A Week at the Lake
Page 34
Mackenzie looked at the friend she’d always envied. With her small curvy body and beautiful face and that overabundance of talent, not to mention her famous name—who wouldn’t choose Emma?
“I’m telling you, Mackenzie. Just in case you think Adam or I could have ever looked back on that night with any kind of fondness.” A small smile tugged at her lips. “There’s not enough tequila in the world to turn what happened between us into more than a sad and embarrassing memory.”
“Really?” Serena shot Emma a look. “All that scribbling and this is the best you can do?”
“What are you, the apology police?” Mackenzie snapped. “Just let her finish.”
Emma sighed, leafed through a few pages, then set them aside. “I promise you, if you could have seen Adam’s face, both our faces really, when we woke up and realized what had happened . . .” Emma grimaced. “Well, I don’t know which of us was more shocked or horrified. We couldn’t get away from each other fast enough. Why . . .”
“That’s enough.” Mackenzie closed her eyes expecting to combat pain. Instead she felt a surge of relief at having this far less threatening image to replace the eager caresses her brain had been conjuring.
“And of course I know I should have told Adam that I was pregnant. It was wrong of me not to,” Emma continued. “I just didn’t want to complicate things when you and he were back together. And I was so afraid of losing you.” She blew a bang off her forehead as she regrouped. “I would take every bit of it back,” Emma said. “I’d wish it all out of existence. Except then there’d be no Zoe.” Emma’s eyes glittered with tears. “And no matter what, no matter how many stupid words I put down on stupid pieces of paper, I can’t wish there was no Zoe.”
Mackenzie nodded. She hated the circumstances, hated pretty much everything that had come to light, but she would never wish there was no Zoe, either.
“And that’s the thing. I know the whole fairy godmother idea was kind of lame, but the longer I went without telling Adam or you the truth, the more impossible it became. And then when you lost your baby . . . I wasn’t trying to hurt you. I just . . . I wanted to share Zoe with you. And it was the only way I could think of that would let me share her with both of you.” Emma swiped at her tears.
Mackenzie felt tears of her own threaten. “I’ve loved being Zoe’s fairy godmother. Even when it hurt, I loved being a part of her life. Right up until you pushed me out of it.”
Serena nodded. “You pushed both of us out, without any warning or explanation. For five years. Do you have any idea what that felt like?”
“I do know. I have parents who did that to me my whole life. I’m sorry. It was just the older Zoe got the more I started noticing the things she’d gotten from her father. I guess I just panicked. I didn’t know how to tell you and I was so afraid of losing you.”
“So you just went ahead and got rid of us,” Serena said.
Emma nodded, no longer trying to stop the tears. They dropped onto her notes, wetting them and causing the ink to run and blur. “I pushed away the very people I was the most afraid of losing.” She looked up at them through the sheen of tears. “How stupid and wussy is that?”
“Extremely,” Serena replied, her eyes now glittering with tears. “I’d like to say I’ve never been stupidly wussy, but that would be a lie. And while we’re at it, I’m really sorry I didn’t process things a little bit before I accused Adam of cheating on Mac and ignoring the daughter he didn’t even know he had.” She picked up a cocktail napkin and tried to stanch the flow of tears. “Oh, God, this is pathetic. I hope that waiter/aspiring actor doesn’t have any paparazzi on speed dial. I don’t look anywhere near as attractive as Emma does when I cry.”
“Who does?” Mackenzie sniffed. But for the first time she not only heard Emma’s and Serena’s apologies, she received them, felt them sink all the way in.
Adam had told her he loved her, had always wanted to marry her, and was eager to share what lay ahead with her. She could tell herself that he was lying because she was somehow unworthy or inherently unlovable. Or she could allow herself to believe that he’d meant what he’d told her. Allow herself to finally let go of all the insecurities she’d thought she had discarded but had actually clung to for so much of her life. The ones that had made her jealous of Emma, and uncertain of Adam, and sent her scurrying back to Indiana after all the effort she’d gone to to leave it.
