Rush (Roam Series, Book Four)

by Stedronsky, Kimberly

  He gestured to the couch, and she rolled her eyes, taking a seat. I scraped the macaroni into a small, pink bowl, watching them carefully.

  “Maybe we should go out on the porch and talk-…,”

  “No,” she pointed in my general direction, and I froze. “This is about Violet. She’s almost an adult. This isn’t about you and me, it never was. This is about you owing her an explanation, and me being here to witness it.”

  I was impressed with the cool control in her voice. I knew she could fly off the handle at any moment, but thankfully, she was keeping a check on her emotions- probably for Eva’s sake.

  “We’ve talked, Mom.”

  “Let’s hear it, then.” She sized him up from the couch with a shoulder shrug, tilting her head my way.

  He moved to the couch, lowering to the space beside her. I watched him slide his arm over the back, leaning closer to her. “I’m sorry that I hurt you. I need you to hear me say that, and know how much I mean it.”

  She opened her mouth for a moment, and then closed it, waiting.

  “I’m sorry for a lot of things in my life, Laurel. If I was given another chance, the only thing I’d ever change is walking out on you… the way that I did.”

  She lowered her eyes, and I knew he was having an effect on her.

  “I want you to know that you and Violet will want for nothing for the rest of your lives, and I’ll make sure of that. I filed for the divorce; you only have to sign the papers. I love our daughter, and I intend to build a relationship with her now… if it’s not too late.”

  Her intense blue eyes filled with tears, and she brushed a long curl from her forehead. “I hate what you did. To me. I loved you so goddamn much, West. I know… that I was sick, and I did… some things-…,”

  “Stop.” He moved even closer, and I looked away, feeling like an intruder. Eva grabbed her cup and began to pour her milk into her macaroni, and I scolded her softly. She stuck her tongue out at me.

  “I don’t want your money.” There she was- the pride in her voice gave me a second wind. Go, Mom. “I can’t help that she wants to stay here with you, and I can see that she and Eva are very close. Just tell me you love her, and that’s why you decided to put yourself in her life again. Don’t tell me you just need a fucking nanny.”

  I clenched my teeth together, stalking to the couch. “I’m here because I want to be here, Mom.”

  His eyes flashed from defensive to wounded. “I love you, Violet. I’ll hire a nanny if you feel-…,”

  “I never said I feel like a nanny. Mom, tell him I didn’t say that.”

  Laurel nodded once. “Those were my words, not hers,” she admitted. She gestured toward the toddler at the table. “And Eva’s mother?” She fired bluntly. “Where is she?”

  West kept his even stare. “She’s… gone.”

  I knew immediately that my mom interpreted his words to mean that she had died. Cringing, she reached for his hand, and he let her take it. “I’m sorry. Damn it, Violet, you let me come in here like a raving lunatic. Damn it.”

  “It’s over,” West squeezed her fingers in his, smiling up at me. “Now, we focus on moving forward. Violet has decided to do a home-school program for her senior year. Something about not wanting to go to the same high school her dad teaches at, I don’t know,” he teased, and I forced a ‘you-know-me’ laugh for my mother’s benefit.

  “And college?”

  “She has her pick,” West promised, turning toward Eva. “Now, I hope you understand… evenings are hectic around here. You’re welcome to stay, but I have to get Eva to eat some type of vegetable, give her a bath, and get her to bed.”

  “No, I’m going.” She stood, and West walked her to the door. I let them speak privately on the front porch for a few minutes before my mother’s car backed out of the driveway.

  When he stepped back in the house, I sighed. “I’m sorry-…,”

  “Violet.” He removed his tie completely while gathering a couple of random toys between the doorway and the living room. “Don’t ever apologize for my past. Come on, you need to eat, too.”

  “Is she staying in a hotel…?”

  “For tonight. We were talking about her moving to Ohio. If you’re staying, she wants to be here too.”

  “I wanna watch Mommy,” Eva pointed at the laptop, flicking her spoon to the floor. I scooped it up, knowing the battle about to ensue.

