He sighed as he followed her to the back of the house. It took every ounce of his self-control to keep from pulling her against him and kissing her until they were both breathless and wanting.
In the kitchen, he spotted her stuff on the island, just as she’d said. He cleared his throat and, if there was a God in heaven, his voice would be normal, or at the very least, neutral.
“Yeah. Here it is,” he said.
She inspected the sizable stack of serving dishes, warming trays and assorted spoons and linens. “It looks like everything is here.”
When she started to grab the collection, he put his hand on her bare arm to stop her. Warmth from her skin zinged through him, leaving sparks that threatened to reignite that light inside him.
He took his hand away and forced himself to ignore the tingle that wouldn’t stop. “I’ll take that out for you.”
“Thanks, but that’s not necessary. It’s bulky but not heavy. I can handle it.”
“You’re pregnant,” he said simply. But there was nothing simple about those two words. They changed everything and turned his world upside down.
“Having a baby, true. But I’m not handicapped. I carry things all the time.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t. Why didn’t you send Connie to pick this up?”
“Because I can handle it.”
“For someone who was so cautious she wouldn’t even talk about her condition, this attitude seems a tad cavalier.”
The angry words told him he hadn’t achieved neutrality toward her yet.
A muscle moved in her jaw as her eyes flashed. “Okay. If you’re going to keep up the martyr routine and be snarky, there’s no reason I should soft-pedal anything. I didn’t send Connie to pick up these things because she’s pretty angry with you and I couldn’t guarantee your safety.”
He was the one who’d been kept in the dark from day one, he thought. Although her “martyr routine” crack cut deep.
“What the heck did I do?” he asked.
“You hurt me.”
“I hurt you?” he said. “Excuse me, but weren’t you the one withholding pertinent information?”
“Think back, Scott. And be honest with yourself. I tried to keep distance between us. I tried to get you to back off. But you and your pesky determination wore me down.”
“You knew from day one how I felt about being finished with raising children. All you had to say was, ‘I’m pregnant.’”
“I hardly knew you from a rock,” she snapped. “I’m not in the habit of revealing intimate details of my life to any Tom, Dick or Harry on the street.”
“You were in my house.”
“Don’t split hairs. You were a client. That didn’t entitle you to my personal, private information.”
He put his hands on his hips as he stared at her. “Has your life always been this top secret?”
“As a matter of fact, no. I used to be much more open. But that changed when I opened my big mouth to people I thought were my friends. I found out you can’t trust anyone.”
He had a bad feeling about what had put the wary, wounded look in her eyes. Maybe she wouldn’t answer, but he decided to ask anyway. “What happened?”
Her eyes glowed with anger. “It was right after David was diagnosed with cancer. He had a lot of paid time off that he could take for treatment and wanted to keep his condition just between the two of us.”
“What happened?”
“I decided that for him to successfully fight the disease, he needed the support of everyone around him, including his coworkers.”
“And?” This was like pulling teeth.
“And I found out the hard way that my husband’s instincts were right. He was one of two candidates in line for a promotion with more benefits. The other guy went to his boss and revealed David’s condition. He was advanced. David was put on administrative leave—sick leave, they said. And claimed it was in his best interests so he could concentrate on getting well. But we had to pick up the cost to keep our medical insurance in force. Administration wanted to unload deadweight.” She laughed harshly. “No pun intended.”
“That doesn’t seem right. Surely you had some recourse?”
Her mouth tightened for a moment before she said, “I wanted to fight it, but David didn’t have the stamina to battle on two fronts. And his health was the most important fight. That was when I started catering on the side to earn extra money. I was an office manager by day. But we’d opted to take our medical benefits through David’s job and after his diagnosis, he had a pre-existing condition and no insurance company would touch him. So they got away with it.”
He ran his fingers through his hair. “That’s rough.”
“It was a nightmare. A painful lesson. But it taught me to play my cards close to the vest.”
“Yeah. But, you and I—this was an entirely different situation.”
“Oh? I was here for a catering job. How was I to know you wouldn’t say pregnant caterers need not apply?”
“Now you’re splitting hairs. Besides, pretty soon you won’t be able to hide your condition.”
“I wasn’t hiding anything. And like I said, I tried to get you to back off, but you wouldn’t. I didn’t set out to make you fall for me. And I certainly didn’t intend to—” She brushed the back of her hand across her cheek. “Oh, never mind. This is pointless.”
“No. You didn’t intend to what?”
Her eyes blazed when she met his gaze. But mixed in with the sparks were tears. “I didn’t intend to fall for anyone. My goal is to bring a healthy baby into this world and raise him or her by myself to be the best human being possible. This child is a part of David. After the way I betrayed him, the least I can do is make sure his DNA will go on.”
“Are you still in love with him?”
Scott wasn’t sure what made him ask. But suddenly it was damned important for him to know.
Her chin lifted just a fraction and the sparks in her eyes burned out, leaving only the tears. “I’ll always love David.”
