Trigger (Pericolo #3)

by Kirsty-Anne Still

  “Still doesn’t answer that all-important question,” he mutters, stepping forward so he’s now in the front yard. “Do you really think I’d let you leave this easily?”

  “You made your choice,” I tell him, finally finding the strength to command my voice. “You threw me out. You told me what we had was ended. So yes, I do believe you’ll let me leave this easily.”

  I don’t leave the shelter of my front porch. It may not be perfect, but it shields me from the pouring rain. I’ll stand here until my cab arrives, and Dante can watch me leave. He’ll see that I’m leaving everything I own bar a few belongings to make this getaway easier.

  “You’d be wrong,” he speaks, holding strong. “Because I let you go two too many times, and I can’t do it again.”

  “What do you really want, Dante?” I ask him, calling out as the rain starts to harden. “If it’s to reap your revenge, then do it.”

  “I’m not here for that,” he states, and I hear the way his tone breaks. “But I am here for you!”

  I roll my eyes. Great.

  “I still don’t know why you had to fall for me because I am the worse possible person you could have decided to feel a damn thing for!” He pauses, putting his arms out as if to add emphasis. “I’m a cunt, Ryleigh. I admit it. It’s something I’ve never really hidden, but you seemed to like that.” He pauses again, finding this harder by the second. “Fuck!” he swears, his hands thrown up to come crashing down on his head. “Fuck, you make me feel things that, quite honestly, fucking terrify the actual life out of me.”

  I scoff, disbelieving him right now.

  "I don't know what you're doing to me, but please, whatever else you do, don't stop." That’s the first time I actually stop and really listen with bated breath. “I thought my life was fulfilled before I met you. I had a purpose, a reason to wake up every day, but you came along and you turned every notion I lived by on its head. You stripped me of every power I ever held and became immune to me. You were meant to cross my path for a reason, and it wasn’t for me to break you, Ryleigh. I see that now.”

  He doesn’t move as he speaks, just allows the rain to seep further into him, stretching its way deep and chilling his bones. It doesn’t matter how the rain pours; his fight doesn’t dwindle.

  “I never believed much in God. Why would I?” he asks me across the space between us. “He took everything I loved and gave me this as a life. But then he sent me you, and suddenly, I felt that maybe I was graced with my one true savior.”

  I remain silent and at a distance.

  “I found this new lease on life, this new reason,” he admits, “and I ignored what she was to me. I ignored that you were the woman I had actually fallen for. I ignored everything you were in order to look after myself, and I ignored that with you by my side, I could no longer do that. I finally wasn’t just fighting for my life, but yours as well.”

  A horn sounds, breaking the sentimental moment, and I watch as a car drives up the street. The cab arrives and I finally take my steps forward. I feel the nerves bursting in my veins, but I can’t stay here. We aren’t a product ready for a forever state, and that’s all I wanted in this life. Suddenly, the ace of hearts that still resides in my purse starts to burn in remembrance – he pledged his life to me. I don’t know what that means, but I don’t pay enough attention. Instead, I grab my suitcase and start to make my way toward him, preparing to bypass his desperate body and get into that cab.

  “Ryleigh, please,” he pleads as I close the gap between us. He even approaches me, hands coming out, but I fight him off the best I can. “Just stop!” he roars, grabbing onto me. “I let you get in that cab and I will spend the rest of my life hunting you down, Ryleigh. Please, don’t let me become the man who loses the biggest piece of him.”

  “You don’t get to destroy me like you did,” I say in disdain. “Give me one final kiss and send me on the way with a fucking threat and come back to me giving me this spiel. I would’ve listened quite easily at any point over the last few weeks, but now...” I trail off, shaking my head as utter dismay creeps its greedy way into my system. I let out a growl of frustration. “Beg harder, bastard!”

  I know I should leave, but that tiny glimmer of hope will never leave me no matter how catastrophic the reaction.

  “Put this down,” he says, forcing me to let go of the handle for my suitcase. “Just stop. Just listen. Just...”

