I have entire boxes of condoms in my bag because half the swim team paid witness to my girlfriend cheating on me and the fight that ensued. The days that followed bared gifts of foil packets by the bucket full. Guys apparently only know of one way to mend a broken heart, and it doesn't involve a carton of Rocky Road. Maybe that is just what I need to get over her, but I could never bed some girl just for the sake of easing my loneliness. If so, I would’ve taken the chance with Payton a couple summer ago. She and I dated when I first moved to Virginia after she started coming to the stables for riding lessons. She was willing, but I didn’t want to be her first. I don’t think I want to be anybody’s first. That is way too much responsibility, except Brennen. She's the exception to the rule. I would have gladly been the forty year old virgin if she’d have me.
“That’s all right by me. You’ve said more than enough to me for the day, hell the week for that matter.”
I tick my head back at her audacity. I hate to admit it, but I kind of like this girl.
Cat glides on a young bay horse like she is a professional – an athlete. I could see it in her posture the first second I met her. I wonder if she’s done the deed. She’s brazen and beautiful and at least close to my age if not a bit older. My gaze begins to wander to her perfect bottom. I’m mesmerized by the steady rhythm of her butt coming off the saddle and back in. Suddenly, I’m in real danger of pitching a tent right here in the saddle. Cat Emerson may be just what I need to dull this ache for the summer.
We ride to the very back of the property just as the sun is beginning to sink. It doesn't seem like we've been gone for nearly two hours. Part of me wishes we could keep going, but it's time to get back. If not, we’ll be wandering around in the dark, and Clancy turns into the biggest pussy after dark. Then again, after learning about the dark side, maybe he has a right to be. If it is true what Father Max says, and demons have possessed me for most of my life, then what else is out there? If demons are real, what other monsters lurk in the shadows?
She follows behind me on the way back, probably still unsure of the way. I can feel her eyes on me, boring holes into the back of my head. I hope I wasn’t too hard on her. She probably thinks I’m a giant asshole now. I rub Clancy’s velvet smooth neck and hate that I miss this so much. I remember when my dad first put me on the back of a horse. My mom looked on, worried that I might get hurt, but Dad knew I would love to ride. Horses have always made me feel more at ease. Sometimes I'd go missing in the middle of the night, and they'd find me sleeping on a makeshift bed of horse blankets in the stall next to that old Chessy.
My memories drift to Brennen again and a ride we shared. I wish I could turn the memories off, and forget her altogether. A sigh escapes me, and Cat rides up beside me.
“I heard you had a bad break up.”
I’m shocked that she’s bold enough to mention it. Most girls wouldn’t shove the pain right back in someone’s face like that. “Mia and Maci keep all the employees apprised of my love life or lack thereof.” My words come out more irritated than I actually am, I think part of me is still numb from the blow Brennen dealt me.
“Sorry, I’m a bit nosey. My mum says it’s going to be the death of me, but I think she got the analogy confused with curiosity, when the two are totally different things. I have a bad habit of just blurting out my feelings and thoughts without warning. It’s almost as if I have a form of gossipy Turrets syndrome. So, I apologize in advance if I offend you or cross a line, especially with you being my boss and all.”
My chest moves with a wave of laughter. Mia was right. She is funny. “I am not your boss. That role is played by Sam senior. I’m only here for the cheap drinks and free food.”
“Well, alright then. Let’s have the story. Tell me all about the girl who maimed your heart.”
“I just met you. Line officially crossed.”
“Oh, I see…still too fresh in your mind. I’ve never had a bad break up. I’ve never gotten that close to anyone before so that they could hurt me. Never had the time to.”
I regretted my words as soon as I got them out. Because for some strange reason, I want to tell Cat everything. I want to spill every last bit of the story to her just to hear her take on it. I haven’t talked to anyone about it yet, and something genuinely sweet about Cat has me wanting to lie on her lap and confess all my secrets. However, I keep the wall intact and erected five miles high. I bed Clancy down for the night, and at some point Cat has disappeared from the stable. It’s late, and I’m sure it’s been a long day for her.