  The videos of Roam that Eva had watched over and over were no longer, and the kid was about to start screaming.

  “Mommy was in a swimming race, and I can show you. But- you have to eat the carrots I make you first.”

  “Yuck!”

  “Try them,” he corrected. He sounds defeated…

  And so very… mortal.

  “Let me,” I stopped him at the freezer door, and he wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pressing a kiss to my head.

  “Thank you, Violet.”

  “How is she?”

  He leaned against the counter, staring out the open window.

  “She’s… happy. Just young and happy.”

  I reached for the bag of frozen carrots, swallowing the enormous bulge in my throat as my nose burned. “And Logan?”

  He raised his eyebrows slightly, still staring ahead. “He’s with her. He’s… always… with her.”

  The tear that slipped down my cheek went unnoticed as I busied myself with Eva.

  West ended up buying a house near the lake for my mother, and she insisted on paying him back with interest. She found a job with a local insurance company, and I made myself a room in her new house. By Christmas she’d fallen in love with a lawyer named Michael who worked for the very same insurance company, and on New Year’s Eve he proposed to her.

  Michael was the exact opposite of West- dark hair, shorter, smaller build, and talked non-stop. He was funny, and I was glad that he made my mom laugh- and also that he took her mind off of me and my plans.

  Or non-plans.

  One evening in May, I stood in front of the children’s vitamins in Walmart, scanning the shelves for the Disney Princess bottle. Eva refused to take any others, and also refused to eat the Belle ones because Belle was “too pretty to eat.” (And West let her pick them out. God.)

  “No, you definitely want the Toy Story ones. The Little Mermaid has a fishy taste.”

  I nearly dropped the bottle of vitamins in my hand as Logan stood next to me, grinning mischievously. He wore a black tuxedo, and held a bottle of Tums in his hands.

  My heart drummed in my chest.

  Laugh. I smiled, and he smiled, and we were both just standing there freaking smiling and, for ten long seconds, I thought he knew me.

  He chuckled, glancing over my shoulder. I turned as Roam approached. Her strappy, green gown made her eyes look like purchased accessories, and her long hair was done up professionally. I’d never really seen her in make-up, and it made her appear older and… prettier.

  “Oh, you found them?”

  “I think you just need to eat, Cam. It’s not heartburn.”

  “I’m just nervous,” she admitted, flashing me the kind of amiable smile any stranger would give in the middle of a the vitamin aisle at Walmart.

  “Prom is supposed to be fun, not scary. Let’s go! Good luck with the mermaid,” Logan called to me, winking as he led her to the check-out counter.

  I drove the entire way home without crying. West had already put Eva to bed, and I made it just inside the door before crumbling.

  Managing to sob through the entire Logan/ Roam sighting account, I accepted tissue after tissue as my father comforted me on the couch. After a while, I just sat in silence, staring at the muted History Channel with my head on his shoulder.

  “Roam was… pregnant. In the castle. With my child.”

  His words, so quiet and broken, made me sit back with wide eyes. “What? During the fight?”

  He nodded once. “When Asher turned time back here, he returned her to the moment I met her, in my c
lassroom. Seventeen years old; untouched. Unbroken.”

  “I’m so sorry,” I began, but he shook his head.

  “That is what she deserves. She deserves peace. A new beginning. You do too, Violet. I wish you didn’t have to live with this pain.”

  “You saved her life. You did what you’ve been trying to do for centuries. Except now you’re mortal, and I hate to think of you dying someday, while Eva and I just live.”

  He turned to me, his blue eyes the exact same color that I saw in the mirror every single day. “I told Roam from the very beginning, and I’ll tell you now. All I’ve ever wanted was for the prophecy to end. To have our child, save this world, and be with her… finally, to be mortal. To die. Immortality is just a lifetime of memories that will never go away.”

  I sat back, considering his words. Loss was something I’d known my entire life, and I tried to multiply that times the number of lives my father had lived and suffered through.

  “She looked really beautiful,” I offered, finally burying the cold, childish resentment in my heart.