  I finally break.

  “You infuriate me!” I scream at him, and my lungs burn at the exertion. I successfully cut him off and he gulps at the threat of what’s to come, but he heeds and listens intently. “I fell in love with you and you cast me aside time and time again. It didn’t matter what I did, I was still easily forgotten or left behind.” Now, my tears begin to fall, thankfully masked by the rain. “I have never said to anyone I could love them in any capacity, Dante. You were my first and the scar you left on me shows that you’ll be my last... I told you I could learn to love you. I handed myself to you, and what did you do?” I ask him, the trickle of tear rolls down my cheek. “You threw me aside and made me realize that it’s me who’s the issue.”

  “It’s not you,” he argues.

  “Liar!” I say, pushing him backward. “How can you say that?” I can feel my face screwing up as I scrutinize him. “I was the one who fucked up with that little admittance to you at the club. I was the one to destroy something so new to both of us. If I hadn’t said a damn word, I wouldn’t have ruined anything. I was the one to ruin this, Dante. This, what is happening now, is a result of my actions.”

  “No, it isn’t!” he argues, finding a fresh voice. “I was an ignorant bastard. If I had just been man enough about the entire situation, I would never have left that night. I would never have become the Dante I am to every other fucker to you. I’d have fucked you senseless and shown you that you didn’t need to learn because you were already doing it. You already loved me right.”

  I allow a growl of frustration to leave me; it becomes almost guttural as it unravels in my throat yet reverberates down my chest. This man – this beautiful beast of a man – is the most frustrating person I have ever met, but apparently, he sees me as his female comparison.

  “Sometimes, I just want to kick you in the fucking balls so you feel even just a minuscule amount of the pain you’ve put me through!”

  “Then do it,” he reacts, albeit dryly. “Kick me in the balls,” he offers, putting his arms out to leave himself open. “Kick me as hard as you fucking want.”

  So, I obey.

  I go up to him. Shaking my head, I allow him to think I’m not that mean. I place my hands around his face, moving one hand to sit on the back of his neck while the other drops down onto his shoulder. I pull him close, and I stroke my lips across his, giving him a tease of a kiss. With my hands on his shoulders, my lips starting to trail across his skin, and I’m able to lure him into a false sense of security.

  “Like this?” I whisper, tightening my grasp to bring my knee up to meet his groin with hard, fast force.

  I hear the wind forced from his lungs as he falls against me, but my hands come up to frame his jaw before I allow him to fall to his knees on the ground in front of me. I take a step back, watching him cower in pain and I smirk a little. As the rain begins to lessen, I fold my arms across my chest and wait for Dante to get a kick of life back into him. I look up and see my cab driver staring at me in absolute horror. I hold my hand up, asking him to wait one moment. I even toss him a smile to show I’m not a complete fucking maniac.

  “You were sent here for me,” Dante admits, recovering. While I can hear the hoarseness in his voice, I can also depict the conviction with which he chooses to speak. He stands up; reclaiming the trail of fight that distracted him. “Fate chose you for me, Ryleigh.” His eyes, while woeful, meet mine with an incredulous amount of awe and compassion. “I’m sorry for everything I said. I’m sorry for choosing to be an absolute cunt and not hearing you out. I’m sorry for the way
I put my hands on you. I’m sorry for treating you like the enemy when you’re the furthest thing from it.”

  “What is it you want from me, Dante?” I ask him, going the simple route. “Like truthfully because right now is do or die. What you say now has the ability to either force me into that cab to leave forever, or it has the power to make me stay.”

  I watch the look in Dante’s eyes change. His harsh brown orbs become gentler as they watch me. His entire body goes slack as he gives into the defeat of the moment and prepares for his final fight.

  “Truthfully?”

  I nod.

