Saving All My Lovin'

by Donna Hill

  He pushed one strap down off her shoulder then the other. His fingers caressed the crest of her breasts. She shuddered beneath his touch. He stroked her cheek. “You’re beautiful you know.”

  “Am I?”

  “Yes…you are.”

  His hands trailed across her stomach and he felt the muscle quiver. He let his fingers run beneath the band of her panties…teasing.

  She worked to unfasten the buttons of his shirt then played with the hard muscles of his chest. But what she wanted to touch was below, pulsing against her thigh. She reached down and massaged the bulge in his slacks. He drew in a sharp breath.

  “Look at me,” she whispered as she stroked him.

  Sterling looked into her eyes, his own hot and needy.

  Ann Marie unzipped his pants and released him into her hand. Sterling groaned with pleasure as her warm palm wrapped around him. She stroked him, up and down, slow and deliberate. Sterling’s eyes squeezed shut as the rippling sensation rushed through him.

  He pushed her bra aside and captured a rising nipple in his mouth. Ann Marie gasped with pleasure, cupping his head to draw him even closer. She stroked him harder and felt the beginnings of his eruption dribble across her hand. He grew even harder and longer if that were possible.

  She had to have him. Damn the consequences. Damn tomorrow and damn Terrance. She pushed his hand deeper into her panties and he fingered her until her body was a mass of shudders.

  Sterling flipped her fully onto her back. He looked down into her wide eyes as he pulled her panties down. She wiggled out of them and spread her legs bending them at the knees. He settled himself between her tight thighs, bracing his weight on his forearms. His tongue licked across her mouth, nibbled her bottom lips. She arched her hips. He pushed against her feeling her wet heat but didn’t move inside her, just teased her with the tip of his penis. She whimpered with need.

  He reached across to his nightstand and took out a condom then reared back on his knees and slowly put it on. As Ann Marie watched, that moment was suddenly the most erotic thing she’d witnessed.

  Sterling tossed the empty packet to the floor. He reached forward and cupped her breasts in each hand and gently squeezed. She shut her eyes but they flew open when she felt the pressure of him opening her up as he pressed inside her—slow, determined, harder than steel.

  Ann Marie drew in a breath that she couldn’t release when she felt him fully inside her. My God it felt so good, so right, so complete.

  He grabbed her apple bottom and pulled her upward, impaling himself so deeply inside her not even air separated them.

  And then they found that beat, that perfect rhythm that was like no other dance. It was purely theirs, something that could not be imitated or duplicated. They refined their step, created new ones without losing a beat.

  Sterling didn’t just do the sex thing, he made love to her entire body with his hands, his mouth, with whispers of endearment, words of encouragement, telling her what he wanted, asking what he could give her until it was more than either of them could stand.

  They moved faster, rotating hips and locking lips, picking up the beat until they both erupted to an explosion of tribal drums that pounded and vibrated through every muscle of their bodies.

  Ann Marie trembled as Sterling held her tight, burying his face in her neck. He placed tender kisses there even as her insides still quivered, released and contracted around the fullness of him.

  Sterling was stunned. He’d lost count of the number of women he’d bedded over the years. For the most part one blended into the other until they all seemed the same. Ann Marie didn’t fit into that category. He’d expected their lovemaking to be a great experience, but this…this was something else. It was exactly what he’d been afraid of all these years. What was he going to do now?

  Ann Marie sighed softly. She could still feel him inside her and not only in the physical sense but that place deep inside her soul. The only other person who’d touched her there had been Terrance.

  Since the day she walked out on him, she only dreamed that some other man would be able to make her feel the way that Terrance had. She’d come close on occasion and thought for sure that she would finally be able to exorcise Terrance from her mind and body. It had never happened—until tonight. But she dare not cling to this feeling or else fall victim once again to that kind of power.

  Slowly she released her legs from around his waist and wiggled from beneath him.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Mmm, hmm,” she murmured.

