Learning to Love

by Sheryl Browne

  Andrea placed the chocolates on the bedside locker. She should go. She really couldn’t digest this piece of news, at least not yet. Did everyone around her live such complicated lives full of secrets and lies? Was anybody ever who they seemed to be?

  ‘Aren’t you going to ask why I would do such a thing?’ Sally asked as Andrea fell silent.

  Andrea wasn’t sure she wanted to hear any more.

  Sally went on anyway. ‘Precisely because he would have stayed, Andrea, don’t you see, at least for a while? That’s the kind of man he is. A man who couldn’t do what most men would do when told they’re about to be a father after spending only one night with a woman. I told him it might be my last chance to have a baby. I said I wouldn’t consider not having it, not that he suggested I did. That’s what we were talking about when you came into the conservatory. He would have been there for his child, if there had been a child,’ Sally continued as Andrea felt a tear prickle her eye. ‘But he’d much rather have been with you. He loves you, Andrea. He told me, not that he had to. It was as obvious as the nose on my face.’

  Andrea nodded slowly, swallowed, and got to her feet.

  ‘You’d better take your chocolates,’ Sally suggested as she started towards the door.

  Andrea paused. ‘I’m not sure I’m in a chocolate mood, Sally,’ she said, with some effort. ‘I’d better go. I have some things to do.’

  ‘Give David my best,’ Sally said sadly behind her.

  Not sure what to say to that, Andrea walked on. ‘Sally,’ she stopped short of the door, ‘did David know you were going to tell me all this?’

  ‘I didn’t know I was going to tell you all this. I wanted to, but I honestly didn’t know whether I could. I was so down, that’s the only thing I can offer in my defence, so terribly lonely. David’s probably the only person who’s really understood. I mean, it’s just so hard to explain that you’ve never stopped grieving, when there was never a person to grieve over in most people’s minds. You just stop mentioning it after a while. Anyway, he’s made me an appointment to see someone and I …’ Sally faltered. ‘Can we still be friends, Andrea?’

  Andrea didn’t turn around, lest her expression belie her emotion. She was angry, furious with Sally. Felt terribly sorry for her. But most of all heartbroken. Did Sally really feel she needed to put on a brave face in front of her? She didn’t know whether they could get back to where they had been, but … If David could find it in his heart to be a friend to Sally, after everything that had happened, then Andrea was going to give it a damn good try. ‘Save me the vanilla truffle,’ she said. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’

  David selected Andrea’s number again, then, his thumb hovering over his phone, he aborted the call. She hadn’t rung him. He’d felt like a love-struck teenager checking for messages at least five thousand times today. A love-stuck loser, more like.

  Dragging his hand through his hair, David sighed and pushed his key into his front door. He couldn’t blame her. Her life was complicated enough without him adding to her worries. And he had. The simple fact was, baby or no baby, he had slept with her best friend, albeit he didn’t know she was. When he had known, though, he’d chosen not to tell her. Add to that the web of lies Eden had spun her … No, Andrea wouldn’t want to get embroiled in another relationship with someone she wasn’t sure she could trust.

  His fault. He’d never imagined he’d fall in love again. Yet he had, and he’d blown it. He was determined to be a friend to her, though, whatever, if that’s all she wanted; to be there for her. For her kids, too, Ryan, in particular, who seemed to have become an integral part of his own life. He’d concentrate his energies on Jake, David decided. Get more involved in the daily dog walking routine maybe? Jake might welcome that, Ryan now apparently dating Nita. He could take up jogging, keep himself fit. Take several cold showers a day. He wished he could stop thinking about Andrea, the touch, taste and smell of her.

  Letting himself in and dropping his briefcase in the hall, his fantasy of Andrea’s sweet lips soft against his was rudely interrupted by the wet snout of a lumbering Labrador in his ear.

  ‘Hi, Homer.’ David rolled his eyes and dutifully gave the dog’s head a pat, then rolled his eyes again and attempted to extract his trouser leg from Dougal’s mouth.

  Wait a minute. Dogs on the loose? No owners in sight? That spelled trouble. David plucked the frenziedly yapping Yorkie up and stuck his head around the kitchen door. No Jake. No Ryan. He listened up the stairs, then decided to check downstairs first. ‘Anybody home?’ he called, heading for the closed lounge door, then pausing, and listening.

