Shiftr: Swipe Left for Love (Lori) BBW Bear Shifter Romance (Hope Valley BBW Dating App Romance Book 5)

by Ariana Hawkes

  Bruno and Tad got back into their pickup truck and began the ten-minute drive home. As he drove, Bruno glanced at his son, watching his intelligent eyes gazing out of the window, absorbing so many stimuli. He imagined his brain processing all the information, and wished he still had that innocent apprehension of the world.

  “Did you have a good time there, Tad?” he asked him.

  “Yes,” Tad said simply. He turned his head to watch another truck passing in the opposite direction. “The lady who had the accident looked very sad.” Bruno sighed.

  “I think the accident shook her up a lot. She’s also been having a hard time lately.”

  “Oh. I like her though. She’s very nice.”

  “Yes, she is,” Bruno replied distractedly. He was thinking about that weird sensation he’d felt when she touched him. The only time he’d felt like that before was when he’d hugged his mate. Karen had been his fated mate. He’d known it the first time they met. It was at a Hope Valley summer ball many years ago, and when her sparkling green eyes had locked on his, he just knew. It was as if a lucky star was hanging in the sky between them. At least, they’d been lucky for seven years. And then he’d lost her. He thought he’d never get over his grief. If he hadn’t had Tad to look after, he probably wouldn’t have made it. He hadn’t dated anyone since then, much less mated with anyone. His life was Tad, his clan, and the fire service, and there was hardly any space for anything else.

  It was all the more surprising that Lori’s hug had felt so nice – soft and enveloping – and he’d had a sudden urge to hold her in his arms and protect her.

  “Daaaad?” Tad said, in his drawn out way, which indicated that a momentous question was coming.

  “What is it, squirt?”

  “Why don't we get a baby for ourselves? Maybe we could have one for Christmas?” Bruno laughed, swallowing down the guilt that had risen up again.

  “If only it was that easy. Most of the time you need a lady before you can have a baby,” he said. Tad was silent for a while, staring out of the window.

  “Then I don’t want to have a baby,” he said. “I'm happy just being with you, dad.” Just as well, because that's not about to change anytime soon, Bruno thought to himself.

  “And I'm happy just being with you, son,” he said aloud, squeezing Tad’s small shoulder.

  Chapter Three

  Lori woke up in a spare bedroom in her sister’s house. Nancy was sleeping in an improvised crib next to her. It was made from a large wooden box, the sides padded with cushions. Lori was beyond tired. She had barely slept the night before, or the night before that, or the night before that. The doctors in the hospital said she most likely had a mild concussion, which would make her drowsy, but her emotional trauma was stronger, and made her sleep broken, with long periods of lying awake, staring into the darkness.

  At least she felt less apprehensive than she had during the long drive to Hope Valley. Andrea and her partner had been very sweet to her. Andrea seemed like a changed person. Somehow she had lost her competitiveness and sense of superiority, and instead she was just nice. Magnus was a very attractive man, and he had the confidence that came with having a lot of money. But she could also tell that he had a genuine heart, and he was obviously crazy about her sister. Andrea had always been very elusive about her boyfriends when she was living in New York, never seeming to keep the same one for very long, but this was very different. For one thing, she was pregnant! The baby was coming in seven months. Lori was happy for her, and it would be great for Nancy to have a cousin so close in age.