A plate of cold food sits on the otherwise empty table when I walk in. I can just make out the sounds of the girls being giggly upstairs. One Direction is blaring from their stereo and finally they belt out the chorus with flare. I round the archway and see Dad asleep in the arm chair with his reading glasses still resting on his nose, the newspaper still in hand. The familiarities of being home attack me all at once, and I quickly head to the shower to soak it all in. It’s good to be home.
For the first time in months, Brennen didn't enter my dreams. Last night a dream took me to a place where the sun was as bright as nuclear blast. The only thing I could see was Cat’s golden silhouette glowing as she walked over to me from the distance. She cupped my face in her hands and stared into me with those mystical eyes of hers. We shared more words in that one look than a lifetime of conversations could afford. The dream left me with this feeling like I just need to see her again as soon as I can. I have an innate need to know who this girl is and everything else in-between.
The house is quiet, and everyone is sleeping in this morning. I creep into my dad’s office and look through his employee files until I come across Cat’s name. Bingo! Catarina Emerson… She’s twenty-one, born in Sydney. I read over every detail, and on the next page is a photo of her on an Olympic podium receiving a silver medal for her team in a competition know as Eventing. It’s a combination of dressage, riding and jumping that takes extreme skill. Okay, so she wasn’t exactly overstating her qualifications. My second thought is: How in the world did Dad manage to hire her? There’s a story to this girl and how she got to a small ranch in south Texas, and I’m beginning to think I want nothing more than for her to confide her every secret in me.
The morning fog is still thick as soup as I step inside the stable. There’s a couple of hands already mucking out the stalls, so I decide to take out Night Fury and make sure he’s not sore from yesterday’s little stunt. The glossy black horse greets me, nuzzling his warm nose against my chin, and I huff out a laugh. I bend down and run my hands down his legs and check his hooves.
“Checking up on me, I see.”
I hear Cat’s voice and peek out from under the horse. Her hair is thrown into a neat ponytail making her neck look like a gazelle. She’s got her shirt cropped above her waist showing a smooth tan stomach underneath and just enough skin to make me need to adjust myself. The girl is beautiful. Brennen was gorgeous too, but there’s something about this girl that’s different. I haven’t been able to put my finger on it just yet.
“No. I’m just reassuring myself that my future retirement income isn’t going to be in glue.”
She disarms me with her smile, and I don’t think I can manage another coherent sentence. I want to compliment her. I want her to know I’m into her, but there’s something holding me back that just won’t let the words come. I glance back down at the ground and pretend to keep going over the horse.
“He’s fine by the way. I gave him a good rub down about an hour ago. The fella loved his massage. Didn’t you boy?” I glance up as she scratches the horse under his chin like a dog. I shake my head and exit the stall.
“So, I looked over your resume, and I think I owe you an apology. You are… a little over qualified. Frankly, I don’t know why you’d want to work here when you could be training at a much higher level. So, I’m sorry. I hope we can get off on a better foot.”
She moves in front of me and puts her hand on my chest. My heart
thuds raucously in my ears. It’s so loud. I wonder if her hand is vibrating off my chest. She lowers her lids, and a seductive smile plays on her smooth raspberry lips. “I’m sure you can find a way to make it up to me, Sam.” Her hand slides off my chest, and I swear she caressed my muscles before letting her fingers drop. Holy shit! Did she just come on to me, or was I imagining it? I need to say something witty and charming, but I can't get a word out of my stupid Ivy League educated lips. A slew of curse words fly through my idiotic brain that I would never say out loud. Flustered, I finally just walk back to the house before I can let on that I am as inept at flirting as a slug. Just as I make it to the edge of the stable door, I swear I hear her giggle. She knows just what she's doing to me, and I feel like such a klutz when I'm around her.
Brennen never rattled me this much. But then again, I think I'd prefer being rattled by Cat any day of the week than being lied to.
