Return to Paradise

by Cameron, Barbara;

  “Who’s to say how long it should take to get over things? Besides, I don’t think any of us are in the mood to attend a wedding. We all thought we’d be married by this time, didn’t we?” Rose Anna said thoughtfully.

  “Three old maedels,” Mary Elizabeth chimed in glumly.

  Lavina rolled her eyes. “Oh please, don’t start that! We’re in our twenties!”

  Mary Elizabeth slumped back in her seat. “I feel like an old maedel.”

  “We just have to find different men,” Rose Anna said. “At least you and I do, Mary Elizabeth. David’s back for Lavina.”

  “I wouldn’t say that.”

  Two heads swiveled to look at her. “What?” they cried in unison.

  “Neither of you should expect I can just welcome him with open arms,” she told them with more tartness than she should have. “I don’t want to be hurt again.”

  “I thought you were happier after the two of you went out to supper?”

  She had been . . . and then the next day the same old doubts had crept back in. She sighed.

  “Maybe we could skip the wedding,” Rose Anna offered hopefully.

  They looked at each other and finally shook their heads. “We can’t do that,” Mary Elizabeth said before Lavina could. “We can’t miss Hannah’s wedding. It wouldn’t be fair to her.”

  So they continued riding to the wedding. The day was gray and overcast, matching Lavina’s mood. When they pulled into the driveway of Hannah’s home, she sat up straight and pasted a smile on her face. Amish weddings were daylong events. She just hoped she could get through it.

  And then she saw David talking with another man as they stood outside the barn with several others helping unhitch horses and lead them into the barn. Disconcerted, she stared at him. It was the first wedding he’d attended since a month before he’d left a year ago.

  “Oh my,” she heard Rose Anna say under her breath. “Look who’s here.”

  Mary Elizabeth glanced over her shoulder. “I wonder what this means?”

  “His friend Mark is marrying Hannah, remember?” She just hadn’t expected that he’d be here. She got out of the buggy as soon as it stopped and started unhitching the horse.

  “Guder mariye,” David said in his deep, rich voice. “Let me help you.”

  “I can manage.”

  “Don’t want to get that pretty dress dirty,” he told her easily, laying his big hand over hers on the bridle.

  His touch seemed to burn. She withdrew her hand quickly and stepped back. “Danki.”

  She watched him lead the horse into the barn and turned to her schweschders. “I think I’ll go inside.”

  Rose Anna held out the gaily wrapped present in her hands. “Here, you can take this in.”

  “Danki.” Lavina clutched the gift and hurried into the house.

  The bride’s home was warm and fragrant with the scents of the food that had been prepared for the wedding. Lavina went to take off her jacket. She found a seat in the section set aside for the women and waited for her schweschders to join her.

  “Beautiful day for a wedding,” said a familiar voice.

  Lavina turned. “Kate!” She’d forgotten that Kate might be here.

  “So I did some asking around,” she said in a low voice. “Guy came into a quilt shop just outside town, looking Amish, wanted to sell a quilt like the one that was stolen. Didn’t like leaving it on commission, but that’s the way the shop operates. I have his phone number.”

  Lavina’s eyes widened. “Really? What are you going to do now?”

  “I’m having the shop owner call him and tell him he sold it. He’ll have him come in the shop on Tuesday morning and I’ll be there.”

  “I don’t want him arrested.”

  “I know that.” She glanced up and smiled as Rose Anna and Mary Elizabeth took seats next to her. “Shop owner wasn’t surprised I came in to ask questions. Said he felt something was suspicious about the man.”

  “Why?”

  “The man wore Amish clothes but he had a mustache. That was a dead giveaway he wasn’t Amish.”

  Lavina saw David walk into the room and watched as he looked around. The minute he spotted her he smiled that slow, warm smile of his that stirred her inside. The voices, the movements of the people around them faded away as they stared at each other. What was it about this man that she couldn’t seem to pull herself away from?