  She turned onto her side and watched Nancy as she slept. When she thought about how Nancy could have been injured in the car crash, her stomach clenched. At least she was so young that she wouldn't remember any of this later. Lori, on the other hand, would never forget it. A relationship breakdown and a near death experience, all within 24 hours. It was too much. She was barely aware that she was weeping again. She was grieving for the life that had been snatched away from her so abruptly. But why? She hadn't been happy with Rob. He’d often said the worst things about her weight. Made her feel like she was unattractive. She'd been with him so long that it had begun to seem normal. But now that she was here, in Hope Valley, seeing how Magnus treated Andrea brought out how bad her life had been with Rob. It was probably a blessing that he didn't want to see Nancy again. She’d had time to get over the initial shock, and now she was relieved that she wouldn't have to deal with him again. She had an appointment with a lawyer later that day to draw up their divorce documents, and she’d have one made up revoking his right to see or contact his daughter. After that, she was supposed to go and see her parents. She'd been too exhausted to see them the day before. She didn’t want them fussing around her, or criticizing her and the relationship decisions she took, and making her feel worse than she already did. Maybe she’d postpone another day or two. She got on better with them than Andrea did. She hadn't been as smart at school, so they hadn't subjected her to the same pressures that Andrea had suffered. Instead, they’d been all about her having a husband and a family. Until now, she hadn't considered how weird it was that they’d divided their daughters up in that way: one was to be the career girl, and the other the homemaker. And they'd both failed in their parents’ eyes. She gave a humorless laugh. At least she had some place to live. Poor Andrea had had to live with her parents when she first moved back to Hope Valley. She could only imagine what a hard time they must have given her.

  There was a soft knock at the door.

  “Morning!” she called. The door opened and Andrea came in with a coffee. She tiptoed in and set the coffee down on her nightstand.

  “Thank you, and you don't have to be quiet. I try to make sure Nancy wakes up when I do, to help her stay in a routine,” she said.

  “Oh, ok,” Andrea said and pulled the curtain, flooding the room with light. It was a beautiful summer morning. The sky was blue and the trees in the distance were green. Lori sat up in bed and sipped her coffee. Nancy started to whimper.

  “Shall I give her to you?”

  “Please.” Andrea leaned into the crib, her face full of tenderness, and took Nancy out. Lori lifted up her nightshirt and prepared to feed her.

  “I have to go to work today,” Andrea said, once Nancy was feeding contentedly. “Do you have any plans for the day?”

  “I’ve got an appointment with the lawyer, and I was debating going to see the parents.” Andrea looked at her and made a face, and they shook their heads at each other.

  “You could wait a day. Or three,” she said, and they both giggled.

  “Yeah, maybe that’s a plan,” Lori said. “I don’t think I feel strong enough to see them yet.”

  “There’s no rush. They don’t know you’re here. You’ve been through so much in the last few days; you should put yourself and Nancy first. Although Magnus suggested going for a walk, if you feel up to it? The forest is really nice. It always lifts my spirits. He said he’d be happy to take you to see the guys who built the house and you could tell them what kind of crib you want for Nancy.”

  “Really? That would be amazing.”

  “Absolutely, just let him know when you want to go.” Andrea was silent for a moment. When she started to speak again, her eyes were full of emotion.

  “Lori, I’m so sorry. I never knew Rob was like that. I thought you were the perfect couple. I was insanely jealous of you.” Lori laughed.

  “That’s funny. I was insanely jealous of you, with your exciting New York life, while I was sad and lonely in suburbia.” Andrea squeezed her hand.

  “Just goes to show that you never know what’s going on in someone else’s life.”

  “True. I can see that you’re very happy now though,” Lori said with a smile.

  “I am.” Andrea nodded.

  “Hey, you don’t have to play it down. I’m so, so happy that you’ve found Magnus.”

  “Thanks, sis,” Andrea put her arm around Lori and squeezed her
shoulders. “Isn’t it funny that we’ve both come back home to Hope Valley without ever meaning to. It feels like fate, somehow.”

  “It does,” Lori agreed. “I think I always secretly hoped it would happen.”

  “Me too. Ok, I’ve gotta run now. Have a good day, and call me if you need anything.”

  “Thanks, sis,” Lori said as Andrea rushed out of the room.

  *

  A week passed, and Lori got through it somehow. She put all of her energies into looking after Nancy, and tried to ignore the fact that her heart and life had been torn into a million pieces. But the feeling had settled deep inside her. She’d believed that marriage was for life, and thought that she and Rob would be together forever. Even when things were very obviously not right, she’d ignored them, and tried to make him as happy as she possibly could, so he’d stay home with her more often, instead of going out with his friends. Or out with other women. Her instincts told her that the woman he’d left her for probably wasn’t the first one he’d been with. He’d probably been cheating on her for years. She’d seen the signs before – a hint of women’s perfume on the collar of his shirt, a mysterious scratch on his hip – but he’d explained it away, and been so foul tempered afterwards that she hadn’t dared to bring up her concerns again. All week, she’d tortured herself with thoughts of Rob having sex with other women; the only man she’d trusted betraying her like that, and she was sick to her stomach.

