Wives of War

by Soraya M. Lane

  Some of the other nurses had already been into town for a bath and extra food, and now that they were actually getting some time off, she couldn’t wait to do the same. She thought of Spencer then, how desperate he must be for a hot bath, too. The poor man had been working as hard as they, doing surgery after surgery, a constant rotation of amputations and patching men up as best he could. But even though his face was so pale and drawn, his body exhausted, he’d always managed to give her a smile, a brush of his lips to her cheek, a quick squeeze of her shoulder if she passed him. They’d hardly seen one another, but when they had, he’d made it clear that he was there for her. He was special, her Spencer, and the more she observed his manner, how he treated every single patient with such respect and dignity, the more she loved him.

  ‘So do you know his name yet?’ Scarlet asked Lucy.

  ‘Nope. I know nothing more about him now than I did the day I met him.’

  Ellie tuned into the conversation, abandoning her thoughts of Spencer to give them her attention. They’d both looked after her, been so kind and caring, and she wanted to enjoy her few hours off with them.

  ‘Why hasn’t he been sent away already?’ Ellie asked.

  She watched as Lucy shrugged. ‘Something to do with the Yanks coming to check over any of their men we might have. There’s another American soldier in the ward, too.’

  ‘Do you still believe it’s his wife in that photo?’ Scarlet asked. ‘Or his sweetheart?’

  Ellie hoped for Lucy’s sake that it wasn’t, because it was clear that her friend was fond of the man. Lucy was always so focused on the job, acted like nothing could distract her, and then along had come this man with his memory loss and his cute smile.

  ‘It has to be, doesn’t it? I mean . . .’ Lucy sighed. ‘I don’t know. I like him a lot, but then I think that has something to do with helping to save him. I want to know more and I want to make sure he pulls through. Gets home to his family.’

  ‘Did you see the other day we had two soldiers we’d patched up and sent off only a week earlier with minor injuries, and they were already back again? Far worse this time; one might not make it.’

  A shudder ran through Ellie that had nothing to do with the cold and everything to do with the amount of death and injury she’d been witness to in France.

  ‘How about you, Scarlet?’ Ellie asked, wanting to change the subject. ‘Nothing more on Thomas? Any word about James?’

  She saw a strange look pass over Scarlet’s face, wondered what it was that was troubling her. But it was gone as quickly as it had arrived.

  ‘More talk about some soldiers in a remote area taken in by nuns. I’m trying to figure out exactly how we can get to them.’ Scarlet let out a big sigh. ‘I don’t think I’ll hear anything about James until the day we finally get home. It’s . . .’ Ellie waited for her to finish her sentence, not wanting to interrupt her, wanting to hear what she was going to say. ‘Complicated I guess. I feel as if I have no control over anything and I have absolutely no idea what will happen, but I can’t stop thinking about him.’

  ‘Surely the army will want to do anything they can to help them?’ Lucy asked. ‘The soldiers that haven’t been found, I mean.’

  Scarlet blew out a loud breath. ‘You’d think so. But if the nuns have them and they’re being kept safe from further injury, maybe they won’t be a priority until the war is over.’

  Ellie hung on to that thought every day: that the war would one day be over. She didn’t know how much more of it she could take. The infections, the blood, the amputations and the deaths. It was so hard to face, day after day, knowing there was only so much they could do. She sucked in a breath, wrestled with her thoughts until she could push them away and focus on being out in the fresh air, away from the hospital with her friends.

  ‘What are you thinking about?’ Scarlet asked, interrupting the conversation Ellie was having in her own head about what she was and wasn’t allowed to think about.

  ‘I’m trying not to think too much about anything,’ Ellie confessed. ‘Everything makes me feel so down, so I try to think about home. What it will be like to be back, what I’ll eat, hugging my mother. All of those nice things instead of the ugly thoughts. That’s what Lucy told me to do, and it helps.’

  Lucy smiled, pleased her advice had done something to help Ellie.

  ‘How about thinking about Spencer, and how nice a little alone time with him would be,’ Scarlet teased.

