August day. We would fend off autumn for as long as we could.
I laid out a rug under the willow tree that had become our regular place since she moved out and we had begun to need one. A moment later I saw her approaching through the grass, denim dungarees and a white t-shirt on, her long blonde hair in a loose side plait. We hugged hello. I pressed my cheek against hers, wanting to feel, for certain, that she was really her, that she was really back.
‘You’re doing that thing,’ she whispered.
‘I am not.’
‘You’re squeezing my face with your face.’ She pulled away and wrinkled her nose, then smiled.
‘I missed you, that’s all.’
‘I missed you too. Probably not as much, but a bit.’ She laughed, and so did I. Because it was true. And because that was OK.
‘How was it?’
‘Incredible,’ Lila said, dreamily. She sat back on the rug, and picked off a grape. ‘ We had a lovely hotel, and spent most of our time there, or schmoozing around art galleries. It was so nice to spend time together without work to think of, and with all of the memories of the wedding still so fresh in our minds. I think it’s all I talked about for the first couple of days, at least.’
‘Sounds lovely,’ I said. There was a pretty glow in her cheeks, and her eyes were bright again.
‘Thanks again for everything you did on the wedding. It was amazing. The most perfect day ever.’
‘Good,’ I said. ‘I’m happy to hear you thought that.’
‘And I gather you’ve got more wedding planning to come?’
‘Yes,’ I said, eager to share the news with her. ‘I met with Eliot and Gemma and we talked through their initial ideas for the wedding.’
‘Don’t tell me – big, lavish, decadent, loud?’
I laughed. ‘Yes. And sparkly. Very sparkly.’
‘Ooh, nice. I love the idea of a winter wedding.’
‘Yes – it’ll be completely different from yours, obviously, which will be interesting.’
‘Not to mention those two will have quadruple the budget, I’m sure.’ She caught herself. ‘Not that I’m envious – honest,’ she smiled. ‘Just stating facts – both Eliot and Gemma are total hotshots in the city, in case they were too modest to mention that.’
‘They didn’t spell it out, but I got the impression that money wasn’t really an object.’
‘Brilliant news for you, of course. You’ll be able to do whatever you want. Castles, snow machines, the works!’
‘Yes. I’m looking forward to it.’
The previous night I’d started work on a set modelled on a room at Castle Belvedere, with snow-dusted decorative branches and fairy lights giving the venue a wintery, but cosy, feel.
‘So – what else is new?’ Lila asked.
‘I got a call last night.’
‘Sam,’ Lila said, a mischievous grin forming.
I nodded.
‘I thought something was going on when you guys were talking at the wedding.’
I shrugged, feeling embarrassed now, sure that I was making a big deal out of something that would most likely turn out to be nothing.
‘He’s finally figured it out. I knew it!’
‘It’s not like that. I’m just hoping we can get back to how things were. He’s coming to stay this weekend – as a friend, of course.’
‘Of course,’ Lila said, unconvinced.
‘I thought there was a connection at the wedding, when we spoke again. Perhaps this is what we needed, a bit of time and space apart.’
‘Maybe he had a bit of growing up to do,’ Lila said. ‘It’s the only excuse, surely, for not being able to see that he should be with you.’
I gave her a nudge. ‘Don’t. And anyway, stop playing the sage. You’ve only been married five minutes, you know.’
‘Oh God. Am I acting like a know-it-all? I didn’t mean to . . . you know I haven’t got the first clue about love, apart from knowing that I didn’t want to let Ollie go. But you and Sam – any fool can see you two should be together.’
I shook my head. I wasn’t sure I was ready to go there again, even in my mind.
‘Enough about me. How about you?’ I asked. ‘Are you feeling OK
about everything, I mean what we talked about before the wedding?’
Lila nodded, and I could tell she was steeling herself. ‘I’m not going to bury my head in the sand about it. I’ve been to see my GP. She said we should just try as normal, but she can refer me to a specialist if I want. Ollie’s going to come with me.’
‘That’s good,’ I said. ‘I hope it goes well.’
She smiled, and gave a resigned little shrug. ‘What will be will be, I guess. But Ollie and I are happy together, and that’s what matters.’
Chapter 17
I rearranged the photos on my dresser, and tidied the cushions on my bed for the dozenth time – putting the one with the fox design on top. My mind had been buzzing for the last couple of hours. Imagining what it would be like to see Sam again, properly, like this, and hoping that I would be able to hide my feelings somehow.
I checked the clock – 7 p.m. He was due any minute. I felt as if I was a teenager again, as if I’d learned nothing between then and now that would equip me for this . . . whatever it was – encounter.
Amber put her head around my bedroom door. ‘Still waiting?’
‘I’m not waiting,’ I said. ‘I’m just here, in my home, and my friend’s about to arrive. I’m not exactly going to go anywhere, am I?’
‘OK, touchy,’ Amber said.
She was right, I’d overreacted. I was blowing this whole thing way out of proportion already. ‘I’m sorry. What was it you wanted to say?’
‘I’ve thrown together some chilli con carne, and made a massive batch, so I just wondered if you guys wanted to join me.’
Perhaps Sam and I could go out after dinner, instead. ‘That would be great,’ I said.
The doorbell rang, and my heart jumped a little. I glanced over to the mirror and gave my appearance a final check, then headed downstairs.
‘Hey you,’ Sam said, as I answered the door. He leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. I hugged him and took in the familiar scent, coconut.
‘Come on in,’ I said.
He had a sports bag slung over his shoulder, and brought that up with him.
‘Do you fancy having dinner here first? I mean, I know you probably want to get out and see some of east London, but Amber’s cooked and . . .’
The Winter Wedding Page 10
