Fifty Shades Trilogy Bundle: Fifty Shades of Grey; Fifty Shades Darker; Fifty Shades Freed
Page 125
Anastasia Grey
Editor, SIP
I stare at the screen for another five minutes, anxious for his response, but there’s nothing. Christian is not in the mood to play today.
I sit back. Can I blame him? My poor Fifty was probably frantic, back in the early hours of this morning. Then a thought occurs to me. He was in his tux when I woke this morning. What time did he decide to come back from New York? He normally leaves functions between ten and eleven. Last night at that hour, I was still at large with Kate.
Did Christian come home because I was out or because of the Jack incident? If he left because I was out having a good time, he would have had no idea about Jack, about the police, nothing—until he landed in Seattle. It’s suddenly very important to me to find out. If Christian came back merely because I was out, then he was overreacting. My subconscious sucks her teeth, wearing her harpy face. Okay, I’m glad he’s back, so maybe it’s irrelevant. But still—Christian must have had one hell of a shock when he landed. No wonder he’s so confused today. His earlier words come back to me. “I am still fucking mad at you, Anastasia. You’re making me question my judgment.”
I have to know—did he come back because of Cocktailgate or because of the fucking lunatic?
* * *
From: Anastasia Grey
Subject: Your Flight
Date: August 26 2011 13:24
To: Christian Grey
What time did you decide to come back to Seattle yesterday?
Anastasia Grey
Editor, SIP
* * *
From: Christian Grey
Subject: Your Flight
Date: August 26 2011 13:26
To: Anastasia Grey
Why?
Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
* * *
From: Anastasia Grey
Subject: Your Flight
Date: August 26 2011 13:29
To: Christian Grey
Call it curiosity.
Anastasia Grey
Editor, SIP
* * *
From: Christian Grey
Subject: Your Flight
Date: August 26 2011 13:32
To: Anastasia Grey
Curiosity killed the cat.
Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
* * *
From: Anastasia Grey
Subject: Huh?
Date: August 26 2011 13:35
To: Christian Grey
What is that oblique reference to? Another threat?
You know where I am going with this, don’t you?
Did you decide to return because I went out for a drink with my friend after you asked me not to, or did you return because a madman was in your apartment?
Anastasia Grey
Editor, SIP
I stare at my screen. There’s no response. I glance at the clock on my computer. One forty-five and still no response.
* * *
From: Anastasia Grey
Subject: Here’s the Thing …
Date: August 26 2011 13:56
To: Christian Grey
I will take your silence as an admission that you did indeed return to Seattle because I CHANGED MY MIND. I am an adult female and went for a drink with my friend. I did not understand the security ramifications of CHANGING MY MIND because YOU NEVER TELL ME ANYTHING. I found out from Kate that security has, in fact, been stepped up for all the Greys, not just us. I think you generally overreact where my safety is concerned, and I understand why, but you’re like the boy crying wolf.
I never have a clue about what is a real concern or merely something that is perceived as a concern by you. I had two of the security detail with me. I thought both Kate and I would be safe. Fact is, we were safer in that bar than at the apartment. Had I been FULLY INFORMED of the situation, I would have taken a different course of action.
I understand your concerns are something to do with material that was on Jack’s computer here—or so Kate believes. Do you know how annoying it is to find out my best friend knows more about what’s going on with you than I do? And I am your WIFE. So are you going to tell me? Or will you continue to treat me like a child, guaranteeing that I continue to behave like one?
You are not the only one who is fucking pissed. Okay?
Ana
Anastasia Grey
Editor, SIP
I hit “send.” There—stick that in your pipe and smoke it, Grey. I take a deep breath. I have worked myself up into quite a rage. Here I was feeling sorry and guilty for behaving badly. Well, no longer.
* * *
From: Christian Grey
Subject: Here’s the Thing …
Date: August 26 2011 13:59
To: Anastasia Grey
As ever, Mrs. Grey, you are forthright and challenging in e-mail.
Perhaps we can discuss this when you get home to OUR apartment.
You should watch your language. I am still fucking pissed, too.
Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.
Watch my language! I scowl at my computer, realizing this is getting me nowhere. I don’t respond, but pick up a manuscript recently received from a promising new author and begin to read.
MY MEETING WITH DETECTIVE Clark is uneventful. He is less growly than the night before, maybe because he’s managed some sleep. Or maybe he just prefers working during the day.
“Thank you for your statement, Mrs. Grey.”
“You’re welcome, Detective. Is Hyde in police custody yet?”
“Yes, ma’am. He was released from the hospital earlier this morning. With what he’s charged with, he should be with us for a while.” He smiles, his dark eyes crinkling in the corners.
“Good. This has been an anxious time for my husband and me.”
“I spoke at length with Mr. Grey this morning. He’s very relieved. Interesting man, your husband.”
You have no idea.
“Yes, I think so.” I offer him a polite smile, and he knows he’s being dismissed.
“If you think of anything, you can call me. Here’s my card.” He wrestles a card out of his wallet and hands it to me.
