by Shan
"How is Journey?" I asked referring to his girlfriend.
"She a’ight---but that's not what I wanna talk about. Look at this shit man," Taron reached in his pocket and pulled out a crumbled up piece of paper and handed it to me. I straightened out the paper as best I could and noticed it was from a lab.
Wait. Did Tamar tell Taron about the twins not being his? I wondered to myself.
"Oh, did he tell you?" I asked.
"Did who tell me what? The damn lab told me."
"What? They gave you this? Did Tamar give you permission to get his results?"
"What the fuck is you talking about? His results for what? That's my shit!" Taron frowned and sipped on the remainder of his beer.
I looked at the paper closer and noticed that Zyir and Zavier's name was not listed but Keymani Daniels and the mother was listed as LaToya Daniels. I shook my head from side to side and eyed the paper with total disbelief. It said that there was no way possible that any other male could be the father of Keymani but Taron Andrews. I now knew what the conversation was regarding the day I overheard him at his mom's house.
"Oh my God Taron. What the hell?"
"One fuckin' time Roz! One time I was with her! I was drunk as hell and she came by the club while it was still under construction, we both drank and smoked and one thing led to another but I swear to you that it never happened again after that. Man I can't believe this shit! Keylan was my fuckin' dude and I know once Tamar finds out about this he will never talk to me again," Taron huffed and lowered his head.
"Oh wow. I don't know--I don't know what to say."
"She’s threatening to call Journey and tell Tae! The bitch put me on child support even though I was giving her ass money every week for the past three months. She talking about she did it because I haven't been to see her!"
"What, do you not wanna see your child? Why haven't you seen her?"
"I don't know! I don't know! I'm just trying to figure out how to deal with this shit man. I got my man's girl pregnant, yo. I need you to tell Tae, tonight when you see him. Can you tell him for me?"
"What? Oh hell no!" I protested. There was no way I was going to tell Tamar shit! He'd already gotten news that Zyir and Zavier wasn't his and this fool wanted me to give more betraying ass news. Hell no! No! No! No!
"Come on Roz! There is no way I can tell him this shit but he gotta know because I need to see Keymani, I need to get to know my daughter before its too late. I'll deal with Journey but I need you to tell Tamar for me. Please?" Taron begged.
I looked down at the paper once more and knew that it would kill Tamar to hear this. Disloyalty was what he hated more than anything and as far as he knew Taron was the only one left with a little loyalty in him.
I nodded my head and agreed that I would mention the information I found out to Tae. I didn't know what Tamar wanted to see me about but I had to find a way to bring it up in our conversation.
***
The whole ride to meet with Tamar was like a blur. I had no idea what he wanted to see me about because he hasn't really spoken to me since we got the DNA results back. Out of the blue he text me and asked if I could meet with him and I agreed. I figured maybe he was going to tell me that he would finally take the divorce seriously and do what needs to be done to get it finalized. Since we didn't complete the counseling session within a timely manner, the case was closed out and now everything has to be done all over again. I honestly didn't know what Tamar's problem was. I no longer wanted to continue a relationship with him and I was confused on if he still wanted to be with me.
"Okay," I walked into the empty restaurant looking around cluelessly.
"Hello!" I called out unsure if I should turn around to leave.
The environment felt a little creepy and knowing how Tamar was, it felt like some kind of set up. He was so unpredictable with his moods and with me dating Messiah so publicly, and the twins not being his, I wouldn't put anything past him.
"Hello!" I yelled once again.
"Stop yelling," Tamar said into my ear causing me to damn near jump out of my skin.
"Fuck! You scared the shit outta of me! Don't do that!" I said hitting him in his chest.
Tamar laughed, "Where the boys?"
"Kevin is watching them. What's up? Where is everybody at?" I looked around again.
"It's just us. I wanted us to be able to talk without any ears. Come on," Tamar grabbed my hand and pulled me into the dining area of the restaurant.