  Sterling reached over and pushed the damp hair away from her face. Briefly she turned to look at him then glanced away.

  Sterling rose up on his elbow and stared down at her profile. “What is it Ann Marie?”

  She pushed up from the bed, grabbed the sheet and wrapped it around her diminutive body. “Nothing. Really.”

  She walked toward the bathroom and shut the door behind her.

  Sterling flipped onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. What had just happened? Where had the woman gone that was so hot for him? He almost felt as if she was going to toss some money on the dresser and wish him goodnight. He clenched his jaw.

  Maybe it was all for the best, he reasoned. It was never his intention to get involved in the first place. It was just one of those things. Nothing more. But if that’s all it was why did he feel like he wanted so much more?

  His gaze shifted in the direction of the bathroom when he heard the shower come on. He sat up in bed, wrapped his arms around his drawn up knees. She was washing him off her body, but something deep in his gut let him know she would not be able to wash him out of her soul, at least not without a fight.

  When Ann Marie emerged from the bathroom she had a towel wrapped around her. She looked everywhere in the room except at Sterling, but that didn’t keep him from watching her. She silently gathered up her clothes and took them to the far side of the spacious bedroom. She kept her back to him as she got dressed.

  Sterling watched the scene unfold with disbelief clouding his vision. Was she actually going to walk out—just like that? That was his routine.

  Ann Marie stepped into her shoes, still without a word.

  “Is this your usual M.O.?” Sterling finally asked.

  Her head snapped up. “What do you mean?”

  He got up from the bed, naked as the day he was born and strode across the room to stand in front of her. He lifted her chin with the tip of his index finger, forcing her to look him in the eye.

  “I mean do you generally go to bed with men and then get up and walk out without a word? Is that how you operate?” His dark eyes raced over her face.

  She snatched her chin away. “I don’t know what you mean. I’m going home—where I live. I didn’t know there was a law against that.”

  “You know perfectly well that’s not what I’m saying, Ann Marie.”

  “What ya won me say? It was good for me, too?” she snapped.

  “Yeah, maybe I do,” he said softly, his voice filled with such blatant sincerity, it stopped Ann Marie short. She dared to look at him.

  She swallowed. His eyes welcomed her.

  “It was,” she whispered.

  “Is that a bad thing?” he asked, his tone soft and cajoling.

  She nodded her head. “It can be. For me it can be.” She folded her arms as if to protect herself from him.

  Sterling reached out to her. His strong fingers wrapped around her arm. “It can be for me, too, Ann,” he confessed. “I’m just as afraid as you are.”

  She slowly gazed up at him, her wide eyes luminous and uncertain. “Don’t play me the fool.”

  “I’m not.” He unwound her arms and pulled them down to her sides. “I want to give us a try, Ann Marie. A real try. And trust me, I don’t say that easily.” He ran his tongue across his lips. “I know we have a bunch of stuff to get through before we can really see the future clearly. But I think we can do it. If you want to.”

  “Do you re
ally mean that—or is it just good sex talking?” She offered up a wicked smile.

  Sterling grinned. “Hmm, good sex does have a way of clouding one’s judgment.” He rubbed his chin in thought and Ann Marie poked him in the ribs. “Seriously, though.” He chuckled and threaded his fingers through her hair. “Let’s give it our best shot. At least we’ll know that we tried.”

  She thought about how she felt when she looked at him, when he smiled, when he held her, when they made love. She knew that Sterling had cracked open the door that had remained sealed for a long time. Even Phil had not been able to get through the barricades that she’d set up around her emotions.

  The safest thing to do would be to leave now, cut this thing off before she got so entangled she couldn’t break free. That way they could both walk away with their feelings and their dignity intact. It wasn’t fair to Sterling to get involved with him while her situation and feelings for Terrance remained unresolved.

  She pressed her palms against his chest. “I’ve got to go. I have a long day tomorrow.”

