FORCE: Alpha Badboy MMA Romance

by Wyatt, Dani

  “What is it you want? What can I do to let you know, once and for all, you are as valuable as any other person in the world? More valuable because you’re mine, and I fucking love you.”

  There it was again, those three words — well, four if you were Cameron because ‘fuck’ was added to almost every sentence somewhere.

  “Look, do you see my eyes? Have you ever fucking seen me look at anyone — ANYONE — the way I look at you? I’ve had girls around you before, did I ever look like I gave a rat’s ball sac about any of them? No, because I didn’t. They were just time wasters. Stress reducers. That probably makes me a dick, but whatever. I never made any promises to any of them. Maybe I was just a horny fuck when I was younger —”

  Victoria’s eyebrows lurched up. “Younger?”

  “Anyway, yeah, I know you know me, Vic. You know me better than I know me sometimes. So, tell me, what is it that you want? What do you need to make you understand just how important you are in this world? Not just to me.”

  The waiter gave them both another finger of Chianti as Cameron caressed her hand inside his. Victoria felt her mind racing and wandering simultaneously, trying to work out some honest answer to his question.

  Once more, Cameron could feel her self-directed ambivalence. This was a girl with no problem facing down some smart-ass sweaty fighter who gave her any shit about paying his monthly dues at the club. She stood toe to toe with men that bowed to no one, who then turned tail and ran when she tore into them.

  He could see what a conflicted soul she was. Roger beat her down for so long; she struggled with the other side of her, this image of herself as damaged goods, unworthy of the real gifts that life reserved just for her.

  Victoria looked down at the table and thought intently about his question. Really thought about it instead of giving some flip answer in order to change the subject and move her back into the warm, comfortable waters of her safe zone.

  “You know what I want?” She raised her eyes, and her voice was steady and clear. “I want a father that teaches me how to ride a bike and gives me a dollar for every ‘A’ on my report card. I want a mother that doesn’t take shit from the men in her life and cheat and then run off and marry her husband’s business partner leaving a bunch of kids spinning in the dirt.”

  Cameron’s eyes focused, she rarely spoke of Emily, and never in the negative. He didn’t expected this kind of answer, but he could see she needed to let it out. Cameron swelled with pride that she was ready, and he was the receiver of her much-needed confession.

  He could hear a quiver in her voice, something like this had festered inside her for a long time, and she needed a safe place to lay it out.

  Victoria felt her heart pumping faster as the words came out. After a moment of halted thought, she felt it well up and spill over like a river breaking the banks after months of soaking rain.

  “I wanted a father that everyone knew if they messed with his little girl they would have to answer to him. A family that ate dinner together instead of a father that yelled every time he wanted a beer and whipped my behind if I took too long bringing it to him. I wanted to have friends over and learn to ride a horse. I know we all loved mom, she was kind and sweet, but she let everything happen. She never stood up to him. Instead, she looked over and thought the grass would be greener on the other side. Only, she didn’t bother to think about all of us, how we would feel being thrown together in all their craziness. She was as damaged as he was, and now, this is me. I’m trying, Cameron. I really am, but we both have this past —”

  The tears were nipping at her lower lids and Cameron felt his instinct to kill whatever or whoever hurt her.

  Victoria turned to look over at the table with the two women, her eyes straight and her head up.

  “So, you want to know what I want? I want someone that I can talk to, I can tell them anything and know they’ll be there for me. I want someone that will realize I’m broken, but I’m trying. I want someone that loves me and lets the world know how important I am to them. And, I want to be me, happy, without having to answer to my father or your father anymore. I love them both, Cam, I really do. But, they’re killing me.”

  “You want to leave the gym?”

  “No. I mean yes.” She shook her head, and her hair danced down into the swell of her chest giving Cameron a moment of distraction. “I don’t know. It’s such a part of me. Of us. I know I can’t live this life anymore, I can’t. But, I can’t bear to think of Southside going to Topher — or ceasing to exist because I’m not there to hold it together like some abused band-aid.“

  “I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen, one way or the other. You don’t need to worry about that.”