  “So that’s the way it is,” Kate murmured.

  “Hmm? What?” Lavina pulled her attention from David. “Did you say something?”

  “Just noticed David Stoltzfus walked in,” Kate said, brushing a piece of lint from the skirt of her dress. “Haven’t seen him in quite a while. At least, not here in the community.”

  “He’s back for a while,” she told her, trying to sound neutral. “His father’s ill.”

  “I heard.”

  Lavina hated saying “for a while,” but it was better for her not to get her hopes up that he’d stay.

  As church members settled into their seats Lavina wondered what David’s attendance at the wedding really meant. Was he here merely to see his friend get married, or was he thinking of joining the church?

  No, she couldn’t think about him joining the church. That was just wishful thinking.

  Or was it? She sneaked a cautious look over now and then, and she saw David chatting with other men, seemingly at ease.

  Then there was a rustle of alertness in the assemblage and people turning. Hannah and Mark were walking together to the front of the room where the ministers stood.

  Hannah glowed in a dress the color of pale blue spring violets that brought out the color of her eyes. Mark looked solemn and just a little nervous, dressed in his Sunday best white shirt and somber black jacket and trousers.

  And the wedding began.

  The assemblage stood and sang, and when Lavina sneaked a glance she saw that David sang without looking at the words in the hymnal. He remembered, she thought, secretly pleased. Maybe church still meant something to him. Well, it always had, but he and the bishop had been at odds at times because David had gone to him in an effort to get him to intercede in the family discord, and it had backfired. The bishop had solidly aligned himself with David’s dat and caused more problems when Amos felt David shouldn’t have taken their problems to the bishop. She sighed.

  “You okay?” Kate whispered.

  Embarrassed that she’d made a sound, Lavina nodded quickly.

  The ceremony was long and quietly joyful. Hannah seemed to glow with happiness as she stood with Mark and was joined in matrimony. He gazed at her adoringly if a little shyly. Mark had always been a quiet, introverted boy at schul, and Hannah a little more outgoing.

  Passages from the Bible were read, one of the ministers spoke personally about marriage and its joys and sorrows and challenges, and then there was more singing. Lavina felt her spirits lift as the harmony of the familiar hymns filled the room.

  As the last hymn concluded and the last notes faded away, something made her glance over at David in the men’s section, and she caught him watching her. He smiled. She smiled back and then had to hide her chuckle when Marlon, a schul friend of theirs, grasped the hem of his jacket and tugged it to warn him it was time to sit.

  “Beautiful wedding,” Kate said after the ceremony concluded. She brushed away a tear and looked embarrassed. “I always cry at weddings.”

  “Ours must seem very different from Englisch weddings. I know Englisch weddings have flowers, music, fancy dresses.”

  Kate shrugged. “Sometimes people get so caught up in those things they forget what’s important. I loved the simplicity of the wedding today. Hannah and Mark look very happy.”

  Lavina glanced around, then leaned closer to whisper, “I bet your weddings aren’t as long.”

  “Well, I went to a Catholic wedding once that was almost as long as this one today.”

  “Are you staying for the reception? It’s even longer than the wedding.
There’ll be two meals served.”

  “I can only stay a little while. I have to work for a couple of hours.”

  “Let’s get my sisters and we’ll sit together.”

  “I’d love to.”

  Tables were loaded with food. Lavina was surprised they didn’t collapse under the weight. Baked chicken with roasht was a wedding staple, and here in Pennsylvania, creamed celery was a must. Weddings were scheduled after the harvest was in, so the tables at receptions reflected the bounty of it. Lavina filled her plate with mashed potatoes and gravy, sweet potatoes, butternut squash, green beans, and corn.

  “You don’t like chicken and roasht?” Kate asked as she helped herself to big portions of both.

  “By the time we get a few weeks into the wedding season, and we have it a couple of times a week, it gets a little old,” Lavina whispered. “Daed asks for shrimp for our holiday dinner.”

