by Shan
My eyes went over to my window after hearing a light tapping sound. Rozalyn stood on the outside of my car, her hair was a mess, her clothes seemed to be disheveled and out of place, and her eyes were glossy and low.
"You gonna sit out here all night?" she asked.
I sat my seat forward, glanced at the digital clock once again, and shook my head. I felt like some square ass nigga whose bitch took advantage of him ‘cause she knew she could get away with it. I rolled the window down, gave Rozalyn the once over and frowned. A strong aroma of another nigga’s cologne seeped from her pores letting me know what time it was. I just really hoped that she wasn’t out creeping with that fuck nigga Tamar, which would only piss me off even further and cause me to end up doing some shit to this girl that I didn’t wanna do.
I raised the window back up without even saying anything to Rozalyn and had to catch my breath and calm down before things got crazy between the two of us. I needed her to complete my task and honestly I didn’t want to lose her to that chump. After a few moments, I got out of the car and went into Rozalyn’s home, I could hear the water running from the back bedroom and laughed at how quickly she’d gone to take a shower. I made my way to her bedroom, looked around until I spotted her cell phone sitting on the nightstand. Checking over my shoulder to ensure that she wasn’t coming, I walked over to the nightstand and retrieved her phone, pressing the button at the bottom that lit the screen up. Text message after text message had came from Tamar’s phone and a few missed calls from him as well.
“What are you doing?” Rozalyn walked over to me and jerked the phone out of my grasp.
“Is that who you were with tonight, while you had me waiting five or six hours for your ass to come home?” I asked.
“I told you earlier when I talked to you on the phone that I had a meeting with someone; afterwards I went out for some drinks with Brian.”
“Yea, and that’s why you coming up in here smelling like that nigga’s cologne!”
“Look, I don’t know what you trying to accuse me of but Tae is bringing the kids over early in the morning and I need to get some sleep before they get here. I’m tired,” Rozalyn walked away.
“Aye, come here. I’m not done talking to you!” I rushed after her, grabbed her by her arm but she jerked away, tripped and fell into the dresser, hitting her head on the corner of it. “Oh shit!”
I brought my hands up to my head, shook my head dizzily as shock took over my body. Looking down at Rozalyn, I couldn’t tell if she was dead or alive. Blood was squirting from a big gash in the center of her forehead, her eyes were closed, and she didn’t seem to be breathing. I took a seat on the bed and tried to figure out what I was going to do next. If she was dead, there was no doubt the blame would be put on me, sending my ass right back upstate behind them damn bars. There was no way I was going to allow that shit to happen. All I did was grab her and she was the one that pulled away and tripped over her own damn feet.
“Fuck! What am I supposed to do?” I wondered aloud.
Just when I thought I was more fucked than the first time I went to jail, I noticed Rozalyn’s leg move around. I took a deep breath, let it out, and ran to her side.
***
“Careful, careful!” I said as I helped Rozalyn out of the car.
I sat at the hospital with Rozalyn for hours praying and happy that she was okay. I was questioned so many times by various hospital staff that I started to believe the lie I was telling myself. There was no way I could tell them the truth about what happened regardless if it was an accident or not. I knew if I admitted that I grabbed her they would take it for what it wasn't and lock my ass away.
After they bandaged her wound and ran a few tests on her, they discharged her with directions to stay off her feet and get as much rest as possible. I drove her home with few words said between us. I didn't know if she remembered what happened being she didn't bring it up.
“What the fuck happened?” Tamar asked.
“I’m okay---hey boys,” Rozalyn said wearily.
Her speech slurred from the pain medication that they’d given her at the hospital. She looked like she’d just gotten out of a massive fight. A huge knot had formed around the gash, blood had dripped onto all of her clothing, and her hair was all over her head.
“I got it from here playboy. Kick rocks nigga.” Tamar said a little too eagerly.
I nodded my head and went back to my car knowing the nigga was just putting on a show ‘cause his shorties were around. If he really was talking about doing something he would’ve done it already. Fools like him only ran their mouth because they had one and didn’t know what else to do with it. I’m sure that muthafucka wouldn’t know how to bust a grape. He was a fuckin’ rich boy living in the damn suburbs, driving around in fancy cars, and blowing money like there was no tomorrow. Cowards like him didn’t scare me one bit. I’m sure he didn’t know the first part about getting gutter, as a matter of fact, I’m about to show him how gutter I can get.
I got in my car, slammed the door shut, and quickly cranked it up. I watched on in anger as Tamar opened the door for Rozalyn, swept her off her feet and carried her into the house. The fool was trying to pull out all stops to get shorty back and I wasn’t about to let this shit happen too. He’d already taken everything else from me, my money, my status, and now the first chick that I had cared about since before getting locked up. This shit was getting more and more personal by the minute.
I backed out of the driveway, drove about five or six houses down, and parked the car before hopping back out. I looked around to see if anyone was looking and when I didn’t see anyone, I pulled out my pocket knife, and headed back towards Rozalyn’s house.
“This shit better work this time,” I said with a smile. “Light’s out bitch!”