  ‘Oh, I wish!’ That would definitely take her mind off war. She couldn’t help but wish she’d met Spencer at home, without war, so they could simply do normal things. ‘He keeps telling me that one day we’ll have time together, but with all the patients, with everything that keeps happening, I don’t think it will ever happen.’ She knew how stupid her own wishes were, given what they were living through, but she couldn’t help how she felt. ‘He’s so nice, so . . . I don’t know. In a way he reminds me of my father, even though they’re from such different backgrounds. But the way he looks at me, it’s the way my dad has always looked at my mother. Kind, steady, protective, I guess.’

  She frowned at the grin spreading across Scarlet’s face, annoyed at the way she and Lucy were glancing at each other, as if they were in on a secret.

  ‘Why are you two looking like that?’ Ellie demanded, narrowing her eyes as she stared back at them.

  Scarlet moved closer, nudged her in the side. ‘He’s having the afternoon off. We promised to meet him somewhere with you, and he wanted it to be a surprise.’

  ‘If we can’t have a little wartime romance, then we’re making darn sure you can,’ Lucy added.

  ‘What?’ Ellie’s heart was racing, fluttering away in her chest, and for once it wasn’t induced by gunshots or the fear of war echoing too close for comfort.

  Lucy was grinning back at her. ‘He’s so sweet. The poor man wanted to do something nice for you, as a surprise, and even though we were sworn to secrecy Scarlet said you’d hate not knowing.’

  Scarlet had definitely got that part right. She hated surprises. Although now that she knew what was about to happen . . . She gulped, finding it hard to breathe all of a sudden.

  ‘You’re not kidding, are you? Please tell me you’re not having me on,’ she said.

  ‘Ellie, it’s not the type of thing I’d joke about, I promise,’ Scarlet said. ‘Although it is kind of amusing being the one to tease you. When we first met, that was your role.’ She laughed. ‘Seems I learnt from the best.’

  Ellie smiled back at Scarlet. It felt like a long, long time ago, that first time they’d met at the railway station. Another lifetime even. So much had changed, she didn’t even feel like the same person any longer; that fun, always-happy, energetic girl had slowly disappeared. When she was with Spencer, a spark of her real self seemed to emerge, but it was a struggle putting on a brave face. For the first time in her life, smiles didn’t come as easily.

  ‘I’ve never actually been alone with him,’ she confessed. ‘I mean, we’ve been alone, but there’s always been someone close by or someone listening or . . .’ Her voice trailed off.

  ‘You’re nervous,’ Lucy said matter-of-factly. ‘It’s perfectly normal.’

  ‘I’m not nervous,’ Ellie insisted. Was she nervous? She’d never been nervous around him before, but the way her stomach was flipping and her pulse was racing, she was worried she was about to collapse.

  ‘Look, the man wants to spend time with you. Simple as that,’ Scarlet said, her smile so kind that Ellie’s nerves started to settle.

  ‘I want to spend time with him,’ she said, wrapping her arms tightly around herself. ‘But the way I’ve been feeling lately, the trauma of it all, I don’t know.’ She didn’t even know how to express what she had been going through in her mind. ‘I’ve started to wonder if he feels sorry for me, after everything that’s happened. If he doesn’t actually like me that way any longer.’

  Scarlet and Lucy both made a type of sighing noise, instantl
y shuffling closer to her as if by doing so they could protect her.

  ‘Sweetheart, anyone can see what he feels for you, and it’s not pity.’

  ‘Scarlet’s right. I’ve only been here a short while, but the way he looks at you? It doesn’t take a genius to figure that out.’

  Ellie blinked away tears. It was so unusual for her to feel like this, but something about their time in Normandy had affected her deeply, from the moment she’d seen those bodies bobbing in the water – water red with the blood of their fallen soldiers.

  ‘He’s been worried about you, too,’ Scarlet said, her voice tinged with sadness. ‘We all have. But that’s not why he wants to see you. He told me that if he’d met you back in London, he’d have taken you for lovely dinners and long walks. I think this is his way of trying to be romantic.’

