A Step Two Close

by Jaimie Roberts

  That was a mistake. The moment I placed my hand on his, he looked down at it and then back up at me.

  I snatched my hand away. “I’m sorry,” I offered. I knew this would be awkward.

  “Sorry for what, Ayden? You can touch me, you know. You and I both know that it doesn’t mean anything now. It can’t.”

  I nodded. “I know that, too, but it doesn’t stop it from seeming awkward.” I sighed and walked over to the bin to put the ripped pieces of paper in. Whilst I was there, I thought I may as well put the flowers in, too.

  “I know things are going to take a bit of adjusting, but we’ll get there.”

  Mason smiled. “You know, you’re very mature for someone so young.”

  I shrugged my shoulders. “Living with my mother, I’ve had to be.”

  Oops! Fucking great, Ayden!

  Mason frowned. Of course he would! “What do you mean?”

  My heart started suddenly beating wildly. “You know... with what we lost. I had to grow up pretty fast after everything that happened.”

  Mason gritted his teeth as if he thought himself stupid for not realising. “Of course. I’m so sorry. It can’t have been easy for either of you.”

  I shrugged, trying to make light of it—even as I felt my chest constrict. “It is what it is, Mason. It was a long time ago now, and I’ve moved on. I’ve had to.” I knew that was a barefaced lie; I hadn’t moved on. That’s why the closer it gets to my birthday, I go out and drown my fucking sorrows until I can’t think straight.

  Mason sighed. “Still, it can’t be easy.” He looked at me a moment like he was contemplating what to say next. “If ever you want to talk, I am here... as a friend. You can talk to me about anything.”

  I regarded him a moment wondering if there was a hidden meaning to what he said. Man, I was becoming paranoid.

  Instead, I smiled. “Thank you. I appreciate that.”

  “There you are. I’ve been looking for you.” My mother breezed in, capturing Mason’s arm like he was going to somehow disappear at any moment. I also didn’t fail to notice the obvious disgust that registered on her face when she saw that we had been talking alone.

  “I was just asking Ayden how things are going with Hunter.” Mason smiled down at my mother.

  “That’s nice. I hope we can all become one big, happy family.”

  I almost laughed. Almost.

  “Dinner will be ready soon.” Just as she said this, Hunter appeared, and my mother cooed in his direction.

  I seriously wanted to throw up.

  He looked at me and all around the living room. He was obviously trying to find the flowers. The smug look on his face didn’t go unnoticed.

  Arsehole!

  “Before we sit down, I wanted you both to know that we will be having an engagement party next Friday night. We trust that both of you will be there?” My mother looked at both of us.

  I nodded and Hunter said, “Of course.”

  “Good. Just so you know, we will be heading off first thing on Saturday to a swanky hotel in Buckinghamshire. We won’t be back until late on Sunday. I trust that you two can behave yourselves whilst we’re away.” My mother laughed, making me feel sick again.

  Hunter raised an eyebrow in my direction.

  Shit. Next weekend was going to be a living hell! I guess I would just have to stay the night with either Mandy or Christian. I knew that if I stayed home, I would cave; I just couldn’t control my body when I was around him.

  *****

  I was asleep in my bed and was having a terrible nightmare that someone was holding me down. I could smell the distinct aroma of cigar smoke, and it burnt my nostrils.

  The next thing I felt was a hand lifting up my top. I tried to pull it down, but I couldn’t move. Then, there was the pain. The agonising pain and the smell of burnt skin.

  I woke up with a start, trying to scream, but my mother had her hand over my mouth. Leaning forward, I could see the evil in her eyes as she took the cigar away from my stomach. “Don’t you dare fuck this up for me, Ayden. Don’t think I don’t know what you’re trying to do. I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but you’re behaving like a fucking idiot.” She grabbed my hair, yanking me towards her. I could immediately smell the whiskey on her breath. “And another thing. Don’t think you can worm your way in with Mason. He’s not yours to fuck.” She released my hair with a shove and walked towards the door. “Fucking slut.”

