Stay

by Julia Barrett

  “What happened then?”

  “You cried. He wrapped you in a blanket and placed you on my stomach. And he left.”

  Lucas turned to her. “He left? He walked out into the blizzard and disappeared?”

  “Yes.”

  “Mom, you didn’t find that odd?”

  “Of course I did. Why do you think I never told anyone?”

  “Why are you telling me now?”

  “I suppose I’m telling you for a few reasons. The first is because you showed up here with no explanation and you refuse to talk about the woman you left behind. The second is because of Nathaniel Henry Neville. The moment I met him I knew the two of you had something in common and whatever it is, you both have it in common with the man who appeared that night. It’s like the scent of your own child, you recognize it.”

  Lucas nodded.

  “But there’s another reason.”

  “What’s that?”

  His mother wrapped her hand around his, about the hand clutching the chunk of gold. “This. You’ve kept it all these years.”

  “You said it was my good luck charm. You found it the night I was born, although finding a…” He slapped his forehead. “I’m an idiot, a perfect idiot. He carried through with his threat to send me back as an infant. Of course you didn’t find a piece of gold lying around. He gave it to you. The archangel gave it to you.”

  His mother paled. “I wouldn’t even dare whisper those words down a well at midnight. How can you…?”

  He interrupted her question. “I can say the words because I know they’re true.”

  Lucas opened his hand. Both of them stared down at the chunk of gold. “He must have told you something about this. The archangel never gives without reason.”

  Lucas knew from firsthand experience he was asking her to accept the impossible, and yet his mother had kept silent all these years. She had to have known the man who’d appeared the night of his birth was more than a man.

  His mother pursed her lips. At last she blew the words out of her mouth all at once. “He said the gold would lead you home. I don’t know what he meant.”

  Lucas burst into laughter. “He always speaks in riddles, Mother. It’s the way he amuses himself.”

  “Son, I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

  Lucas heard the tremor in his mother’s voice. He put an arm around her shoulders. “I understand, Mom. Don’t worry. I came here seeking answers. You had them all along.”

  A peaceful silence fell between them. Through it Lucas heard the buzzing of bees, the song of a robin. A butterfly lighted beside him on the rock. The wings were a lovely pale blue.

  “Will you go back then, to this woman you left behind?”

  “Yes,” he said. “I’m going home.”

  Stay

  amn, will this rain ever stop?

  Sydney had swept out the barn and the tack room, oiled all the tack, checked and rechecked her supplies of grain. Now, hands on hips, she stared out the open barn door wishing, hoping and praying she’d see Lucas’s truck slipping and sliding down that muddy road, making a beeline for her.

  Yeah, right.

  The only thing swirling down the road was wind, wind and more wind.

  He’s not coming, Syd. He’s never coming back. Give it up.

  She rubbed a hand over her growing belly, felt the baby give a reassuring kick in response.

  “That’s okay, bud. We’ll make do.”

  Syd threw on her rain slicker and stomped back to the house. She needed to get the cattle moved up country and this prolonged rainy spell was starting to piss her off. It didn’t help that her mother and father kept postponing their return. She was stuck at the main house watching over the herd instead of returning to her own cabin and maybe putting in a few shifts at the ER.

  Her father had promised to be back in time for haying, but Syd wasn’t convinced he’d show. He didn’t want to leave her mother and her mother wanted to stay in Arizona.

  He’d said years ago he’d turn the ranch over to her eventually. Well, it seemed to Syd he’d already done it in deed if not in fact.

  The phone rang the minute she sat down to pull off her muck boots. “Hang on,” Syd mumbled. Pulling off muck boots while pregnant wasn’t easy. At last she pushed herself off the bench and walked into the kitchen in her bare feet.

  “Hello?

  “Oh, hey, Cass. What’s up?

  “Hold on, I’m having trouble hearing you.” She moved the receiver aside to brush the wet hair away from her ear. “What did you say, Cass?

  “Craig Anderson’s been trying to reach me? Why?