  ‘Right, all those in favour?’ he heard Eva from inside, followed by several affirmative responses, including Jake’s, ‘Yup.’

  Great. The Kelly Committee had obviously reconvened. David sighed, glanced warily at a tongue-lolling, tail-wagging Homer, and then tentatively pressed down the handle, only to find the door yanked open by Dee.

  ‘You’re taking your time, aren’t you? My daughter’s not getting any younger, you know,’ she imparted, looking him up and down. ‘Your tie’s skew-whiff. And you’re covered in dogs’ hairs. You’d better smarten yourself up, young man, if you’re hoping to impress anyone.’ So saying, Dee walked around him and marched on.

  ‘Ah, David,’ Eva said, following in her wake, ‘we’ve been having a little meeting, and you’ll be pleased to know the ayes have it, don’t they, Jake?’

  David glanced past her, to where Jake ambled from the room. ‘Yup, I’m cool with it,’ he said, looking up at David, his eyes actually full of mischief.

  ‘Er, would someone like to enlighten me?’ he asked, peering hopefully around Eva to Ryan, who unfortunately had his hands full, helping Nita back into her chair. And who seemed to also be getting an earful from Thea.

  ‘And while you’re delivering the burlesque feather adornments to the shop, you can pop up and ask Andrea whether she’d like to come to dinner, Ryan,’ Thea instructed, whilst feeding herself into her faux fur. ‘Nothing too formal. I thought we’d start with a nice traditional Kotosoupa Avgolemono, followed by—’

  ‘Ooh, Mum! We’ve only been going out for ten minutes. Will you just stop with the “meeting his parents” arrangements.’ Nita scowled at her mum, and then wheeled herself huffily into the hall.

  David tried not to laugh as Ryan collected Dougal and trailed after Nita cross-eyed.

  ‘The course of true love never did run smooth.’ David offered Ryan an empathetic smile.

  ‘Yeah, right.’ Ryan trudged on, looking definitely put upon. ‘Tell me again, why do we do it?’

  ‘Because I’m awesome,’ Nita told him.

  ‘Just like her mother.’ Thea paused to give David an eyelash flutter on her way out.

  ‘Come along, Thea dear, before the doctor’s overwhelmed with your awesomeness.’ Eva caught hold of Thea’s arm, whisking her onward. ‘We don’t want Dee wandering off again, do we?’

  David shook his head as the two women headed for the front door, Thea’s eyes trailing behind her. ‘Er, Eva …?’

  ‘Yes?’ Eva turned back.

  ‘Do you want to tell me what it is I’m supposed to be pleased about that apparently got an overwhelming majority?’

  ‘Oh, yes, sorry, Doctor Adams. Head like a sieve, I swear.’ Eva slapped a hand against her forehead. Thea coiffed her hair. ‘The shop. I’ve had a word with Andrea and she’s absolutely delighted with your offer to allow her the shop on six months free rental.’

  Come again? David looked at her askance. ‘Er, right,’ he said. ‘I wasn’t aware I had offered it to her.’

  ‘You hadn’t? Oh.’ Eva had a think. ‘Well, not to worry, you have now, haven’t you?’

  David ran his hand over his neck. ‘Apparently, yes,’ he said, furrowing his brow. Letting Andrea have the shop wasn’t concerning him. He’d be out of pocket in the short term, but David reckoned he’d make a profit on the building in the long term. What this shrewd old woman was cooking
up was concerning him, however. She was up to something. He’d bet his life on it.

  ‘Splendid. She’s taking six months leave of absence from teaching at the end of this term while she sees how it pans out, so you can use that time to see how other things pan out, can’t you?’ Eva beamed him a smile and turned to bustle on out.

  ‘What other things?’ David scratched his head and glanced at Jake, standing off at a safe distance, in the kitchen doorway with Homer. ‘Any ideas?’

  ‘Clueless.’ Jake shook his head solemnly.

  Too solemnly. David eyed him narrowly. They were definitely up to something. Question was, what?

  David had barely closed the front door when Ryan shot back up the drive. ‘Just got a call from Sophe,’ he said, worriedly. ‘Mum’s not too well, apparently. I said I’d stay with Jake …’

  ‘I’m on my way.’ David collected his bag and all but fell over Ryan in his haste to get to his car.

  ‘There. You look totally gorgeous.’ Sophie stood back to admire her handiwork.

