Between a Rock and a Hard Place

by Jenna Galicki

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I didn’t want you to remember me with tears streaming down my face as you left.”

  “Yeah,” Tommy said. “Like any of us was going to get through this without crying.” His chest burned and his head was foggy. The background noise of the other passengers vibrated in his ears and blocked out any other sound. He squeezed her so tight that it was hard to breathe, but he would gladly suffocate than allow a breath of air to separate them.

  The three of them stayed in a tight embrace, while the flash of the paparazzi lit up the terminal and documented their goodbye. None of them said anything. They just held one another, oblivious to the crowd around them, until the attendant told Tommy and Angel that they needed to board or they would miss their flight.

  Reluctantly, Tommy released his hold on Jessi. Her watery blue-gray eyes held so much love that it broke his heart. She forced a weak smile and kissed him.

  Angel blinked back his tears. “Are you sure you can’t come with us and finish your studies online, sweetheart?”

  Tommy’s insides deflated. It was the same question he begged to ask but wouldn’t dare suggest. He sighed. “Angel . . .”

  “I’m sorry.” Angel fidgeted. “I know it’s unfair to ask. I was just grasping at straws.”

  Jessi stroked Tommy’s cheek. He knew he looked the saddest of the three of them, although Angel was the most choked up. It was their grief that fueled Jessi’s strength, and she gave them each a reassuring smile. “We’re going to call each other every day and we’ll be together before you know it. I want you both to enjoy this trip.”

  Tommy cupped her face in his hands and kissed her long and deep, while Angel rubbed her back with a subtle intimacy. Tommy savored the flavor of Jessi’s mouth as if it were the first time he tasted it.

  Jessi and Angel shared a long embrace and a kiss, and the three each whispered, “I love you.”

  Tommy and Angel were hustled through the metal detector and lost in a cluster of other passengers. Tommy kept looking back for Jessi, even though she was well out of view. Angel had his arm around Tommy’s shoulder as they walked down the corridor that led to their gate. He leaned his head on Angel’s shoulder, draped his arm around Angel’s waist and held on tightly. It was the first time that Tommy and Jessi would be apart for any length of time. Tommy had the urge to run back, grab Jessi by the hand and bring her on the plane, or abandon the tour and wait for her. But he knew he couldn’t do either. As he stepped onto the plane that would carry him halfway around the world and away from the woman he loved, half of his heart stayed behind in New York.

  Chapter Five

  Immortal Angel dominated the first class cabin. It was more like a party than a plane ride, thanks to the free flowing champagne. But Tommy wasn’t interested in partying or joining in the boisterous chatter that probably annoyed the other passengers. He sat quietly in the adjoining seat next to Angel. He lifted the armrest to eliminate the space between them, while the seat to his right echoed its emptiness.

  “We’ll fly back in about a week.” Angel tried to reassure him with some comforting words, but they didn’t sound very convincing. “We have a few days off between shows. I think we can manage it.”

  It was a nice sentiment, but Tommy knew it would never happen. It was simply too far to travel.

  Jimmy reached forward from the row of seats behind him and shook Tommy’s shoulder. “We’re bachelors for the next few weeks. Stop looking so glum, man. Have a good time.”

  Tommy returned a forced, half-hearted smile that probably looked more like a grimace.

  “Not now, Jimmy,” Angel said. “He’s having a hard time. We both are.”

  Damien snuck into the empty seat next to Tommy. “Lighten up. I’m gonna miss Alyssa too, but sometimes it’s good to spend some time apart.”

  Tommy shook his head. “I don’t want to spend time away from Jessi.”

  “Make the best of it, dude. Enjoy the time alone with Angel.”

  “That sounds nice.” Angel placed his left hand over Tommy’s so their ring fingers lined up. “You bought me this beautiful ring, my prince, but you never took me on a honeymoon. I’ve never had you all to myself before.”

  Angel never once complained about being part of a shared relationship. He deserved to be fussed over. He deserved to feel special. The time alone together would allow him that luxury and bring them closer together. Tommy tried to focus on that instead of on leaving Jessi behind.