15:Tamar
“Did he hit you Rozalyn? That’s what I wanna know. You ain’t making any sense to me right now,” I yelled surveying the damage to Rozalyn’s forehead.
“No, I told you he didn’t hit me. I tripped and hit the dresser. He never put his hands on me so calm down.”
“You sure? Don’t lie to me and don’t try to protect him!”
“I’m not lying Tae, he never put his hands on me. Can you please stop yelling? You making my head hurt worse,” Rozalyn said as she propped a pillow up on the couch.
“Yea, a’ight. I’m about to go take them to my moms and I’m a be right back. Do you need anything before I leave?”
“No, I’m just gonna lay here and take a nap. I’m really tired right now.”
“A’ight, I’ll be right back.”
“Give me a kiss Marion before you go. Mama will see you later, okay?”
Tamarion jumped up on the couch, gave Rozalyn a kiss on her lips, and then gave her a hug. The look on his face told me that he knew something wasn’t right with his moms. Instead of letting her go, he continued hugging her until the twins came over and got in his way. They showered her with hugs and kisses, only pulling away when I made them. This was the reason I hated my family had been split apart in the way that it has. My boys needed their mom around and not some wannabe that Kari was being. She didn’t know the first thing about being a mother and acted like one whenever she felt I was watching. Even if Rozalyn chose to never get back with me, I was about to get rid of Kari’s leaching ass real quick. I finally admitted to her that I was the reason for my divorce being held up hoping that would make her move around without me forcing her hand but it only made shit worse. She was needier than she’d ever been and the shit was bugging the hell out of me. I looked forward to my days of being out on the road handling business or just whenever I was out of the house just so I could be away from her.
I leaned over and kissed Rozalyn on the cheek, watching as she drifted off into sleep. I grabbed her keys from the coffee table, and motioned for the boys to follow behind me.
After putting the boys into the car, I cranked the car up and started to back out of the driveway. I slamm
ed on the brakes after hearing a pounding noise against my back window. I reached for my .22 that I had tucked away in a hidden compartment, cocked it, and rolled my window down.
“Aye bro let me holla at you for a minute!” Sy yelled as he approached.
“Nah, but you can holla at this .22 nigga! What the fuck you trying to do?” I asked making my pistol visible.
“I thought you were leaving the kids with Rozalyn. What’s up? What happened?”
“Aye, hell is wrong with you? Fuck you questioning me about my kids for nigga?” I jerked my seatbelt off, placed the truck in park, and jumped out.
“I’m just saying. That’s the reason Roz rushed from the hospital ‘cause she knew you was coming through to drop the kids off.”
“Say I’m a give you a fair warning. Stay the fuck away from Rozalyn and stay further away from my damn shorties! Get that in your head!” I pointed the hammer in his direction and watched as he backed away. I knew this fool was a damn lunatic! Only if I could get Rozalyn’s ass to see this shit; see that this dude was out of his damn mind, but her ass never saw shit for what it really was. Sy was supposed to be gone a long time ago but yet he popping up behind my truck asking me about my damn kids like he was up to something. That didn’t sit well with me and because of it; this was the last time they were coming around here no matter what Rozalyn had to say. If she wanted to see them again, then she would just have to bring her ass to the house.
Perfect for me. I thought as I got back in my truck and this time backed out, speeding down the block.
“Aye!” I answered the phone once I saw Dmitri’s name pop up.
“Tamar, we need to talk,” Dmitri said.
“Last time you said that to me, you accused me of stealing. I really don’t have anything to talk to you about,” I said as I came to a red light.
“Listen, about that, I just want to apologize to you. My dad had really been on my ass and the shit was stressing me out. I took it out on you and I shouldn’t have. Let’s meet up so we can talk about some things that I think will be very beneficial to you.”
I laughed, “Talk to Sy, Dmitri. I’m sure you’re aware that I’ve made a deal with the Mexicans. That’s where my loyalty lies now and you know how I am about loyalty.”
“I understand that. I think we can work something out with Rico and his dad if you can just hear me out. You know you’re like my son--”
“I used to believe that I was like your son Dmitri. I had a lot of respect for you up until that very day but honestly I just can’t fuck with you or your pops on that level anymore,” I said and hung up the phone.
I tossed the phone to the passenger seat, turned the volume up on the stereo, and smashed the gas as I entered the freeway. I knew that it wouldn’t be long before Dmitri or his pops came calling me. It had only been a few months since I hooked up with the same cats that had been nearly taken down along with me and Dmitri almost a couple of years back. The same dudes that I had to hide my family in Puerto Rico for in fear that they would come after them thinking that I had set them up when in actuality it was that fool Money that I had brought on my team and trusted with my life. I was able to get the situation resolved back then with no blood really lost and no harm done to our business relationship. Rico’s father Ricardo had been watching Donald make millions and millions of dollars off of me and was eager to get me on their team so that he could take over and finally get his share of the big ass pie we were all trying to eat off of.