In the middle of the room there was a single table lit up with candles, while soft music played in the background.
"No, no, no. What is this! Tamar let me go! Let me go!" I pulled away from him to leave when he wrapped his arms around my waist to stop me.
"Just sit down with me for a few minutes. Please?" Tamar begged.
"Candles and shit. You said we were gonna talk about some issues that's been bothering you. The hell is going on Tamar?"
"We gonna talk about all of that. Just sit down with me for a few minutes. That's all I ask. Just listen to everything I gotta say. I'll blow the candles out, turn the music off and all of that."
"Yea okay," I pulled away from his grasp, crossing my arms over my chest, and waited.
I knew he was up to something but I wasn't expecting this. All this romantic shit could only mean one thing. Tamar was trying to get me back under his hold and he knew the way to go about doing so. I was not about to let it effect me though, Messiah and I were going heavy right now and I decided after today that I would give him my full attention. He deserved that and more.
Once Tamar blew the candles out and cut the music, I walked over to the table and sat down but never let the mean mug leave my face.
Tamar joined me at the table staring at me with that sexy ass grin of his; the mischievous one he would wear when he was up to something. All you could see was the shine of his gold teeth but that smile held so much power.
"You don't have to look so mean. We just talking."
"Talk then Tae. I’m listening."
"What's up with you and this Sy dude? I see you still talking to him knowing that I prefer you didn't."
"Is this the issue that you needed to speak with me about?"
"Do you love him? Is it that deep? You going out to eat with him, to the movies and shit. Dude taking you shopping. What's up? What's going on?"
"What, are you following us? How do you know what we're doing? Shouldn't you be with your fiance planning your damn wedding?"
Tamar sucked his teeth, "Aye, I never proposed to her. The bitch bought that ring while I was in the hospital after the explosion of my car. I'm not trying to marry her."
I turned my lip up and grabbed the bottle of champagne that sat on the table. I poured myself a glass and then slowly sipped.
"Real shit. She knows that I never got over you and the reason why we're not divorced yet is because I'm still holding on to what we had. I finally admitted that to her."
"What we had is exactly what it was. Tamar you have made my life a living hell since we split. You took our kids away and had them people take Shanya away. Zavier and Zyir barely know me and Shanya is living in the damn system."
"I didn't have them take Shanya away. I didn't know that they were gonna do that and as far as the boys go---I'm sorry. I should have never kept them from you. That was fucked up and---," Tamar sighed. "I know I can't take it back but honestly I'm sorry for that."
I didn't respond to his apology because I didn't understand it. Why now? Why did it take me fucking another man for him to apologize and see that he was wrong? If I'd known that was all it took, I would've done it months ago.
"Do you love him?" Tamar asked seeming as if the question took his breath away.
"Yes---I honestly do love Messiah. I'm happy with him and I want you to be happy for me," I answered knowing that it was only partially true. I was happy with Messiah but love, that's a powerful word.
Tamar scoffed, "Did you really just say that shit to me?
Be happy for you?"
"Do I not deserve it; to be happy?"
"Yea, you deserve that and more but I wanna be the one to make you happy. Not sit back and watch another man do so."
"Do you even know how to make me happy Tae?" I asked laughing at the whole idea.
"Fuck is that supposed to mean?"
"It means that I don't think you know how to make yourself happy let alone anyone else. You so stuck on this perception that men of your caliber are too good to have feelings. You have a problem with women being in control and it irks you to see a chick making it without you, yet you holler about wanting an independent woman. You can't keep your hands to yourself, you’re verbally abusive, manipulating, and can't keep your dick in your pants. What part of all that is supposed to make me happy? I can keep going if you’re confused."
Tamar blew out air and leaned back in his chair. He then sat forward and was about to speak but a waiter approached our table carrying two plates of hot food.
"Can I get you anything else?" the waiter asked.
"Nah, we good for right now, ‘preciate it," Tamar answered.
The waiter walked away and Tamar brought his stare to me. I could see that what I said to him hit him pretty hard.
