Silver Dove (Silver #2)

by E. J. Shortall

  “What are you saying, Craig,” I said barely above a whisper.

  He sighed and his shoulders dropped, “I don’t know. I just can’t go on like this anymore. It’s not who we are. It’s not what we’re about.”

  He walked back across the room toward his private bathroom without another word, grabbing his discarded clothes as he passed. Feeling suddenly cold and vulnerable I grabbed my dress and yanked it over my head. I needed that protection of being covered.

  Craig re-emerged a few minutes later fully dressed and without looking at me he grabbed his keys and phone from his desk and walked toward the door.

  “Where are you going?” I asked as he reached for the door knob.

  “Anywhere but here. I need some space.” He tugged the door open and disappeared from my view. I heard hushed voices as he said something to Margaret and then it was quiet.

  I ran to the internal office window and peeked through the closed slats of the blinds. Craig was stomping down the hallway ignoring anyone who tried to talk to him. What had just happened? I fell back onto the sofa and wrung my hands in my lap. Somehow in my endeavours to become pregnant things had gone so horribly wrong with Craig and me.

  As tears trickled down my cheeks I considered phoning Becki to ask her advice, but being the jealous and self-absorbed person I was, I hadn’t been the best of friends to her and I’d found myself distancing from her, despite my promises I would be there for her.. Marika wasn’t an option; she was out of town for the day visiting an old friend. I finally resigned myself to the fact that nobody else could sort this mess out. I had to work this one out alone.

  My thoughts drifted back to the smaller bedroom at home that I’d been sitting in earlier in the day. One day that room would become our baby’s room. I’d even decided how I wanted to decorate it and what things I would buy to put in there. With every passing minute that possibility seemed to drift further and further away. Was this longing really worth risking my marriage over?

  I thought back to what Craig had just said. He was tired of everything, the monitoring, the regime, and the less than exciting sexual positions. I wondered if that was really how he saw the situation. Had our sex life really lost the love, enjoyment and spontaneity that we’d shared from day one? The moment we’d just shared had been a pretty spontaneous idea from me and had been very much enjoyable. But it hadn’t always been like that in recent times. I knew Craig hadn’t been happy, but he’d seemed to accept what we needed to do, how things needed to be. Had I become so wrapped up in my own dreams that I’d ended up driving my husband away?

  I realised that I’d been so selfish with what I wanted that yet again I never once considered how Craig was really feeling or what he wanted.

  Absolutely terrified for what I could potentially lose, I knew what I needed to do. With a determination to fix things I ran to the door to go in search of my husband.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  Craig

  Flanagan’s was quiet when I walked in. A few of the regular old timers were getting their daily Guinness fixes as they sat around a table reminiscing about the good old days back home in Ireland. I nodded my head in greeting to them as I wandered past to the bar. I was glad it was quiet, save for the occasional throaty cough from these men who’d been smoking longer than I’d been alive, I needed the peace and alone time to cool off.

  “Why if it isn’t our very own Mr Silver. Long-time no see,” Deaglan, the bar owner bellowed at me as he made his way along the bar. I’d known the guy for years. Flanagan’s had been my preferred watering hole when I’d first settled the company in its new location several years earlier. It was only a short walk from the office and gave me the distraction of booze, banter and booty rather than going home to a quiet and lonely house. “What brings ye to this neck of the woods?” he asked in his thick Irish accent.

  “Just needing a drink.”

  Deaglan looked at his watch and frowned. “At this time of the day? I thought it was only those feckin’ eejit’s over there that were desperate for their Guinness that came in this early.” He nodded his head in the direction of the four guys chatting away behind me.

  “Yeah well, sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do. Hit me with a Jameson Deg.”

  “Sounds like woman troubles,” he chuckled as he reached down for a glass.

  “I’m not talking about it,” I grumbled.

  “Just as well, ‘cause I don’t wanna feckin’ hear it. This place ain’t no Ask Sally joint.” I rolled my eyes as he turned around and poured a shot. “Ya know my boy, there ain’t no woman in the world worth gettin’ yourself all worked up for.”