  “Oh yeah? I don’t need to worry? I know you, too — you have one way of solving problems, Cameron. And it always leaves someone bleeding.”

  “You want someone that protects you, you know that’s me. That’s how I do it, babe. I’m not going to change. At least that part of me.”

  “I know. I get it, but it’s all part of that life and I just need to know you’re going to be around. That you won’t leave again, either by your own choice or when you hurt someone, and the cops show up and you’re gone for twenty years.”

  “No one is calling any fucking cops. And, I’m not going anywhere. I came back for you. I left because of you. But, I couldn’t die without laying my cards on the fucking table, balls out, heart on my sleeve shit. You’ll always be mine. You’ve always been mine, but I will disappear like a shadow at midnight if this isn’t going to work because I can’t be around you and not be with you. Do you get that? When have you ever known me to not go after what I want like a starving lion on the damn hunt? I’ve kept this shit inside me for too long, so it’s zero dark fucking thirty — go time — and I’m here 100% for you unless you tell me or show me different.”

  Victoria drew her bottom lip between her teeth. If she only knew that was Cameron’s kryptonite. He looked at the way her fingers fit into his hand, and he knew he would lose his mother-fucking mind if she ever did leave him.

  Her lips were warm, blush pink, and shining with that lip gloss he gave her that tasted like cherries.

  He was finding it harder and harder to concentrate, but she needed this right now, she needed to get it out and Cameron needed her to know just what it meant when he staked his claim on her.

  Victoria could feel the heat rising from her core. Waves of warmth rippled up into her chest as her heart beat like a bass drum as she stared at the carved savage that was once her childhood protector, her friend, and her step-brother.

  “I’ve got nothing if you’re not part of it, babygirl. Do you get that?”

  He never thought about marriage before, but right now, for the first time in his 28 years, he wanted to put a ring on her finger and bind this woman to him by love and by law.

  “I get it. I do.” Victoria licked her lips.

  “Good, because you don’t want to see what would happen if you —” Cameron left it there, he didn’t even want to say it.

  If she ever left, if she ever betrayed him or broke his trust, he didn’t even want to imagine the shit storm that would ensue.

  Instead, he leaned over, took her mouth with his and made sure everyone, including the two skanks across the room, got a clear eye-full of his tongue opening her lips.

  “God.” Her cheeks turned to little red wine furnaces as she snapped her eyes back toward the two women who were now taking a long drink of ice water.

  “Now, tell me about your show. I want to know everything. You want someone that you can talk to, tell anything? That’s me. Right here.” He thumped his chest like a caveman. “So tell me. You said the opening is Friday after Thanksgiving. I’ve got that fight — remember don’t tell anyone — Wednesday, and you are NOT coming. Is that clear?”

  “You sure are good at giving the orders.” The twinkle was back in her eyes as her lips curved into a smile that only shoveled more coal onto the furnace that was b
urning below Cameron’s belt.

  Maybe she’s right. I think I have a damn medical condition. A constant hard on can be fucking inconvenient.

  “Yeah, get used to it. I seem to recall you’ve discovered taking orders is more fun that you previously thought.” He gave her hand a squeeze.

  “God — sometimes I still feel like this is a dream.” Her voice lowered to just above a whisper, her sweet, soft modesty only making it harder for Cameron to control the insatiable beast down below. “You and me, you know?? The stuff we do, dang. I thought only crazy people did that stuff.”

  The sound of her laugh was more precious than diamonds and platinum.

  “Yeah, I know. We’re those crazy people, babe. I’ve fucking known for a long time.”

  He kissed her again across the table, and he knew for the first time what it felt like to be that kid that grabbed the damn brass ring on the shitty carnival ride while everyone cheered. He finally had it all, and no fucking way would anyone take it from him.

  41

  Patience was not his virtue.