  “I never get tired of roasht,” Kate said. “I’ll be spending some extra time at the gym after today.”

  “Save room for dessert,” Rose Anna told her.

  Kate sighed. “I can’t. I really need to get to work.”

  Lavina stood. “Tell me what you want, and I’ll make a plate for you to take with you. The cake won’t be cut for a while but there are plenty of other things.”

  “I know. Too many!”

  “Maybe a small piece of everything?” Lavina said, grinning at her. She assembled a plate with apple pie and pumpkin bars, Fannie Zook’s famous fudge cookies, and homemade candy.

  Then, when she ran out of room she grabbed a second plate and filled it. It seemed only fair that Kate’s mann should have some treats since he hadn’t been able to attend. She felt someone staring at her and when she looked up, saw that David was watching her from the other side of the room.

  “I don’t know if I can carry all this to the car,” Kate pretended to complain when she returned to their table.

  “I’ll carry one of the plates out to your car,” Lavina told her. “I could use some fresh air.”

  “I’ll be the envy of every cop in the station,” Kate said when they put the plates in the back seat of her car. “I’d better put the plate for Malcolm in the trunk, or someone will see it and try to guilt me into giving them some.” She turned to Lavina. “Thank you for all the goodies. I hope no one minded your being so generous.”

  “We love to feed people. You know that.”

  Kate studied her. “Weddings are still hard, aren’t they?” she asked as she pulled on her jacket. Her eyes were kind.

  “Do you know everything about everybody?” Lavina asked her, trying to keep her tone light.

  “I know what happened to you last year. I’m sorry.” She started to say something and then seemed to change her mind.

  “I don’t know if I’ll get back together with him,” Lavina told her. She didn’t mind telling her because she hadn’t pried as some had. “He hurt me, and I’m afraid to trust.”

  Kate touched her hand. “Trust your heart. You’ll know what to do.”

  Lavina nodded. “Thank you.”

  They walked to Kate’s car. Kate put the bag with the food on the front seat and turned to thank her again. “I hope you have a good time.”

  “I will.”

  She watched the car drive away and then turned to go back into the house.

  And saw David standing on the porch watching her.

  14

  David watched Lavina leave the house with Kate. He wondered if she was getting a ride home.

  He hoped not. He wanted a chance to talk to her, maybe see if she’d go for a ride with him after the wedding.

  But as he stood on the porch he was relieved to see that she didn’t leave with Kate. He waited, studying her face as she climbed the porch steps. “So your guard went home?”

  “Guard?”

  “Kate sat with you all through the meal.”

  “She wasn’t guarding me. She’s a friend of mine and Hannah’s.”

  “I was joking.”

  “Oh.”

  She seemed subdued. He’d noticed a forced gaiety as she sat with Kate and her schweschders. And while she pushed the food around on her plate, he hadn’t seen her eat much. “Lavina, are you allrecht?”

  “Ya. Schur. Why?”

  He stared at his shoes, then looked up at her. “I wondered if it was hard for you to attend the wedding since—” he broke off.

  “Since you left when I thought we were getting married?”

  He winced. “Ya.”

  “It was harder last year.” Then she closed her eyes and shook her head. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to sound bitter.”

  David shrugged. “I don’t blame you.”

  A cool wind swept briskly across the porch. She shivered.

  “We should go in,” he said, but he made no move to do so. “Lavina, could we go for a ride after the wedding and talk?”

  She hesitated and then, apparently feeling bad because of the way she’d said what she did, she nodded. “Maybe after. Now I have to go in and take my turn helping in the kitchen.”

  David opened the door and she walked inside, left her jacket in the bedroom, and joined the other women working in the kitchen. He heard a lot of chattering and laughing as he walked past the room and back to where people were sitting and eating. Hannah and Mark sat at the eck, the corner of the biggest table, and received good wishes from their guests. He’d wait and talk to them once things settled down.