Weeks have gone by, and I still haven’t had the nerve to do anything about the fact that I’ve really come to like Cat. She’s kept things strictly professional between us, and I haven’t had the courage to tell her how I feel yet. I don’t even know if what I feel is real, and I don’t want Cat to be the rebound girl. She deserves to be someone’s everything.
We’ve made sort of a routine of taking a ride together every night. We talk about everything from horses to which way the toilet paper should face, but I still can’t seem to make a move. And I still haven’t told her what happened with Brennen. She hasn’t pressed the issue either, and for that, I am beyond grateful.
“So you’re taking us to the Independence Day festival today, right?” Mia chimes out as she slurps down a mouthful of Cheerios.
“Yes, I said I would. Dad’s taking us out for my birthday, and then we’ll go after that. Okay?”
“You should bring a date. It is your birthday after all.” I can see the match maker wheels spinning in Mia’s little blond head, and I huff out a breath.
Once we get to the festival they’ll disappear with their friends, and I’ll be left to wander for hours alone– on my birthday. Maybe I should finally bite the bullet and ask her. The days of summer are fading away, and before I know it, I’ll be heading back north. But who knows, if it works out, maybe she’ll be yet another reason for me to stay home. If she says no, I can always hideout in the house till school starts.
“Alright I’ll do it.” I slam my palms down on the table nearly toppling both the girls’ cereal bowls. They giggle and high five each other on a mission accomplished. “What if she says no?”
Mia’s big brown eyes roll back in her head as she smiles. “She’s going to say yes, silly Billy goat. Now hurry up before someone else beats you to it.”
Before Mia can dislodge the whites of her eyes from her orbital sockets, I’m out the door. The July heat slams into me like the air was set to broil, and I remember how much I love the mild Virginia summers. This time last year, Brennen was interning with the Governor there, and I was here helping Dad get this place up and running. I remember how much we missed each other, how she finally convinced me to move to Yale because we were so heartsick missing each other. What changed? Was it just the attack, or was there something more to the story that she’s not telling? Damn it, stop thinking about her, it’s over, let her go.
Cat’s at the round pen working a student. My brain is telling me to turn around and catch her at a better time, but my feet keep right on walking. She looks hot as hell in boots and denim shorts paired with a slinky tank top. Her hair is tied up with a bandanna furthering the cuteness factor tenfold, and I can feel the lack of cohesive words puttering around in my brain.
“Happy Birthday Sam,” a smile lights up her face and makes my heart skip a full beat or two.
“Thanks. Ethan’s looking good up there. He’s come along way this summer.”
“I know. I couldn’t be more proud of him. Did you need the pen? Ethan you can go ahead and return your horse back. Make sure to brush him off.” She directs the last half to the boy, and he dismounts and leads his mare back.
“Man Ethan, I can’t get over how much you’ve improved. We might just have to keep you around.” I give him a knuckle bump and watch as his chest pumps up with pride.
I turn back to Cat to answer her. “Um, no actually… I was wondering if you had any plans tonight.”
“You’re not going to have me work another double are you?”
“What? No!” Crap! This was a major bad idea. I’m practically her boss. This could turn into some kind of sexual harassment lawsuit or something.
Just do it. “Do you want to be my date tonight? Dad’s taking us to dinner. Then I’m taking the girls to the festival in town.”
“You bet your ass I do!”
I laugh at her choice of words.
“I mean yes.”
I swear I hear her mutter, “It took you long enough,” under her breath.
“Great, I’ll pick you up at five.”
“It’s a date.” She gives me the thumbs up. Cat is so down to earth and easy going. I don’t know why I didn’t ask her sooner.
That evening, I pull up to her house and knock on the door. I’ve always liked this little cabin. It’s got a modern design to it, setting it apart from the norm. It sits square behind the small lake that runs along the back part of our property. I remember bringing Brennen here last Thanksgiving and carrying her over the threshold like we were newlyweds. The thought tears fresh wounds into my heart. It's as if I'm right back standing on the sidewalk watching Elijah sink over her body as they indulge in a kiss so passionate that I was almost embarrassed to be watching. I recognized her face right before his lips covered hers, and it was if the moment froze and went in slow agonizing, heart shredding motion.