  At the end of the week, the local doctor, Dr Harley, came over to check on her leg wound. He was the partner of Melissa, one of Andrea’s friends, and he came highly recommended. He was startlingly handsome, and he had a gentle, calm manner. Melissa is a very lucky girl, she thought to herself. He doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who’d cheat on and abandon his partner.

  “It’s healing well,” he said, as he examined her. “We’ll keep the dressings on for another week or two, and then you’ll be fine. I don’t think there’ll be much of a scar. But how are you, apart from that?”

  “I’m ok,” she said, automatically. He looked at her very directly.

  “You were recently involved in a serious car crash, and I understand that you’ve just moved here, and left your previous life behind. It sounds like you’ve been going through a very tough time. I don’t think anyone would be ‘ok’ in that situation.” Lori’s eyes filled with tears. He’d caught her off guard.

  “I’m holding it together for the sake of Nancy; and Andrea and Magnus have been amazing. But it hurts. I feel like my head’s swimming all the time, like I can’t get my thoughts under control.” Dr Harley nodded.

  “That’s very common for trauma victims.” He settled more comfortably onto the couch, indicating that he wasn’t in any hurry to go anywhere. “Tell me more about how you’ve been feeling?”

  She did. She told him everything, starting with the way that Rob had begun to treat her differently after they were married, constantly criticizing her appearance, calling her fat and ugly, to how he’d started to leave her alone in the evenings, claiming he was working late. She shook her head in disgust at her own dumbness. She explained how she’d been so happy when she’d fallen pregnant, and thought that the baby would bring them together. But Rob’s behavior hadn’t changed. Then she told him all about her discovery of the affair, him not even wanting any rights to see Nancy, and the way she’d left Turnersville suddenly. And then all about the car crash.

  “I keep having flashbacks,” she finished. “Every time I think about how the fuel tank exploded, and that jet of flame shot out, I get really hot and I can’t breathe. It’s like I’m trapped inside the car, watching it all happen.”

  “You’re still in shock,” Dr Harley said gently. “It takes a long time for your brain to process traumatic incidents, never mind two at a time. A week isn’t a long time at all. There’s a real risk of PTSD in these situations. It’s important that you keep talking about what happened, so that it doesn’t stay internalized. I can give you the details of some therapists.”

  “Please,” Lori said, nodding. He went through his phone and gave her some numbers.

  “Apart from that, try to do some things that you enjoy. Get out and have fun. It’ll do you good to remind yourself that there are plenty of good things in the world. Are you going to stay in Hope Valley permanently now?”

  “I think so. It’s my hometown, and I guess I’ve always missed it a little bit. I’d love to live near Andrea too. It’s been great to reconnect with her.”

  “Everyone here in the community is great as well,” he said.

  “Yes, they are. I saw Kristin recently. She was a couple of years ahead of me in high school, and it was really good to catch up with her. I met Melissa too. She’s so lovely and kind.” Dr Harley smiled.

  “I’m sure you’ll meet everyone else soon. There’s a whole bunch of guys who live in the forest, and Dina and Lauren are amazing. You’ll never be lonely here, that’s for sure!”

  “Thanks, doctor.”

  “Ok, I have to head to another appointment, but please give me a call if you need anything at all,” he said. “Otherwise, I’m sure we’ll meet at a social gathering soon.”

  Chapter Four

  A couple more weeks passed, and things did start to get easier for Lori. The pain hadn’t completely gone, but it was blunted. Thoughts of Rob no longer left her breathless. The divorce was underway and Lori had officially gone back to her maiden name. Rob was selling their house, so she’d soon be the recipient of a good amount of money. She’d started planning her dream cabin in her head, but she wasn’t in any rush to move, and Andrea was very glad to have her stay in her cabin.