  Deaglan wiped off the bar and placed my glass on a coaster before stepping away to lean against the back wall. I grabbed the glass, raised it in the air to silently toast… something, and downed the contents in one gulp. “And again,” I demanded as I slammed the glass back down. He eyed me suspiciously but grabbed the bottle to pour me another shot.

  “Bottoms up!” I raised my glass again and heard murmurings from behind me. The old guys were looking over so I raised my glass to them and once again downed the shot in one.

  “Craig, take it easy,” Deaglan said when I twirled my finger indicating I wanted another refill before I’d even swallowed the last.

  “Don’t start with your worried bartender bullshit, Deg. Just keep ‘em coming. In fact give me two… doubles.” I pushed the glass toward him.

  “Craig I-”

  “Just do it,” I growled, cutting him off. I had so much shit racing around in my head and I needed it to stop. Whiskey was the only thing that was going to make that happen.

  Reluctantly Deaglan poured my drinks and set them in front of me. “All I’m sayin’ is take it easy. I don’t wanna carry your sorry arse home like I used to.” I nodded and picked my drinks up. I wasn’t in the mood for idle chit chat, I needed space to drink in peace and drown out my sorrows.

  I walked to the table furthest away and dropped into a seat. The bar was an L shape and the table I’d chosen was round the corner, allowing me the privacy to commiserate with myself and not be disturbed by others. The contents of the first glass disappeared quickly as I downed the dark liquid in one gulp and sat back waiting for the effects to start kicking in. I wondered how Amber was. She’d looked so sad and lost when I stormed out.

  The minutes, if not hours, ticked by as I sat staring at the dark painted wall as I swirled the liquid around in my glass. I wondered if maybe I’d overreacted but then the frustrations and anger would bubble to the surface again. In such a short space of time we had gone from being loving newlyweds to Amber becoming obsessed about babies and pregnancy, to the exclusion of everything else. Including me!

  “You look like you need another one of those.” A glass appeared on the table and the chair next to me scraped along the floor before a body appeared next to me. I tilted my head around and cursed silently to myself. Jenny was sitting in the chair grinning at me.

  “Thanks, but I’m fine,” I mumbled.

  “Oh, come on, Craig. You look anything but fine.”

  “Thanks for the drink, Jenny, but I just want to be alone.” I returned to looking at the wall. I really was hoping some magic scrawl would suddenly appear giving me the answers to the mysteries of the female species.

  “Look, I know I’ve pushed you in the past and I’m sorry about that. I’m here as a friend, Craig. If you need to bare your soul, bare away. If you need idle chit chat to distract you, then chat all you like. Whatever you need, I’m right here for you.” I turned my head to look at her again and saw a look of understanding although my head was starting to feel a little fuzzy from the alcohol now creeping into my veins.

  I nodded my head. “Okay, in that case, thank you!” I lifted the drink and took a swig, groaning as the liquid burned a trail down my throat.

  “So, are you going to tell me what’s going on? I’ve never seen you leave the office looking so wound up before.”

  “I�
��m not talking about it Jenny.”

  Jenny indicated over to Deaglan for another round of drinks and then scooted her chair closer. “Like I said, I’m here if you want to chat. If not then I’m just here to keep you company and make sure you don’t drink yourself into oblivion.”

  “Suit yourself, but I’m not talking.” I shrugged.

  “Does this have anything to do with the wife running out of the building like it was on fire and she’d just found her kitten dead?” I narrowed my eyes and trailed them from Jenny’s hand, which was resting on my arm, and up to her face. I blinked, trying to focus on which of the several icy blue eyes staring at me were real.

  “Nothing to do with you,” I slurred. The alcohol was hitting my system fast.

  “Just a friend looking out for a friend.” Jenny squeezed my arm and then pushed the refilled glass of whiskey in front of me. “Here drink this.”

  “Are you trying to get me drunk?” I frowned.

