Cart Before The Horse

by Bernadette Marie

  She was right. He was a good catch. Perhaps she’d try a little harder at not being so uptight.

  Gabe called to check on her. Hearing his voice comforted the nausea she’d been feeling, and an unfamiliar happiness fluttered inside of her. “We’re watching Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks movies,” she told him.

  “I think I’m glad I didn’t invite myself over.”

  “Probably.”

  “I’m glad she came over to spend time with you. You

  sound happy.”

  Holly looked at her friend seated on her couch and the pile of thoughtful gifts on the table. “Yes. I’m very happy.”

  “Will I see you for dinner tomorrow?”

  “I’ll be there. Would you like me to cook something

  for you?”

  “No. Chef has a new recipe he wants us to try. We’ll let him cook. But can I take you to lunch?”

  Holly sank down in her chair. Having him come to the office to get her for lunch would definitely have people talking. Then again, most of them watched her walk out of the bar with him the night of her birthday. And it wasn’t like it was going to be much of a secret for long.

  “I would like that.”

  When she hung up the phone, Tracy sat watching the TV, but smiling. “He’s coming into the office, huh?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Good. I win the pool.”

  Holly sat back up. “You what?”

  “We all wondered how long it would take to get him into the office, which even with all the baby and wedding stuff, is a big deal. When you have a man pick you up at work for lunch, it’s a serious relationship. I win.”

  Holly shook her head. Why was she so worried about what everyone else thought? She seemed to be the only person having a problem with what was going on in her life.

  Holly was working on organizing the presentation of new designs she would have to give on Friday. She’d been so scatterbrained over the past week, she more than appreciated the grace period the client had given them. This was her opportunity to make the pitch bigger and better—if she could only focus.

  When someone tapped at the door, she snapped out the command to enter, but didn’t look up from her drafting board

  where she arranged fabric swatches and notes into a more eye-catching order for the meeting.

  “Nice office.”

  Gabe’s voice was like an eraser that suddenly cleared her mind. Why was he here? Oh! The lunch date. Which should have been romantic but wasn’t because they weren’t a real

  couple. Even so, she had a nearly overwhelming urge to run across the room and into his arms. She wasn’t sure what to do about that, so she did nothing.

  “I don’t know if I should leave. I’m really busy,” she said, picking up her stack of yellow sticky notes.

  “Oh, well, I can just hang out here. Chandra has the beverage rep sitting at the bar going over the inventory. She’s better if I’m just not there to get in her way.”

  Holly lifted her eyes to watch him walk further into the office and sit down in one of her plush chairs.

  He was dressed casually in a pair of dark pants and a button-down shirt. She’d never noticed the gold watch on his arm before. She could see the insignia from where she stood; it

  was a Rolex.

  His eyes were wandering the room, but hers centered on him. The sunlight through the window caught the specks of gray at his temple, and from the side she noticed just how long his eyelashes were. Well, she thought as her muscles turned fluid and her body heat rose, she’d fallen into bed with one very handsome man.

  She put down her ruler and pencil. “I suppose I could get something to eat. I can see why women gain so much weight when we’re pregnant. I’m hungry all the time.”

  That made him smile, and he stood to meet her as she crossed the room to get her coat from the hook by the door. He took her coat from her and held it while she slipped her arms through the sleeves. Then when she turned, he gathered her in his arms and placed a gentle kiss on her lips.

  He backed up, and she sucked in a breath. “What was that for?”

  He lifted his glance toward the frosted glass where she could see the shapes of people standing just beyond the wall. “Tracy gave me her winnings to take you out to lunch. Since they’re probably all watching our silhouettes, we should give them a show.”

  Holly dropped her shoulders. “Is this a game to everyone?”

  He shook his head. “To them maybe, not to me. But just enjoy it. I know I am.” He pulled the wad of money from his pocket and gave her a nod. “Let them have their fun. We get

  to eat well.”

  They walked out of the office hand in hand and out to his car, which he’d parked by the curb. He opened the door for her and she climbed in and waited for him to do the same.

  “I thought I’d let you know,” she began as he started the car. “I have a doctor’s appointment next week if you’d like

  to come.”

  “I would love to.”

  “I mean, you don’t have to. I know guys don’t like

  that stuff.”

  “Really? I would love to hear my baby’s heartbeat. Have you ever heard that?” There was wonder in his voice.

  “No.”

  He shook his head as if it were a shame that she’d never heard such a thing, but his eyes lit before he shielded them with his sunglasses, and she knew he’d shared that special moment with someone. “It beats so fast. It’s the most amazing sound.”

  As he drove out of town, she began to feel a little saddened by his statement. No, she’d never heard that sound before, and to think that he had unraveled her.

  Then the fear that she’d missed something took over. The motion of the car had made her nauseous, but this was a wave of sickness unlike anything else. Panic mixed with regret. There was very little she knew about the father of her baby. She

  steadied her hands on her lap and bit down on her lip, which had, begun to quiver. She closed her eyes and thought of Jasmine. Was she pregnant when she died? Was that why he was dealing with everything so much better? Had he missed out on it all?