She looked at the stack of things beside her as she rubbed a knuckle beneath her nose. “You know, suddenly warming trays and serving dishes aren’t so important. Since we’re closing escrow soon, just leave them for me when you move out.”
She slid him a weak smile, then walked past him and out the front door.
Scott felt as if he’d been flattened by a three-hundred-pound linebacker. She still loved her husband?
“This bites,” he snapped.
He wanted to hit something. The pain might take the edge off what he felt inside.
And he had to admit Thea was right. He’d noticed her putting distance between them. And he’d planned to play it her way until his brother talked him into giving it one more try.
“Remind me to thank Mike,” he said to the empty room.
He was angry at Thea. Angry at his brother. But mostly, he was furious with himself because he still wanted her.
And he didn’t know how to make it stop.
Thea walked up the plant-and shrub-lined sidewalk to the escrow company. When the loan officer had called to set the time for signing papers, Thea had made sure Scott was already scheduled in the morning before settling on her own last appointment of the day.
As much as she ached to see him, just to catch a glimpse of him, it was best that she didn’t. He was angry and she couldn’t really blame him. It was all her fault—wrong thing, right reason. Lousy result. She had to move on with her life. She’d done it before, after David’s death. She could do it again.
After muscling open the heavy glass-and-chrome door, she walked into the lobby. Searching the building’s directory there, she found the suite number and then took the elevator to the third floor. When the doors whispered open, she stepped out into the reception area. It should have been empty. It wasn’t. Scott was there, dwarfing one of the standard waiting-room chairs.
Her body betrayed her good intentions to move on without him. Her traitorous heart h
ammered almost painfully, making it difficult to draw in air. On legs that felt about as sturdy as limp noodles, she moved farther into the room.
He looked up. For a split second, she’d swear he was glad to see her. Then his mask of cool indifference slipped into place. It was the expression he’d worn the day after the party, two weeks ago, when she’d told him why she didn’t share her personal information. She hadn’t seen or heard from him since.
“Hi,” she said.
He stood. “Hi.”
Then she got a bad feeling. “I thought you were signing papers this morning. Is there a problem?”
Translation: had he changed his mind about the real-estate deal? God knows she’d had second thoughts about living in the house that would forever hold his essence. In a weird way, that thought had actually brought her comfort. Probably because she was completely pathetic.
“No problem. Except I had to reschedule my appointment.” He lifted one broad shoulder in a careless shrug. “A crisis at work.”
At least he didn’t think she’d scheduled her appointment in order to manipulate him somehow. “I hope it was nothing serious.”
She meant that. Really she did. But it was difficult to be completely sincere. Not when the crisis had allowed her one more chance to memorize the laugh lines around his eyes, the mesmerizing blue there, and his strong, square jaw. The irony of the situation didn’t escape her. They were buying each other’s homes because they were at different places in their lives. And she had that to thank for this opportunity to see him one last time.
But the differences were also what stood between them.
“Nothing serious,” he said absently, not looking away. “How are you?”
“Fine.”
“And the baby?” His gaze dropped to her abdomen.
Her body was beginning to change and her clothes were getting a little snug. Her tummy was rounding nicely and all was as it should be, her doctor told her. Everything was fine except for her heart. It would bear the scars of knowing Scott forever. But if he made love to her now, he’d notice her belly and know about the baby. The thought put a catch in her breathing at the same time it made her profoundly sad. A time that should have been perfectly joyful was marred by things that couldn’t be changed.
“The baby’s fine.” She slid her purse strap higher on her shoulder. “My last ultrasound was normal and showed everything looks good.”
“Did you find out the sex of the baby?”
She shook her head. “I want to be surprised.”
“Are you hoping for a boy? To carry on David’s name?”
How like a man to think of that. “It never occurred to me. I guess because girls are raised knowing their last name will change when they marry. But this child will carry David’s DNA whether it’s a girl or a boy. And that’s all I care about.”
He frowned and a muscle in his jaw jerked. “You look tired. Are you sure you’re all right?”
“Fine,” she said, with a snap in her voice that she couldn’t suppress.
His rejection of her and the baby had absolved him of the right to be concerned about her. His being sweet and caring and tender was frustrating and just made everything harder.
“How’s Kendra?” she asked, to change the subject.
“I haven’t seen much of her. She’s been shopping and getting ready to move down to school. There’s a program for incoming freshmen to help them acclimate and get the most out of the college experience. It was her idea to do that and I agree it’s a smart move.”
If she’d just met him, she might have thought he was trying to get rid of his daughter. But she knew him too well now. He only wanted what was best for his child, like any loving parent.
The last time Thea had seen Kendra was the night of the graduation party. She recalled the girl asking questions about their relationship and wondered if she’d quizzed him yet. If not, Thea should warn him so he could spin it whatever way he wanted.
“There’s something you should know—”
“I hate when someone says that. The ‘something’ is never good.”