  The stunned expression on Sterling’s face froze his features. Before he could recover, she reached for her purse on the chair next to her and walked toward the door.

  “At least leave my money on the table on your way out,” he shouted to her retreating back.

  Her step faltered for an instant but she kept going, knowing that if she stopped, if she turned and looked into his eyes, she would be lost.

  She opened the front door and walked out, closing it softly behind her.

  Sterling picked up a glass from the nightstand and hurled it across the room.

  Chapter 13

  Sterling couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so pissed off at a woman. For the most part he’d never cared enough to give a good damn about what they thought, felt or wanted.

  He pulled his Navigator into the parking garage next to the building that housed his law office. He barely spoke to the attendant as he usually did each morning, sharing a few barbs about whatever sporting event happened to be on the air the night before. He may have grumbled something as he tossed his keys and slammed the door shut to the oversized vehicle. He couldn’t be sure. He’d been unable to focus in on a clear thought since Ann Marie walked out on him two nights earlier.

  Walked out on him! The whole concept was so foreign to him he’d actually scratched his head in disbelief.

  He stepped out of the garage and right into a slushy puddle of icy, dirty water. A violent string of expletives shot from his mouth causing a female passerby to jump away in alarm and hold her purse close to her chest.

  “Dammit!” he spat one last time, looking down at the mess that was now his shoes and the hem of his Hugo Boss pants. He turned right and pushed through the revolving doors of the building.

  A blast of heat hit him in the face in sharp contrast to the biting chill of outside. A thin coating of snow had fallen over night but of course the streets of Manhattan, hot from the massive flow of human traffic and the underground subway system, were no more than a slush fest.

  Sterling pressed the button to the elevator and hoped that he had an extra pair of shoes in his office. The elevator door opened and his buddy Nick stepped off.

  “Hey man. How’s it going?” Nick asked, tucking his black cashmere scarf into his coat.

  “Awright.”

  Nick frowned. “Don’t sound awright,” he tossed back in Sterling’s same monotone. “Tough case?”

  “Something like that.”

  The elevator dinged.

  “There’s a gig on Friday night at Innervision. You in?”

  Sterling nodded. “Yeah, sounds good. What time?”

  “First set is eight.”

  Sterling nodded. “I gotta run. Have a case I need to go over.”

  The elevator doors slid shut.

  “Shit,” Sterling spat. He kicked the elevator door.

  Nick grabbed Sterling’s shoulder and peered into his face. “What’s with you? I know it’s not some case,” he said keeping his voice low.

  Sterling blew out an exasperated breath, rocking his jaw back and forth. “Nothing. Nothing.”

  “Bull. I know you better than that.” Nick glanced around. “Come on, you run your own show. You can get in when you damn well please. Let’s throw back some java and chill for a minute.”

  Sterling’s face was a mass of ticks and frowns. His shoulders slumped. “Yeah, awright.”

  The two men headed out, dodged traffic and darted across the street to Starbucks.

  “Want something exotic or straight up no chaser?” Nick asked as they stood in line.

  “Straight for me,” Sterling muttered.

  Nick stole a glance at him over his shoulder but Sterling’s gaze was off in the distance.

  Nick ordered two black coffees and walked with Sterling to a table in the back. He put the cups in the center of the table.

  Sterling went for his without a word and tilted the steaming brew up to his lips.

  Nick winced, knowing how hot it was, and Sterling didn’t flinch. He waited a few beats before attacking the matter at hand. “So you want to tell me what bug you have up your ass this morning? And don’t tell me its work.”

  Sterling pursed his lips in thought. He put the cup down, glanced out the window at the pedestrians hurrying by. He and Nick had been friends since law school. But what brought them together was their love of music. Sterling had spotted Nick one night in one of the local Georgetown jazz clubs in D.C. while they were both attending George Washington University. Nick was playing with a small band and Sterling was truly impressed with the brother’s skills. After the last set he went up to him and introduced himself, told him he played sax. The rest, as they say, is history. Nick hooked him up with the band he played with and they’d been buddies ever since.