  ‘So it’s not a pity date?’ Ellie asked, making herself laugh. It had been so long since she’d simply giggled and been silly, joked around and made fun. ‘Please tell me I’m not a pity date,’ she moaned.

  The other girls laughed and Ellie linked her arms through theirs, taking a big lungful of air. It was cold and it was dreary outside, but something inside of her was finally starting to thaw.

  ‘I don’t know where I’d be without you two,’ she confessed.

  ‘Bored, that’s where you’d be,’ Lucy quipped.

  Scarlet dropped her head to Ellie’s shoulder for a moment, and Ellie knew that despite all the jokes, her friends felt the same. They’d looked after her in her darkest moments – times that she’d been so sleep-deprived and tormented by her thoughts, she didn’t know how she’d have survived without them.

  ‘I think today you’ll finally see how much you mean to him,’ Scarlet said in a low voice.

  ‘If I manage to get a bath first, you mean?’

  Ellie and Scarlet burst out laughing at the same time.

  ‘Hey, I wasn’t going to say anything, but let’s be honest. I wouldn’t let a man near me right now!’ Lucy giggled.

  ‘Even your gorgeous soldier?’ Scarlet asked, still laughing.

  ‘One whiff of me and he’d probably lose his memory all over again.’

  Ellie burst out laughing. ‘You girls,’ she muttered, shaking her head. ‘Heavens, I’d forgotten how good it was to laugh.’

  They all looked up as a truck came rumbling down the road, the noise making them pause. Ellie was so used to being cautious now that it came as second nature, on alert at the first sign of danger.

  ‘It’s one of ours, we’re fine,’ Scarlet said quickly.

  The truck passed slowly, the weary-looking soldiers raising their hands as it went by them. Ellie wasn’t attention hungry, but she thought it was sad when a group of young men didn’t say anything or even whistle at three nurses on the side of the road. They might all be in need of a bath, but her friends were pretty, and the soldiers they’d waved goodbye to back in London wouldn’t have missed the chance to wolf-whistle or wink at a pretty nurse. Now, those same soldiers had a defeated look in their eyes that she saw countless times in the hospital, and it made her so sad.

  ‘So where do you think we should go? I mean, to find what we need?’ Scarlet asked.

  Lucy was the first to start walking again and Ellie quickly fell in beside her.

  ‘Some of the girls said to head to a large white farmhouse, one with the flag flying on the front porch. Someone said something about the people there having a soft spot for nurses, so they’re often willing to sell food cheap, like eggs.’

  Ellie listened to Lucy then turned to Scarlet when she started to speak.

  ‘I think we should hitch a ride to the convent. The one in Bayeux. If I had to choose, I’d rather have a shower than something to eat.’

  Ellie didn’t mention that she’d heard how long the queues could be there because she knew how desperately Scarlet wanted to find word about Thomas. Her friend might have had feelings for the man who was supposed to become her brother-in-law, but it hadn’t curbed her determination to find her fiancé. Maybe her guilt was making her more determined.

  ‘So the option is to get one of those jeeps to take us,’ Lucy said, frowning, ‘and spend the better part of the day travelling, or head straight to a local farmhouse and beg them to feed us?’

  Scarlet made a kind of clucking noise in her throat that reminded Ellie of a chicken. Ellie stifled a laugh. ‘I know it would be cold, but couldn’t we just bathe in a river or something? I’m ready to beg for food!’

  Scarlet scowled and stuck her thumb out as soon as the distant rumble of a vehicle sounded out on the road, most likely heading straight for them. ‘You two can do as you like, but Ellie? If I were you and I had a fine man like Spencer all excited about an afternoon alone with me, I’d be choosing the hot bath first.’

  Ellie clamped her hand over her mouth. The Scarlet she’d met all those months ago would never have said anything like that. ‘You’re trouble,’ she teased.

  ‘Me?’ Scarlet laughed. ‘If you think I’m trouble you obviously haven’t met my friend Ellie.’