"You never even gave us a chance at happiness from the very time you slept with my best friend," Tamar shot at me.
"Oh, here we go again," I huffed.
"Yea exactly cause you always wanna talk about what I did but never wanna talk about what you did. Damn, you fucked my dude at Keylan's wake. The kids that I've been thinking were mine all this time belong to that fuck nigga Brandon and you wanna throw salt my way like you haven't done shit!"
I rolled my eyes, pushed my chair away from the table and got up to leave. I know what I did was wrong but damn can he blame me? After all I went through with Tamar; I just felt the need to rebel. I loved him so much but all I got in return was bullshit. The twins being Brandon's wasn't planned and was never supposed to happen. If I could go back and change any of the mistakes I made, that would be one of the first; never sleeping with Brandon.
"Come here man," Tamar grabbed me and pulled me into his arms. "I still love you Rozalyn."
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath when Tamar stuck his tongue in my ear. His touch always did something to me which is why I tried to stay plenty feet away whenever I was in his presence.
"Tae, stop," I moaned.
Tamar ignored my protest, picked me up, and sat me on one of the nearby tables. I brought my foot up to push him back but he pushed his way through and stood between my legs. My pussy lips jumped out of excitement and my body shivered in fear.
"Love you Roz," Tamar leaned in to kiss my lips but I turned my head. He sucked on my neck and slid his hand up my dress, fiddling around until his finger was over my clit.
"Tae---come on now. I don't wanna do this."
"Look, I ain't going nowhere. After all this, I still wanna work it out with you. I want us to be a family again Roz."
“But I don’t wanna do this….I don’t—“
"You don’t have to do anything. Just let me do me,” Tamar said into my ear.
Before I knew it he was down on his knees with is head positioned between my thighs. I looked around the restaurant nervously, looked towards the entrance, and then down at Tamar. Part of me wanted to stop him but of course once his tongue dipped into my wetness there was no coming back from it. I leaned my head back, wrapped my legs around Tamar’s head and braced myself for what I knew was an exciting orgasm to come.
“Damn,” I moaned.
Excitedly I grinded my hips as Tamar lapped my pussy with his tongue, slurping me up like a dog left in heat. He sucked my clitoris, licked and pulled at it. My legs began to tremble violently as I gripped Tamar’s head and pulled him in closer. He pushed my legs further back towards my head and dove in deeper, using his tongue like a drill, drilling inside of me, round and round, round and round. I could feel myself getting closer and closer to my peak and the slurping noises made me get that much closer.
“Ohhhhh!” I cried.
I pushed Tamar’s head away but he gripped my waist tightly and continued pleasuring me until my juices squirted out all over the table, his face, and down my butt. I huffed and puffed to slow my heart down, stared at Tamar, and couldn’t help but smile.
Shit! I thought. He ain’t never ate my pussy that damn good. I know he don’t think he winning.
Tamar bit his bottom lip as he stood to his feet, positioned his self between my legs, and leaned in for a kiss. This time I didn’t turn my head, I took his lips into my mouth, sucked them, sucked my juices away, and closed my eyes when I felt his hardness enter me with such sensitivity.
“I need you back home,” Tamar said before kissing all over my neck and chest.
“Tae, can you stop!” I said pushing him back. “Stop, stop! I don’t wanna do this and I don’t appreciate you bringing me here without telling me what’s going on!”
I pushed Tamar as far back as I could, jumped off the table, and went for my purse. Feeling him inside of me almost made me forget how good he felt, how much of a perfect fit he was for me. I didn’t need anything getting in the way of me making sound decisions. I’d been doing so well and the last thing I needed was for this nigga to get in my head again and have me all fucked up.
“Rozalyn come here, you trippin’!” Tamar yelled and reached out to grab me but I backed away and tried to move around him.
“No Tae, stay away from me. Don’t call me if it’s not concerning our boys. Just leave me alone! Please?” I begged.