“Are you okay?” Emma reached for her hand and squeezed it.
Mackenzie nodded though she wasn’t a hundred percent certain it was true. Nothing any of them said or did would erase what had happened or make Zoe any less Adam’s daughter. But the time had come to make the choices that would define her and determine her future. She could cling to the old hurts, walk away from the people who’d inflicted them—including these two women whom she’d loved practically from the moment she’d met them—and continue to live a small, safe life. Or she could choose to accept the truth, come to terms with what had happened, and find a way to move on.
She squeezed Emma’s hand and reached for Serena’s as the weight she’d been carrying began to lift. Even thirty minutes ago she would not have believed they’d ever find their way back. Now she prayed that they could. “I’m better than okay. And I appreciate your apology. And I—I hope we can move forward.
“But if we’re going to be friends then I think we have to agree to complete honesty. I mean, I can see how a few lines got crossed, and I even understand how hard it might have been to speak up. But if we’re going to be able to trust each other again, we’re going to have to agree to tell the truth even when it’s risky or inconvenient—or painful.”
Serena felt both women squeeze her hands. Was she really sitting here crying in the middle of Bemelmans?
“I agree with Mackenzie. But I think we need to let go of each other right now. I’m not up for pictures of us blubbering and holding hands in the middle of a bar in the tabloids. Best-case scenario they think we’ve found religion together and are having a prayer circle. Worst case they think we’re fruitcakes communing with spirits or having a séance or something.” She smiled as they dropped each other’s hands. “Though come to think of it, I feel like I might be sensing Gran’s spirit telling us to have another drink.” She raised her hand to get the waiter’s attention.
“I know she’d be glad to see us getting our act together and our friendship back on track,” Emma said. “Speaking of which, I hope you’ll accept my sincere apology for blaming the blowup that night on you, Serena.”
Mackenzie nodded. “Me too.”
“That’s it?” Serena motioned to the sheets of paper that still lay on the table, sodden though they were. “All these pages for Mackenzie and only one run-on sentence for me?” Serena sat back giving no sign of the relief she felt coursing through her. These two women could be a royal pain in the ass, but there was no denying how much she had missed them. “Good God, the injustice!” she proclaimed, her tone and accent pure Georgia Goodbody. “I was expecting a much larger apology than that.”
“So you’re saying size does matter?” Emma asked.
“Doesn’t it always?” Serena shot back.
“I’ll drink to that!” Mackenzie said as the waiter returned with three more Gin-Gin Mules and a head shot for each of them.
The tension eased further. It would never disappear quite as cleanly as Emma’s memory of the accident and most of the coma, but Emma would have given up more than those few memories to have Serena and Mackenzie back and her secret finally shared, no matter how badly, with the people who needed to know it.
“Well, I think sincerity counts, too,” Mackenzie added.
“All right, then,” Serena countered. “I sincerely believe that size matters.”
They smiled at each other. Clinked their glasses together. Took a long drink. Fingers tinkled on the piano keys and the hum of conversation ros
e as tables began to fill. It was said that confession was good for the soul. So was forgiveness. It seemed that Gin-Gin Mules didn’t hurt, either.
A text dinged in on Emma’s phone. She read it and looked up at the others. “It’s from Zoe. She wants to know if it’s safe to come back.”
They considered each other over their cocktails.
“I don’t know,” Serena said. “I might need another mule and some lowdown on Jake Richards before I decide for sure.”
“And I want to hear what Mac’s decided about LA,” Emma said. She especially wanted to know how Mackenzie thought Adam would cope with the whole fatherhood thing, but for tonight she just wanted to enjoy these women that she’d almost lost. “Because, well, I was thinking if you’re coming out even to look around, maybe you guys would like to stay with Zoe and me for a while. You know, just till you find a place of your own.”
Another text arrived.
