Trailer Park Princess

by Steele, Delia

  I kick Carol’s foot as I make my way out the door. Works going to suck today, I smell like dried up Toby. I feel like I smell. Fishy! I could have gone to Rome’s and showered, I probably should have, but I could not face him like this. I am so ashamed of myself. I feel like I am acting like my mother. “Don’t kick me you cunt.” Carol rolls over and digs at the nasty carpet searching for a long dried up beer bottle. She lets out a cough and rolls back over.

  I usually love the ding of the bell over the door but today I don’t want to be here, and I sure as crap don’t want to wait on Ashley. Just like always she makes her way to my section and sits down. Rolling my eyes “What can I get you girls to drink?” they ignore me. It doesn’t really bother me this is our game. They come in, harass me, and I take it because it’s my job. As I turn to walk off I hear them giggle. “Oh waitress, we need 3 strawberry shortcake shakes on a double, chop chop.” rolling my eyes again I write it down and walk off. I hate them I wish they would evaporate. After I make a complete mess of the shake station I manage to get all the drinks back to them. I heard them laughing hard about something while I was behind the counter. I can only guess it’s to make me uncomfortable. That’s her usual M-O. It grates on me today nonetheless, because I have had such a bad night. I cannot work through last night for the life of me. “What is that smell? Oh ewww” Ashley chirps and the girl beside her swats at her. They all double over in a dramatic attempt at getting the attention of every customer in the diner. I set the drinks down on the Formica top “Can I get y’all anything else?” smiling up at me, it’s like I can see the storm brewing in her eyes. I know something harsh and mean is coming and it’s meant to rip me apart, just like tornado in a trailer park. “Tell me Rory was he any good? Did he make you scream his name and claw his shoulders apart?” gulping down the vile rising in my throat and blinking back the tears that threaten to fall. “What are you talking about Ashley?” Did he seriously tell her? Why would he tell her? “Rory I just want to know, Did he made your legs spread and a golden glow shoot out? Did the angels sing for you?” I could just let her ramble and walk off but I have to know, it’s not one of those things you just let go. “Did he tell you?” another round of laughter and she dips her head like she has a huge secre, crooking her finger in a come hither motion. Leaning down I swear my legs are about collapse under me. “No Rory he didn’t tell me but you have that weird stagger to your step and well to be honest” she gets louder so everyone around her can hear “you stink. You smell like day old Padussy” I jerk back eyes wide in shock. “You know like day old Pussy and d…” I stomp my foot and point at her “Shut up Ashley, just shut up talking to me. I know what you meant.” I turn to run to the storage room so I can hide and cry without an audience but I don’t escape before hearing “Not our fault you’re turning into your mother.” I hit the door at full speed and almost knock over Mrs. Riaz. “Sorry” it’s all I can say my heart hurts and my body aches from the earthquake sized convulsions I am having. I cannot believe she said that in front of all those people. Did she really know or did he tell her? I hear the door shut and I am alone. I know Mrs. Riaz loves me, but she doesn’t do well with drama, not even Mando’s.