  Tears sprang my eyes. I was trying to be strong. By fuck, was I trying to be strong, but when one thing after another tested me like this—something had to give.

  My stomach was in agony. I knew she had deliberately chosen the cigar because it would cause a bigger scar than a cigarette.

  I sat up, but my top came down and brushed against my burn. “Fuck!” I hissed. I was trying to be as quiet as I could so as not to wake anyone up. I didn’t need this right now... especially when I knew Hunter was right next door.

  I slowly unbuttoned my top, careful not to let it touch the burn. The more time that passed, the worse the pain was. As I got the top off, I steadily walked towards my bathroom and switched on the light. I squinted, trying to get my eyes to adjust before looking at what she had done in the mirror.

  It looked ghastly. You could certainly tell it was a cigar burn. I shook my head. My mother had pulled some shit before, but this took the biscuit. She was obviously intimidated by me if she had to resort to such measures to get me to stay away. Little did she know how far I was far from wanting to go after “her man,” but, then again, she also didn’t know I had screwed him before they had even met.

  A part of me wanted to tell her just so I could twist the knife in. I had never liked my mother, but at that moment, I couldn’t help the hate that poured through my veins.

  And, I didn’t want to be like her.

  Closing my eyes, the tears dripped down my face as I searched for the first-aid kit. I managed to find it and pulled out some cream for burns. I tried to smooth it on, but it just made me want to cry out in agony. My tears came more and more as I tried hard not to scream.

  It took forever, but I finally managed to layer some on. My hands by this stage were shaking like a leaf. I was trying to get the gauze open, but my hands were shaking so much that it was difficult to undo. I dropped it a couple of times and nearly screamed out in pure frustration.

  Finally, after a minute or so, I was able to rip it open. Luckily it was one that had sticky tape around the edges, so I didn’t have to fiddle with that as well. I was sure I would be here this time tomorrow if I had to stick it to myself.

  With an extra shaky hand, I stiffened as I lay the gauze flat on my hand and brought it to my upper stomach. She had gotten me just below my left breast towards the bottom of my ribs.

  Squeezing my eyes shut, I placed the gauze on top and nearly screamed again when I flattened the tape out.

  I was exhausted. It was after one in the morning, and I knew already I would be getting little or no sleep. I also knew that I would probably end up spending my Sunday stuck in my room all day.

  Great. Just bloody great!

  With my hands still shaking, I grabbed a couple of ibuprofen and washed it down with some of my tap water. I shuffled my feet towards my bed and carefully lay back down. It was hard as the burning pain was excruciating. I knew my mother wanted to leave her mark for what I had done, and she had achieved her goal—in more ways than one.

  Chapter Eight

  As expected, I didn’t sleep. I just lay there in pain all night. The ibuprofen helped, but it only numbed it a little. In the end, I had to get up and take another two only three hours later.

  In the morning, I could hear everyone up, but I daren’t even set foot out of bed. Instead, I sent a text to Mandy apologising for my outburst yesterday. She sent a text back saying she forgave me, of course, but I felt bad that I had snapped at her. She knew things had been getting on top of me lately. This was the perfect example as I lay on my side and stared v
acantly at the wall. After what happened last night, that was all I wanted to do. It was probably best I stayed there all day.

  I heard a soft knock on my door, but I didn’t answer. I didn’t want to see anyone. I just wanted to wallow in my own self-pity and self-loathing.

  “Ayden, are you okay?”

  It was Hunter’s voice. I could tell his voice from a mile away. “Please leave me alone.”

  “What’s wrong? Are you sick?”

  His voice was closer, but I didn’t want him anywhere near me. I didn’t want him to see me at this low point. I wanted him to only see my strength. I couldn’t be weak in front of him. I couldn’t let him see the real me.

  “Please go away.”

  I heard a sigh. “I’ve brought you some breakfast.”

  “I’m not hungry.”

  I heard the sound of a plate on my bedside and then the dip in my bed. “Talk to me.” He pulled at my arm, and that’s when I gave the game away. I yelped in pain. I couldn’t help it.

  Hunter’s eyes widened. “Are you in pain? Shall I call an ambulance?”

