Uriel's Descent (Ubiquity #1)

by Allyson Lindt

  She nodded in agreement, not sure she trusted herself to speak. After a minute or two, they broke apart to rinse the soap away, turn off the water, and then step from the shower. He brushed the droplets from her skin with a fluffy towel, each touch gentle. She didn’t interrupt the attention or speak. She wanted the moment as it was.

  When they were dry, she urged him toward the bed. “You’re not going to make me sleep alone, are you?” She winced at the trace of hurt and panic in her question. That was supposed to be seductive.

  “I’m not.” He lay down and tugged her next to him, guiding her head to rest on his shoulder.

  *

  Michael heard the trace of hurt when Ronnie asked if she had to sleep alone. He couldn’t have told her no even if she didn’t look wounded by the possibility of rejection.

  He lay there, listening to her breathing until it became steady, and she drifted off. He suspected sleep would elude him tonight. This was why he didn’t want to let her get close. Now, he didn’t want to let her go. He wasn’t sure if he’d been created to fall hard and fast, though two times over the course of his lifetime hardly seemed like a habit.

  But the impulse with Ronnie was almost overwhelming. To keep her safe. To take her away from all this. To stop playing the stupid games Lucifer and Gabriel did, and go experience a mortal life. Maybe Ronnie would stay by his side. Maybe they wouldn’t last. Her joy for living made him want to see more the way she did.

  When he saw her fighting Ariel, a dangerous question teased him. If it came down to it, would he let the rest of the world burn to save Ronnie? He would have for Metatron. Not directly, but his falling would leave the world to fend for itself. It was the kind of selfish decision he would have leaped on back then, but couldn’t allow himself to now. He couldn’t give himself to someone completely—not the way love deserved—and guarantee he could still do his job.

  He lay there until light crept through the windows, burning the night into his memories. Saving it for the wonder it was. Knowing it couldn’t happen again. He untangled himself from the sleeping demon curled up against his side and then pulled some clothes on before making his way toward the kitchen.

  He padded to the fridge, grabbed the juice, and then slammed back what was left. He tossed the empty carton in the trash, rehearsing what he had to say to her, or trying to find a script at least. Everything inside was raw, and he couldn’t numb any of it.

  The kitchen door squeaked, and he swiveled toward it.

  Ronnie stared back, cheeks bright pink. She had found one of his clean shirts, and it hung halfway down her thighs, taunting his imagination. As the seconds ticked away, neither spoke.

  Ronnie finally cleared her throat. “Can we talk?”

  He nodded. Never good words, but one of them needed to say them.

  She gave him a tiny smile and slid onto a stool on the other side of the breakfast bar.

  Michael watched her, not having any idea what to say or how to say it.

  “I’m— It’s just… I want to ask you something, but only if you promise to be completely honest with me. Give me a straight answer. I’ll know if you don’t.”

  Honest. He could do that. It would hurt, but it was the right way to go about things. “Only if I get the same in return.” He stepped to the bar and slid his hand across the granite to cover her fingers.

  She smiled. “Sounds reasonable.”

  He traced tiny circles over her skin, marveling at how delicate her fingers were. It was time to ease off the intimate contact, but it wasn’t as if it would hurt less stopping now or five minutes from now. “I promise. Straight answer.”

  “Doyoustill loveher?” Ronnie’s question tumbled out so quickly the words ran together. “I mean, you promised to be honest, and I need to know. If Metatron was here instead of me, would you give her another try?”

  Michael opened his mouth to say no.

  She cut him off. “You can’t answer so quickly. I know how she feels about you. I don’t care if the answer is yes or no. I mean I do, but regardless, I’m not going to believe you unless you’ve put some thought into it.”

  It was a reasonable request, and something he’d already put so much thought into. Still, her question tugged at things he tried for centuries to hide from himself. Thoughts and emotions spun in his mind, mingling with memories, feeling old and distant. “I wouldn’t give her another try. She’s in my past.”

  Ronnie’s aura flared and fractured for a moment, but the gold and red won out, her shoulders relaxed. “What did you want to tell me?”