  The first group of attendees had eaten, and now a new group was taking their place. He nodded as someone would pass by and say hello or ask about his dat. Although he’d been away a year, he’d been warmly welcomed back to this community where he had attended Sunday services and weddings and funerals with them from the time he’d been born. He hadn’t attended services since he’d moved back home so that he could be there if his dat needed him while his mudder got out for worship and for the company she needed.

  So today he was feeling a little at sea, a bit disconnected, moving like a ghost among them. Physically close and yet as distant as if he hung in a separate world from them. Well, it was to be expected, he told himself. He had been in another world—the Englisch world—so different from this world. Some Amish worked by day with the Englisch, but he’d torn himself totally away from his community and even lived in a small apartment over an Englischer’s home. He’d cut his hair in the Englisch style. Even bought a truck.

  It was still an adjustment coming home, and here, in the midst of the reception after one of the most important religious ceremonies in their church, he was mingling with people who had been important to him all his life and he’d severed himself from.

  Looking around, he suddenly felt a lump form in his throat. Here was home. It wasn’t just the wooden frame structure where he lived with his parents. It was his church community. He caught a movement and saw Lavina watching him from across the room, a puzzled expression on her face.

  Emotions tangled in him. He’d missed all this more than he had thought. Convinced there was no future for him in his world, he’d fled to the Englisch world. And now he realized just how much in exile he’d been.

  Suddenly the room felt too small, too full of people. He had to get out, get some air.

  He rushed out, bumping into someone as he rushed down the hallway.

  “Sorry,” he said, not looking back.

  He found his jacket and pulled it on as he pushed out the front door. The air was crisp and cold. He dragged in a lungful, then another and felt better. Still, he didn’t feel ready to go back inside.

  The women of the church were busy inside the house serving, washing up, entertaining kinner, but once the men had set up tables after the ceremony was over, they didn’t have much to do. He saw men milling around the barn, talking, taking a break. He joined them in the barn, making himself useful watering the horses.

  After a time he heard singing coming from the house. The sound of the hymns he’d sung since he was a kind so
othed his troubled spirit.

  He made himself go back into the house, spoke to the happy couple and joined in the singing. After a time he had a piece of wedding cake, but it tasted too sweet, and he looked around carefully for a way to set it aside mostly uneaten.

  Lavina and her schweschders finished their turn in the kitchen and joined in the festivities. He watched Rose Anna flirt a little shyly with a young man and wondered if she’d given up on waiting for John.

  The supper meal was served and although everyone had enjoyed a hearty lunch, most found an appetite for this one too.

  David wondered how soon he could persuade Lavina to leave with him.

  Finally, she approached him. He could see something was wrong. Her face was pale and she rubbed her fingers at one temple.

  “Rose Anna’s going to drive me home. I have a headache.”

  “I’ll take you—” he began but she shook her head, and he could see the movement hurt. “Nee. We can talk tomorrow if you want.”

  “Lavina, let me take you. We don’t have to talk. And this way, Rose Anna doesn’t have to leave the wedding.”

  She hesitated, looked at her schweschder and then sighed. “Allrecht.”

  ***

  “Warm enough?”

  Lavina stroked her hand over the blanket he’d insisted on spreading over her lap after she climbed into the buggy. Dusk was falling and the air was chilly.

  “I’m fine, danki.” She looked at him. “It was kind of you to do this so Rose Anna could stay. Are you going back?” The reception would last until ten or so.

  He shook his head. “I thought I’d see if Mamm wants to go for a while, and I’ll sit with Daed. I offered earlier, but she said she wasn’t feeling well and wanted to stay home with him.”

  “I hope it’s nothing serious.”

  “I don’t think so. She gets tired running around taking care of him.”

  Lavina stared at her hands folded atop the blanket. “Were you worrying about her earlier? At the wedding? You looked like something was wrong before you went outside.”

  He’d promised her they didn’t have to talk, but she was the one asking questions.