  There was only one way to find out.

  “So you’ve heard a baby’s heartbeat before? I mean before

  the baby was born?”

  “Sure. They’ll put a monitor on your stomach. Sometimes they’ll do it with one of those ultrasound machines.” He turned and looked at her, and his mouth was turned up into a grand smile. This was something he’d enjoyed immensely. “But it would be great if they did it with the ultrasound. Then we could see the baby.”

  She swallowed hard. He sure had a lot of information. “Gabe, was Jasmine pregnant?”

  He was too quiet and she didn’t like it. Finally, he shook his head. “No. We’d talked about starting a family, but it hadn’t happened yet. She wanted to be a mother more than anything. She had names picked out and careers chosen that she could work from home.” He adjusted in his seat and cleared his throat. “But no. She wasn’t pregnant.”

  “I just thought you knew an awful lot about the process.”

  “Oh.” He let out a little laugh. “Don’t forget the four sisters. Meghan asked me to go to a few of her appointments with her when her husband was out of town.

  Her hands had stopped trembling, but the fact that he’d already been through the process with someone made her sad. She’d never been around anyone who was pregnant. And she’d certainly never been around a baby.

  They had lunch at a little bistro just outside of town, and Gabe took her back to her office. He walked her inside, and she introduced him to a few of her coworkers. He greeted them easily and remembered their names from the party where they’d met.

  Before he left, he kissed her goodbye gently, lingering on her lips just long enough to make her want more. She couldn’t help but wait in the hall and watch him walk away. A peacefulness came over her. There was a great comfort in knowing they could be together and have such a pleasant time. And nothing se
emed to rattle him. He took one day at a time. She admired that about him.

  Above all else, he’d chosen to move on with his life with her. He believed that they’d been brought together by fate. She’d gone to a hotel with him and during their night of passion they’d conceived a child. He thought that was the universe’s way of making sure they were together.

  How could a man who had lost so much remain so optimistic about everything, especially love?

  With the sting of tears in her eyes, Holly put on her smock and went back to work. Why couldn’t she be optimistic about it all? The man made her happy. He made her laugh and look at the world differently. Yet she still had to be the same old Holly and assume she was doing it all wrong.

  They’d eaten the chef’s creations for the last three nights. Afterward, Gabe went back down to the restaurant and Holly went home to work on her presentation. She needed to focus more than she ever had. Suddenly she had too many distractions.

  Whenever she thought of seeing all those faces looking up at her it made her sick to her stomach. Alone in her apartment she’d start to practice her pitch and have to run to the bathroom and get sick. Then there was the factor of her notes. Usually she knew what she was talking about with great confidence. However, it was now as if she couldn’t even keep a thought in her head.

  Friday morning she woke early. Brewed a pot of coffee and turned on her phone. When she saw the text message that came through from Gabe, her entire body resonated with joy .

  You’re going to do great! Knock ’em dead! Love, me.

  Someone other than Tracy was there to root for her, and it put her nerves at ease, a bit. That was until she went to her closet, after her shower, and pulled out her power suit.

  The blouse tugged at the buttons over her tender breasts. And when she tried to zip the skirt, it stopped halfway. She felt lightheaded, and morning sickness wouldn’t begin to de-

  scribe the wave of nausea that raced through her as she looked in the mirror and then down at her body. She wasn’t showing yet. There wasn’t even a hard bump in her stomach, but her entire body had changed composition. Her breasts were starting to swell, and her midsection was tight. Sucking in her stomach did little.

  She realized she was almost through her first trimester and things were going to start getting interesting.

  For now, she had to decide on a new power suit, and it was going to have to have an elastic waist.

  Between her condo and the office she had to roll down the window in her car to get fresh air into her lungs. Three people had honked at her when she’d drifted toward their lanes, and the parking attendant didn’t care which floor she worked on, she needed her parking pass hung in the window of her car or he’d turn her away.

  Holly dragged herself through the office, in her elastic-enhanced skirt, and dumped her armload of designs and presentation materials on her desk.

  Tracy was right behind her. “They showed up early,” she said as she shut the door behind them.

  “Of course they did.”

  “You look out of sorts. Are you okay? You can do this right? This is just the biggest account we’ve ever tried to land.” Tracy walked to her and took her hands.

  “Second-biggest, and I’ve already thrown up three times. If you could please not make me any more nervous than I already am, I would appreciate it.”

  Tracy gave her an agreeing grunt, pulled her back at arm’s length, and looked her over. “What’s with the outfit? Where’s the power suit?”

  Holly narrowed her eyes. “It doesn’t fit anymore, if you must know. It seems my boobs are getting too big, and even though I’m not showing, I can’t zip the skirt.”

  The panic that had plagued Tracy’s face gave way to a

  smile. “That is beautiful.” She kissed her cheek. “I’ll stall for ten minutes. You get your stuff together, sister, and we’ll take over the world.”