  I shot up, wincing. “No!”

  Hunter’s eyes landed on where I was holding myself. I instantly dropped my hand. “What’s wrong with your stomach?” He moved forward and reached his hand out. “Let me see.”

  I slapped his hand away. “Go the fuck away, Hunter.”

  I saw the anger in his eyes. “Did someone do this to you? Was it that fucking arsehole who sent you the flowers?” Of course he was out last night—probably fucking some whore—so, of course he didn’t know that I had actually stayed in. Saturday night and nowhere to go... I was such a loser.

  I shook my head. “No. Just leave me alone.” I turned over, so as not to face him, and I stared at the wall again. I could feel the tears stinging my eyes, and couldn’t let him see me.

  “If he’s hurt you, I’m going to fucking break his legs. Do you understand me, AJ?”

  I didn’t say anything. I just let the tears slide down my face. I daren’t look at him because I knew what would happen if I did.

  But would it be so wrong? Would it be so wrong to let myself have that one day also? Could I at least allow myself that one day of feeling nothing but pleasure? Nothing but the feeling of Hunter’s skin on mine. Nothing but the notion that he would worship me in those hours.

  Just those few hours. That’s all I needed.

  I heard Hunter walking towards the door and knew then I had to speak before I changed my mind. “Okay,” I whispered.

  Silence met me at first and I wondered if he had heard me. “Okay, what?”

  “This Saturday, after they leave, you can have your one day.” I closed my eyes feeling relief in one sense, but also feeling as if I had lost a little of my soul. I always knew Hunter would take it eventually. I would give him this, but it could only be for that one day. I knew that much. I also knew that one day would never be enough.

  “Why the sudden change?”

  I sighed. “I’m tired of fighting you.” Silence met me again, and I wondered what it was he was thinking. I daren’t turn over, though.

  “I’m not sure I want it now.” I heard the uncertainty in his voice.

  I gritted my teeth. “Fine!” I stated. I was tired of his games.

  “I can tell there’s something wrong, and I may be a lot of things, AJ, but a man who would take advantage of someone when they’re vulnerable isn’t one of them. That would make me an arsehole on a much larger scale.”

  I wanted to scream. I desperately wanted to gouge his eyes out. I didn’t want him here, and, at the same time, all I wanted was his arms around me. Comforting me. Telling me it was going to be okay. I hated him for it. I hated that he made me feel.

  “Just go. I need to sleep.”

  I heard him grunt. “Fine, but this isn’t over. I will speak with you once you’ve calmed down a little.” I heard him shut the door, and my sigh of relief went with it. I knew he wouldn’t let this lie—not by a long shot. Perhaps I should have been a little more considerate of his feelings and how confused he must have been. After all, I had given into him. But now, he was the one turning me down.

  In fact, the smile from knowing how confused he must be crept up on my face without me willing it. I really was a glutton for punishment. Despite knowing what my mum had done to me the previous night, I couldn’t help trying to look at the bright side… I had made Hunter confused as hell!

  *****

  I pretty much managed to stay out of everyone’s way on Sunday, only coming down when my presence was needed for dinner. The whole time I was there, Hunter seemed quiet for a change and kept looking at me as though I was some kind of indecipherable code needing to be cracked.

  When I went to bed that evening, I wondered why Robert hadn’t called me. I wasn’t disappointed, but I couldn’t understand why he didn’t want to know why I hadn’t turned up that day.

  I found out why the next day.

  I was on my way back from college when something in the corner of my eye alerted me to someone’s presence. When I looked up, I spotted a battered-looking Robert hastily making his way around the corner.

  I was on my heels straight away—running after him. I couldn’t believe that after all those weeks of him following me, it was I who was chasing him.

  Once I rounded the corner, I saw him look behind himself and briskly walk off. I had to run to catch up to him.

  “Robert. Robert, wait!” I shouted as I caught up with him.

  “Don’t come near me, Ayden. You didn’t need to send your dog on me. A simple, ‘No thanks’ would have done.”

  As I scanned his bruised eye, I shook my head. “I don’t understand. Who did this to you?”