  And every day he dropped her at the gym and watched her disappear behind that green door surrounded by the crumbling brick, the only thing he could think of was how many hours he needed to wait until she was back in the fold.

  Greedy bastard. Yep, both of us ol’ boy, when it comes to this one, there’s never enough.

  Another morning and Cameron went through their checklist — much to her annoyance.

  “Cell phone? Charged?”

  “YES. YES. Honestly —”

  “What do you do if ANYTHING starts to go one mouse turd sideways? And, if you leave to go fucking anywhere, what do you do?”

  “Call you, text you, or get my ass in my car and back to your house. I do take the bank deposit today, is that okay??”

  He ignored her snarky tone.

  “Our house. And, yes, fine, go to the bank.”

  He found it unnecessary to talk about moving in together, Cameron didn’t need the grief. He just kept stopping by her place and grabbing stuff every day between training and picking her up at work.

  What he couldn’t fit in his car, he hired some guys to put in the back of their truck and cart it over. He paid off her landlord for the five months left on her lease and handed in her keys.

  Her furniture was shit, so Cameron didn’t care about most of that. She did have some things that belonged to her mom, so he made sure those were placed in prominent positions within the small flat that would be their first nest together.

  She pouted about him taking control of moving her ass without talking to her first, but he ignored it, she wasn’t staying in that upstairs rat hole any longer.

  Once he got his feet under him, Cameron knew he would find them a beautiful old farmhouse outside the city where she could have her horses, a photo studio, or whatever the hell else she wanted.

  Last night he took her through her paces. Fucking her fine as hell ass up against damn near every wall in the house and bent over every piece of furniture. When he rolled out of her and cradled into his chest, he asked her what kind of house she would want.

  “So, when we get our next place. What is your dream house? If you could live anywhere, where would it be?” Cameron’s fingers tucked her hair behind her ear and kissed her head.

  “I would have a big white farmhouse. Horses out back, maybe some chickens clucking and pecking around, and lots of space. I don’t want any neighbors as far as I can see. That’s stupid, right? A girl like me, city through and through, out in some countryside somewhere?”

  “No babe, it’s not even close to stupid. It’s perfect. You’re perfect.”

  Little did she know, he was already poking around and crunching numbers to see just how much he needed to get them out of here and into a real home.

  Now, today, they sat in the back parking lot with Victoria taking a deep breath as Cameron made sure she didn’t deflect the issue at hand.

  “You know they’ve both been really good lately. My dad actually grumbled something about what I good job I do around here.”

  “That’s nice. They’re still fucked, so rules are rules. It’s your ass I’m gonna tear into if you don’t keep your head straight. Got it? I’m not playing. It’s no fucking joke. You want to work there? Then you follow my fucking rules.”

  “You. Are. A. Caveman. And, don't smile, because that isn’t a compliment.”

  Victoria groaned, but she felt that tingle down below and shook her head at the juxtaposition of her mind and her body.

  On one hand, she wanted to punch him right in the bloody teeth (but, they were sexy teeth. Can teeth be sexy? On Cameron, everything was sexy.),

  On the other, when he dominated her, her body and mind submitted entirely to him, and she turned into some mewing bitch in heat.

  “Don’t forget it.” His hand shot out from the steering wheel like a viper around her neck, squeezing just enough to put a hitch in her next breath. “Come here, gimme a kiss then get your ass inside.”

  Her tummy flipped like a pancake in a hot skillet after his lips and tongue took their long moment on hers.

  “Maybe you should just drag me inside by my hair.”

  She took her final shot across the bow as she closed the door on the Camaro, gave him a wry self-satisfied grin and sashayed toward the door, leaving Cameron imagining all the things he would like to be doing to her wiggling ass right then.

  There was a skip in her step, and he felt the swell of his heart as she reached for the door handle.