  I hear the bell again and I know I need to get back to work. The storage door squeaks as it’s opened and I look up through a curtain of hair. I have to blink a few times before I can even tell who it is. “Momma called, you want to talk about it?” it’s the first time I ever heard a normal sentence come from her mouth. “I don’t, but I need to because if I don’t I will die right here in this spot.” Pushing my hair back and wiping my face with a napkin she hands me I tell her the whole story from last night and recall the events of Ashley and the plastic pack. “Do you think he told her Mando? He wouldn’t do that right?” “Dude, the fact you even feel you have to ask that tells me something is eff’ed up. I mean first off, he RAPED you and then his bitch click comes in and attacks you while your guard is down. She knew you couldn’t jack her ass in this place. She doesn’t pull that shiz out side of this tin can.” She is super pissed and her English and Spanish slurs a bit like it does when she has a buzz. “He didn’t rape me Amandolette. He was confused. I love him, I could never say he done that to me. I was there willingly.” I push myself up off the floor and straighten my uniform out. “Whatever, you can sugar coat this all you want to AURORA (eh my whole name now she sounds like me last night) but he had sex with you while you just laid there scared and you said no, it’s that simple. I’m telling Rome, he will bust his damn face in like he deserves.” I don’t even know what to say because technically she’s right. I didn’t want to but I didn’t stop him either. Besides it may have went on like a total of 5 minutes, was that even enough time to say we had sex really? “Hey! Don’t tell Rome, he will go all big brother on him and we have enough problems already. I want to know how last night went.‘Did y’all leave prom together?” Smiling wide, it’s fake, I don’t want to know if they bumped uglies, and an unnatural pang hits me right in the chest. I have to rub my hand across it to soothe, not sure where that come from. “Yea but we just sat on the porch and talked last night. He doesn’t like me that way, I’m totally crushed nevertheless, I don’t get it. I mean HOLA MOFO do you see this?” shaking her butt side to side and rubbing her hands down her hips, I laugh loud at that “I mean I am one fly Chula ok! He is hung up on this other chick despite the fact that she’s unavailable, he no want me.” She says the last part like she is about to cry but it’s all fake and we both know it. “But I thought you said he was and I quote rubbing all up on you and you were going to give him something to run it up in.” I hate when she pokes her lips out in that duck face pose. “Nah, he only grinded into me when he wasn’t paying attention. He was so busy watching you he kept bumping in to me and saying sorry. It’s ok I ended up with Jake’s number and that boy is all about out doing the last guy so he has a lot of work to do. Besides if I am losing a hot piece of man candy, the only chick I want to lose to is you, so it’s all good.” What did she just say? I have to brace myself against a stock shelf so I don’t fall “Lose to me? No No No Mando he doesn’t want me like that, we are just friends seriously.” “Not what he said last night.” it was short simple and full blown truth, and like she was reading my mind “Truth, Rory.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  I can’t believe it’s been a month since prom. It took some time but things are back to normal. Mando never told Rome about that night and Toby got off his high horse, deciding he was in the wrong. Today is a special day so I am starting it off with a smile even if it kills me.

  1 whole year together, wow, I still can’t believe it. It’s beautiful outside, the weather is warm and birds are chirping. It’s just perfect. That 6 a.m. was the sweetest ever. When I heard the ping from my ugly jitterbug want to be cell phone I knew it was Toby it always is.

  -Happy Anniversary Baby I love you more than life, be ready at 7 a.m.

  It’s only a week until Toby graduates. It’s pungent saccharine. Look that one up! ;) He will be so far away and I will be stuck here, but he deserves to wear that purple and gold. I am not worried, we are strong, especially after our epic prom not. I can’t believe it’s only been a month now but that night changed our life. Toby always said he wanted to wait but he was sure our love was as good as a married couple, nothing different but the piece of paper he said. I don’t even look like myself anymore, I don’t feel like myself anymore either, as I stare into the mirror. It’s like magic. MIRROR MIRROR ON THE WALL. Yea right, I opted for a light blue pleated skirt that was just legal length for school, a lilac v-neck fitted tee, and finished it off with the silver sandals embellished in blue and purple stones atop. I finished the look off with some silver hoops a few bangles and this pretty bluish purple flower, pulling back at one side of my hair right above my left ear. I looked adult but chic. I wanted to look nice for our anniversary breakfast. Five minutes after seven we set across from each other at The Diner with a huge stack of never ending flapja
cks, smiling like nerds. To be honest I kind of feel queasy, almost like I may puke day three of this, I may be getting sick.

  Toby looks adorable in his khaki cargos, a baby blue polo to match my skirt, and a pair of leather flip flops. He looks good enough to eat. I can tell he is nervous and I’m not really sure why. “Rory I know it’s not much but I got you a gift and I knew it was perfect when I saw them, so I had to get you one.” His cheeks are bright red and his hands are shaking, he slides the box across the table. I set and stare at the ring box blinking wildly. “It’s not what you think just open it” so I do. It’s nothing major but it’s perfectly me. Picking up my gift I look at it and stretch it out over my hand onto my wrist and I see the words. It’s nothing fancy, it’s better than any high class bracelet you would ever see. I twirl my wrist and admire it. Medium size bright colored bubbles. Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, Indigo and purple in the right order and on the top of it white squares with black letters replace the colored bubbles. “Tobysgirl” with little red hearts on both ends, it instantly became my most prized possession if you don’t count the keyboard Rome gave me on my birthday. I jumped up and gave him the biggest hug. “I love it Toby thank you, it’s perfect”. “It just looked like you Rory, bright and happy with that weird throwback look you tend to love.” And he was right. Today was going to be another one of those epic days in my diary (if I kept one, it would be the entry right after the night Rome saved me) . Toby was in an extra sweet loving mood. We finally made it to school; Toby walked me to homeroom refusing when I told him I was ok alone. Not even 10 minutes after roll was called the door opened and in came the office aid with a huge vase of flowers. As they were brought to my desk I turned bright red and everyone was looking at me. Pulling the card ou,t I started crying as I read it.