  He didn’t want to do this, especially with the tentative calm between them. But even as the bright morning poured through the windows, chasing away last night’s shadows, he knew it was the right decision. It had better be, as much as it ached. “I know we said this last night, but it’s important we both agree, and I’m sorry I have to do this.”

  “Okay?”

  He forced iced through his veins, but it didn’t numb the sting of what he had to say. “I can’t walk the line between serving Him, and loving someone else. Some agents can. I’m not one of them.”

  She clenched her jaw, and her nostrils flared. “I never asked you for eternity, or even next week. I’m just trying to figure out where we stand.”

  “And I’m telling you. There’s a chasm between us, and it has to stay that way.” He forced an edge into his words despite the tear it left inside him to say them.

  She nodded, eyes hard. “You were willing to surrender immortality for her, but you’re going to strip away the one night we had together. And you insist she’s in the past?”

  “That’s not what I’m saying.” Damn it, he hated being so bad with words.

  “Then explain it to me. Make me understand. I so desperately want to. I don’t think you have any idea how nice it would be if something, anything, made sense.”

  He summoned his decision from the sleepless night of pondering. “This isn’t about her, or you, or me, or any one of us individually. Angels keeping cherubs to make themselves untouchable? Not falling when they should? That dead angels can be stuffed back inside someone else and given new life? It’s bigger than anything since Lucifer walked away from heaven to do things his own way. I don’t want to reach a point where protecting you means putting the interests of the rest of the world aside. Some angels can balance duty and love. I can’t.”

  “I don’t need you looking out for me.” She turned away. “I just wanted an untarnished memory I knew was my own and to know where we stood. Thank you for that at least.” The kitchen door swung shut behind her as she pushed out of the room.

  He knew this was the right thing to do, but that didn’t make the ache in his chest fade.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Michael checked the attitude at the gates to hell when he went to visit Lucifer. He didn’t grovel to anyone, but he needed a favor. He knocked on the heavy oak door, feeling enough of Lucifer in the air to know he’d get a response.

  The door swung open, and Lucifer sat at the desk. He nodded to the chair across from him. “You’re spending a lot of time here lately. Thinking of switching sides?”

  Michael raised his brows at the bad joke. “We both know I wouldn’t last a day playing by hell’s rules.”

  “It’s true. Thousands of years old and never learned how to lie. I don’t get that.”

  “I don’t suppose you would.” Speaking of, Michael needed to cut to the chase. The sooner he did this, the better. “I need a favor.”

  “Just like that? No foreplay? You’re not even going to buy me dinner? Tell me you at least showed Ronnie a better time last night.”

  The memories slammed back into Michael like a freight train, assaulting him with both physical and emotional sensations. He struggled to keep his face impassive. “That’s between her and me.”

  “Yeah, yeah. A gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell. And I don’t want details. Your response tells me all I need. You couldn’t keep your hands to yourself.” Anger cr
ept into Lucifer’s voice. “I had one request. A simple, simple thing I asked for, and that was for you walk away from her. And you’ve got the nerve to come in here and ask for a favor when you couldn’t even give me that?”

  The rage might have made someone else back down. Michael recognized the shift in the air, the glow in Lucifer’s eyes, the rumble in his voice. Michael wasn’t fazed. “This is bigger than a single demon.”

  “So’s she.” Lucifer’s response rattled the walls. “And some little Gabriel prodigy almost took her out last night. I’m grateful you were there, but I have to wonder if you had backed off when I asked, would this have happened before she figured things out on her own?”

  “We don’t deal in hypotheticals,” Michael said. “So we won’t talk about how this is close to driving Ronnie into isolation and insanity, and how maybe if someone helped her sooner…”

  He shook his head. Lucifer was distracting him, and he wouldn’t let that happen. “That meltdown last night is why I’m here. Gabriel has more of those. Angels with cherubs working outside the confines of Ubiquity. Ariel won’t be the last, and we need to step in at Ubiquity.”

