The Second Time Around

by Rowan McAllister

  “I’m sorry.”

  Russ smiled and kissed him tenderly. “Wasn’t your fault. He was my first love, is all. And I know you’re not the same as him.”

  Jordan grimaced. “I’m not exactly the most stable person to bet on right now either,” he reluctantly admitted. “You said you didn’t want to play games, and we should be honest, so to be fair, I should probably point out to you that I’m all kinds of messed-up right now… if you haven’t already guessed.”

  With a soft smile, Russ kissed his temple. “I know you got a lot to work out. I’ll help if I can, and you let me know if I’m making things worse. Be honest with me. That’s all I ask. I won’t put pressure on you for any promises you can’t make. This is new, and we’ll see where it goes. All I’m asking is that you be all in with me, right here, right now. That’s it, okay?”

  Jordan nodded. He was getting choked up again, like the emotional basket case he was. Being an adult and giving Russ some equally kind assurances in return was apparently beyond him.

  “Come on,” Russ said, rolling out of bed. “Let’s go down and see if there’s anything to eat. I’m starving, and you have to be too.”

  Food was the last thing on Jordan’s mind, but Russ had already donned his jeans, so Jordan reluctantly stood and went in search of his own discarded clothes.

  Chapter Sixteen

  BEFORE DAWN, Russ crept out of his room and down the stairs so he didn’t wake Jordan. They’d gone to bed early after Russ made sure Jordan ate as much as an active grown man should, but they hadn’t slept all of that time. Some of it had been fun, but Jordan tossing with bad dreams for part of the night hadn’t.

  At least getting Jordan to eat hadn’t been as difficult as Russ had feared, so maybe, whatever Jordan’s issue with food was, it had more to do with the stress he was under than anything long-term. Russ had probably been worried over nothing. After all, Jordan’s body certainly didn’t seem to be suffering from any signs of deprivation, beyond that one fainting spell. Jordan was magazine-cover gorgeous from head to toe.

  Phyl wasn’t in the kitchen, but the coffeepot was full and hot. He poured himself a cup and shuffled out to his spot on the front porch. With a groan, he settled into Sean’s rocker and propped his boots on the railing. His leg muscles and pretty much everything else protested the stretch, but he needed to loosen up a bit. He wasn’t as young as he once was, and he hadn’t had an honest-to-God lover—someone he could take his time with and do the job right—in almost three years. Apparently there were a few muscles that working on the ranch and the occasional online date from Dallas just didn’t exercise.

  At the sound of the screen door creaking open, he quickly hid his grin behind his mug.

  “Don’t bother trying to hide it,” Phyl said as she sat down in her rocker. “I’ve seen that look before, and I know full well what it means.”

  “Why, Phyl darlin’, I have no earthly idea what you mean.”

  She rolled her blue-gray eyes and smiled. “Don’t bother trying to work the charm either. It ain’t your forte.”

  With a chuckle, he sipped at his coffee and dropped the innocent act. “You know I’ve been trying to tell you that for years. You’re the one who keeps trying to make me practice so I can charm the donors like you do.”

  “I take it our boy is still asleep?” she asked, changing the subject.

  “He was when I left,” Russ answered, seeing no point in tiptoeing around.

  “I have to tell you, I was a bit surprised, given how you’ve been acting toward him since he got here. I guess I can assume you’ve ironed out your differences?”

  Russ couldn’t stop his smile. “You could say that.”

  She was quiet for a while, but Russ could tell she was working her way up to something, so he sat and sipped his coffee and waited.

  “I know this ain’t really my business,” she began hesitantly. “You’re a grown man, and so is he. But are you sure this is a good idea? That young man has a lot on his plate right now. I don’t think he even knows if he’s coming or going, if you catch my meaning.”

  Russ choked on his coffee at the unintended pun. Wiping his mouth on the back of his hand, he cleared his throat. “I know he’s got problems. I can tell you’re worried about him. But believe it or not, we’ve talked about it. I’m not going to hurt him, Phyl.”