  “I want that garden on the rooftop to be yours, Ryleigh. I want you to be mine, solely mine.” He breathes heavily, and he’s shaking some with the nerves he’s feeling. “I want to wake up to you every morning and know that you’re there because you love me, not out of obligation to me.” He comes closer, bringing a hand up to my face. “I want you to be by my side to see greatness happen and know it would never happen without you.” He then lowers his head so our foreheads touch. “I want to right everything that went wrong in your life, including my inability to allow you to breathe a new life into me.”

  “You’re starting to sound like a real romantic, Dante,” I mock him, unable to fully give into the sincerity of the moment. “What am I doing to you?”

  “Changing me,” he admits, his words slice the calming rain, as he finally stands straighter. “For the utmost better.”

  I try to steady my breathing, but my heart rate begins to race at such an immeasurable speed that I know I’m going to lose all functionality of my mind and body. I struggle to grapple for calmness, but I’m losing here. While I’m angry – raging even – at him for his treatment of me, I know Dante Valentino is not a man who begs for forgiveness ever.

  I definitely broke this man.

  “So what will we be?”

  “I don’t know what we’ll be exactly, but I do know we’ll be anything but ordinary,” he tells me, his hand framing my face. Even with the rain still falling, he keeps me standing here confessing everything to me within the melody of rain. “We could be spectacular. You and me, Ryleigh, we’re after the same things. I know that now. It’s why I could never break you.”

  The lump forms back in my throat. “But you did.”

  “No, I broke your heart,” he corrects me. “But I can fix that. I can work my entire life to piece your heart back together, but what I really wanted was to break you,” he states, pausing as regret swirls into his eyes. “I wanted to break your spirit and make you incapable to live on, but I can’t do that when you and I are truly cut from the same cloth. I see it now. I know why you were always only ever meant to rival me.” His hands continue to frame my face, his eyes matching mine. “Please, don’t let me be too late.” Then, for the first time since seeing him through the crowds months ago, I see true remorse on his face. It’s aimed at me. For once, Dante has aimed that softer, nurturing side of him at me and no one else. “Please?”

  It hits me quite forcefully that I really did break him.

  “I need you in this life, Ryleigh, because just like a game of chess, the queen always protects the king.”

  “Sometimes the king sacrifices the queen in order to win,” I reiterate, still not giving in to him so easily.

  He laughs; clearly, my fragile innocence still delights him.

  “Not in this game,” he admits, his honesty resounding in each syllable. “There is not one day I want to live without you. I see that clearly.” He watches me, waiting for me to react, but when I don’t respond negatively, he continues. “Destiny is a dance with fate. Some days you have to choose to fight it, and others you have to go with the rhythm. When I met you, I decided to dance with you.” His eyes become downcast, and I watch as he battles with his better judgment. “I thought maybe I didn’t need a woman by my side, but apparently, I just hadn’t found her... until there was you.”

  I cease to breathe. While he still looks confused over his words, I remain silent. I don’t want to see too much into this but, at this moment, with all his other admissions, I know I can hope. I don’t want to believe too strongly in his words, but every girl wants to hear she’s the sole reason for a man to survive, right?

  “What now?” I ask, my words spoken softly as he finally lets me go. “Where do we go now?”

  “Anywhere we like,” he snaps, his voice lowering. “But I have other ideas first.”

  Again, his hands come to cradle my face. Slowly, but then all at once, he starts to kiss me, and my world begins to spin back on its axis. His hands graze my face, keeping me well in place, waiting for me to relax and respond. Unhurriedly, I allow myself to fall for him all over again, giving in to the kiss he plies me with. It’s not one of the greediest of kisses or that of much power, but it makes me feel like he’s kissing me for the very first and the very last time – he’s remembering this one.

  “I thought I fell in love with you slowly, Ryleigh, but now I know what it is I feel, and I know I fell in love all at once.”

  My eyes water and I bow my head at the enormity of this emotional weight. I want to resist him, make him work, but again, I’m still that naïve girl who’s foolishly fallen in love.

  “What am I doing?” I whisper, closing my eyes as I breathe one final admittance. “It's irresistible to allow you to hurt me.”

  “We burn, cara,” he whispers to me. “That’s why it hurts. It’s why we understand each other. It’s why we’re so passionate, so able to give to the other.”