  “No. He’s joking, right?” Syd stared at the ceiling.

  “Shit, Cass. How the hell am I supposed to get my cattle up into the mountains if the slide trail is washed out?

  “No, I can’t truck the entire herd; that would break me. Hauling the bulls up there costs enough as it is.

  “Out of the question, I’m not going to use the gold. The gold stays right where it is.

  “There’s got to be a way to get through.

  “When can you get up to check it out?

  “This weekend?” She shook her head. “I can’t wait that long.

  “No, Cass, I can’t wait.

  “Why not? Because I have to know if it’s possible to repair the trail and the sooner I get a look at it the sooner I can decide what to do.

  “Stop worrying. I won’t do anything stupid. I’ll take a look from my end. If I can’t get there from my end I’ll drive over to Craig’s side.”

  Impatient, Syd tapped her fingers against the countertop. “No problem, I plan to wait until morning anyway. It’s raining too hard right now.

  “Yeah, I’ll call you.

  “Cass… Thanks.”

  Syd hung up the phone. “Of all the times for this to happen…”

  She knew the exact stretch of the trail Craig Anderson was referring to. It was only fifty yards long, but it was a critical fifty yards. It was unthinkable. There had to be a way to reinforce it or dig it out. If the slide trail had really washed away she was screwed.

  Well, it wasn’t called the slide trail for nothing. Her father had dug his way through mud and rocks more than once. If he could do it then by god, so could she.

  The unexpected sound of an engine set her heart to pounding. A surge of hope drew her to the kitchen window, but it was Chuck and Ryan, her two ranch hands, returning from town. She watched the men disappear into the bunkhouse with their bags of groceries. Pale yellow light spilled from their window. It reminded her of Wolf and Lucas.

  Syd’s roving eyes came to rest on the second cabin, the one Lucas had vacated so precipitously. It sat like a black hole in the gloomy afternoon. Just the sight of it sucked all the energy right out of her.

  “Stop it, Syd. You’ll drive yourself crazy. He’s not coming back. And don’t you dare call him.”

  Begging… Reduced to begging, how demeaning.

  The truth was she’d happily beg if she thought it would do any good, but the odds weren’t in her favor. Lucas had made it clear he needed to get away from her, put some distance between them so he could work through this, figure out what he was.

  Not that Syd gave a lick what he was. She’d take him any way she could get him.

  The baby kicked again, reminding her to eat. He was active today. She caressed the foot or the elbow, whatever it was poking against her side.

  This is what hurts the most.

  It was one thing to abandon her; it was another thing entirely to abandon his son.

  Syd felt a familiar lump in her throat, but she gritted her teeth, refusing to burst into tears. Instead she opened the refrigerator door to grab a gallon of milk and a carton of eggs.

  She’d cried enough over both Wolf and Lucas to fill a rain barrel. Screw them. First thing tomorrow she’d check out the slide trail and as soon as she got back she’d start searching for a new manager.

  By god she would make do. What other choic
e did she have?

  Lucas drove as fast as he dared. If the wind hadn’t been so fierce he would have driven through. Instead he was forced to wait out the storm at a truck stop. He would have arrived at the Triple Creek last night. But he couldn’t risk his horse.

  A man may be in a rush to hold the woman he loved, but first he had to see to the safety of his horse.

  In a way it was funny. Oh, Lucas was certain the archangel would be laughing his ass off if the motion wouldn’t crack his marble face.

  When he’d come before as Wolf he’d wanted to be a cowboy. He’d wanted to be a real partner to Sydney. Now he could be. Everything he’d needed to learn about ranching then was second nature to him now.

  He was a cowboy, born and bred. Working a ranch was his life’s blood. Hell, it was his blood.

  But so was Sydney Blake. She pounded through his veins with every beat of his heart. He hoped to god he hadn’t lost her.

  Wouldn’t that be a cruel joke? Lucas wouldn’t put it past the archangel to pull something like that. There was no love lost between the two of them. Never had been, never would be.