  “It ain’t him I’m worried about.”

  At Russ’s confused frown, Phyl rolled her eyes. “Well, of course I’m a little worried about him. He seems a sweet young man, and he’s obviously hurting.”

  “I distinctly remember you telling me to pull my head out of my ass and be nice to him… and reminding me on several occasions how important his parents’ contributions are to this ranch.”

  “Yeah, and I meant it, but there’s a difference between being kind to a person in need and fallin’ for one,” she huffed. “You forget Sean and I were right here when Isaiah left. I don’t want to see you hurtin’ like that again. You gotta know your happiness means more to me than any donation, always. And you gotta know by now that I know you’re not as tough as you let on. That boy upstairs is gonna leave eventually. This place isn’t where he belongs.”

  “I know,” Russ sighed. “Don’t worry, I know. Isaiah was a surprise. Although looking back, he shouldn’t have been. He had too many dreams for this little part of the world, even if his family was all here. Jordan won’t be. When he figures out what he needs to figure out, I’ll be ready for him to move on.”

  Russ had to smile at the unadulterated skepticism in the look she threw him. “I’m not saying I’ll be happy about it,” he qualified, “but my eyes are open going in this time. This thing is only temporary. And honestly, I think we might just do each other some good in the meantime, so….” He shrugged.

  With a sigh of her own, she pushed herself out of the rocker. “I’ll take your word for it. I’m gonna make breakfast.”

  Jordan shuffled into the kitchen about half an hour later, looking almost as shiny as he had that first week, but even more beautiful in Russ’s old faded jeans and T-shirt.

  “My clothes look good on you,” Russ murmured huskily as he sauntered over and gave him a quick kiss.

  Jordan’s eyes widened and he cast a nervous glance at Phyl, and Russ chuckled.

  “I promised PDAs, didn’t I?”

  Jordan’s return smile was tentative but sweet. Russ couldn’t wait to get him alone in the barn later.

  “You two quit cooing like doves and eat,” Phyl ordered, placing a giant platter of toast, sausage, and bacon on the table. “It’s Sunday, in case you forgot. You got a little time, but after church lets out, we’ll be up to our eyeballs in regulars and newbies all fired up and just bursting to do ‘God’s good works.’ Best fuel up now, while you got the chance.”

  Jordan eyed the platter skeptically, but Russ managed to get him to take a decent portion, plus the eggs Phyl fried, by threatening to feed Jordan one bite at a time from his fingertips, right there in front of Phyl.

  As promised, the crowd of volunteers and visitors flooded in right after Sunday brunch. As a rule, Russ actually enjoyed meeting with prospective adopters, discussing pros and cons, determining if the family would be the right fit for an animal. Seeing his hard work bear fruit as a once neglected or abused animal found its forever home never got old. It was just all the others that severely tested his patience. By the end of every weekend, he was done dealing with the general public and well on his way to needing a quiet sit and a few beers. This Sunday was no exception. Even though parts of him were still happily humming from all that had happened with Jordan, his patience was wearing perilously thin under the heat of the late afternoon sun.

  “We need them…. All of them, every nickel and dime, every bit of exposure on social media, every child that sees the right way to treat an animal,” he repeated under his breath like a mantra as a pair of seemingly unattended screaming and giggling little boys ran by him, spooking the donkeys in their pen.
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  The regular volunteers, Phyl, and now Jordan, were pretty good at wrangling the unruly, but they couldn’t be everywhere at once. These days, with parents paying more attention to their cell phones than their kids, everyone had to be vigilant.

  The shrieking, unattended boys streaked by again, and Russ’s irritation reached the end of its tether. With a growl, he started after them to herd them back to whoever they belonged to, but he wasn’t fast enough to stop them from ducking under the caution ropes around Calliope’s pen, apparently paying no attention to the Stay back! She bites! signs posted on her fence. A jolt of real fear made his temper spike, and he charged after them. The last thing the ranch needed was a lawsuit or their insurance to skyrocket.