  Ellie poked out her tongue before looking back and seeing the jeep heading straight for them, going slow enough to make her think it was stopping for them. ‘Fine. But don’t moan if we end up standing in queue for hours.’

  Not to mention if they ended up taking so long that she missed the time she was supposed to have with Spencer.

  Ellie was a ball of nerves. They’d finally made their way back after their baths, which had only cost a few francs but had made Ellie feel like a million dollars. She’d forgotten how incredible it felt to have every part of her body clean and scrubbed. Her hair was long dry, and she’d pinned it up with some help from Scarlet and Lucy, since she didn’t have a mirror. Now all she could do was wait, and perhaps pay for another cup of real coffee. It had been her other highlight of the day, drinking real coffee with real milk. She smiled just thinking about the difference between what she’d finished drinking to what she’d survived on at camp.

  But now Lucy and Scarlet had gone off in search of food to take back to camp, with eggs top of the list, and she was waiting for Spencer to arrive. Part of her wondered if it was a cruel joke, that he wasn’t truly coming and her friends had only been teasing, but she knew them better than that. They would never have waved her goodbye and left her to wait for no one.

  ‘Ellie.’

  She jumped at the sound of his voice, turning slowly. She was standing outside the little place where she’d had coffee, not minding the cool breeze.

  ‘I’m so sorry to keep you waiting like this.’

  Spencer’s smile was kind, his face open as he looked down at her.

  ‘I’ve hardly been waiting. We only arrived back from Bayeux less than an hour ago.’

  He moved closer, his arm extended like he wasn’t quite sure what to do, and it made her laugh. She grabbed his hand and smiled up at him. Today was the first day in a long while that she’d felt a little like her old self, and she was going to make the most of it.

  He laughed back and drew her closer, palm to palm. ‘I hope you don’t mind sitting and drinking coffee awhile,’ he said. ‘I’ve been craving anything other than that hideous Compo blend.’

  ‘I thought the fancy doctors would get the real stuff,’ she said, walking through the door ahead of him when he held it open with one hand.

  ‘I’m afraid not. Don’t you think I’d have smuggled you some in if I did?’

  ‘A girl can only hope.’

  They ordered their coffee and sat down, and Ellie was struck by how ordinary everything seemed. There was terrible damage all around, roads ruined and buildings blasted beyond recovery, but in this little café, the world seemed almost perfect. As if she was a regular girl on a regular date, about to sip coffee and talk. She leaned closer to Spencer, head bent and wishing she was sitting beside him instead of across the table.

  ‘I was worried Scarlet was tricking me,’ she confessed.

  Spencer looked up and st
ared straight into her eyes. ‘I’ve been wanting a moment alone with you since the very first time we spoke.’

  ‘When I bumped into you in the hall that day?’ she asked, feeling some of her old confidence returning.

  ‘Well, maybe the second time. That first time I was just struck by your beautiful big eyes.’ He gave her a half-smile. ‘I even told my mother about the beautiful nurse who’d taken me by surprise.’

  She giggled, like a silly little girl. And if felt wonderful. ‘You did?’

  ‘Of course. I couldn’t write a letter home and not mention that I might have someone to introduce her to when we get back.’

  ‘Tell me what you have planned for us today,’ she said, eyes averted, not wanting to know what he’d told his mother. She couldn’t believe he’d done it in the first place!

  He raised an eyebrow and made her laugh again. This was a different Spencer, one she hadn’t had the opportunity to enjoy with everything that had been happening.

  ‘What would you say if you found out that I’d made up a story about needing you for an evening shift at the local convent?’

  His wry smile made her blush. ‘You have?’

  ‘Are you angry?’

  ‘I can’t be angry yet because I don’t know what you have in store for me!’

  Spencer leaned back when their coffee was placed on the table, the steaming hot cups looking as good this time as her first one had.

  ‘There’s a stream that runs through a farm near here. I thought we could sit down there and talk,’ he said simply. ‘I like you, Ellie. Despite everything we’re dealing with, I met you, and that makes everything I’ve had to deal with worth it.’