  Holly gave her a nod as Tracy left the office. She sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly. She’d been making these presentations to clothing manufacturers since she was nineteen. She could certainly do it pregnant.

  A little surge of power zipped through her. She rested her hands on her stomach and took a moment to appreciate the source of that power.

  “Well, little one. I guess we’re a team now. If you won’t make me sick for the next two hours, I’ll promise we’ll go to your Daddy’s house and cook him dinner tonight.”

  For a moment she wanted to laugh at herself for standing alone in her office talking to herself, but then she reminded herself she wasn’t alone. The one person who had changed her life forever was with her and would be for months to come. And then for the rest of her life.

  It was a moment where panic should have shot through her and dropped her to her knees, but instead, she felt comforted. This baby was offering her more than anyone ever had. She’d been so focused on herself for so many years, and now she had to think of others.

  Without that baby, she wouldn’t have the panic that made her feel human. She wouldn’t have the worry that seemed to attack her on a constant basis. She wouldn’t have made a mess with toilet paper at Chandra’s house, and she wouldn’t have Gabe.

  Again, that surge of power went through her. She had Gabe. They had Gabe. In a few weeks they’d have Gabe forever. The panic returned. But she shook it down. She was going to march into that meeting and take it by storm. Not for her. Not for Tracy. Not even for Gabe, who would probably swing her in the air and kiss her senseless whether she landed the account or not. No, this time it was for the baby who was

  growing inside of her, making her suits too small and causing her to talk to herself.

  Holly gathered her things and headed to the meeting. Before she walked through the door she sent Gabe a text message.

  I’m going in and when I come out I’ll have a signed million-dollar contract and I’ll cook you dinner. She fought with herself for only a moment and then signed the text, Love, me.

  Chapter Eight

  Three hours later Holly emerged victorious from the meeting. The new million-dollar client had asked to work exclusively with her on designs for the following year’s fabrics. Holly was on top of the world.

  When she called Gabe to tell him, he didn’t answer. There were no messages from him either. She blew out a breath of disappointment as she turned off the screen to her cell phone. She’d led herself to believe that he’d call to support her, encourage her, to find out how she did. Well, they both were busy people. She’d never had a man waiting to compliment her on anything, and she’d only be setting herself up for further frustration if she kept checking her phone for messages, even from Gabe. But she was riding high with or without a message from him. She tucked her cell phone into her pocket—but kept her hand on it just in case he’d have a moment to call.

  When her mother showed up just after lunch and wanted to take her shopping for a wedding dress, Holly was still so happy she couldn’t even say no. She took a rare afternoon off and hit the bridal boutiques of Cherry Creek with her mother.

  When Holly stepped out of the dressing room wearing a white chiffon off-the-shoulder dress, her mother covered her mouth and batted her eyes against the tears Holly could see forming. The thought that her mother was actually moved by seeing her in a wedding dress twisted in her stomach. It was a precious moment, and Holly wasn’t sure how to react to the sudden interest her mother was taking in her.

  “Holly, you look beautiful.”

  She stood before the three mirrors on the pedestal and looked at herself. The moment was one she’d dreamed of since childhood, but as a wave of nausea drifted through her, she realized the moment wasn’t as she’d imagined so many years ago. But the fantasy wasn’t marred by the baby. A warmth filled her body, relaxing her muscles, and calming her breath. She was happy, and no matter how backward it had all come about, it was just as sweet because she was going to marry a man who truly cared for her. The saleswoman stood to the side of her. “It’s beautiful.
It has a beautiful bustline, and the full skirt is nice for comfort. Being bunched up in a tight dress all day isn’t something many brides think of when they choose a design.”

  “She’s pregnant, you know,” her mother piped in, her voice raking on Holly’s nerves with the very way the words sounded.

  Holly set her jaw and tried to relax it when the saleswoman nodded. “It’s the perfect dress for the expectant bride. One thing you might want to consider is a corset with a full skirt. This will eliminate a lot of alterations and will allow, again, for maximum comfort.”

  Holly wondered if her mother was disappointed that the woman’s reaction was so passive. Pregnant brides had been around as long as there had been weddings. Perhaps there was no longer cause for alarm. The thought had Holly biting back her grin.

  The saleswoman took a measuring tape from her pocket. “When is your wedding?”

  Holly took a deep breath. “The day after Thanksgiving.” She shook her head. What had they been thinking? Who gets married the day after a huge Thanksgiving feast? Would Gabe even fit into his suit, or tux—she didn’t even know what he’d planned to wear. Either way, comfort was going to be an issue. The full skirt and corset was starting to sound like the right choice.

  The woman made a measurement on the skirt and jotted the numbers on a notepad. “I would suggest holding off on alterations until the week before. I’ll put in a special order for it so they know we need to wait until the last moment. Let me go out and look for the other dress I was thinking of, and you can see if it’s something you’ll be interested in.”