  But the archangel and his kind didn’t matter anymore. Syd did. His own son did. And the other children he planned to have with her if, and it was a big if, she was willing to take him back.

  Groveling might do him some good. Lucas gave a self-deprecating snort. Guardians and cowboys had that in common. Neither relished the idea of bowing and scraping to anyone.

  But that was in the past and this was now and now his pride no longer mattered. He’d happily crawl through a big fat pile of steaming manure if that’s what Sydney demanded of him.

  Jesus, he wanted to hold her close. See her smile. Inhale the scent of her hair, kiss her sweet lips. Listen to her moans of pleasure.

  He was eager to see how she looked. She’d be showing more now, ripe and round. He planned to howl the news from the mountain tops. She carried his baby boy, his baby. No more living in the land of denial. He felt incredibly free.

  Lucas didn’t even mind driving the speed limit as he passed through town. He glanced at the sign; thirty miles to go. Thirty miles was nothing when he considered the distance he’d already traveled. Down from heaven on a lightning bolt and back up, down to earth again. The notion brought a smile to his face.

  Heaven wasn’t up there. Heaven waited thirty miles down the road. And Lucas knew she would be a glorious sight.

  Stay

  yd stood at the edge of the mudslide, staring down at the rushing river. The drop was only thirty feet or so, but it might as well be an abyss. The cattle couldn’t get through this area and there was no going around it. She would have to bring heavy equipment up, dig it out, and reinforce the side of the hill, something that probably should have been done years ago.

  Could be worse. If this was national forest land she’d be screwed. She’d have to leave it and haul her cattle around the mudslide, but this was her land so she could mitigate the damage.

  Guess the gold will come in handy after all.

  At least it was hers free and clear. Aside from the few pieces she’d donated, the university had returned every ounce.

  Syd studied the exposed granite face. A few huge boulders had come down with the mud, but the rock wall remained intact. She’d hire an engineer to help stabilize the slope. It could be done.

  A project like this would take the remainder of the summer and the entire fall, maybe longer. Damn. She’d waited one week too long to move the herd. Cass was right. She’d have to haul her cattle up to the summer pastures this year.

  It would be a hell of a lot easier if she had someone by her side, as in someone like Lucas.

  Yeah, and maybe a naked man would fall from the sky; land right at her feet. When pigs fly.

  Syd shook her head. “Who did you think you were fooling? You hoped he’d feel sorry for you and come back, even if it was for a single week. Idiot, you’re such an idiot.” She spun on her heels, intending to hike back to the truck. As she did, movement caught her eye. A dark shape, no, two dark shapes moved across the top of the hill and vanished from view.

  “What the hell?” Syd recognized the animals. It wasn’t a bear and her cub, which is what she would expect to see up here. It was that bitch cow, seven-eighty-one, and her bull calf.

  “What on earth is she doing up here?”

  Syd hurried to the pickup. She tossed her cell phone onto the console. There was no service up in the high country anyway and she didn’t want to lose it.

  She set off in the direction of the hill, tracking the cow. If that cow could find a way up and over the hill so could she. It might be possible to drive the herd around the backside. Besides, she had to know where that cow had got to. Somebody was going to have to come get her and haul her back to the ranch.

  Chasing after seven-eighty-one again… How ironic. Syd felt a stab of regret deep in her soul. She should have accepted Lucas as he was, forgotten about Wolf. He’d left because of her unreasonable expectations.

  Seven-eighty-one… What a bittersweet déjà vu this quest was turning out to be.

  Eager as a kid in a candy store, Lucas leapt over the three steps and threw open the front door. “Syd, Syd, you here?” He ripped his hat from his head and strode through the house, his boots clomping on the hardwood floor. “Syd?” He could tell by the way his voice bounced back there was no other living presence in the house.

  He glanced out the kitchen window. Her truck was gone. Shit. He’d missed her. She’d probably gone into town now that the storms had passed.