  Lori got introduced to Lauren, who had a six-month old daughter Willow. Lauren was a force of nature – so full of life, and always cracking sarcastic jokes. Her daughter was beautiful. She had honey-toned skin, a few shades lighter than her mother’s, long, black eyelashes, and huge curious eyes. Lori also met Dina at the baby shower for her new-born son. Dina was a lovely woman – strong, yet gentle – and her baby, Hayden, was the image of his father, Logan. Lori loved getting together with them and chatting about their babies. It was an experience she’d longed to have when Nancy was a newborn. Lauren and Dina asked her for advice, while Nancy crawled around the place, getting into mischief. She was just about on the point of walking, which meant she was on the point of pulling herself up, using furniture to hold on to, and then usually falling over backwards when her little legs gave way. She’d become more lively since they’d been in Hope Valley, and Lori could see that it was doing her good to be surrounded by lots of people. She wondered if she’d turn out to be very chatty and extroverted.

  Meanwhile, Kristin’s belly was getting quite big now. She was six months pregnant, and very impatient to have the baby. Her partner, Roman, was devoted to her, taking care of her every need. It was lovely to see how Kristin had achieved her ambitions of being a journalist for the Hope Valley Echo. Lori remembered her being the editor of the high school paper, and thinking she was really grown-up and cool. Being pregnant didn’t seem to be hampering Kristin’s work either. She was always rushing around like a whirlwind, going from one interview to another.

  Melissa was the only one who wasn’t either pregnant or a new mom. Lori vaguely remembered her from her teens too. She’d been Kristin’s best friend at college, and then she’d moved to Hope Valley when she finished school. She'd met and married a guy pretty quickly, and Lori had left shortly after that. Melissa explained how she’d been pregnant and given birth, but the baby was stillborn. And then her marriage had broken up. But, luckily, she'd met Dr Harley – whose first name was actually Harley – a few months ago, and they'd known instantly that they were meant for each other. They'd have kids some day, but for now, they just wanted to enjoy spending time together. It helped Lori a lot to speak to her. Melissa had lost her baby; Lori had just lost her good-for-nothing husband. Suddenly, it put everything into perspective. She hadn't lost anything; she’d just cast off the
parts of her life that she didn't need in the first place. And so, she took several more steps in the healing process.

  *

  One night, Lori was having a girls’ night in with Andrea, Kristin, Melissa, Dina and Lauren. All the men were taking care of the babies, while the girls were hanging out, chatting, doing their nails, eating chocolate, and drinking Melissa’s legendary mocktails. Lori was very touched that Magnus had volunteered to take care of Nancy. He was hanging out with Lauren’s partner, Connor, so the more experienced guy could give him some help if necessary.

  “Guess what’s happening next week!” Melissa said as she handed Lori a Shirley Temple.

  “What?” Lori replied.

  “Only the Hope Valley spring ball! It's one of the best events in the town’s annual calendar.”

  “Oh yeah. I think I remember my mom and dad going, back in the day.”

  “It's really fun. Everyone in the town attends. It's a good opportunity to dress up and meet new people. And there are always lots of eligible bachelors there!”

  “If there's one thing that Hope Valley’s not short of, it's good looking men!” Lauren said with a cackle. Lori smiled, then pressed her lips together. The girls had been dropping hints about her meeting some men. But she didn't feel at all ready. She'd only been divorced for a month, and Nancy was only a year old.

  “Hey, you don't have to meet guys there. It's just a good opportunity to see who’s out there, so you know that there are plenty of opportunities when you are ready,” Dina said, picking up on her expression.

  “I just feel like it's a little early,” she admitted. “But like you say, there's nothing wrong with a little eye candy!”

  “That’s the spirit,” Lauren said, raising her mocktail. Everyone clinked glasses with her.

  “So is it quite dressy?” Lori asked.

  “You'd better believe it, girlfriend!” Lauren said.