Love Me Last

by Rhea Wilde

  “It is.”

  “You should see it at night. Seeing the city in a different light will make you appreciate it even more.”

  I turned to him and he had a polite smile on his face.

  “I’ve seen the city at night before,” I said. “I’ve been looking at it for the past ten years.”

  “Hmm… Indeed.”

  He stroked his chin then clapped his hands together. He held them out in front of him, pointing at what was on the table.

  “Here it is,” he said as he looked down at the money. “Ninety-thousand dollars. That’s the rest of your reward. I’m sorry it took so long. I had to clear it with the bank. Contrary to popular belief, people like me don’t just walk around with wads of cash.”

  “That’s fine. I’m not in a rush to get anywhere.”

  “Nor should you be. You’ve had an interesting few days from what I understand. It makes me wonder why you wouldn’t want a check instead.”

  “A check I’d have to cash. I don’t know what would happen if I walked out of a bank with this kind of money. God knows I’ve had enough attention to last me a lifetime…”

  “I see your point. At the same time, don’t leave this all in one place. You never know what can happen.”

  “Give me some credit, Taurus.”

  He chuckled to himself as he pushed the money toward me. I grabbed one of the stacks of cash and thumbed through it to make sure it was real. There were eight other stacks. I’d never seen that much money in my life but it didn’t impress me as much as I thought it would. Instead, I began to dump the money in the carry-over bag I brought with me. Lee was sitting down in his chair, watching me the entire time.

  “I suppose this concludes our business,” he said. “Congratulations on a job well done.”

  “Thanks,” I said without looking at him, focused on trying to count the money.

  “Would you like something to drink? You should celebrate.”

  “I’m fine, thanks. This is celebration enough.”

  “I had a feeling you would be the one to get the job done. You truly proved yourself to be the finest private investigator in the city.”

  “I wouldn’t go that far. I just try to do my job.”

  “And you do it well… Our business is done but there are some things I’d like to discuss with you.”

  “Oh, yeah? If you wanna hire me for another case, you’re gonna have to wait. I think I’m gonna go on vacation for a little while.”

  “You’ve earned it. But no, it’s not another case. There are some other things that have me curious.”

  “Curious? The case is solved. The police are wrapping things up. What more is there?”

  I finished counting the last stack of money. I pushed it down into my bag then zipped it shut. After pulling the strap over my shoulder, I could feel how heavy it was even though I was sitting down.

  “I’m curious about you,” Lee said.

  I raised my head up and looked across his desk at him. He was leaning back in his chair, his fingertips pressed against one another.

  “Me? What about me?”

  “You went through a lot over these past few days. It’s not common for someone to see literal death and destruction right before their eyes. You might say I’m a little concerned about you.”

  “You? Concerned?”

  I smiled at first before I started to laugh.

  “You’re the last person I expected to hear that from.”

  I kept on chuckling but I was the only one. Lee just stared at me blankly, unmoving with his fingertips still pressed together. I stopped laughing and cleared my throat.

  “I’m fine. I appreciate your concern but I’m fine. I’m almost thirty now. I’ve been through a lot. This won’t be enough to shake me.”

  “I’m glad to hear that. I wanted to tell you something.”

  “Yeah? What’s that?”

  “I’m very grateful for what you did.”

  “I know you are. You just paid me a hundred-thousand dollars.”

  “It’s still a lot of money, even for someone like me. You risked your life, Eva. You put everything on the line. Not everybody would have done the same.”

  “A lot of people would have, considering how much you were offering.”

  “But not you. Maybe you agreed to do it because of the money. I know solving this case means more to you though.”

  “And what makes you say that?”

  I raised an eyebrow at him. Lee still looked as cocky as ever and I had to stop myself from laughing again.

  “I know the details of the case,” he said. “I had multiple investigators working for me, remember? I had a CID Agent right here in this office who you met. This wasn’t just about the money for you. By the time it was over, this had become personal.”

  I stared at him, looking into his eyes to try and figure out what he was getting at. I swallowed and pursed my lips together as the thought of Derek came back to me.

  “Are you trying to make a point, because you’re losing me,” I said with a shrug.

  “My point is New Gardens is a great city. It’s a great city because of people like you. You might not know it. Maybe you do and you don’t want to acknowledge it. But I just want you to know how grateful I am for what you’ve done.”

  “You’re grateful, huh? Then maybe you can do something for me besides the money.”

  “I can’t do that,” he said as he shook his head.

  “I didn’t even tell you what it was,” I said, slightly confused.

  “I know what it is that you want. How many times do I have to tell you that I had other investigators? Investigators who saw you… and him. But I would have figured it out myself. You weren’t wearing those dog tags the last time we spoke.”

  I looked down at my necklace. The dog tags rested comfortably in the center of my chest. I glanced back up at Lee, my jaw clenched slightly.

  “…What are you getting at?”

  His eyes shifted to the side as he thought to himself. He was silent for a few seconds, contemplating whatever it was he planned on saying to me. I sat patiently in my seat and waited for his response. He knew about Derek. I wondered if there were anything he could do for him now.