  Jenny laughed. “Bit too late to try, Craig.”

  I shot the drink back and pushed my seat back. “I need a piss.”

  “Need a hand?”

  “Nope!” I staggered across the bar to the gents to take care of business.

  Squinting into the mirror as I washed my hands I tried to focus my fuzzy thoughts. I couldn’t even remember why I was even at the bar. I dried my hands on a paper towel and laughed when I completely missed the bin when I balled it up and tried to ‘score’ with a basketball shot.

  I walked back into the bar noting a couple more people sitting around but it was still fairly quiet. As I neared my table I blinked for a moment when I saw Jenny standing there talking on her phone, then I remembered she’d been sitting with me. I shook my head as though that would ease the fogginess and stumbled forward again. When I was mere feet away from her, Jenny looked up and smiled when she noticed me. “Yeah, it’s all good… I’m getting there. I’ll call you back later.”

  “Looks like you need a hand there, Mr Inebriated,” Jenny said as she placed her phone down on the table and reached out as I stepped closer.

  “Nah, I’m good.” In my drunken stupor I stumbled and went flying forward, crashing Jenny into the wall behind her. She looked up at me with wide eyes and bit on her plump bottom lip. An old feeling stirred inside me keeping me captive to her gaze. I knew it was wrong but I couldn’t for the life of me think why.

  “There’s the Craig I know and love,” Jenny whispered and grazed her fingers along my arms before pushing her chest against mine. “I knew you’d come around one day.”

  My head was swimming and I tried to focus on the person in front of me but it was no good, I was too far gone.

  “You do want me, don’t you Craig.” I closed my eyes as warm hands stroked along my chest and down to my zipper. “It was always just a matter of time.”

  My breath hitched as she gave my dick a gentle squeeze and trailed kisses along my jaw. Without conscious thought for right or wrong, I crashed my lips against hers and pulled her closer, stroking her arms as my tongue explored her mouth.

  Amber

  I stepped into the bar and looked around. Craig had to be here, there was nowhere else I could think of that he would go. I’d tried phoning him but the calls were going straight to voicemail. His mum hadn’t seen or heard from him and neither had Scott. He hadn’t gone home and his gym stuff was still there so he hadn’t gone to beat his frustrations out on the pavement or punch bag. The only other place I could ever recall him talking about going to that would be open was Flanagan’s.

  It was a quiet midweek early evening so I could see immediately that Craig wasn't sitting at the bar when I entered through the double door. Walking past the few round tables near the entrance I cringed at the sound of an old guy making crude comments as I passed behind his chair.

  “Can I help ye, love?” The old guy behind the bar called out as I walked by.

  I smiled and shook my head. “No, I’m fine thanks, just looking for someone.”

  He nodded and carried on wiping down the counter as I made my way through the bar. I eyed over every table and booth at the front but couldn’t see him. When I turned the corner to check out the tables at the rear my world came crashing down around me.

  I stood, rooted to the spot for several seconds, watching my husband’s lips on somebody else, his hands caressing her like they were intimate lovers. I felt sick and struggled to stop my legs from buckling beneath me.

  I stifled a scream with a hand over my mouth and ran. I ran as fast and as far away from that place as possible. How could Craig betray me like that? I continued running until I reached my car, then I crumpled into my seat and let the tears flow.

  “Becki,” I sobbed into the phone a short while later. “It’s me. Can I come and stay with you?”

  “Of course you can. Why, what’s wrong?” Becki asked sounding concerned.

  “I’ll explain later. I just need somewhere to go.”

  “You know you’re always welcome at our place.” She paused for a moment. “What’s going on Ambs?”

  “It’s Craig,” I wailed.

  “Oh shit! Whatever the fucker has done, I’ll have his balls,” she growled. ”I’ll leave work now and meet you there.”

  “No, don’t rush. I need to go home and pack some bits first. I’ll be round later.”

  I heard paper shuffling and the distinct sound of a computer shutting down. “I’m still leaving now. Do you want me to meet you at yours?”