She smiled and marveled that he could make her do that, what with all the pain bottled up inside her. “I didn’t mean to be overly dramatic. It’s just that I talked to Kendra the night of the party.”
“And?”
“She asked about you and me.” Thea couldn’t quite meet his gaze. Her own settled on a spot just below his jaw, a place she’d very much enjoyed kissing.
“What did you tell her?” he asked sharply.
“Not much. I suggested she ask you.”
“She hasn’t said anything. What does ‘not much’ mean? She didn’t even know there was a you and me.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. She noticed. And she especially didn’t miss the tension between us the night of the party.”
“So what did you tell her?” Speaking of tension, his jaw tightened noticeably.
“I just said you were angry with me.”
The last time she’d seen him, Thea had forgotten to warn him about this. Not surprising since she’d had a lot on her mind. Actually not a lot. Just Scott. But he felt like everything.
“Did you tell her you’re pregnant?” he said, frowning.
“No. I thought it best that you explain.”
He ran his fingers through his hair. “Swell.”
It was on the tip of her tongue to say she was sorry, but Thea suppressed the words. Enough apologizing, already. She hadn’t set out to hurt anyone. She’d tried to be true to herself and her child. If she had it to do over, she would do things differently. Hindsight was twenty-twenty. But she could have given Kendra an earful and didn’t.
She put her hands on her hips. “Look, Scott, she asked and I had to tell her something. She’s smart as a whip and noticed things changed between you and me after Mother’s Day.” How ironic was that? “She was afraid it was her fault somehow and I wouldn’t let her think that. I told her there’s something standing between us and there’s no way to compromise.”
“Hmm.” His comment was just shy of a grunt.
Not especially helpful communication. “I didn’t think it was fair to you that I explain your feelings to her. She’s just gone through an insecure time and I didn’t want to make it worse.”
Thea stared at him, wondering how it was possible to be so angry with this man and so in love with him at the same time. The realization stunned her. She’d believed love would never again be in the cards for her. Yet it had happened. But no way would she admit as much to him. What was the point?
The door to the back offices opened and a plump blond woman stood in the doorway. “Ms. Bell?”
Thea looked at her. “Yes?”
“I can help you now.”
No you can’t, she thought. The woman had done the paperwork to make the rift between she and Scott official. He was condo; she was single-family home.
Single being the operative word. She glanced at Scott and the pain inside her expanded like a parachute after the rip cord had been pulled. It had been devastating to lose her husband to a disease she had no control over. And while he’d battled to survive, everyone had said where there was life, there was hope. She’d learned it was a lie. Scott was full of life, with so much to offer, and she had so much love to give. But it was never to be.
She met his gaze and hoped her own didn’t betray what she was feeling. “I can wait to move into the house until after Kendra leaves for school.”
He nodded. “Thanks. I appreciate that.”
“I’m ready,” she said to the escrow officer. She looked at Scott again feeling anything but ready—this was goodbye. And she couldn’t bring herself to say it. “Good luck, Scott.”
Then she turned away and followed the stranger past the point of no return. It was time to focus on her new home and getting it ready for her new baby. Forgetting the man who haunted every room wouldn’t be easy, but she would do it.
She’d learned once that life is risk
y and love was the biggest risk of all. She’d just lost again.
Chapter 15
Shaking his head, Scott surveyed Kendra’s room. This time, the chaos wasn’t her fault. Moving boxes designated for his town house were stacked against the wall. She had suitcases, several backpacks and a duffel filled with the personal stuff and school supplies that she was taking to her dorm room. All in all, the place didn’t look much different from its normal disastrous state. Except this time, he was different. He knew she was taking the clutter and confusion with her to college, and a sinkhole of loneliness opened up inside him.
Kendra walked in and stuffed a brush into the side of her backpack. “I’m starting to freak about forgetting something.”
Gail stood in the doorway. “It’s not Timbuktu. It’s UCLA. If you forget anything, I guarantee you can find a store that carries it.”
Scott settled his arm across her shoulders and forced himself not to grab her to him and squeeze her tight. He didn’t because it’s what he wanted to do to Kendra, to hang on and never let her leave home. But the reality was, they were all leaving this house.
Movers were scheduled to arrive tomorrow to take their belongings to Thea’s town house. His now. They’d choreographed moving day carefully, both of them loading up at the same time, then the trucks passing like ships in the night. As always, thoughts of Thea sent a shaft of pain-wrapped regret slicing through him and he wondered if it would ever get better.
“What do you guys want to do about dinner?” he asked. “How about I take you to L’Italiano’s. They have your favorite bread and that ravioli with the tomato cream sauce.”
The girls looked at each other for a moment, then shook their heads. How did they do that silent communication thing? he wondered.
“I want to stay here,” Kendra said, settling her duffel beside the suitcase at his feet. “It’s my last night in this house.”
“Mine, too,” Gail echoed. “Although I don’t think I feel it as much as Ken because I’ve been away for a couple years now.”
“Then what about a pizza?” he said.
Lone Star Millionaire Page 38
