Since nearly half the meeting attendees were either having affairs with one another or contemplating them, the room quickly began breaking up into couples who seemed to be heatedly discussing their planned mergers and acquisitions. Jerry quickly looked to Susan, the sales director for the company, an attractive woman he had noticed a few weeks earlier. He noticed that she seemed to have noticed him; at least, she seemed to go out of her way to be friendly to him whenever they ran into each other.
When he looked over at Susan, he saw what appeared to be a hostile takeover from Quentin, the director of IT, who had a hand on her shoulder as she squirmed uncomfortably. Jerry quickly stepped in, pulled Quentin aside, and suggested to him that perhaps Sally from software might be more interested in his technology. Quentin pushed his thick glasses back up his nose and looked over at Sally. He first noticed her glasses but then glanced down at her mainframe and saw her enticing cleavage. Forgetting all about Susan, Quentin walked over to Sally, who shook his outstretched hand and then pushed him back onto the conference table.
Trying to be as nonchalant as he could amid the chaos, Jerry held out a hand to Susan and said, “You know, we never have been formally introduced. I’m Jerry.”
Demurely holding out her hand and gently grasping Jerry’s, she replied, “Hi, Jerry. I’ve seen you around in the office. I’m Susan.”
“Since I first saw you here, I looked forward to the opportunity to working with you,” Jerry replied.
“Yes, me too,” she said.
Considering that Harold Bodine’s assistant was currently kneeling between his legs with her mouth sliding up and down his erection and that several other couples were now already naked and merging as they spoke, the polite conversation they’d just had could have been interpreted as:
“Hey, I’ve seen you around. Would you like to fu—”
“I thought you’d never ask.”
That said, Susan stood up and began kissing Jerry on the mouth, letting her tongue slide over his lips, inviting him to take over. Jerry slid his tongue into her mouth as he began unbuttoning her blouse, feeling her hands grasping his cock through his pants. When the two finally pulled apart from their kiss a few moments later, they glanced around the room.
Quentin from IT was firmly docking his cock into Sally’s expansion slot, feeling her software gently slide over him. She was humming like a CD drive as Quentin ran his fingers over her, pressing all her keys. Jerry could only smile, seeing how compatible these two were, a perfect integration of hardware and software.
Glancing over to the couple that had started all this, Jen and Benjamin, Jerry watched as Jen knelt between Benjamin’s legs and ever so gently kissed and sucked his balls. Yes, she had definitely confirmed that he did have the balls to support her effort, and she was interested in pursuing them further. By then, even Helen, the heavyset blonde with dark roots from personnel, had joined in as she straddled Benjamin’s face and quickly got very personal with him.
In the middle of the conference table, Jerry watched two accountants bumping and grinding in an inspiring 69 position atop their third-quarter spreadsheets. He had to concede that those two really knew their numbers. And speaking of numbers, it looked like Harold Bodine was locked in a long and intricate-looking daisy chain with most of the remaining staff members, and even old Rutherford had one of the college interns sitting on his lap.
With the boardroom more lively and engaged than Jerry had ever thought possible, he returned his attention to Susan. He quickly pulled off his shirt and then the rest of his clothes as he watched her lean back onto the conference table. Whatever this sales director was selling, Jerry was definitely buying, and so he moved forward and knelt between her legs. He began kissing her soft thighs, but she reached down and pulled his head up to hers. As they kissed, Jerry felt her grasp his erection and gently guide it into her.
She was wet and ready for him as he slowly slid into her, feeling her softness fold over him. Savoring the sensations of her, Jerry moved slowly, easing himself out and then back into her. He began to quicken his pace, thrusting into her and then quickly pulling out, finding a rhythm as his hips moved back and forth. He felt her begin to move with him, raising her hips up to meet each thrust. Her breathing quickened, and they were both getting closer and closer.…
“Ouch.” Jerry felt a sudden jab in his side. He continued his thrust when he felt it again. Opening his eyes, he suddenly found himself looking at a fully clothed Susan sitting in her chair next to him. She moved her elbow and jabbed him once again. Jerry looked across the conference table and saw a fully clothed executive staff looking at him.