  Damn, man, you’re late. You should have been here last night. Lucas grinned. And if you had been you’d still be in bed with her. If she isn’t too pissed off, that is.

  It was one thing to know Sydney Blake from his perspective as Lucas; it was another thing entirely to see her through Wolf’s eyes. He remembered the way he’d used his brand new body to make love with her for the first time.

  It made him hungry as a bear.

  “So you’ve come back, huh.”

  Lucas spun on his heels. It was Cass. “I’m back.”

  “You here to stay?” The sheriff might seem gruff, but Lucas knew the man looked after Syd as if she was his own daughter.

  “I’m here to stay, if she’ll have me.”

  “If she’ll have you, eh? Good. Then do your job. These heavy rains caused some problems. Syd’s up at the start of the slide trail right now assessing the damage.”

  Alarm bells sounded in Lucas’s head. “By herself? You let her drive up there by herself?”

  Cass shrugged. “It’s her ranch. She refused to wait for me, but she’s been up there a long time and there’s no cell phone service.”

  “Why the hell aren’t you up there now?”

  Cass grinned. “Because you’re here. Get going, asshole.”

  Lucas pushed past him. “Give me a hand, then. I need to get my horse unloaded and unhitch the trailer. That fool woman’s already in trouble. Of that I have no doubt.”

  “Where the hell did she go?” Syd had followed a game trail along the backside of the granite face. Now she scanned a deep ravine, searching for any sign of the cow and her calf. Water flowed through a narrow drainage at the bottom, but not much, nothing the cattle couldn’t wade across.

  Syd studied the terrain with interest. If she could clear out some of the brush she could push cattle through here and rejoin the main trail in a another hundred yards or so.

  But she wanted to make certain she could get all the way around the washed out section. She didn’t want to get stuck back here with close to five hundred cows and calves. Of course she could divide them up, drive them in smaller groups, the cows with the oldest calves first.

  That was the way to go. That might work.

  Syd skirted a jumble of boulders, careful of her footing. It would be easy to end up at the bottom if she didn’t watch herself.

  Big movement caught Syd’s eye. “Ha. There’s that stupid cow.” She was heade
d up the far side of the ravine, her calf trailing in her wake. Syd watched for a few moments, wanting to be certain the calf could scale the hill. He seemed to have no trouble keeping up with his mother.

  “This looks promising.”

  She decided to follow, hoping to find a navigable way back to the main trail. She patted her belly. “C’mon, baby. If they can do it, so can we.”

  She took one more cautious step along the side of the hill. Apparently that was one too many. The saturated soil gave way beneath her boot.

  Syd didn’t even have time to let out a shriek. She wrapped one hand around her abdomen to protect her child while she grabbed for a tree trunk with the other. Yelping in pain, she let go. Grabbing the tree may have slowed her slide, but the desperate move had also dislocated her shoulder.

  Syd dug her heels into the loose earth with all her strength; she had to protect her baby. She needed to do her damnedest to stay on her back in order to keep him safe. Halfway down the slope, she ground her way to a halt.

  Her head in the mud, cradling both her baby and her useless arm, Syd stared at the sky through a canopy of quaking aspens. Tears filled her eyes. It wasn’t the pain in her shoulder, the pain was nothing. It was the fact that she’d endangered her child. And now she worried about shock. Shock would drop her blood pressure and could hurt her baby.

  She swiped at her wet cheeks with a filthy hand. “I’m a rotten mother, a rotten, horrible mother.” Syd choked back a sob. “I can’t do this alone. I can’t run this ranch by myself no matter how hard I pretend.”

  She lay still for a long time, willing the pain to subside, waiting for the dizziness to pass.

  At last Syd tilted her head back to see how far she’d fallen. If she hadn’t dislocated her shoulder she could crawl up on her hands and knees, but under the circumstances crawling on all fours was impossible.

  There was no way she could stay where she was. Cass would find her eventually, but eventually wasn’t acceptable. Eventually wouldn’t keep her baby safe.