  “1 white Rose for our pure and once innocent Love (winky face,lol)” and just like that my tears stopped, innocent my white pasty ass.

  “1Yellow Rose for being my Best friend” all I have for that is Rome’s mine.“1 Pink Rose for being my soul mate” ok so why didn’t he know I wanted to stop? “12 Red Roses- 1 for each month I have loved you” he does love me. I know that much. “1 Stargazer Lily for our star “SAIGE”= our happy place” I agree. “Loving you still” still? Did he ever stop?

  The bell rang and all I could think as I shuffled along to my next class was how perfect my boyfriend seemed from the outside looking in. Within the hour I was surprised again when the door of my class opened and in floated a bouquet of overly huge balloons. They were all shaped like stars, hearts, and music notes. And there were like 10-15 of them it was huge! Again blood red in the face I read the card. “DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU?” Yes just like that, in all caps. Blah!

  I buried my face and laughed at how crazy he was- over the top and crazy, kind of scary crazy. It was hard to move the items around from class to class. I made my way to the lunch room with all the stuff, a random guy from the football team shows up at my side and held out his hands. “Toby told me to find you and make sure your flowers and balloons made it to his truck saf,. You shouldn’t have to tote them all day.” so I handed them off with a smile and pushed through the doors to the lunch room. It was so quiet and at first, I couldn’t figure out why. Once I sat down I realized the entire football team was missing. I looked around in search for Toby or anyone from the team. They must have had a meeting. My mouth hung open, I was about to shove a fry in when I saw i.: Toby walking across the lunchroom smiling from ear to ear with the entire team at his heels. All dressed in black suits with red ties the front few were holding something and they were humming. Needless to say, at first my brows were pulled tight in confusion until….ohhhhhh noooooo!

  Now I want to hide not only my face but my whole body. The entire high school student body was in this room and the staff, no one is moving except the guys. Toby sits down beside me still smiling and each one hands me their items saying “For you Rory” One hands me a pink cupcake, another hands me a starbucks cup, and one hands me a milkshake. I look at Toby confused “I wasn’t sure which favorite you would be in the mood for.” and then they start. They are all signing together and it looks like something from Glee. “ L is for the way you looooook at meeeeee, O is for the only one I seeeee.” and so on. I turn to Toby as the staff breaks out in claps and smack him on the shoulder laughing “I can’t believe you did that.” At least it’s over. Wish I could figure out why I am being so anal about the whole thing, I should be ecstatic. We eat our lunch while the team slowly drifts in after changing and I find they have been allotted a few extra minutes to eat, all of them smiling. The women teachers deemed it fair. The rest of the day went by without any interruptions, till last period anyways. One knock at the door and my face shot up. Not again. In strolled the office aid with nothing but a tiny navy blue box with a lilac ribbon tied around it. He drops it at my desk and walks off. The note simply read “Open when you’re alone.”

  My heart is pounding with the mystery of the box. It’s about the size of a gigi’s cupcake box but it’s wrapped so perfect. The whole ride home Toby smiled when I asked him what was in it and just held my hand tightly, winking every once in a while. He actually stopped to drop me off. I am betting it’s because of the flowers and balloons. He didn’t make a move to help me tote it. Either way, he loves me just not the stupid, rat infested trailer park I called home. Have I said it’s a trashy place, not a nice double wide place. There is no underpinning on them, most on blocks, and at least one window out in them all. As I lay on my bed wrapped in my rubber duckie sheets, (yes they are thrift shop couture, to cute to pass up) I opened the box slowly to make sure and not rip anything. I planned to put all my cards from today in this box and put it up. This would be my savior while we were apart next school year when I needed to feel close to him. Inside the box nestled in safely was an IPod touch in bright bubble gum pink. I flipped it on and searched through it looking at all the songs. They were all attached to one list. Love you and at the end of all the songs there was a file simply named Rory. I plug in headphones and hit play. I gasp when I hear Toby’s voice in my ears.

