Cart Before The Horse

by Bernadette Marie

  “Haven’t stopped.” She pursed her lips together. “But you might change your mind about wanting to see more of me.”

  “Oh, I don’t think so.” He lifted his hand to her cheek and gave it a gentle brush with his thumb.

  “I’m pregnant.”

  He didn’t pull his hand away, but it stilled. He didn’t speak, but only sucked in a deep, sharp breath and let it out slowly. The twinkle in his eyes clouded over and Holly knew she’d lost him, again.

  Chapter Two

  She held her breath and peeked at him with one eye. He didn’t run out of the room. He didn’t even swear. He sat back on his heels and sucked in another deep breath.

  When he’d been silent too long, she asked, “Don’t you have anything to say?”

  “Wow.”

  “Oh, well, that sums it up.” She had to get out of here. This time she managed to stand, but her path was blocked with him still on his knees before her. “I have to get back to work.”

  “Like hell you do. You don’t come in here and dump that on me and walk out like you did the night we met.”

  “I… I…” She had walked out on him. “I’m sorry.” She finally sat back down. “I didn’t know what to do. I don’t drink. I don’t party. I don’t go out with men I don’t know.” She threw her hands in the air. “Honestly, I don’t go out with men I do know. I’m not fun. I’m not even nice.”

  “You’re really making me like you.” He stood to pace the room.

  “I just don’t want you to think I did this on purpose. I don’t want anything from you. I just thought you should know. And I thought I should figure out who you were so I could tell the baby about you.”

  He nodded and rubbed his chin with his thumb. “First off, I don’t think you did this on purpose. I wasn’t as drunk as you were that night, but I know we used protection.”

  “A lot of good that did.”

  “Several times.” His crooked smile made her throat feel odd before he went back to pacing. “Secondly, you may not want anything from me, but you’re getting the whole package.”

  Holly snapped up her head.

  He stopped and turned to look at her. “You’re keeping the baby, right? I mean, if you weren’t, you wouldn’t have told

  me, right?”

  “Right.”

  “Good. I want us to keep this baby.”

  Us…he’d used the word us. She couldn’t speak, so she

  nodded.

  Gabriel blew out another breath. “I guess we’d better get to know each other a little better,” he offered, and Holly continued to nod her head. It was the only reaction she could come up with. “We kinda put the cart before the horse, didn’t we?”

  “What?” Her voice cracked.

  “Cart before the horse. My mother says it all the time.

  It means—”

  “I know what it means.” She stood. Her mouth hung open. “My mother has said that to me my whole life.”

  “At least we know our mothers think alike. It’s a start.” He reached for her hand. “C’mon, we’re going somewhere to talk. Why don’t we go back to your place?”

  “What’s wrong with right here?”

  “Here?” He looked around the room.

  “At the bar or in a booth.”

  “Ears, Holly. Too many of them around wanting to know what I’m discussing.”

  She nodded. “What about your place?”

  “It’s upstairs. Let’s keep tongues from wagging for

  the moment.”

  “Oh, the tongues of the perkies out there?”

  “Perkies?” His forehead creased.

  “Yes, the perky tits and the perky personalities. The wait staff you hired to turn off your high-end clientele?” The

  sarcasm had taken over again, and she crossed here arms over her chest then dropped them to her sides.

  He laughed. He laughed hard, and every muscle in her body tensed. She fisted her hands and rested them on her hips.

  “If that’s what you go for…”

  “Wait.” The crooked smile was back, and his eyes grew darker. “Are you jealous?”

  “Me? No. Why should I be jealous? I barely know you.” She tapped her foot and let out a ragged breath. “I’m not important to you.”

  “But you are.” He stepped closer to her. “You’re about to be the mother of my child.”

  “Well, yes, but—”

  “Holly, it’s all about the money. It just so happens that the crowd that this particular establishment draws in seems to shell out money for the perkies,” he said, the hint of a laugh breaking through his voice. “I tend to have my mind filled these days with an auburn-haired, hazel-eyed fireball who wears Chanel sling-back shoes and carries a Gucci purse.” He looked right into her eyes.

  His knowledge of her fashion hit her like a fist to the stomach. No straight man would know a Chanel shoe or Gucci purse. She’d gone to bed with a gay man who wanted . . . what, a one-night-stand with a woman? “You sure do know a lot about women’s fashion, Mr. Maguire.”

  He tweaked her nose with his finger. “Here’s your first lesson on Gabe Maguire. I have four sisters. All of whom are much older than I am. So, I admit with some humility, I was a human doll. My mother was a woman of the seventies. She forged her way to the top desk as CEO of Abigail Fine Fashions during the eighties and enjoyed her success until she retired only four years ago. Fashion has been crammed down my throat since I was still attached with an umbilical cord.”

  Holly nodded. “Gabe?”

  “That’s what they call me.”

  “It looks like there was some fate in this match,” she said, finally smiling. “I’m a textile designer for TTD Inc.”