“Damn, do I gotta get on my knees and beg you? What the fuck?”
“No, I don’t want you to beg me Tamar—I just want you to leave me alone and let me be. This is what’s best for us.”
“How the hell you gonna say what’s best for us? I’ve been fucked up since we parted ways, this shit can’t be what’s best. Come here and let’s talk about this.”
“I don’t wanna talk about it Tae, I don’t,” I wiped my face with the back of my hand, aiming to get rid of tears that were beginning to fall.
I just felt like Tamar set me up knowing that this was all it would take to get me back where he wanted me to be. I just couldn’t go back, back to when I was so weak and unable to think for my damn self. He didn’t understand what it meant to love someone or to even allow someone to show him love. I’m not fully blaming Tamar for all the wrong that I’ve done to him but I did partially blame him. His ways had rubbed off on me, Brandon, and everyone else around him. Someone that possessed as much power as Tamar did was automatically put into a position of being a leader, a leader that had no idea on how to lead others. He led recklessly and because of that those around him followed recklessly. If he’d loved strong and without fault, those around him would’ve done the same.
One thing I’ve learned since being away from Tamar is to lead my own life, think for myself, and most importantly do for myself. Tamar was a huge weakness for me and since I knew that, it was best for me to stay as far away from him as possible.
“There’s nothing to talk about. It’s too late,” I sighed. I placed the crumbled up DNA results that Taron gave to me earlier in Tamar’s hand and walked towards the door.
“Don’t say it’s too late. After all we’ve been through, you gonna say it’s too late? Rozalyn, don’t walk away from me! I’m begging you! Please?”
“I’m sorry Tae. I just can’t,” I unlocked the door to the restaurant and left without so much as looking over my shoulder. Water flooded my eyes and threatened to fall but I held them back, held my head up high, and made my way to my car. I knew that this decision was the best decision I’d ever made in my entire life.
14: Messiah
Tick-tock. Tick-tock.
I could literally hear the sounds of time ticking away as I sat in my car waiting and watching for Rozalyn to return to her home. The minute I left Donald's crib, I came straight to Rozalyn's house. I noticed that sh
e wasn't home but once again didn't check to make sure her garage door closed all the way. I decided to sneak in while she was gone and roam through some paperwork she had lying around, fishing around for any financial information she may have had lying around. Once I didn't come up on any relevant and useful information, I came back to my car and waited.
Sitting on the darkened street, I surveyed the clock for each minute that it changed. My stare never left the clock, watching, and wondering how long before I got tired of sitting here. Hours had gone by, the light had turned into night, and the innocent were in their beds sleeping. Only fools, drug dealers, and murderers were out and about at a time like this. Rozalyn wasn't a damn murderer; her baby daddy was the drug dealer, so a fool she had to be. A fool I must've been as well to actually sit here waiting and watching for her to return.
My mind kept going back to Donald's statement about Tamar being worth fifty million dollars and I couldn't help but wonder if Rozalyn had any of that money. Just looking at her home, I knew that it was impossible for her to be able to afford it and drive a brand new car working at a beauty shop. She barely even did hair and most of the time, sat around telling other muthafuckas what to do. She hadn't even worked a day in the past couple of months and not once did she ever ask me for a dime to help out on a bill.
That nigga had to be giving her money or gave her money that she had stashed away. I wasn't trying to steal anything from her but I needed to know if she was aware of Tamar's worth and if so, what info did she have that could be beneficial to me.
I'd been slaving my ass off for Donald and Dmitri these past few months and had only made a couple hundred thousand dollars. In the beginning, I had only wanted to make Tamar suffer and then kill him but now things had changed. He'd taken so much from me while I was locked up and it was only right that I took it back. That money that he was sitting on was partially mine. He didn't get my permission to set up shop here in Miami or use my soldiers to sell his work, and I damn sure didn't hand him my crown. Everything I had before I went down Tamar had snatched from me and it was only right that I snatched it back.