He glanced back to Susan as she whispered, “Your presentation? You know: ‘The Company Profile Amid the Mergers and Acquisitions.’” She turned her head toward his presentation board, which was sitting on the easel behind him.
Looking back across the conference table, he said, “Ah, yes, Mergers and Acquisitions.” Nodding to Harold Bodine and then to the surprisingly alert Rutherford Bodine, he went to stand up but felt a tug in his crotch. Glancing down, he saw the sizable tent his erection had made in his pants. Thinking quickly, he gently placed his folder on his lap, sat back down, and simply rolled his chair back next to the presentation board.
Reaching out, he grabbed the pointer from the easel tray and pointed to the board. Smiling confidently, he said, “I think all of us here would have to say that we had a very exciting year last year and—” Glancing over at Susan, he continued, “—I think we can look forward to an even more exciting one this year.”
Looking over at Jen, Jerry said, “If you excuse my language, I must say our marketing was very ballsy, making large strides into the marketplace, and sales”—again looking at Susan—”while starting out soft, firmed up very quickly. We even made great strides in IT with the compatible software system that Sally has developed, and even accounting got together on their numbers. All in all, Mr. Bodine, I am sure you have seen the great benefits we have reaped this year. I simply can’t wait to see what we have in store for next year,” Jerry said, sliding his chair back to the conference table.
“As for mergers and acquisitions, I can happily say that each one of our many mergers and acquisitions was vibrant, virile, and completely satisfying.”
Mr. Bodine then took over the meeting. While the company president made a few final comments to close the meeting, Jerry felt a hand on his knee. It was Susan’s.
“You free for lunch today?” she asked.
Jerry nodded.
“I’ve just got to know what you were daydreaming about before your presentation,” Susan continued.
Jerry smiled and shrugged. “I was just thinking about the usual mergers and acquisitions, but I’ll be happy to tell you about them,” he said.
The meeting then broke up, but Jerry remained in his seat for a few minutes before finally getting up, grabbing his folder and presentation, and walking back to his office.
SWINGERS’ HALLOWEEN MASQUERADE BALL
Frederick Goldsberry
Bright lights, big city. Gwen discovers that there is romance, sex, love, and life after marriage. She discovers the Swingers’ Halloween Masquerade Ball.
The Swingers’ Halloween Masquerade Ball is the best of the swingers’ social dances because average people, when in costume with masks concealing their true identity, and after they have consumed a couple glasses of wine, will do things that they never dreamed they would do.
You’d be surprised what a vixen Samantha, that second-grade teacher from Boston, is when dressed as Snow White. Suddenly, she’s in a circle surrounded by seven naked men, and by the look of the lengths of their aroused appendages, they are not dwarfs. You didn’t know that Samantha fantasized every day for months about having sex with several men at once.
“Follow me,” she says, leading them to the privacy of her hotel room.
“Hi ho, hi ho, off with Snow we go, hi ho, hi ho, hi ho, hi ho, hi ho, hi ho.”
Now, surrounded
by naked men with their erections out and at the ready, this is her fantasy come true. She’s insatiable in her desire to get each one of them off with a hand job and/or a blowjob. Not only does she want to see their desire on their faces and in their eyes, she wants to touch, taste, and smell their desire for her. She wants to control their hunger with her body. She wants them to explode and then she wants to swallow their lust for her.
“You have a nice cock,” she says, stroking him to hardness. “It’s so big. I can’t wait to suck it,” she purrs, looking up at the naked man standing before her while stroking the man next to him. The other five men watch and eagerly await their turn with Snow White.