  He huffed. “As if you didn’t know.”

  I placed my hand on my hip. “I won’t know unless you tell me.” But, I was suddenly getting a good idea as to whom.

  I was going to kill him.

  “You’re new fucking boyfriend!” he growled. Suddenly, the glare in his eyes turned to fear as he looked over my shoulder.

  “I thought I told you to stay the fuck away.” Hunter came out of nowhere and grabbed Robert’s collar.

  “Hunter, that’s enough.” I yanked at his arm, but it was no use.

  Instead, he turned to me. “Get in the car, AJ.”

  I knew if I did, Robert would be in big trouble. Instead, I placed both hands on my hips. “No.”

  Closing his eyes, Hunter gritted his teeth. “Get in the fucking car!”

  I leaned forward and pursed my lips. “No.”

  Hunter loosened Robert’s collar. “AJ, if you don’t get in the car now, I swear to God I’ll drag you there myself.”

  Little did he know, that’s exactly what I wanted, so I stood there... smiling and checking my nails.

  Hunter let go of Robert and stormed towards me. By this time, Robert was on his heels and running like hell. Hunter stopped, turned around, and saw him running. “Fuck!”

  He stalked towards me, grabbing my arm and pulling me towards the car. Once there, he strapped me in, but when his hand lightly touched my stomach, I winced.

  All of his anger faded. “Shit, AJ, what the fuck has happened to you?” He reached his hand down. “Let me see.”

  I shook my head. “It’s nothing, Hunter. Please. I just burnt myself making hot chocolate.”

  “Let me see.” He pulled my red tank top up, but all that met him was my gauze.

  “See, I have a dressing on it. It’s fine. I was stupid and spilt some boiling hot milk on myself Saturday night.”

  Hunter looked me in the eye like he didn’t believe me. I thought he would push; I needed to change the subject.

  I yanked my top down. “There was no need to punch Robert, was there? You need to apologise to him now.”

  Hunter looked at me like I was the crazy one. “You must be out of your fucking mind, AJ. That guy is creepy and needs to stop following you. Don’t think I hadn’t noticed. I saw him even before y
ou did.”

  Now it was my turn to look stunned. “So, it’s perfectly acceptable for you to follow me?”

  “That’s different.” He got up and shut the door before I had a chance to answer.

  Once he was in the driver’s side, I asked, “Different how?”

  Hunter gripped the steering wheel before starting up the car. “I’m doing it to protect you. He’s doing it because he obviously has some kind of unhealthy obsession with you.”

  I had to hand it to him. He was right, and the fact that he was doing this made him more desirable than ever.

  God, I fucking hated him.

  “I don’t need your protection. I can take care of myself.”

  He looked down at my stomach and pointed. “Clearly.”

  I sucked in a breath, not realising just how much that would hurt. Hunter was clueless, but that didn’t stop how deeply his words cut.

  Hunter saw my reaction and narrowed his eyes at me. “Hot chocolate, my fucking arse. Who did that to you?”

  He tricked me. Oh my God, he had tricked me, and I fell right into his hands. He knew what reaction that would get, and he played it to his advantage.

  “I fucking hate you, Hunter. Stay out of my way from now on, and I’ll stay out of yours. Go fuck a million girls for all I care.”

  Hunter pulled out of the space and made his way down the street. “Are you going to tell me?”

  I sighed. He wasn’t going to let this lie. I had to try and sway him, and the only thing I could think of was to wind him up.

  “I’m going out on a date Saturday night.”

  Hunter huffed. “Like fucking hell you are.”

  I pursed my lips. “You said the one day was off.”

  Hunter turned to me for a moment. “Yeah? Well, I’ve changed my fucking mind. You and me. This Saturday. It’s all back on track. That includes Saturday night, so go and tell your date to fuck the hell off.”

  I laughed. “Fuck the hell off?”

  Hunter turned to see my smile and immediately his scowl turned into laughter. Once he concentrated back on the road, his scowl came back. “Don’t try and distract me, AJ. Saturday’s happening.”