  Andrea looked in the mirror, doubting she looked anything near gorgeous. It was an improvement, though, she had to admit. Recent events had taken their toll. Her moisturising and make-up routine had flown out the window, leaving her complexion as dull as dishwater, and her hair would have petrified Medusa. Naturally curly soon ended up naturally knotted without a bit of effort on the conditioning front. Sophie had taken her in hand, however, caking her face in a moisturising face pack and topping her off with hair rescue treatment. Andrea had quite fancied staying under the face pack and turban, but now all was revealed … Well, it wasn’t too bad, actually. Nothing minor surgery or a head transplant couldn’t fix anyway.

  ‘Right, I’m off to run you a nice bubble bath,’ Sophie said around the grip clenched between her teeth as she pinned up the last few strands of Andrea’s hair. ‘Then I’m taking Chloe to Maccies with Hannah so you can have a long soak in it.’

  Pardon? Andrea’s mouth clanged open. Something was wrong with this picture. Either the bodysnatchers had been and swapped Miss Moody for Miss Smiley, or something was wrong.

  ‘What? Problem?’ Sophie obviously caught her expression through the mirror.

  ‘No. Nothing.’ Andrea turned around, debating whether she should casually enquire whether there might be, though luxuriating in a bubble bath in blissful ignorance seemed the much more inviting option. She cast her mind back, trying to recall if Sophie had hinted at anything being wrong, apart from their lives being turned upside down and inside out, but couldn’t think of … Ooh, no. Condoms! Recalling Sophie’s casual mention of them recently, Andrea decided she most definitely should enquire.

  ‘I, um, just wondered whether everything was all right … with you, I mean?’

  ‘Yes.’ Sophie put the final pin in her hair, meaning it might actually stay on top of Andrea’s head for once. ‘Why?’

  ‘No reason, just wondering.’

  ‘No, I’m fine,’ Sophie assured her.

  ‘You don’t fancy a bit of girl-talk, then? Just you and me?’ Andrea asked nonchalantly.

  ‘Love to, Mum, but Hannah’s waiting for me to go over. Another time maybe.’

  ‘Right.’ Andrea nodded. ‘But there’s nothing wrong? Nothing you want to tell me?’

  Sophie planted her hands on her hips. ‘Mum, I told you, everything’s cool. What’s your problem?’

  ‘I don’t have one.’ Andrea shrugged innocently. ‘I just thought you might.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Well, you are going out of your way to be nice to me, Sophie. You must admit—’

  ‘Oh, charming. Have a go at me for being nice to you now, why don’t you? God, honestly!’ Sophie folded her arms. ‘Going to get Chloe ready. At least there’s one person who appreciates me round here.’ Sophie twirled around, and stropped huffily off.

  Rather than interfere, Andrea left Sophie to see to Chloe and ran her bath, feeling terribly guilty. Sophie had bought her some coconut bath wash. She must have got that specially, knowing it was Andrea’s favourite. She really was just trying to be nice, and she’d openly suspected her motives. What must that say to Sophie about how she generally perceived her?

  Hearing Sophie coming back from the bedroom, Andrea dashed out to meet her before she reached the front door. ‘Sorry,’ she said, meaning it. ‘You’ve been fantastic, Sophie. I really do appreciate it, honestly. I’m just frazzled, that’s all, looking for the next problem. Just ignore me.’

  Sophie shrugged moodily. ‘I do most of the time.’

  Not sure what to say to that, Andrea bent down to make sure Chloe’s coat was fastened properly. She couldn’t get the chill of the cold river air out of her own bones, her natural inclination therefore to make sure everyone was suitably coated and scarfed before venturing out.

  ‘Bye, sweetie.’ Andrea pressed a finger to her baby’s cute button nose. ‘Be good for your big sister, hey?’

  ‘Going Maccies.’ Chloe picked up on the teenage vernacular, grinning from ear-to-ear.

  ‘That’s because Ronald’s all better, so we can go more often now.’ Andrea smiled and gave her a hug.

  ‘Be good,’ she said to Sophie, standing up.

  ‘I always am,’ Sophie said, trailing to the front door, Chloe’s hand firm in hers. ‘And if I can’t be good, I’ll be careful.’

  ‘Sophie …’ Andrea’s shoulders drooped.

  ‘What?’ Sophie turned around. ‘Joking, Mum, y’know? I can’t do right for doing wrong, can I?’ she said, a definite wobble in her voice. ‘I was just trying to be nice to you ’cos of all the shit you’ve been through and even then I seem to get moaned at.’