  “This from a guy who’s been all about going it solo for centuries.”

  “You said it yourself last night. I’m back. Things are changing. I’m one of them.”

  Lucifer stared at him for a long minute. “I still don’t understand this we statement of yours. You’re working there.”

  “I’m not enough. You put this structure in place, and you can navigate it. Things are out of control. Gabriel’s development team rigged the system. All the top performers are spoon-fed the best leads, and they’re all heaven’s. It’s time we went hands-on.”

  “Fuck.” Lucifer slammed his fist into the desk. “All right. I can’t have this…” He snapped his jaw shut. “I’ll step in.”

  “Perfect. Then one more thing.”

  “You’ve used up your favors for the next decade.” Lucifer spoke through clenched teeth.

  “You’ll like this one. Abaddon wants a job at Ubiquity.”

  “I fucking hate that. What in eternity makes you think that’s good news? And why the hell would she do that?”

  “She wants to make a difference.” Michael let the sarcasm leak into his words. He held up a hand when Lucifer opened his mouth. “I know she’s lying, but not why. If we let her in, we can keep an eye on her.”

  Lucifer shrugged. “You and I both know this we thing is bullshit. She’s only going to answer to you or Gabe. Besides, if you want me to sift out the mess at Ubiquity, I can’t babysit. Bring her in yourself if you want, but I’m not touching it.”

  “But you want the answers.”

  “I do. But that woman scares me a little. You get answers. Share them with me.”

  “Why would I do that?” Michael asked.

  “You owe me. Offices open in what? An hour? I’ll be there.”

  * * * *

  Ronnie shouldn’t have to go back to work. Wasn’t there some kind of bereavement leave for losing one’s apartment? Or for their supposed-best friend’s trying to kill them? But she was there because the alternative spoke to her every negative emotion—past and present. She could have stayed in Michael’s condo, pretending. He’d be at Ubiquity, but that didn’t make it any less awkward sticking around at his place. She could have gone house hunting, but nothing was in her price range.

  And at least if she was going to growl and snap at people, she could take her frustration out on Raphael.

  She stepped off the elevator, and an almost tangible sense of chaos and panic rushed past her. No one was working. Angels and demons alike were rolled out of their cubes, heads bent together, whispering.

  She caught snatches of words, and some heads turned in her direction as she passed. “Ariel…” several of them whispered.

  “…devastation…”

  “…corruption…”

  “…politics…”

  “…Lucifer….”

  The last word sent her stumbling over an invisible spot in the carpet, but she caught herself before she fell. She managed to make her way to her cubicle without another incident.

  “He’s here.”

  Ronnie noticed. “Thanks for the update, Miss Obvious.” She was only in her seat for a few seconds when she heard the creak of plastic chair wheels. She turned to find one of her cube neighbors, Tiamat, behind her. She was a demon with pixie-cut dark hair, gorgeous violet eyes, and skin that would have made a porcelain doll envious.

  “Have you heard?” she asked.

  Ronnie heard a lot of things. Normally she got her office gossip from Ari. The name welled inside, stuffing her with ambivalence. She tried to force the feeling away with her response. “Nope.”

  “It’s Lucifer.” She leaned closer, voice low—which was ridiculous since everyone was talking about whatever this was, but Ronnie wasn’t going to point it out.

  This wasn’t the first time he was in the office since Ronnie started here. “And?”

  Tia’s grin reminded Ronnie of the Cheshire Cat. “You heard what happened last night, right? With the fires and the destruction and stuff?”

  Ronnie’s gut sank. She needed to put everything from last night as far behind her as possible. Catching up with Izzy was about the only thing she wanted as a reminder. Go figure. All this time she fought for her memories, and now she didn’t want the ones she had. “I heard a little bit.”

  “Apparently, it was Ariel. She went on some kind of insane rampage because she lost her job. Can you believe they fired her? If she wasn’t safe, none of us are.”

  No mention of the cherubs Ari stole and kept. As long as Ronnie’s colleagues maintained their ignorance about the option, no one else was in danger of losing their jobs. “What’s that got to do with Lucifer?”