  Stepping in between the boys and Calliope, Russ shouted, “Out! Get out! Can’t you read?”

  The boys looked at him in stunned silence for two seconds before screaming and running away from him. He had to duck a swipe from Calliope’s beak, but she still caught a bit of flesh on his shoulder. Swearing under his breath, he glared at the bird, who he knew was laughing at him. Rubbing the spot, he stomped after the boys to give them and their parents a talking-to, but Jordan’s hand on his shoulder, rubbing the sore spot, pulled him up short only a couple of steps beyond the ropes.

  “The day’s almost over. Just a couple of hours and they’ll all be gone,” Jordan murmured. He stepped a little closer and lowered his voice so only Russ could hear, his warm breath ghosting over Russ’s sensitive ear. “And only a couple of hours more before I’m under you in your bed… or over you, or in you, whatever you want.”

  Startled out of his temper, Russ blinked at him as a slow grin spread over Jordan’s face. Jordan moved to saunter away, but Russ gripped his upper arm to stop him. Turning so his back was toward the rest of the yard, he murmured under his breath, “I prefer to be over you so I can keep an eye on you. You’re beautiful all the time, but you’re stunning when you come.”

  Russ was the one to saunter this time, but his tone was a lot more reasonable as he confronted the two boys and their parents and gave them a mini lecture on the dangers even “domesticated” animals could pose to the unwary.

  When he caught Jordan smiling warmly at him from over by the goat pen, Russ couldn’t help but puff up a little. He found himself leading the family back to Calliope’s pen and launching into a speech about all the things he’d learned about ostriches since she’d come to the ranch.

  “Is she up for adoption too?” one of the little boys asked as Russ wound down.

  Russ had seen the little boy’s eyes light up when he’d likened Calliope to a modern-day dinosaur. The horrified look on the boy’s parents’ faces got chuckles out of the small crowd that had assembled while he talked, and Russ laughed too. “Sorry, she’s probably going to stay here with us. She was someone’s adored pet for a very long time, until that person couldn’t take care of her anymore. We don’t think it would be right to send her to a farm now, and not many people would want her at her age. But don’t worry, we’re going to take good care of her, right here, and you can come visit. Just don’t get too close. I speak from experience when I say she can be pretty cranky.”

  Russ headed for the barn immediately after the crowd dispersed, his brief spate of sociability all but petered out. Families were already moving toward their cars. It wouldn’t be long before he had his blessed silence back.

  “That was quite a little lecture you gave out there. I was impressed,” Jordan said, coming up behind him.

  Russ didn’t bother with a verbal response. He grabbed Jordan’s arm and dragged him into an empty stall, out of sight. He swallowed Jordan’s surprised gasp in the hot kiss he’d been dying to plant on him since breakfast. When Russ finally let him go, Jordan swept their immediate vicinity with a nervous glance.

  “What happened to the guy from yesterday who was incensed about inappropriate behavior in front of the kiddies?” Jordan huffed.

  “None of those kiddies are mine, and all we’re doing here is kissing.”

  Jordan licked his lips and eyed Russ hotly. “You’re going to make it very difficult to walk out of here without displaying something very inappropriate in front of those kiddies,” he said, grimacing and adjusting himself in his jeans.

  “I’d offer to help you out, but that probably would only make things worse,” Russ replied with a grin.

  After shooting Russ a mock glare, Jordan smoothed a hand down his neatly tucked T-shirt and blew out a breath. “If you’ve got a room with a locked door around here I haven’t seen, then maybe I’d take you up on that, but since you don’t, and I still need to help Phyl, I’m going to need you to keep your hands and lips to yourself while I make myself presentable again.”

  Russ would have apologized, but he really wasn’t sorry. He’d need a little cooling-off time himself before he was decent for company, but he had selfishly relieved some of the tension from the day, and Jordan didn’t appear to be too upset over it.

  “After dinner—or maybe before, if we can sneak away—I’ll make it up to you,” he promised.