  “You’re right. Fate has a funny sense of humor.” He shook his head, and his lip curled into a sneer. “The woman I’ve been thinking of all this time is obsessed with fashion just like every other woman in my life.” He winked again and led her out into the restaurant.

  The fall air was crisp among the shadows of the tall buildings that made up the Denver skyline. Holly wrapped her arms around herself as she tried to keep up Gabe’s pace.

  They walked from one end of the Sixteenth Street pedestrian mall to the other without a word and then slipped into a quaint coffee shop bustling with its afternoon rush.

  Holly sat at a table as Gabe went to the counter and ordered drinks. He set a paper mug with a cardboard sleeve on it in front of her. “I had a bit of a panic attack at the counter. Caffeine isn’t good for expectant mothers. So I got you an

  herbal tea.”

  “That’s fine. Thank you.”

  “It’s not good for expectant fathers either.” He set his cup down and Holly noticed his hand shake.

  “It’s a lot to take in, isn’t it?”

  Gabe sat on the stool and wrapped his hands around his cup. “Wasn’t the way I planned on starting a family. I’m sure it wasn’t yours either.”

  “Not exactly.”

  Holly sipped her tea and found that the establishment didn’t brew its tea quite like Tracy’s. There was a mixed emotion that flooded her with that though. Tracy’s was downright bad, but the love that was mixed in made it palatable.

  Gabe pushed his cup back and picked it up again. Holly watched him fidget with the sleeve, but he never took a drink.

  He tapped his fingers on the lid and finally looked at her. “I

  hate this. I shouldn’t even ask, and I’m not accusing you,” he said quickly. “But—you’re sure this baby is mine?”

  Holly straightened her shoulders and lifted her head. She had to assume he’d ask. If she handled her emotions, they wouldn’t get the better of her. “I haven’t been with anyone else in two years.”

  “Well, I guess that answers that.”

  “Like I said, I don’t want anything from you.” She wasn’t even sure what she wanted or expected of herself. She was so overwhelmed it burned inside of her. “I just needed to

  know you.”


  “You made it pretty clear that you could do this on your own. I think I need to make it clearer that you won’t be.”

  “I appreciate that, but I’ve introduced you to a situation that, well, is way beyond anything I would want dumped on me. So, though your sincerity is admirable, I will understand when you walk away.”

  “When I walk away?” He shoved his cup back. “You’re setting me up for failure. Do I need to remind you that you’re the one who walked away the night we met, not me?”

  Her shoulders dropped. “I was embarrassed. You might be used to one-night stands, but…”

  “I’m not, and I told you that in my office. You were the first, and that wasn’t my fault. I would have liked to spend more time with you. Maybe even a few more nights. Some days too.” He sat back in his chair and glowered at her.

  “You expect me to believe that you run a bar full of perky waitresses and stunning customers, and you don’t take one home once in a while.”

  “Yes.” He leaned forward on his arms and looked her right in the eye. “I do expect you to believe that. Just as I believe you when you tell me you haven’t been with anyone else in two years.” He chewed on his bottom lip and cocked his eyebrow. She wondered what he could see. Then his cheek creased with a dimple. “Why is that, Holly? Why do you not have a

  man to love?”

  She swallowed hard and stood. “I don’t need you to criticize me.”

  “But you can criticize me?”

  “I didn’t… I mean.” She sat back down. “I’m sorry. I’m a bit out of sorts.”

  “That makes two of us.” He covered her hand with his. “I didn’t wake up thinking that in”—he wrinkled up his forehead—“seven months I was going to be a father.”

  “Wasn’t on my to-do list either.”

  “Then we need to make some decisions. Together.” He squeezed her hand. “I like you, Holly. I’ve thought about you every day since I met you. You don’t expect anything from me, but I’m here. I’m the father of your child and you’re the mother of mine. I’m not going to skip out on my responsibility. So whether we’re just friends, or even acquaintances, for the rest of our lives, we’ll always be bound by this child. I’m not a weekend-dad kind of man. I want to be hands on. So we need to decide how we do this.”

  Tears were welling in her eyes, and as hard as she tried, Holly couldn’t bat them away before they fell. “I’m going to be a horrible mother.”

  “No you’re not.”

  She nodded. “I’m too stuffy and uptight.”

  “Then you’ll learn to relax.”

  “I’m an overachiever. I’ll drive this kid insane.”

  “Or you’ll teach him how to do his best. Or her.”

  She began to laugh through her tears. His sense of humor made her want to know more about him, about how he’d turned out so well. “How long have your parents been married?”

  “Forty-five years. Yours?”

  “Thirty-three.”

  “Well, it’s good to know we both come from solid homes. My four sisters have ten children between them. I’ve got the

  uncle thing down pretty well.”

  Holly felt her body heat rise, and she wiped her hand over her forehead. “I’ve never been around a baby in my life.”

  He touched her cheek and wiped away a lingering tear. “It’ll come. I’ll be there, and God knows my mother will be too.” Gabe stood and helped Holly to her feet. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in tight. “Do you live close by?”

  “Yes. Just a few blocks away.”