  “I know.” He reached for the remote, turning up the volume.

  Chapter Thirteen

  June 15, 2014

  “She remembers.”

  I let him take Eva from me, and she sighed sleepily as he gathered her into his arms. I had taken her to see the new Ice Age movie, not even realizing she’d fallen asleep half-way through the film.

  “Then… my mom… Morgan and Jason… Logan?”

  West pulled at her small sandals, dropping them by the door. “They remember.”

  I glanced around the living room before lowering my eyes. “I’m sorry, I just… I can’t miss him anymore. I’m not changing anything- he broke up with her, he made that choice on his own, and-…,”

  “Violet,” he reached for me with one arm, still holding Eva. I wrapped my arms around him. “I would have touched her. The moment I found her by the bookstore here… it was inevitable. I would have kissed her. Roam is my life. Thank you.”

  That night, I lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering if Logan still cared for me the way that he once did. He remembers the castle, 1955… and yet, he remembers the past two years with Roam. He has a choice.

  He doesn’t have to love me.

  Worry kept me from sleeping soundly, and early the next morning, I turned as warm feet slid under the covers next to me.

  “Vi?”

  “Hmn?”

  Eva snuggled closer, and I wrapped my arm around her.

  “Is Roam my mommy?”

  I slowly opened my eyes, gazing at her troubled face. Finally, I nodded against the pillow. “Yes. Yes, she’s your mommy.”

  “I know. Why doesn’t she know?”

  My heart broke for her. I sighed, pulling her closer. “She knows now. And she’s missed you so very much.”

  “Can I go in Daddy’s room and see her?”

  I turned and reached for my phone. 6:45 AM. “Sure.”

  She crawled away from me, breaking into a run for the door. I adjusted my pillow, narrowing my eyes as a text slid through on my phone.

  I didn’t recognize the number, but I immediately knew who it was from. Every cell in my body warmed, and I smiled, really smiled, for the first time in two long, endless years.

  I’m going to die if I don’t kiss you right now.

  With shaking hands, I texted back.

  I’m waiting.

  Waiting until nine o’clock proved to be the most difficult thing I’d ever done. I changed my clothes three times, finally settling on white shorts and a bright blue tank top to match my eyes. Wearing a path in the sand, I paced, glancing anxiously toward the house again and again.

  When I finally saw him, I broke into a run.

  In his dress blues, his hair so short, and my heart flip-flopped in my chest as I jumped into his arms.

  He caught me and, doused in sunshine, dove for my kiss.

  Neither of us could form words. I cried, refusing to let go of his shoulders, and he threaded his fingers through my hair, carrying me in his arms. “You’ve been missing. I knew something wasn’t right. I knew it all along, Vi,” he managed, his tongue parting my lips. I sighed into his mouth, so alive, needing every word he spoke like I needed air.

  Roam and West wasted no time; they planned to marry that evening by the ocean. Roam took Eva to find a dress while West organized the ceremony…

  And Logan took me to my bed.

  With his warm, naked body over mine, he took his time, slowly tracing kisses over every inch of my neck. I shivered, gripping the bedspread and searching for his eyes.

  “Do you remember… me?”

  “Jesus, Violet, I remember every part of you,” he said, his breath hot against my throat. His dark eyes pleaded with mine. “You kept me alive in that castle. I can’t believe… I’ve missed two years of you,” he whispered, his hands sliding down my sides, kneading into my skin. His mouth trailed over my collarbone and chest, and his hands cupping my breast before his lips surrounded my peaked nipple.

  “Logan,” I cried, arching against him, I closed my eyes, gasping for air. My senses came alive, remembering his touch as though we’d never been apart. I wrapped my legs around his waist, and he groaned, pulling back and holding my face steady in his hands.

  “Will you think I’m an asshole for bringing these?” He rifled through the pocket of his pants, retrieving one of several condoms. “I didn’t come here… expecting you to… are you sure you want to do this? Is this too soon?”