  With a pained groan, Jordan closed his eyes and thunked his head on the wood post closest to him. “Russ,” he whined. “Now that’s all I’m going to be able to think about, and I have families I still need to schmooze.”

  Taking pity on him, Russ stepped out of the stall and headed outside.

  “I’ll go check on Missy and some of the others. We had a couple of families fill out adoption applications today, so I’ll need to make sure the horses they’re interested in are as ready as I can get them. Why don’t you spend a couple minutes with Marina and cool down?” he said on his way.

  Chapter Seventeen

  CONCENTRATING ON charming strangers and spreading the word about the ranch and all the good it did was a challenge when all Jordan wanted was to climb back into Russ’s bed and spend the rest of his life there. Even the wreckage he’d left behind in Virginia didn’t seem so overwhelming while his body and heart were humming with happy hormones. The floodwaters of the tidal wave had receded for the moment, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to look that gift horse in the mouth.

  Was that responsible adulting?

  No.

  Was he going to do it anyway?

  Hells, yeah.

  “Jordan, is that it?” Phyllis called as the last SUV headed up the gravel drive toward the road.

  “I think so.”

  She blew out a breath and shook her head. “Another Sunday over and done with. I think we did well today.”

  “Me too.”

  She put a hand on her lower back, stretched, and groaned. “Will you check all the gates one more time for me, make sure no one forgot to lock up? I’ll go in and get supper ready.”

  She moved slowly toward the house and leaned heavily on the railing as she climbed the steps.

  “Hey, Phyl,” Jordan called.

  “Yeah?”

  “Why don’t you just take it easy? We’ve all had a long day. Russ and I can scrounge something for dinner. You don’t have to cook for us.”

  Even from his short time on the ranch, Jordan expected her to argue, but she smiled tiredly and nodded instead. “Thanks, hon. I could use a little lie-down, I won’t lie.”

  “Do you want us to bring you something later?”

  “That’s sweet, thank you, but I’ll grab something on my way. There’s plenty of leftovers tucked away in the fridge.” She paused for a second as a grin split her face. “I think I’ll spend the rest of the night in my room, so you two enjoy your evenin’, all right?”

  Jordan wasn’t exactly sure if she was talking about what he thought she was talking about, but he felt himself flush anyway. After clearing his throat, he said, “Good night, Phyllis.”

  “Good niiiigghht,” she sang back to him as she opened the screen door and disappeared into the house.

  After inspecting all the pens and making sure everyone had been fed, watered, and settled for the night, he jogged back to
the house and up the stairs to the second floor, taking them two at a time. In the bathroom, he ripped off his sweat-stained, dirty clothes and hopped into the shower for a thorough scrub. If tonight was anything like last night, he needed to make sure every inch of him was clean and ready. His cock throbbed, filling as his mind replayed all that Russ had done, but he resisted the urge to take care of it. If he’d learned anything last night, it was the power of delayed gratification. His one-night stands had been all about the rush to get off—still fun in their own way, but ultimately unsatisfying. Apparently, deep down, he was a romantic… or a sensualist, at the very least.

  “Who knew?”

  His reflection in the bathroom mirror didn’t answer back.

  “Shit,” he swore as he turned this way and that in front of it, frowning.

  His muscle definition was slipping. The ranch worked him hard, so he hadn’t put on any weight, but the six-pack abs and high and tight ass apparently only came from the gym. He’d need to find one soon. Now that he had someone who wanted to be familiar with every inch of him, he couldn’t afford to let himself go.

  Except thoughts of the gym stirred the floodwaters of everything he was trying to avoid. He couldn’t really afford a gym membership now. How far would he have to go to find one? He couldn’t get an extended membership because he didn’t know how long he’d even be here. And even if he went, he’d have to pay for gas. And what about insurance? There was no way he could afford to continue insurance on the convertible.

  Closing his eyes, he gave himself a shake, shoving those thoughts down as far as they would go. He wasn’t ready yet, and somewhere downstairs, a super-hot, horny cowboy was just waiting to rock his night.