  Ear buds and Metallica drowned out most of the noise on the flight, but Tommy still had a hard time falling asleep, even though he was wrapped securely in Angel’s arms.

  Jimmy kept the pretty girl in the seat next to him entertained with his tongue. Marissa and Audra were working over their laptops, engrossed in conversation. That left Damien to entertain himself and he fidgeted like a four year old. Halfway through the flight Tommy had to scold him for constantly bumping the back of his seat.

  Damien kicked the seat again. “You’ve got to see this. Wake up and look out the window.”

  Tommy rubbed his eyes and stretched before he leaned his elbow on Angel’s thigh and looked out the small window. The city of Hong Kong loomed beneath. It was alive with tall buildings and neon lights. It was magnificent. In a few days the band would play a sold out venue in a country that he never thought he’d visit. It was hard to imagine, and the thrill of the adventure ahead returned.

  Tommy brought his seat upright and prepared for landing. He hated that moment when the wheels of the plane hit the tarmac. He took Angel’s hand and gritted his teeth. The hard jolt of the plane only lasted a few seconds before it glided to a stop and the lights on the “fasten seatbelt” sign went off.

  The moment they walked through customs, the screams began. None of them expected the near-riot reception that greeted them at the airport in a country far away from home. Fans were lined up behind barricades as far as Tommy could see. “How do all these people know who we are?”

  “They’re your fans,” Audra answered. “American pop culture is very big in the Asian market. Haven’t you checked your record sales? The first single off your album just went platinum in Asia and the UK. Congratulations. You’re worldwide rock stars now. I always knew you would be.”

  It was beyond anything Tommy ever expected. The band signed autographs and took photos with the fans, but they didn’t speak much English. They only smiled and called the band members by name. Jessi would have been in awe of the reception they received. The rush of energy and the high that lifted Tommy’s spirits dimmed. He glanced at Angel and knew that he was thinking the exact same thing.

  “We’ll bring her back here to visit.” Angel tried to sound reassuring.

  “I know, but look at this greeting.” Tommy waved his hand toward the hundreds of fans lined up, all calling their names and snapping photos. “Jessi would have loved this more than any of us.” He remembered her little speech in the taxi about messaging her from pivotal sightseeing locations, and took his phone from his pocket. He recorded a substantial length of the screaming fans as he walked by them. He only wished some of them were calling her name. Before he shut the camera off, he turned it around to face himself. Even though he was only speaking into the blank screen of his phone, he felt like he was speaking directly to her. His throat closed up and he had to swallow to find enough air to speak. “I miss you already, hon.” He managed a small smile. “I’ll call you when we get to the hotel.”

  Angel took the phone from him and turned it in his direction. “Love you, sweetheart! Speak to you soon.” He tried to sound animated, but the lackluster tone behind his voice gave away his sadness. He pressed send and gave the phone back to Tommy.

  Chapter Six

  Jessi propped her phone up on the marble counter of the breakfast bar and repositioned herself on the leopard-covered barstool. She rested her chin in her hand and pressed the white arrow to play the video Tommy sent from Hong Kong. Tommy and Angel both looked happy, but you could hear
the longing in their voices.

  “Are you watching that again?” Alyssa hopped on the stool next to her.

  Jessi had already watched the video a half-dozen times. Even though the bulk of it was made up of the massive crowd at the airport, it was the few seconds at the end that she wanted to see again and again. She didn’t pay attention to the long line of screaming fans or read the signs they waved in the air. She waited with her ankles crossed and her hands perched on her knees. Her stomach rolled with impatience. As soon as Tommy’s handsome face filled the screen, her fingers went to her lips. He only said a few words, but the ache in his voice reached through the miles that divided them and squeezed her heart. He had been gone one day and not a minute went by that she didn’t think about him. Part of her was missing. She was fragmented, split at the core, with the other piece of her soul ripped away.