Soon she will return home alone with only the memory of this evening to satisfy her loneliness until the next swingers’ dance, when she will return without a costume. Perhaps then she will not be as sexually adventurous and true to her fantasy, that is, until she is hidden within the privacy of her hotel room.
“Hi ho, hi ho, off we go with Snow, hi ho, hi ho, hi ho, hi ho, hi ho, hi ho.”
You’d be surprised to know that the woman beneath that buxom blonde is your sweet librarian, Mary, from your hometown. She’s dressed as Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz.
“Are you a good witch or a bad witch?” asks the blonde.
“Oh, I’m not a witch at all! I’m Dorothy from Kansas,” says Mary.
Yeah, we bet you are … Mary, the librarian.
“Well, close your eyes, Dorothy,” says the blonde. “Tap your ruby shoes together three times and think to yourself that there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home … because I’m about to orgasm with you and we’re both going home to Kansas.”
You didn’t know that Mary was bisexual. How could you? Since she was the town’s respectable librarian, no one would suspect she was. You didn’t know she had the hots for that blonde all night while watching her sipping wine dressed as Marilyn Monroe with her husband wearing Joe DiMaggio’s old Yankees baseball uniform. You didn’t know that after they go at one another, Mary and husband, the Tin Man, will retire to Marilyn Monroe’s room with Joe, the Yankee Clipper, where they and their respective husbands will have a wild foursome, and we’re not talking about golf or bridge.
“Batter up, Joe.”
That sexy milkmaid kneeling in the corner giving that man dressed as a Hells Angel biker a blowjob is your sweet and personable school crossing guard, Kathy. Picture her in an orange safety vest and police cap holding a stop sign instead of how she looks now with her long blond braids, short skirt, and low-cut top.
“Got milk?” Or in the case of the Hells Angel, “Dude, do you want to be milked?”
She’s here alone tonight without her husband, who’s watching football while drinking beer before falling asleep in his recliner and thinking that she’s at a Tupperware party.
“Good night, honey. Don’t wait up for me. You know me with Tupperware.”
“Okay, doll. I want to watch a little football before I do all those things you’ve been nagging me about for the past two years, such as changing the lightbulb.”
You’d be surprised if I told you that Kathy will have sex with several men before she must return to her husband and uneventful life as a bored housewife and school crossing guard, that is, until the next swingers’ dance at New Year’s Eve, when she’s coincidentally invited to yet another Tupperware party.
There in the corner dressed as Sonny and Cher are Kevin and Julie. Oh, you remember, they’re at church every Sunday. She conducts Bible study class, and he collects money for the homeless.
“And the beat goes on … I got you, babe.”
You wouldn’t have recognized them had I not pointed them out. I bet you didn’t know that they were swingers. I bet you didn’t know that Julie loves having a much younger man join them during their most intimate moments. I bet you never would’ve guessed that Julie is a screamer when she climaxes and that Kevin gets off seeing his saintly wife tied to the bedposts and blindfolded and watching a young man ravish her naked body.
Here you are at your first swingers’ dance, and it’s the best dance of the year. It’s exciting, isn’t it? How do you like it so far? Are you having fun? This is the Swingers’ Halloween Masquerade Ball. Go ahead, look around the huge room and admire the creative and erotic costumes. Do you see him? There on the dance floor is your mechanic from the Shell station dressed as a pirate, the perfect outfit for someone who gouges you so much to repair your car.
“Ahoy! Captain Jack!”
What about him? Do you recognize him? There in the middle of the dance floor is the real estate agent you worked with to buy your home, cleverly but appropriately disguised in the costume of a bank robber now that you’re painfully aware of how much you overpaid for your house.
“Stick ‘em up! This is a holdup!”
Look, next to him, wearing a judge’s costume, is the lawyer who helped your son when he was arrested for drunk driving.
“Here comes the judge! Here comes the judge!”
Oh, and look! There’s the emergency room nurse, the one who patched up your son after his accident, wearing, of all things, a nurse’s costume.