  Oh hell … Andrea flew over to squish her belligerent big-little girl into a firm hug. ‘I know you were, Sophie.’ She eased back to look into her daughter’s confidently made-up, yet uncertain, eyes. ‘And I’m a pain in the bum who keeps banging on all the while, but just so you know, that’s because I worry, because I love you. And I love you just the way you are, okay?’

  Sophie sniffed and nodded.

  ‘Are we good?’

  ‘We’re good.’ Sophie managed a smile. ‘Go on. You’d better go and have your soak before it goes cold, but be quick. Catchya later.’

  ‘I thought you said I could have a nice long soak,’ Andrea said, turning back to the bathroom.

  ‘Oh, um … Yeah, I did, but Gran’s probably on her way back by now, isn’t she? She’ll be fishing you out so she can soak her bunions.’

  Well that ruined the romantic bath by candlelight image a bit. Andrea smiled and headed off for a quick dip.

  David knocked three times, his concern escalating with each knock. Where the hell was she? And where the bloody hell was Sophie? Hadn’t it been her who’d rung Ryan? Deliberating the ethics of letting himself in for all of one second, David fished the spare keys from his pocket. The last he’d heard, Eden was still in the hospital, the femoral fracture sustained when he’d hit ironwork on the way into the river requiring surgery, but David wouldn’t put anything past him. That aside, Sophie had obviously gone out, which might mean that Andrea was lying in there too ill to make the stairs to the door. Whatever, David didn’t have time for ethics.

  ‘Andrea,’ he called, searching room by room, only to find the bathroom door locked. ‘What the …? Andrea!’

  Why wasn’t she answering? Something was wrong. There had to be. David swallowed back a tight knot in his throat and listened. Nothing. Not a sound. ‘Dammit!’ Panic gripping his stomach, he pressed his shoulder to the door and shoved hard – unfortunately at the exact time Andrea pulled it open.

  ‘David?’ she said. ‘David! Oh, David! Are you all right?’

  Dropping down next to where David was scraping himself disorientated from the floor to all fours, Andrea tried to pull him up by his overcoat – and almost strangled him in the process.

  David coughed and shook his head free of stars. ‘Erm, yes. I think so.’ Cast iron baths in bathrooms, not a goo
d idea, he decided. ‘Are you okay?’ he asked, wincing as he finally managed to get himself somewhere near sitting.

  ‘Of course.’ Andrea blinked at him. ‘What on earth were you doing?’

  David closed his rapidly swelling eye. Would very much have preferred to keep both eyes open as Andrea was wearing nothing but the skimpiest of towels, but – bloody hell – his head was throbbing. ‘Rescuing you?’ He shrugged, then, ‘Ouch,’ winced again.

  ‘Well, that worked,’ Andrea said, draping his arm over her shoulders and trying again to heave him up.

  David laughed. ‘I think you’ll need to eat more spinach if you’re aiming to become a weightlifter,’ he suggested, grabbing hold of the bath with his free hand and levering himself to his feet.

  ‘I wish you’d wear a suit of armour if you’re going to insist on being my white knight, David,’ Andrea grumbled, his arm still over her shoulder as she helped him to the lounge.

  I could get used to this, David thought. ‘Your towel’s slipping,’ he said, unable to resist a peek with his good eye at the pleasing amount of breast revealing itself temptingly above it.

  Andrea practically dumped him on the sofa. ‘What were you thinking, David?’ she asked huffily, hitching her towel up, which revealed an awful lot of thigh.

  ‘That you were in trouble.’ David tried to focus his eye and mind where it should be.

  ‘Well, I wasn’t!’

  David’s mouth curved into a smile. ‘You might be if you stand there like that much longer.’

  ‘David, be serious.’ Andrea hitched her towel down at the bottom, then back up at the top, which had David’s mouth curving into a very appreciative smile. ‘You scared me to death! Were you actually going to break down the door?’

  ‘You didn’t answer,’ David said in his defence. ‘I thought something was wrong.’

  ‘I was listening to Sophie’s iPod!’ Andrea pointed at her ears. Bad move, David thought, as the towel slipped. Or maybe not.

  ‘Ooh, David, stop it.’ Andrea tugged the towel tighter around herself, blushing furiously, and most definitely beautifully.