  Angel’s voice came through the phone and tore at her heart even more. He was less successful at hiding the emotion in his voice, although he tried to disguise it with the enthusiasm behind his words. She didn’t realize she would miss him as much as she missed Tommy. It doubled the empty, hollowed-out hole in her gut. She doubted it would get any easier as the days elapsed, and that the time would crawl by. Each day, each hour, would magnify their absence.

  She automatically hit play as soon as the video ended, but Alyssa took the phone from her hand and clicked pause. “You can’t spend the whole day watching that thing on repeat.”

  “I know, but they haven’t called yet. I want to hear Tommy’s voice and I miss Angel.” She would call Tommy herself, but she knew they were busy with promo events before the first show and the time difference threw everything off.

  “At least you got a sentimental video. All I got were a few words texted to me.” Alyssa moved her thumbs in the air like she was texting. “‘Landed safe. Heading to press conference then dinner. Talk later.’ Damien could have sent that to his sister.”

  “Damien has a sister?”

  “No.” Alyssa rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean. So what do you want to do tonight? It’ll be our first night out without the boys.”

  Jessi wanted to wait for Tommy’s call, but she knew she couldn’t spend the next 30 days staring at her phone hoping it would ring. “I’m supposed to be studying and making a checklist of all the things that still need to be done at the boutique, but I guess I can take one night off. Do you want to get something to eat?”

  “I have a better idea.” Alyssa jumped off the stool, trotted through the dining room and down the long entrance foyer. She returned with a brown paper bag and a black briefcase. She set them both on the breakfast bar and pulled a bottle of 1800 tequila from the bag.

  “You plan on getting me drunk and then handing me a suitcase full of money?”

  “Nope. I’m giving you something that you can give Tommy the next time you see him.”

  Alyssa popped open the briefcase. It was sectioned off into square velvet-lined compartments that contained sealed plastic bags filled with metal rings and bars and a host of piercing supplies. Alyssa tossed a tongue stud on the counter, still in its small clear pocket.

  Jessi picked it up and rolled it between her fingers. “What’s this for?”

  “I’m going to pierce your tongue.”

  “Why the hell would I let you do that?” The idea was insane, and Jessi didn’t know whether to laugh or be afraid.

  “It’ll be a present for Tommy. You have no idea how that round metal ball drives a guy insane during a blow job. And it works both ways. Maybe I can convince Tommy to let me pierce his tongue when you show him what you can do with that thing.”

  She contemplated the tongue ring with a raised eyebrow. It would be an advantage she had over Angel in the oral stimulation department. She always wondered if he gave a better blow job than she did, only because he had firsthand knowledge of the male anatomy. She could also use the tongue piercing to her benefit when they played their little game of who could drive Tommy crazier in bed. She tossed the piercing on the counter in front of Alyssa. “I can’t believe I’m going to let you do this.”

  Alyssa lined up her supplies with precision. Some of them had Jessi a little worried. There was a box of rubber gloves, a small metal tray, two different-sized needles and forceps in individual packages, a small marker and a tiny rubber band.

  Alyssa glanced up at Jessi. She swore there was enjoyment behind the sadistic smile Alyssa gave her and it made her more nervous. “I don’t know about this. How much does it hurt?”

  “It doesn’t hurt at all.”

  Jessi didn’t believe that for a minute.

  With her supplies in order, Alyssa turned her attention to the bottle of 1800. She unscrewed the cap, carried it further into the kitchen and stopped in front of the long row of cabinets. “Why the hell do you have so many kitchen cabinets? Which one has the shot glasses?”

  “Because Angel’s neurotic.” He needed a cabinet for everything. He had an additional set of cabinets installed right after they bought the house to hold his culinary gadgets and supplies. She didn’t know how he lived in their old house with that tiny kitchen. No wonder he was intent on buying this enormous place as soon as they came into some money.

  “Glasses?” Alyssa waived the bottle at her.

  “Oh. The narrow cabinet on the end.”

  Alyssa set two shot glasses on the breakfast bar, filled them to the top with the tequila and handed one to Jessi.

  “Aren’t you going to have one?” Jessi asked, when Alyssa made no attempt to touch her drink.