Cat opens the door and invites me in for a minute. She takes my mind right out of the refuge and into her world; a world I could die happy in. I take her all in before she slips away to her bedroom to grab her shoes. I’ve never seen her dressed up before or with makeup. She’s beautiful covered in dust and a stringy ponytail, but tonight, she’s stunning. Those mint green eyes capture my breath and hold it hostage for a good five minutes before giving it back. She’s wearing a bright pink silky dress that shows off her slim figure. Her arms are toned and her legs too. I finally notice Cat for the knock out she is. It’s as if I’d just been issued twenty-twenty vision from being blind. She pops back into the room dangling two strappy heels from one finger like she was showing off a trophy.
“You look very pretty.” I finally managed to compliment her without sticking my foot in my mouth, and a sigh of relief escapes my lips. I open the door, and she brushes past me. She smells of soft Ivory soap and lemon shampoo. I wish she would have lingered a bit longer, so I could take in every nuance.
“Thank you. You clean up pretty nice yourself.” I help her into the truck, and she sits in the middle seat. A nauseating feeling runs through me because that was Brennen’s favorite spot to ride, nestled under my arm. I clench my jaw and try and shake the moment away like dust on a rug.
“So how old where you when you moved to the states?”
“I was nine-teen. My parents and I had a big falling out about my celebrity status. They would never let me go anywhere. They acted like I would be run off the road by paparazzi. The fame fades pretty quickly in our line of sport, but they never eased up. It got to be too much to bear, so I moved here to start my own life. We haven’t spoken much since. I call them every once and a while to let them know I’m still alive and well.”
“So that’s why you didn’t want a more prestigious position… to stay out of the spotlight?”
She nestles in close to me, and in that instant, my arm closes around her shoulders. She feels good in my arms. For the first time in months, I think I found someone who I could really care about, who seems to want me to care about her.
“Don’t be so quick to discount your ranch Sam. You’ve got a great thing going on. You’re sitting on pure gold and do
n’t you forget it.”
“Well at least silver maybe,” I tease, and she slaps my chest with a playful swipe. I roll the truck to a stop at the red light, and the sparkle in her eyes catches my gaze. I inch in closer wanting nothing more than to feel the softness of her lips when they brush with mine. Her lids lower as she gives me a sultry sigh of wanting the same thing. The car behind me honks, and the moment is lost. I glare up at my rearview mirror to see my neighbor looking a little peeved. Cat snickers at our luck.
We meet my dad and half of my family at one of the hundred local Mexican restaurants here in the small town of Magnolia. This one’s called Mí Rancho, and I pray they don’t make me wear the sombrero while they sing Happy Birthday to me. I cut Dad a glare that tells him he’d better keep the mortifying request to himself tonight. I introduce Cat to the rest of the family, and she fits right in. Even my grandfather seems to like her. He gives her the same line he used on Brennen about teaching me everything he knows on how to impress the ladies. Cat laughs and asks him if he has any new tricks to teach me.
I beam at her. My chest fills with pride that she’s here with me tonight. The memory of the last family dinner tries to resurface, with Brennen playing the role of heartbreaker as she dumps me in front of my whole family. She told me she wanted us to see other people. My brain clicks suddenly as if it’s just now putting together the missing link in the timeline. She wanted to be free to date Elijah. That asshole is the “other people.” Son of a bitch! The revelation hits me like a thousand volts of electricity. Cat shifts in her seat, and her brows form a small ‘v’ between her captivating eyes. I want to tell her everything, but I don't want to be the guy bringing all his baggage to a new relationship, if it will even culminate to that. I try and ease her with a smile, but I don't for a minute think she bought it.
My Soul Laid Bare: Book 4 (The Soul Keeper Series) Page 5