  “He’s stepping in. Says this isn’t the organization he helped build, and he wants to keep a closer eye on things.”

  Lucifer was enforcing order and going hands-on? Uneasiness slid under Ronnie’s skin. That didn’t sound like him. “Isn’t that why Michael was here?”

  “I don’t know.” Tia shrugged. “But he’s an angel, right?” Her voice dropped lower. “You know what Raphael’s like. I bet Michael’s just as bad.”

  Ronnie ground her teeth together to fight back the surge of desire mingled with loss over what she did and didn’t have with Michael. Thank God Metatron was quiet this morning. “I doubt it.”

  “Whatever. So Lucifer is holding one-on-ones with everyone. He’s already laid several people off today.”

  Maybe no one was safe after all. Would he fire Ronnie? No. Her luck wasn’t that good this week. “Bummer.” She turned away. She didn’t want to be rude, but she wondered if she made it onto his schedule. Would she actually have a chance to talk to him today? “I should get to work if they’re laying off agents.”

  Tia made a sound that was half squeal, half eep, and Ronnie heard the casters roll away behind her.

  “I don’t care which VIPs are in the office, you still have to log into the queue.” Raphael’s threat greeted Ronnie from behind.

  That was what she needed. She held up her right hand, middle finger extended, while she used her left to log in. “Yes, sir.”

  He growled, and she braced herself for more, but there was nothing. She wouldn’t to look. Wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.

  “Just do your fucking job.”

  She stopped herself from saying language and dove into her work. It was more to keep her mind occupied than because of Raphael’s threat. The leads that came across her desk were so completely not cherubs, it wasn’t funny. At least that meant she wouldn’t have to ignore any of them. Michael’s office door stayed closed all morning, and she was grateful. So did the one to the office Lucifer appropriated, and as the hours ticked by, it infuriated her more and more. Lucifer was right there, closer than in ages. And Ronnie was going to make him tell her… Yeah, who am I kidding? She couldn’t make him tell her anything. S
he doubted she could get in to see him.

  “Are we still going on about this?”

  “Oh hey, I missed you. Not.”

  Ronnie’s phone buzzed, and reluctant hope rushed through her. Not a lot of people had her number. Her gut twisted in on itself when she saw the message from Gabe.

  Can we talk? I’d rather not set foot in that building right now. I’m across the street, if you’d like lunch.

  “He can kiss your hurt feelings better.” Metatron’s snide comment broke into Ronnie’s reading.

  “Shut up.” Why didn’t he want to be here? Did he really have to avoid Lucifer?

  “Or maybe he’s not avoiding anyone. He just likes fucking with your head.”

  At this point, it wouldn’t surprise Ronnie. Everyone else was.

  “Whine, whine, whine. Do you ever stop?”

  Metatron was one to talk. Ronnie glanced at the clock. It was close enough to noon. She could get away with heading out for lunch. She didn’t want to see Gabe, but curiosity compelled her. There was a reason he kept pursuing her, and if it gave her any hints about how to split Metatron from her, she’d grit her teeth through his creepy come-ons.

  She sent him back a quick reply that she’d be there soon and set her queue to Away. Grabbing her purse, she made her way to the lobby.

  She took her time strolling the block to the strip mall. Gabe’s message wasn’t specific, but there was only one place to eat there. An office building full of angels and demons with borderline sensory addictions was plenty to keep the bakery in business.

  Ronnie stepped inside. The incredible aroma of fresh bread and caramelized sugar rushed over her, and her stomach growled. She didn’t know when she last ate, but it would have to wait a little longer.

  Gabe was at the far end of the room. He raised his head from its resting spot on his palms and stood when he saw her. His familiar smile didn’t reassure her the way he probably wanted it to.

  “If Michael doesn’t want you…”

  Yeah, she and Metatron already had that conversation. Ronnie wasn’t in the mood to settle. Especially for Mr. Creepy-Crawly. She wasn’t in the mood for much of anything unless it came wrapped in answers.