  Putting the Camaro in first, Cameron eased up on the clutch and took one look back to be sure she was safely inside. Instead, there she stood with the door held by her foot, looking back at him. She mouthed those three words that up until today were left unspoken and he felt like a mortar just went off inside his head.

  Cameron couldn’t be sure what it felt like to walk into that white light people talk about that die then are lucky enough to come back. But seeing her tell him for the first time she loved him, he surely was as close to heaven as an earthbound soul could be.

  As he drove away, he could see them in his mind, ten years from now. Both of them still loving and fucking and yelling at a gaggle of kids that tugged on Daddy’s hands begging him to stop kissing Mommy and come outside and play. For the first time in his life, he saw the future and it wasn’t shit, it was golden and her face was at the center of it all.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Inside, Reggie noticed right away Cameron’s focus was hawk like and after two rounds with a sparring partner, the poor dude tapped and made some lame excuse about having to use the bathroom.

  “I think he shit himself with that last one.” Reggie slapped Cameron on the ass.

  “He’s a tourist,” Cameron said with a wink.

  “Well, he’s a well-tenderized tourist,” Reggie sighed.

  Cameron looked down at the mat, slick with drops of sweat as he swung his thick muscled arms back and forth across the width of his chest.

  “Good. He needed to be schooled up a bit.”

  “Yeah, well, I think he saw his life flash before his eyes on that last kick to the head. Dude, we’re sparring remember? That’s not fucking Jake or Topher in there. You’ve already gone through three other partners this week, I’m running out of guys for you to damage, so ease the fuck up a bit. We’re almost ten days out; you’ll peak too early. Just follow my fucking program alright? Ease up, damn, you’re like Tommy fucking Conlon today. Take a breath.”

  Cameron trusted Reggie as much as anyone else on the planet, and he did his best to hear the words and fill his lungs slowly with oxygen and slow his mind.

  “Now, listen to me. I know you’ve got shit on your mind, but this fight —” Reggie’s voice lowered, and he leaned in close. “This is your fucking shot man. There’s not a lot of confidence left in your future. Most everyone who’s anyone thinks you’re done; you’re too unpredictable. But, you’ve got your last shot with Simon. You’ve got to focus
. You’ve got to win this fucking fight, but you have to do it big. They want a star, Reed sees something in you, something he thinks can take you top of the card, UFC, bright lights, top billing man.”

  Cameron’s head spun and buzzed. Every way he looked at it, he hit a brick wall. He was inside some crazy maze and everywhere he turned it was a dead end.

  “I got it, man.” Cameron looked down at the mat as he shuffled his feet and twisted one fist into his open palm slurping on the blood red mouth guard he clenched between his front teeth.

  “Look at me.” Reggie’s dark eyes followed Cameron even as he tried to evade his knowing glare. “Don’t fuck this up, man. Your old man’s gonna have to deal with his own shit. This isn’t your problem. All you gotta do it focus on your fight and everything else will work itself out after. Got it? I’m not fucking kidding man, I’m your friend — and you ain’t got many left — and I’m telling you, this is your last damn chance. You fuck this up, you’re gonna be fighting in parking lots and bars for $250 a pop until you end up just like your old man. Simon is here because of you, but he’s also here because of me – and don’t tarnish my good name, okay?” Reggie flashed a quick gleaming smile and Cameron gave him a nod.

  “So, get out of here for today.”

  “But —” Cameron looked up at the clock. It was just past noon, Reggie usually pounded the crap out of him with weights, heavy bags, then sprints on the treadmill until at least 4:00.

  “Go. Tomorrow I’m going to kick your ass. Today, you need to figure out if you are in it to win it or not. Every few days you need a damn reset. I’ll always be here for you man, I will -- as your friend. But no one but you is going to know what you’re going to do until you get in that ring. I get it, I know you’re in the eye of the hurricane. Take the day, see you tomorrow.”

  Reggie left him with one hand crushing the fist inside, and his jaw cracking as his teeth made grinding noises, and the vein on his forehead stood up like a soldier ready for war.

  42