“Thank you, Detective. I’ll do that.”
“Good day to you, Mrs. Grey.”
“Good day.”
As he leaves, I wonder exactly what Hyde has been charged with. No doubt Christian won’t tell me. I purse my lips.
WE RIDE IN SILENCE to Escala. Sawyer is driving this time, Prescott at his side, and my heart grows heavier and heavier as we head back. I know Christian and I are going to have an almighty fight, and I don’t know if I have the energy.
As I ride in the elevator from the garage with Prescott beside me, I try to marshal my thoughts. What do I want to say? I think I said it all in my e-mail. Perhaps he’ll give me some answers. I hope so. I can’t help my nerves. My heart is pounding, my mouth is dry, and my palms are sweaty. I don’t want to fight. But sometimes he’s so difficult, and I need to stand my ground.
The elevator doors slide open, revealing the foyer, and it’s once more neat and tidy. The table is upright and a new vase is in place with a gorgeous array of pale pink and white peonies. I quickly check the paintings as we wander through—the Madonnas all look to be intact. The broken foyer door is fixed and operational once more, and Prescott kindly opens it for me. She’s been so quiet today. I think I prefer her this way.
I drop my briefcase in the hall and head into the great room. I stop. Holy fuck.
“Good evening, Mrs. Grey,” Christian says softly. He’s standing by the piano, dressed in a tight black T-shirt and jeans … those jeans—the ones he wore in the playroom. Oh my. They are overwashed pale blue denim, snug, ripped at the knee, and hot. He saunters over to me, his feet bare, the top button of the jeans undone, his smoldering eyes never leaving mine.
“Good to have you home. I’ve been waiting for you.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
* * *
Have you now?” I whisper. My mouth goes drier still, my heart pounding in my chest. Why’s he dressed like this? What does it mean? Is he still sulking?
“I have.” His voice is kitten soft, but he’s smirking as he strolls closer to me.
He looks hot—his jeans hanging that way from his hips. Oh no, I’m not going to be distracted by Mr. Sex-on-Legs. I try to gauge his mood as he stalks toward me. Angry? Playful? Lustful? Gah! It’s impossible to tell.
“I like your jeans,” I murmur. He grins a disarming wolfish grin that doesn’t reach his eyes. Shit—he’s still mad. He’s wearing these to distract me. He halts in front of me, and I’m seared by his intensity. He gazes down, wide unreadable eyes burning into mine. I swallow.
“I understand you have issues, Mrs. Grey,” he says silkily, and he pulls something from the back pocket of his jeans. I can’t tear my gaze from his, but hear him unfold a piece of paper. He holds it up, and glancing briefly in its direction, I recognize my e-mail. My gaze returns to his, as his eyes blaze bright with anger.
“Yes, I have issues,” I whisper, feeling breathless. I need distance if we’re going to discuss this. But before I can step back, he leans down and runs his nose along mine. My eyes flutter to a close as I welcome his unexpected, gentle touch.
“So do I,” he whispers against my skin, and I open my eyes at his words. He straightens and gazes intently at me once more.
“I think I’m familiar with your issues, Christian.” My voice is wry, and he narrows his eyes, suppressing the amusement that sparks there momentarily. Are we going to fight? I take a precautionary step back. I must physically distance myself from him—from his smell, his look, his distracting body in those hot jeans. He frowns as I move away.
“Why did you fly back from New York?” I whisper. Let’s get this over and done with.
“You know why.” His tone carries a warning ring.
“Because I went out with Kate?”
“Because you went back on your word, and you defied me, putting yourself at unnecessary risk.”
“Went back on my word? Is that how you see it?” I gasp, ignoring the rest of his sentence.
“Yes.”
Holy crap. Talk about overreaction! I start to roll my eyes but stop when he scowls at me. “Christian, I changed my mind,” I explain slowly, patiently, as if he’s a child. “I’m a woman. We’re renowned for it. That’s what we do.”
He blinks at me as if he doesn’t comprehend this.
“If I had thought for one minute that you would cancel your business trip …” Words fail me. I realize I don’t know what to say. I am momentarily catapulted back to the argument over our vows. I never promised to obey you, Christian. But I hold my tongue, because deep down I’m glad he came back. In spite of his fury, I’m glad he’s here in one piece, angry and smoldering in front of me.
“You changed your mind?” He can’t hide his contemptuous disbelief.
“Yes.”
“And you didn’t think to call me?” He glares at me, incredulous, before continuing. “What’s more, you left the security detail short here and put Ryan at risk.”
Oh. I hadn’t thought about that.
“I should have called, but I didn’t want to worry you. If I had, I’m sure you would have forbidden me to go, and I’ve missed Kate. I wanted to see her. Besides, it kept me out of the way when Jack was here. Ryan shouldn’t have let him in.” This is so confusing. If Ryan hadn’t, Jack would still be at large.