“I say we let her sweat it out a little longer,” Serena said as the pianist launched into a Gershwin tune. “Lindsay Lohan my ass.” She raised her glass. “And FYI—I seem to be over Brooks Anderson—can you believe it? And, well, I was wondering . . . have either of you ever noticed how cute Ethan Miller is?”
“Wasn’t that his car out front?” Mackenzie asked.
Serena nodded then picked up her cell phone. “Hold on, I’m texting Ethan to let him know everything’s okay.”
“Ethan’s definitely cute,” Mackenzie said. “And I’m glad to see you finally opening your eyes to the great guy under your nose.”
“Agreed,” Emma said. “And I’m not planning to tell Zoe yet, but I thought we’d try to work out the part on As the World Churns he offered her.” She told them her plans to spend what remained of the summer at the lake. “And Nadia’s going to stay on as caretaker.”
“Edmund will be thrilled, I’m sure,” Serena said drily.
The conversation ebbed and flowed without a stutter. There was so much to catch up on, so much to share. Emma told them about the call from Rex and the upcoming announcement of his and Eve’s divorce and Rex’s coming out.
“Oh, God, next thing you’ll be telling us you’ve forgiven Eve,” Serena said.
“Well, let’s not get carried away,” Emma said. “Though I was thinking that if Eve ever wanted to try to be Zoe’s grandmother and not just ‘act’ the part in a movie, I’d ask Zoe if she wanted to give it a try.”
They raised their glasses and took turns toasting. “To us.”
“To friendship.”
“To our week at the lake—however extended it may be.”
Zoe came around the corner to join them, and Emma’s heart filled with thanks and gladness.
Cheers, darling. And hugs to all of you. Gran’s voice sounded in her head.
“To our week at the lake!” Mackenzie said.
They raised their glasses and clinked to that, Zoe’s Coke glass added to the mix.
“I’m already looking forward to next summer,” Serena said as they prepared to down the little that remained in their glasses. “But if you don’t mind, next year I’d like to skip the whole hospital/coma thing and head right to the lake.”
READERS GUIDE
A Week at the Lake
by Wendy Wax
Discussion Questions
Did you identify with a particular character in the novel? Who and why?
Emma continues to hear her grandmother’s voice, even though she is no longer a physical presence in her life. Do departed loved ones continue to influence your own thoughts and actions?
As the novel progresses, Mackenzie and Adam’s relationship becomes increasingly strained. Did you want their relationship to survive or would they be better off apart?
Did Mackenzie harbor resentment toward Adam because he didn’t want to adopt a child? Was the blog a way of concealing her true feelings from others or herself?
When Emma’s betrayals are exposed do you sympathize with her? Who do you think was most hurt by her dishonesty? If a friend kept something like this from you, could you forgive her?
Serena’s therapist comments, “If you’re going to expend time and energy imagining scenarios, you really need to allow for the positive.” What does this say about Serena’s personality? Do you tend to think for the best or the worst in difficult situations?
How does Serena use humor to dispel her discomfort? Why do you think she constantly makes light of difficult situations?
Were you upset with Serena for rekindling her relationship with Brooks? Can you understand her choice? Do you think it was necessary for her ultimate growth?
Emma comments, “She could see how much of [Zoe’s father] her daughter carried.” Do you think personality traits and mannerisms are genetic? Have you witnessed this within your own family?
Mackenzie is very blunt with Serena regarding her relationships with married men. Do you agree with Mac? Did you feel at all sorry for Serena?
At a very young age, Emma divorces her family. What did you think of this extreme decision?
By the novel’s end, do you think there was room for reconciliation between Emma and her parents? Did Emma’s mother deserve a second chance or did she ruin it?
How does Zoe and Emma’s relationship develop throughout the novel? What are some significant turning points in their narrative?
How does Emma’s relationship with her own family affect how she parents Zoe? Were there moments when Emma was being overprotective of Zoe due to her own experiences?
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