  I thought, at first, that I was using Dante and his link to my family. But I am actually here because, for once, I know what my other half looks like. I feel complete. The wholeness he makes me feel is overwhelming and it shreds my battle plan to pieces.

  I don’t care who Dante’s family is; Ijust care who he loves and that it’s me. For once, I’m the one chosen.

  For once, in my life, I feel loved.

  “There are a few things I need you to understand before I turn that cab driver away and take you to mine,” he says, uttering the words low. “You need to understand that I can’t just walk away from any obligations,” he states, his voice regretful. “I have set something in motion that I can’t stop until I see it end.” He breathes steadily watching me intently. “I now realize that it involves you, Ryleigh.”

  That file, my thoughts whisper, and I brace myself.

  “I need to know you can handle this,” he tells me, a plea in his voice. “I can’t let you go, but selfishly, that means pulling you in deeper.”

  “What exactly are you pulling me into?”

  “Something far more dangerous,” he warns. “It has to do with our pasts.”

  “Let’s do it,” I breathe without a moment’s hesitation. The way he said ours – joint, merged, and singular – made the decision easier for me. “It was made for us.”

  “What is?” he suddenly asks, confused.

  “The real dark side,” I tell him. I’m grinning so wickedly, I feel my demons howl in delight. “You asked me once before if I wanted to join the dark side.” I pause, watching his face try to battle the confusion. “Now, I want to rule it.” I close the gap between us, ready to seal this deal. “I want to rule it with you.”

  My response, while still laced with uncertainty, causes Dante to break into a smile. He looks at me, as I feel devilish at what’s transpiring, and just grins so brightly.

  “I fucking love you, Ryleigh Turner. I never loved like this, but I promise you now, I’ll make sure you reap revenge on every bastard that had a hand in destroying your life.”

  “Don’t write it all off,” I say, halting him from saying anything else. “They had a hand in us meeting.” I bring myself closer, feeling extremely turned on after his admittance and the true nature of our relationship coming to light. “They had a hand in what’s about to come back to them.”

  I know we have a lot to discuss, but finally, being on the same page and the same level as this man makes it ea
sier to love him.

  “This is why you’ll only ever be my queen.”

  As his lips meet mine, my anger melts away just as the world does.

  Revenge never tasted sweeter than on the lips of lovers.

  17DANTE

  I woke in disbelief – if anyone would believe it.

  Disbelief was all I could describe it as– I was disbelieving that she could love me so much she forgave me. I was disbelieving that our lives so perfectly matched. I disbelieved that I imagined a freer future – with a woman.

  I wasn’t a man who reaped many rewards, but the moment that Ryleigh stepped into my life, I hit the jackpot. I had prayed for years that it would happen, but I just panicked that the devil would hear my litany before God did. I’m still not sure who heard me first. Ryleigh is an anomaly in this world – full of goodness, yet beholds a reserve of corruption.

  As she moves, shifting in her sleep, I watch as she turns more toward me, her body facing me. My eyes travel up her body, and I catch sight of the light bruising around her neck. I feel the anger pit itself in the bottom of my stomach. I might have killed the fucker, but I owed him a great deal of gratitude – without his perverse way with my girl, I would never have started to cave to the feelings I feared.

  My girl.

  The notion causes me to laugh in yet more disbelief. I had spent my entire life fighting many battles, winning with no reward, but finally, I had the greatest reward sleeping beside me. I knew the fight wasn’t over, especially where she was concerned. I still had a lot to make up for and a lot to tell her.

  Her arm moves, her hand coming to sit just beneath the pillow. I catch sight of the grisly purpling that paints her wrist, and I hate myself for ever touching her like that. I let anger rule me so vehemently that I intentionally hurt her. In quick flashing succession, the events of this evening come into view in the back of my mind. That moment she hit the floor with brute force lashes at me and I wince. How this girl forgave me enough not to get in that cab is beyond me, but I cherish her more for the second chance.