  “No, I’ll be fine. I’ll be over later,” I said through shuddered breaths as I tried to control the tears.

  “Shout if you need me.”

  “Will do.”

  “I love you, Ambs,” Becki said as I was just about to hang up. “Whatever has happened I’m here for you.”

  Guilt washed through me as I thought about how I’d not been there for her recently. “I love you too Bec. I don’t know what I’d do without you,” I whispered.

  “It’s the best friend code,” she joked but I heard the sadness in her voice.

  After I hung up from Becki, I took a moment to compose myself and then after a final look down the road to Flanagan’s, I switched on the car to head home. I was going to pack up what I could and leave, but not before having it out with Craig. I was not going to just run this time.

  Craig

  “I knew you’d come round eventually. I knew I’d eventually get what’s mine.”

  I pulled away from Jenny, sobering up instantly. “What did you just say?”

  “I said I knew one day you would come around and I’d get you.” Jenny batted her eyes and stepped close again, running her fingertips down my chest. “I knew I’d get what’s mine.”

  As I looked at her and my head fog began to clear I realised what we’d just done.

  Fuck, no!

  What had I done?

  Guilt zapped my like a bolt of lightning and I stumbled back, putting distance between us. “That shouldn’t have happened. That should never have happened.”

  “Oh come on Craig, you wanted that as much as me.”

  I shook my head furiously. I was still foggy from the alcohol and lost my balance, falling back into my chair. There was no way in hell I would have done that if I had been in the right frame of mind. I would never have betrayed Amber in that way. I rested my elbows on the table and cradled my now pounding head in my hands. “It was the drink talking. I think you better go, Jenny,” I growled.

  She was about to protest when her phone started ringing next me. I glanced down and saw the name ‘Kordell’ flashing on the screen along with the picture of a man I’d learned to despise years ago. Aleisha’s eldest brother. Seeing I’d noticed the phone, Jenny snatched it up and laughed nervously. Suddenly things started falling into place in my confused mind. The calls, the messages, Amber’s attack, it suddenly made sense. “You fucking bitch,” I growled and jumped to my feet. “After all this time, you were right under my nose. What a fucking idiot, why didn’t I see it?”r />
  “Aha, the light bulb moment. It took you long enough.”

  I lunged forward clenching my fists. Never in my life had I wanted to hit a woman, yet this one constantly made me want to pummel her to the floor. I got right in her face but she didn’t back down. “Why? What was in this for you?”

  She shrugged without remorse. “You, your money, revenge.”

  My hands flexed and twisted with my control on wanting to lash out diminishing. I turned my back on her and stepped away a few paces. My anger was bubbling over like I would explode. I was furious at what I’d realised Jenny and Kordell had been behind, what Amber had lost because of them. I was disgusted at myself for letting my guard down and succumbing to the temptations of a bitch like Jenny. Mostly I felt the burden of guilt for being so weak that I betrayed Amber in the worst possible way.

  I grasped my hair and continued pacing. For the first time in recent years I felt like things were spiralling out of my control.

  “Tell that fucking prick to back off,” I seethed, getting in Jenny’s face again. “I have no proof to do anything right now but rest assured I will have everyone on this to bring you two down. Stay away from me and stay away from Amber or I swear to God you will pay for everything.” I picked up her bag and shoved it at her. “Now get the fuck out.”

  She finally seemed to be seeing that I wasn’t someone to mess with and grabbed her things. As she started scurrying away I shouted, “Oh, and Jenny?”

  She turned back looking nervous. “Yeah?”

  “You’re fired. And don’t bother looking for anything else in London; I’ll make sure your reputation precedes you.”

  The taxi journey home gave me time to sober up and think about the day’s events. I had to find Amber and tell her how sorry I was. How I’d overreacted when I’d stormed out of my office and left her alone. I closed my eyes and threw my arm across them when I debated if I would tell her about Jenny or not. I knew I needed to. I’d promised I would always be honest with her. But I was a coward and couldn’t risk losing her.