  “I’ve been in love before,” he said. “Sometimes you just have to learn to let go. I know that’s not what you want to hear. There are some things we can’t control. It doesn’t matter how much money you have or how charming you are. Some things just aren’t possible.”

  When he looked at me, I shifted my eyes away from him. I stared down at the ground as Lee continued to speak to me.

  “I can’t bribe the military. Laws are laws and he broke them. He has to be punished—”

  “Why are you telling me this?” I exclaimed as I turned my head back up and looked at him. “Why are you bringing this up?”

  A burst of emotions exploded inside of me. A warmth in my chest spread through my neck and toward my head. My mind was occupied by so many different thoughts swirling within it.

  “Because… I know all of the details of this case. I know there’s someone else who needs you. A young boy who could really use someone to be there for him. I know you don’t need a reminder. But it’s my duty to remind you anyway. He needs you to be there for him. It’s not fair for you to be distracted by someone else.”

  “…Are you done?”

  He nodded to me. I looked away from him and got up from my seat. Clutching my bag close to me, I turned around and finally headed for the exit. Right when I got to the door, I heard his voice call out to me.

  “Eva.”

  I slowly spun around on my heel toward him. He was all the way across the office but I could still see his lips moving.

  “Thank you.”

  He smiled then bowed his head to me again. I stared back at Lee, unsure of how to respond. My thoughts were distracting me. The only thing I could do was nod back to him before finally leaving his office.

  Chapter 28

  EV
A

  Three weeks later…

  It was late in the morning. The summer sun was out to remind everybody today would be just as hot as every other day. Those unfortunate enough to have to work out in the open toiled in the heat. Other people were just trying to walk to the closest place with air-conditioning as quickly as possible. The angry drivers stuck in traffic became more frustrated as the cars all packed together from the latest standstill. Road work. A car accident. Maybe it was just bad driving. Whatever the case, it was business as usual in New Gardens. You wouldn’t have known citizens had gone missing, two buildings exploded on the edge of town and the biggest potential drug dealer the city had ever seen was shot and killed.

  I slumped in my chair. My head leaned against my index finger as it massaged my temple. I stared blankly into the distance, my mind completely empty.

  “Hey.”

  I heard my friend’s voice but ignored her. From the corner of my eye, I watched her take a seat in front of me while I continued to look out the window.

  “Hey, are you all right?”

  “I’m fine,” I sighed.

  “You don’t seem fine.”

  “I’m just… I’m just thinking, that’s all.”

  “Oh, yeah?”

  “Look at them. Just going about their business like nothing’s wrong.”

  “Is something wrong that I missed?”

  “No. It feels weird though. After everything that happened…”

  “Not all of them went through what you did. The whole case wouldn’t affect them the same as it would you.”

  “Yeah, I guess you have a point.”

  “Why don’t you eat your breakfast? I know you can’t resist it. Bacon. Eggs. Cheese. A toasted muffin. Mmm… I think I’ll eat it myself.”

  She reached forward across the table. I quickly turned to her and raised an eyebrow. She giggled at me then playfully pulled her hand away.

  “I’m not that distracted,” I said.

  I picked up the breakfast sandwich and took a bite out of it. As soon as it hit my tongue, my eyes closed. I exhaled a sigh through my nostrils as I chewed on it. I could hear Mya continuing to giggle at me.

  “You always had a weakness for coffee,” she said. “I knew you couldn’t resist when I invited you over. I thought you were going to give everything up after you said you stopped drinking.”

  “I can’t give up everything. I’ve gotta enjoy myself a little bit.”

  “We should get breakfast tomorrow. How does pancakes and eggs sound?”

  “Slow down. One meal at a time.”

  We shared a laugh together as we enjoyed our late breakfast. Being with Mya and enjoying a meal were some of the few pleasures I had in my life at the moment.

  “How is he?” she asked. “Did you see him yesterday?”

  “I did. His aunt and uncle are paying more attention to him now after what happened. They assured me it won’t happen again.”

  “That’s good to hear. It sounds like you’ve done your job and you don’t need to see him any longer.”

  “No,” I said, shaking my head. “Brandon still remembers me. He calls me Auntie Eva.”

  “Auntie Eva? I never pictured you in that way.”

  Mya rocked back in her seat. Her head moved back as she cackled. I did my best to ignore her, continuing to eat my sandwich and wash it down with coffee.

  “Laugh it up,” I said. “Go ahead. Get a real good laugh.”

  “I’m sorry, Eva. It’s just… You’ve changed.”

  “Is there anything wrong with that?”

  I stopped chewing, an eyebrow raised at her again. She stopped laughing but there was still a smile on her face.

  “No,” she said. “It’s good. I’m glad you’ve found something. Ever since I’ve known you, all you did was work. You stressed yourself out so much that you drank to distract yourself. Then you would work again so you could afford something else to drink. It was a vicious cycle.”

  “I just… I didn’t have anything. It’s strange.”

  “What’s strange?”