  I reached for the foiled wrapper, tearing it open. When I took him into my hands, he moaned, satisfaction washing over his face as I wrapped my fingers around his hardened body. “I’ve been waiting for you for two years. It was almost too late.”

  He grinned, lowering himself, his face hovering only seconds from mine as he slowly slid into me.

  The pain took me by surprise, but was quickly replaced by the perfect feeling of him, his mouth on mine, and his gentle touch and soft words.

  “I can’t believe you’re here,” he said, his fingers diving into my curls as he stilled for a long moment. I moaned, urging him to move against me.

  “Make me yours again,” I begged, disappearing into my Logan.

  The world fell away for the afternoon as we made love again, and again, and it wasn’t until I heard the car doors below the house when I realized that we had to get dressed for the wedding.

  He smirked as I reached for my robe, tugging at a long curl. “You’re hair is big,” he teased, and I glanced in the mirror, cringing at my platinum-blonde just-fucked mess.

  “Is it obvious? What we just did for three hours?”

  He laughed, shoving his hands into my hair. “I don’t think your dad has anyone on his mind but Roam.”

  I thought about his words, shrugging with a smile. “I think you’re right.”

  The wedding was at sunset, and as I watched my dad marry Roam, I knew I had done the right thing by telling her. The love between them was visible; in her tears, in his touch, and in the way they spoke their vows to each other with Eva at their side.

  Time, finally, was giving us a fighting chance.

  For almost two hours, I truly believed we could be happy. Even though Logan was mortal, and I would live forever, I wanted him for as long as he’d have me.

  I wanted him for the rest of his life.

  And just like that, the peace that I had found in our new life ended with Roam’s desperate cry.

  Everything crumbled when West realized that, by breaking the spell with his touch, he had reversed time in the other world.

  And that meant that Troy was alive.

  When they left for the fountain in Chicago, I had no idea if I’d ever see them again. They were going on the Titanic, and planned to be back the next day. Logan and I put Eva to bed and held each other all night. He talked about the castle, Troy, and Roam’s last, tortured days.

  When he spoke of boot camp, his short words and limited in
formation told me that he’d endured more than I could ever imagine. I snuggled into the crook of his arm, sighing deeply. “I’m so proud of you. For everything you did. For everything you’re doing. You fight for what you want… you’re a fighter, and I love that about you.”

  He breathed a short laugh, pressing a kiss to my hair. “You are a fighter, Violet. I think, together… we’ll be okay.”

  I smiled, comforted enough to close my eyes.

  The following morning, I made sure I was up before Eva, dressed and ready to get her breakfast. Logan beat me to the kitchen, already working diligently on what appeared to be chocolate chip muffins.

  “God, these are fantastic,” I mouthed, holding my hand beneath my chin to catch the crumbs. “How did you do this?”

  “My mom made me bake with her. A lot. I’m pretty sure she wanted a girl,” he added, diving for my lips before I could swallow. I laughed, the muffins and chocolate mingling with the taste of his kiss.

  “Vi?” Eva batted her lashes at Logan shyly, slipping behind me. Her red curls needed combed, which would surely be a fight later. “Logan had a sleepover?”

  I nodded. He squatted to her level, offering a muffin. “I heard you like chocolate chips.”

  “Only in cookies.” She rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her nightgown with a huff.

  Oh, he gets Moody Eva. The most challenging Eva of all. I crossed my arms over my own chest, looking down at her.

  “You should say thank-you.”

  “But I don’t want it.”

  “Be polite.”

  “Go away. I want Daddy.”

  “More for me,” Logan shrugged, carrying a glass of milk, plate, and a muffin to the table. I watched in surprise as he completely ignored her. “Vi, could you hand me the chocolate chips? I like to sprinkle them in my milk.”

  I kept an eye on Eva. She was definitely intrigued.

  “Sure, Logan. Sounds delicious. You want the whole bag?”

  “Yep. Unless you want some.”

  “No, thanks, go ahead.” I handed him the bag of mini chocolate chips, waiting. He tilted the bag, letting the chips drop into his milk slowly.