  But they were more than legal colleagues, with Nick practicing corporate law, and they were more than music lovers. Nick was the one true friend Sterling had. He was the only person that he ever shared anything personal with and the same was true of Nick. However, it was Nick who was the most settled of the two. Nick was a solid, married man with two kids and a wonderful wife who was forever trying to hook Sterling up with any one of her eligible girlfriends, much to Sterling’s amuse ment.

  “You can’t keep running the streets forever,”

  Nick would regularly remind Sterling. “One of these days the right one is going to come along and blow your natural mind.”

  Seems like “the day” had arrived.

  Sterling sighed, turned away from the window and reached for his coffee cup. “It’s this woman,” he finally said.

  Nick’s brows flicked upward but he remained mum.

  “Met her a few weeks back. Beautiful, sexy, intelligent, fiercely independent.” He paused and looked at Nick. “And dynamite in bed.”

  “Sounds like the whole package. So what’s the issue?”

  “She’s not feeling me.”

  “Really? And you know this how?”

  “She walked out on me.” He snapped his fingers. “Just like that. And right after the most mind-blowing sex.” He shook his head. “I still can’t believe it.”

  “Sounds like you got a dose of your own medicine my man. Or maybe your game is falling off.”

  Sterling shot him a look of venom. “That ain’t it. Trust me.”

  “So then what is it?”

  “She’s married.”

  “Whoa!” Nick jerked back in his seat. “You’re tapping a married woman?” He leaned forward. “Are you crazy?”

  “It’s not like that.”

  “Oh yeah. So what’s it like then, Sterling?”

  “They haven’t been together in over twenty years. He lives in Jamaica.”

  The skin between Nick’s brows bunched together. “Twenty years. Hmm. So what is she doing about it?”

  “That’s the thing. After all this time, her husband locates her and wants to see her…and their daughter.”
/>   Nick blew out a breath from between puckered lips. “This is definitely a two-cup conversation…”

  Over the next hour Sterling spilled out the story of his meeting Ann Marie, his initial intention of hitting and running, getting caught up in her sensual web and how his mind and heart were now twisted out of shape.

  “Wow,” Nick said when Sterling finished. “Sounds to me that you may have met your match my brotha. Have you called her since the other night?”

  Sterling shook his head no. “Lost count of how many times I picked up the phone and put it back down. I don’t want her to think for a moment that I’m sweating her, you know.”

  Nick chuckled. “But you are.”

  Sterling grimaced. “Very funny.”

  “Hey, my advice, give the woman a call. Maybe she got scared. All sorts of things could be going through her head. She may be thinking that you may not want to speak to her now. But you’ll never know if you don’t call her. The worst thing that could happen is that she tells you it’s not going to work. And if she does, at least you will know how to move on. But rolling like this will make you crazy.”

  “Yeah…maybe.” He finished off the last of his second cup of coffee. He nodded his head. “But what if she says get lost?”

  Nick tipped his cup in Sterling’s direction and raised a brow. “Then beat it.” He chuckled lightly and Sterling smiled for the first time in days.

  Ann Marie had taken the day off from the real estate office to work at the spa. She was tired of Carol asking her what was wrong. Since she’d left Sterling’s apartment she’d been a mental mess. Every inch of her wanted to stay, to cuddle, to enjoy the pleasure of being with a man that she truly cared about. But she was so torn. How could she get involved with Sterling, risk her heart and her emotions, when things were still so unsettled with Terrance? It wasn’t fair to Sterling to drag him into the quagmire of her life, especially when she couldn’t be certain why her heart was skipping a beat when she heard Terrance’s voice or thought about the time they once shared. But she couldn’t stop thinking about Sterling and how free she felt when she was with him.