  “Brandon’s guardians only let me see him once a week. Spending time with him… It’s my favorite part of the week.”

  “That’s really sweet, Eva.”

  “Yeah… I think it’s because being with Brandon makes me think of him.”

  I could see the necklace hanging down in the middle of my chest. The two dog tags were always in view no matter where I was looking. The weight of them was always against me.

  “Have you heard anything?” Mya asked.

  Thinking about him made me feel a way I didn’t want to acknowledge. I distracted myself from my thoughts by taking another bite of my sandwich, instead focusing on how hungry I was at the moment.

  “No,” I said as I shook my head. “It’s hard to get any information because it’s a military crime. I need different contacts that I don’t have.”

  “I’m sure he’s doing all right.”

  “I wonder why he hasn’t contacted me.”

  “He probably just can’t at the moment. I’m sure he will the first chance he gets.”

  “If you say so…”

  I sighed then ripped off another bite from the sandwich. I stared at my cup of coffee while I chewed, trying my best not to think of him.

  “How’s your apartment coming along?” Mya asked.

  “Slowly. Mr. Chen wasn’t too happy about what happened. It’s kind of hard to get rid of blood and bullet holes. And with the labor in this town, they’re taking longer than usual.”

  “You know you can stay at my place as long as you like.”

  “I know. It should be finished soon though. Once Mr. Chen saw I had the rent money, he stopped complaining. I used to be one of the tenants he couldn’t wait to evict. Now he’s practically begging me to stay.”

  “Money always changes everything.”

  “It sure does.”

  Mya calmly sipped on her latte. She seemed as peaceful as she always was. I finished the rest of my sandwich while my friend watched me the entire time.

  “I’m not gonna do it,” I said to her.

  “What?” she said, her face wrinkled in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

  “You’re always there for me. You always listen to my problems. We go out for drinks and I tell you what’s stressing me out.”

  “Yeah… That’s what I’m here for.”

  “Not this time. You’re not a therapist. You shouldn’t have to listen to me.”

  She rolled her eyes at me and sighed.

  “We’ve been over this. I mean, not specifically. I didn’t think I would have to spell it out for you.”

  “What do you mean?”

  She reached across the table and put her hand on top of mine, squeezing it gently in her palm.

  “The strongest woman I’ve ever known was my mother. That was until I met you. When I first met you, I didn’t think much of you. I thought you were just some poor girl who came to the wrong city trying to make it. Serving probation… I thought you’d just be another woman who never fulfilled her potential. But you made it and then some. You’ve done something incredible. You should be proud.”

  “I don’t feel very incredible at the moment.”

  “Do you know why I enjoy spending so much time with you, Eva? Because I learn something new every single time. I learn so much more about myself. You do things I wish I could do.”

  “Mya—”

  “Look. Nobody is perfect. I know you’re down. You feel vulnerable. We’ve all been there before. But it’s not the end of the world. It just feels like it.”

  I looked down at Mya’s hand on top of mine. I didn’t know why it worked but it did. She managed to make me feel less miserable.

  “You always know what to say,” I said.

  “I’m glad,” she sighed a deep breath. “If that didn’t change your mind, I would have ordered you another sandwich.”

  “Don’t tempt me.”

  She
chuckled softly at me then pulled her hand away.

  “What are you gonna do now?” she asked.

  “I don’t know,” I said with a shrug. “I think I’ll just go to the park and relax. Watch the people.”

  “In this weather?”

  “Good point. Maybe I’ll just watch a movie.”

  “Yeah, that sounds like a better idea. Eva…”

  “Yeah?”

  “When they finish fixing everything in your apartment building, are you gonna go back to it? I’m sure there will be a lot of cases available to you, considering your record now.”

  I looked down at my lap, away from my friend. My hand moved up to the dog tags, twiddling them between my fingertips.

  “I don’t think I could,” I said.

  “You don’t have to, you know? You’ve got enough money to take a long vacation. It should go a long way in this city.”

  “I know. That’s not it though. The thing is…”

  I shook my head and emptied the thoughts I had of him.

  “I spent most of my time following cheating husbands and wives,” I said as I laughed to myself. “I took pictures of adulterers. It’s not great but it’s not the worst thing in the world. It just feels kind of…”

  “Kind of what?”

  “It makes me feel insignificant.”

  “Eva, are you kidding me? You don’t always have to be saving the world. You were doing important work, even before this last case. You were making a difference for a lot of people. Just ask all of those husbands and wives who moved on from their bad relationships.”

  “I see what you’re saying,” I sighed. “I still don’t know if I could go back to it though. I don’t know what I’m gonna do. I feel lost.”

  “You’re just going through a phase, okay? You’ll get through it. And I’ll be here with you every step of the way.”

  “Yeah, I know… Thanks.”

  “Don’t mention it. Now stop being so gloomy or I’m gonna shove another sandwich down your throat.”

  “Aren’t you late for work?”

  Mya glanced at her watch.

  “I’ve still got some time. Maybe we should figure out how we can get in contact with him.”