I don’t know what Dmitri was thinking of when he came at me the way that he did. He should’ve known that I was the only reason that he and his father were able to see more money than they ever had. I established the relationship with the streets, got my hands dirty while they sat back and pretty much played the banker. My customers didn’t know Dmitri, didn’t know Donald, and they damn sure didn’t know Sy. There was no way if they were smart that they would cop from some muthafuckas that they had never seen in their lives. Because I had been dealing with most of these people for years, they would follow me wherever I went, even into retirement. You had to be smart in this game if you ever wanted to make it, and getting rid of me was the dumbest thing one could do.
“Turn it up daddy!”
I glanced over my shoulder to see all three boys bobbing their heads to “Bag of Money” by Rick Ross. I chuckled to myself then pumped the volume up, bringing in a little bass from the dynamic sound system that was installed. I looked down at the dashboard and noticed that I was going eighty-five miles an hour; a little too fast being I had the kids in the car. I slightly pressed down on the brakes but the peddle went all the way down to the floor seeming as if it didn’t have any pressure behind it. Suddenly my brake lights came on, a loud beeping noise mixed with the sound system, and panic began to set in. I glanced back at my boys once more and noticed that they were still entranced by the song and was unaware of what was going on. I just had to get the car to slow down on its own and everything would be cool. This was a brand new fucking truck that I just purchased a few months ago after my other truck was blown the hell up so I didn’t understand why the brakes would be failing.
The speedometer slowly winded down as it reached sixty and then fifty, my heart rate slowed a little thinking a few more miles down the stretch of the freeway and it would slow down even more. I nodded my head along with the kids to keep them distracted and their minds off of what was going on. The last thing I needed for them to do was panic and start hollering and screaming.
I put my signal on, got over in the right lane, and wondered if I should get off at the next exit or wait until the one after. Just as I passed up the next exit a car cut in front of me, I slammed the brakes out of reflexes, the car jerked to the right, to the left, and then back to the right again. The speedometer suddenly read seventy miles per hour as I lost control of the car and veered off into the exit I hadn’t planned on taking. Things suddenly went black as the front end of the car slammed into a hard brick wall. BLAM!
16:Rozalyn
BAM! BAM! BAM!
DING DONG! DING DONG!
I was laying on my couch in a deep sleep, slob dripping down the side of my mouth, confused for a moment about where the hell I was when I heard someone going crazy on my door. I figured it was Tamar because he said that he would be back after he dropped the boys off with his mom. I slowly got up from the couch, brought my hand up to my head, and flinched at the pain of the wound and knot that had formed on my forehead. I couldn’t believe that I tripped the way I did and damn near killed myself by running into the dresser. I know that if Messiah wouldn’t have grabbed a hold of me the way that he did then it probably wouldn’t have happened but I didn’t blame him for it knowing that it was an accident.
“Who is it?” I asked and pulled the door open without waiting for a response.
Standing in my doorway was Taron and my brother Kevin, whom I hadn’t seen in a couple of months. They both looked concerned, angered, and like they would snap at any moment. I looked back and forth between each of their faces and waited on one of them to say something to at least let me know what was going on.
“Dude got you that occupied that you can’t answer your damn phone?” Taron asked with a menacing glare.
“Taron, I’m so sick of you coming over here like you my—“
“Roz, Tamar and the kids were in an accident. They are all doing okay except for Zavier. He’s in critical condition.”
My brother Kevin reached out to grab me before I fell to the floor. I had suddenly became light-headed, my body became fluctuated with heat, and several flash backs began to shoot through my head. Memories of my brother Zavier being killed by Tamar’s brother Taron rushed through my head. The bullet hole that sat in the center of his head, the blood that leaked out onto the floor, and the fact that he was killed due to no fault of his own ran through my head hitting me hard with no mercy. I wondered if I’d jinxed my child in some kind of strange way by naming him after my deceased brother. I wanted his
memory to live on through my child being we would never get a chance to see his. His girlfriend Jazlene found out that she was pregnant shortly after he’d been killed but unfortunately no one has been able to contact her. My daddy Korey has tried numerous times to get in contact with her along with me and Kevin but we’ve had no such luck. I’ve always wondered what my niece or nephew looked like, what they sounded like, and if they were doing okay. One day I would put more of an effort into finding Jazlene the same as I would work on getting Shanya back and out of the system.
“Look we need to get you to the hospital. Tamar just called and said they need blood for Zavier. Let’s go!” Taron said.
Lord please don’t let me lose another child. Lose this Zavier too. I thought to myself as I followed Taron and my brother Kevin out of the house.
***
I rushed through the automatic double doors of the hospital’s emergency room, and scanned the room for anyone that I knew. I didn’t see Tamar, Tamarion or Zyir so I raced over to the nurse’s desk to see if they could point me in the right direction. The whole ride over here was a slur of different images, everything that Kevin and Taron discussed in the car sounded like gibberish to me. The only thing that kept running through my head was that my baby wasn’t doing so well. The thought of losing him just when I was getting to know him again felt so surreal since I lost my brother Zavier just when I was getting to know him. My son Zavier had been without me for a year and now I had to face the fact that he could die and that hurt more than anything in this world.
“Excuse me,” I said to the lady behind the big round desk.
“Yes?” she looked up at me with a huge smile that quickly changed to a look of concern.
“Umm, my husband and my three sons were brought in here after an accident. Can you tell me where they are?”