  “Can we go back there? Talk? I don’t have to be back to the restaurant until four.” He gathered their cups. “Unless you need to get back to work.”

  “No, Tracy gave me the day off to find you.”

  “Smart woman.”

  “Yes, she is.”

  Holly gathered her purse and walked out of the coffee shop with Gabe. She couldn’t believe that she’d found him and now was headed back to her apartment with him. She stopped and let that sink in. She’d never invited a man up to her place—well, not one she didn’t know completely. How stupid did that sound? The man was the father of her child. It was certainly not the time to worry about inviting him into her home.

  Gabe insisted on taking a taxi to her condo. In all the years she’d lived in Denver she’d never taken a taxi, but he was being thoughtful and she accepted his graciousness.

  Holly opened the door to her condo, and Gabe followed her inside. He walked right through the living room and to the bank of windows that looked west over the city and toward the welcoming ridge of the Rocky Mountains.

  “Holly, this is amazing.”

  “I suppose it is. I’ll admit, I don’t notice it too much

  anymore.”

  “How could you not? Look, you can watch that car all the way to the highway.” He let out a chuckle. “This is awesome.”

  Holly hung up her jacket and walked to the small kitchen.

  Her heartbeat was ramping up, knowing he was in her home—in her life.

  She opened the cupboard and pulled out two glasses, which she filled with water from the tap on the refrigerator. When she walked back to the living room, she found he had pulled back the blinds and was watching the world at his feet.

  “It’s more impressive from the roof,” she offered.

  “Really?” He spun around and his eyes danced. “I’d love

  to see that.”

  “Some other time. Water?”

  “Sure.” He took the glass from her and settled his gaze on her. “You’re a beautiful woman, Holly.”

  She let out a long breath and turned away. She wasn’t used to men looking at her the way he did. “Gabe, I’m not in

  love with you.”

  “Of course not. You don’t know me.”

  “Right. I should have been in love with you before I went to bed with you. Lack of direction that night. But”—she was talking quickly to get to her point, and she made herself slow down and get it right—“what I want you to know is, we need to establish that we are just two people on this same journey. I don’t want you to expect anything from me.”

  She turned back to him, and he gave her a slow nod. “Can we at least work on being friends? It sounds better than

  introducing my child to someone as Junior and his mother, my acquaintance.”

  She felt foolish, and she assumed that was his

  point. “Friends.”

  Gabe sat down on the sofa and set his glass on a coaster on the coffee table. “You’ve been to the doctor?”

  Finally, they were talking about something that was a little more comfortable to her. This was a question she could answer. Even if she didn’t want to think about it.

  “Yes.” She sat down in the chair across from him. “I’m exactly eight weeks along.”

  “That gives us a full seven months to plan everything out.” He sat back. “Do you have another appointment set up?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’d like to be there. I’d like to be at all of them.”

  “Is that normal?” She’d be exposing everything to him if he came with her. But how dumb was that? Obviously he wouldn’t be asking to go to prenatal appointments if she hadn’t exposed everything to him once.

  He smiled. “Yes. My brother-in-law even delivered one of my nephews. He said it was amazing.”

  She felt the blood drain from her head. Delivery. That’s right. The unexpected child was going to bring pain.

  Gabe stood and swiftly moved to her. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah. Just a little dizzy.”

  “Would you like to lie down?”

  “Maybe I should.” She stood and Gabe held her arms. She looked up at him. Her child would be good looking, because Gabe was striking. No wonder she’d fallen into his bed.

  She tried to shake off the thought. Friends was all she’d offered, and friends it was going to remain.

  “Will you be okay?” He loosened h
is grip.

  “I’ll be fine.”

  “I’ll let you be, then. Will you come down to the

  restaurant for dinner?”

  “No. I’m okay. Really.”

  “Hey, this is one of those things I can do. I can feed you and feed you well.” He touched her face again and his fingertips lingered on her skin, sending a calmness through her she hadn’t felt in days. His eyes were compassionate, and the thoughts that he was still a stranger began to slide away. “Let me.”

  It meant a lot that she didn’t have to worry he would slip away in the night. He was offering her more than she could have ever expected, and that included decent meals. “I’ll think about it.”

  Gabe pulled his cell phone from his pocket. “And, so I

  don’t lose you again, give me your phone number.”

  She took the phone and just looked at it. Agreeing to a meal was one thing. Giving him her number ensured he’d be able to reach her always.

  It wasn’t nearly as big a commitment as having a baby with the man.

  She typed her number into the phone, and he grabbed it back from her.

  “Good.” He saved the information and stuck the phone back into his pocket. When he rubbed his palms on his pants, she knew she wasn’t the only one who was nervous about what they were about to go through. “I’m not kidding. I’m not leaving you. This is our baby. I’m here for both of you.”

  Holly bit the inside of her cheek. Should she kiss him for caring? Or push him out the door before she lost her composure? “Thank you,” she managed, but her voice broke and the tears were bound to come next.

  He walked to the door and opened it as he turned to look at her again. “Dinner. Give it some thought.”