  RORY, you will never know how much I love you. Since the day I ran you over in the hallway like a big dumb ox, you have held a special place with me. Everything about you was made for me. You fit in my arms perfect. I love when I hug you my chin rest on you head. I love how I can look into your eyes and see what I mean to you without judgment. I have never loved and will never love anyone or anything the way I do you. It’s different. I know you joke, saying as long as you have my little red heart you don’t need a little red corvette but one day these gifts won’t compare. One day you will have your red corvette, you deserve it. Your life has been so hard, but I am grateful for it because it has led you to me. Rory you are my world and I promise to love you forever. I wanted you to have this while I am gone, so you will never forget. Our distance is temporary but we will be together forever, Rory I would die without you. I couldn’t breathe if I had to without you. Nothing in this world is stronger than our love. Trust me. Tobias and Aurora against the world always (his perfect laugh).. Love You baby!

  Punching in the phone to send a text..

  I heart you Toby- happy first year!

  Most Amazing Fabulous Perfect 1st year ever! Sort of, I’m such a girl I swear, confusion blows. So should I let prom go and forgive him completely? My stomach turns and I barely make it to the bathroom. Still smiling I walk out and head to the kitchen, nothing can cloud my night, not even getting sick. That’s until after a few bumps on the front porch Rome walks in with blood dripping from his hairline and his shirt is about ripped to shreds. My heart stops. He walks towards me and I kick into gear. “What the crap happened to you Rome? Are you ok? Who did this?” before I even realize it, I am putting my shoes on. “Woah hold up, Princess, where you going? I need your help.” Dazed and confused “I’m going to kick someone’s ass, that’s where I am going. Someone hurt you and I’m going to run a tire iron through h
is ass for it.” Why is he laughing? “Princess I’m fine. Seriously some douche bag at the bar got a little too fired up when a guy asked his girl to dance. Red couldn’t handle him alone. I jumped in and just happened to kiss an empty beer bottle with my forehead. I am fine, I promise. I just can’t pick the boys up looking like I was gang raped.” I rock back on my butt and stop trying to put my shoes on. “Ok you’re here and you’re safe. SHIT! Don’t scare me, I just died seeing you that way.” I scream at him punching his arm. “Go get the boys and come back here, you’re not staying alone tonight, I need to know your ok. I have to see you breathing or I will be useless tomorrow.” I start cleaning him up and then move to the blankets on the sofa to get it ready for the boys. “Princess I am fine and the boys are too much to drag over here, don’t worry please, I didn’t mean to scare you I really really really am sorry.” I pull my shoes on and start towards the door “Where you going pretty girl?” I look over my shoulder throwing the best no bullshit look I can manage “Home with you! If you won’t stay here, I will stay with you. Thax is at Jamie’s and you need me. And that’s Princess to you buddy.”

  Not sure how jacked up it is it’s my one year with Toby and I lay here curled up in the bed not two feet from a shirtless Rome. He looks rough his ribs are bruised and his left cheek is starting to turn a nasty shade of green. “I may need to sleep on the sofa Rome, I don’t want to hit you in my sleep.” The bed gives as he sits down and he turns to me with a smirk. “Princess you are not sleeping on a couch, we have done this 100 times, you barely move in your sleep and there is no way in hell, I will be this close to you and still be so far away.” I don’t think much of it, I can’t. I just pull the covers up high, tuck them in around my neck, and turn my back to Rome. The bed shifts he snug’s in and buries his head into my hair, as always he keeps his hands to himself. I feel warm, safe, and cherished. I shouldn’t feel this way, it’s mine and Toby’s one year and I am curled up next to Rome. Jacked up? Yes. DO I care? Not he is my best friend.