“Nurse, there’s something wrong with my penis. Can you blow on it and make it bigger?”
Real people like you, swingers, and you never would’ve guessed had you not seen them here with your own eyes. Yet relax. Don’t worry. Even if they recognize you dressed as Papa Smurf covered from head to toe in blue food coloring and your wife dressed as Betty from The Flintstones, you’re safe with their secret, too. So go ahead, enjoy yourself. Get down, get hot, get dirty, and get sexual because you’re among friends—very close friends.
The Swingers’ Halloween Masquerade Ball is the dance that draws the most couples. Last year, three hundred couples attended, and fifty single men and a hundred single women were allowed to participate. Preferably, the activity is geared for couples, but there are some who are looking for a third person for a threesome. Too many single men in attendance is discouraged, as they tend to get out of hand after having a few drinks and the organizers’ first priority is to maintain the safety of their guests.
As a requirement of the city and enforced by the hotel, there’s a policeman at the door and plenty of extra hotel security on duty so that the partygoers don’t get too rowdy. It’s held at a hotel, after all, and the hotel’s management doesn’t want naked people fornicating in the public areas, lobbies, corridors, rest rooms, and stairwells of the hotel. Further, swingers are requested to cover their scantily clad costumed bodies with a coat while walking to and from the function. The hotel doesn’t want their open sexuality imposed on the other patrons of the hotel, who may not share their visually expressed opinions about open sex.
The Swingers’ Halloween Masquerade Ball is a fun way to relax and spend an erotic evening. The donation at the door is $75 for a couple and $60 for single men, and single women are admitted free, for obvious reasons. There are a couple of bars at either end of the large function room that serve wine, beer, and mixed drinks and a huge buffet table that features cold and hot food. The food is included in the admission price, and the drinks are reasonably priced. Generally, men attending a swingers’ dance don’t drink as much as they would if they were attending a sporting event, again for obvious reasons. They don’t want the alcohol to interfere with their performance later. They don’t want to be embarrassed and shunned should they be remembered at the next social event.
“Oh, don’t go with Joe. He drinks too much and can’t maintain an erection.”
Some couples attend just to watch and join in the fun of a masquerade ball but choose not to participate in any of the sexual activities and/or swinging parties that happen after the dance. Some couples attend just to get inspired for their own sexual adventures with one another in the privacy of their hotel rooms later. They get to dress up in costume without fear of someone passing judgment on them because they are inappropriately dressed. Th
is yearly event had been happening a dozen years without G.
Her name was Gwen, but they called her G because that was the reaction men had when they saw her for the first time: “Gee, she’s beautiful. Gee, she’s so hot. Gee, did you see her?”
Stuck in a twenty-year marriage, Gwen was bored and wanted more. With his inattentiveness and verbal abuse, her husband had brainwashed her into thinking that she was unattractive and that no one else would want her but him. She didn’t know that she was beautiful. She didn’t know that she was hot. She didn’t know that she was desired by men and by women. She longed for attention, affection, romance, and love. She felt trapped. She was miserably unhappy and sexually unfulfilled as a wife and as a woman. She and her husband no longer had sex because he was getting it elsewhere.
The soap operas she watched to pass the time ignited a desire in her that burned like a guiding light of what else was out there, and certainly there was another world. She tired of watching the days of her life drift away like so much sand falling through an hourglass. Definitely, she was young and restless. With only one life to live, she wanted to live it as one of the bold and beautiful.
So, much like a character on one of her soap operas on daytime television, she wanted to be romanced, lusted after, desired, and loved. Her life with a man who ignored her was a stark contrast to the lives of those who lived in her television set between 1 p.m. and 4 p.m. every weekday. As her little world turned to the edge of night, she could not wait to search for tomorrow to find out what happens to her favorite characters on General Hospital and to see if the women finally come together with the men they secretly love.
Big Bad Ass Book of Sex Page 18