Christian’s eyes gleam wildly, then shut, his face tightening as if in pain. Oh no. He shakes his head, and before I know it he has folded me in his arms, pulling me hard against him.
“Oh, Ana,” he whispers as he tightens his hold on me so that I can barely breathe. “If something were to happen to you—” His voice is barely a whisper.
“It didn’t,” I manage to say.
“But it could have. I’ve died a thousand deaths today thinking about what might have happened. I was so mad, Ana. Mad at you. Mad at myself. Mad at everyone. I can’t remember being this angry … except—” He stops again.
“Except?” I prompt.
“Once in your old apartment. When Leila was there.”
Oh. I don’t want to think about that.
“You were so cold this morning,” I murmur. My voice cracks on the last word as I remember the hideous feeling of rejection in the shower. His hands move to the nape of my neck, loosening their grip on me, and I take a deep breath. He pulls my head back.
“I don’t know how to deal with this anger. I don’t think I want to hurt you,” he says, his eyes wide and wary. “This morning, I wanted to punish you, badly, and—” He stops, lost for words I think, or too afraid to say them.
“You were worried you’d hurt me?” I finish his sentence for him, not believing that he’d hurt me for a minute, but relieved, too. A small vicious part of me feared it was because he didn’t want me anymore.
“I didn’t trust myself,” he says quietly.
“Christian, I know you’d never hurt me. Not physically, anyway.” I clasp his head between my hands.
“Do you?” he asks, and there’s skepticism in his voice.
“Yes. I knew what you said was an empty, idle threat. I know you’re not going to beat the shit out of me.”
“I wanted to.”
“No you didn’t. You just thought you did.”
“I don’t know if that’s true,” he murmurs.
“Think about it,” I urge, wrapping my arms around him once more and nuzzling his chest through the black T-shirt. “About how you felt when I left. You’ve told me often enough what that did to you. How it altered your view of the world, of me. I know what you’ve given up for me. Think about how you felt about the cuff marks on our honeymoon.”
He stills, and I know he’s processing this information. I tighten my arms around him, my hands on his back, feeling his taut, toned muscles beneath his T-shirt. Gradually he relaxes as the tension slowly ebbs away.
Is this what’s been worrying him? That he’ll hurt me? Why do I have more faith in him than he has in himself? I don’t understand; surely we’ve moved on. He’s normally so strong, so in control, but without that, he’s lost. Oh, Fifty, Fifty, Fifty—I’m sorry. He kisses my hair, I turn my face up to his, and his lips find mine, searching, taking, giving, begging—for what, I don’t know. I just want to feel his mouth on mine, and I return his kiss passionately.
“You have such faith in me,” he whispers after he breaks away.
“I do.” He strokes my face with the backs of his knuckles and the tip of his thumb, gazing intently into my eyes. His anger has gone. My Fifty is back from wherever he’s been. It’s good to see him. I glance up and smile shyly.
“Besides,” I whisper, “you don’t have the paperwork.”
His mouth drops open in amused shock, and he clutches me to his chest again.
“You’re right. I don’t.” He laughs.
We stand in the middle of the great room, locked in our embrace, just holding each other.
“Come to bed,” he whispers, after heaven knows how long.
Oh my …
“Christian, we need to talk.”
“Later,” he urges softly.
“Christian, please. Talk to me.”
He sighs. “About what?”
“You know. You keep me in the dark.”
“I want to protect you.”
“I’m not a child.”
“I am fully aware of that, Mrs. Grey.” He runs his hands down my body and cups my backside. Flexing his hips, he presses his growing erection into me.
“Christian!” I scold. “Talk to me.”
He sighs once more with exasperation. “What do you want to know?” His voice is resigned as he releases me. I balk—I didn’t mean you had to let me go. Taking my hand, he reaches down to pick up my e-mail from the floor.
“Lots of things,” I mutter, as I
let him lead me to the couch.
“Sit,” he orders. Some things never change, I muse, doing as I’m told. Christian sits beside me, and leaning forward, puts his head in his hands.
Oh no. Is this too hard for him? Then he sits up, rakes both hands through his hair, and turns to me, at once expectant and reconciled to his fate.
“Ask me,” he says simply.
Oh. Well, that was easier than I thought. “Why the additional security for your family?”
“Hyde was a threat to them.”
“How do you know?”
“From his computer. It held personal details about me and the rest of my family. Especially Carrick.”
“Carrick? Why him?”
“I don’t know yet. Let’s go to bed.”
“Christian, tell me!”
“Tell you what?”
“You are so … exasperating.”
“So are you.” He glares.
“You didn’t ramp up the security when you first found out there was information about your family on the computer. So what happened? Why now?”
Christian narrows his eyes at me.
“I didn’t know he was going to attempt to burn down my building, or—” He stops. “We thought it was an unwelcome obsession, but you know”—he shrugs—“when you’re in the public eye, people are interested. It was random stuff: news reports on me from when I was at Harvard—my rowing, my career. Reports on Carrick—following his career, following my mom’s career—and to some extent, Elliot and Mia.”