  “I’ll have mine when I’m done with your piercing.”

  Jessi took a deep breath and threw back the shot of tequila. The harsh alcohol burned her throat but it tasted good. “I’m ready. What do I have to do?”

  After Alyssa donned a pair of black plastic gloves, she made Jessi stick her tongue out and marked it. She fastened the small rubber band onto the end of the forceps in order to keep them closed and clamped it onto the end of Jessi’s tongue.

  It felt weird and awkward and Jessi fidgeted on the barstool. She should have taken a few more shots of the tequila, because she was losing her nerve. Her eyes darted to the long needle in Alyssa’s hand.

  “Are you ready?”

  Jessi clamped her eyes shut. The sensation of the needle puncturing her tongue was foreign and uncomfortable, but it was quick and relatively painless. Seconds later it was over, and she had a tongue stud.

  “How does it feel? And don’t clang it against your teeth.”

  Jessi rolled it around in her mouth like a piece of hard candy stationed in the center of her tongue. “It feels wike I’m gonna swawwow it.” Her fingertips flew to her lips. “I can’t twawk!”

  Alyssa laughed. “It just takes a little getting used to. Tomorrow you’ll be fine.” She ripped off her gloves and held up her shot of tequila. “To Damien.”

  “Thamien?”

  “Yep. Being married to a recovered alcoholic and drug addict makes you walk a very narrow line. I can’t shoot tequila around him. I can barely sip a glass of wine when we’re out to dinner once in a while. I need to show Damien that I support him. I rarely get a chance to have a couple of drinks.” She tossed back the shot of tequila and poured another one. “Tonight I’m going to enjoy myself.”

  Jessi still wasn’t used to the metal bar and ball inside her mouth. Instinct was to rub it against the roof of her mouth. She had to make a conscious effort not to do it, and she still had trouble speaking. “Thell me about Thamien.”

  “What about him?”

  “How can he stay sober with drugs and alcohol around all the thime?”

  “He has no choice if he wants to stay married to me. I don’t care how much I love him, I won’t put up with that shit. I’ll kick his butt and throw his ass out.” She pursed her dark red lips together and poured another shot. “Damien had a hard life before I met him. He basically grew up on the streets. It’s a really ugly story. Maybe one day I’ll get into it,
but it’s too fucked up to talk about tonight. We’re supposed to be having a good time.”

  After a few more shots of tequila and a pizza delivery, Jessi’s eyes started to close. She looked at the time on her phone and wondered why Tommy hadn’t called yet. She rubbed her eyes and yawned. “I’m going to bed. Are you all settled in the guest room?”

  “Yep. You’re talking better. I told you that you’d get used to it.”

  Jessi set the house alarm and ascended the long staircase up to the second floor. She stuck her tongue out in front of the mirror in the master bathroom. It looked funny and a little swollen. She worried that Tommy would be mad she didn’t discuss it with him first, until she brought him to blow job heaven.

  She climbed into the oversized bed and pulled the lush down comforter over her legs. It was a vast empty space without Tommy and Angel.

  The familiar ring tone of an Immoral Angel song announced Tommy’s long awaited call. She jumped to a sitting position and pressed the answer button. “Hi, baby, I miss you!”

  “I miss you too, hon. I’m sorry I didn’t call sooner, but we got dragged into a press conference as soon as we landed. We needed an interpreter! It’s been crazy over here.” He was excited and he was rambling. “We’re constantly getting mobbed by fans. It’s so bad that we needed to take security with us when we went to dinner. I crashed as soon I got back to the hotel room, then we had an early morning interview. I haven’t stopped running around since we got off the plane.”

  His enthusiasm brought a smile to her lips and the sound of his voice made her weak. It was hard to believe how much she missed him, but she forced herself to sound upbeat. “I’m glad you’re having a good time. How was the flight?”

  “It was long and noisy. How are you? Is everything OK at home?”

  “Everything here is fine. I just miss you like crazy.”

  “I miss you too. Don’t forget to set the alarm and call the police if you hear anything suspicious. I worry about you alone in that big house without me or Angel.”