by Lucia Franco
Hayden finished with his giant sandwich and chips. He was lucky he could pretty much eat anything. I’d give anything to just eat whatever I wanted. Most of the guys’ team could. Being full while at the gym was uncomfortable and I’d rather be a little hungry.
At least it’s what I told myself.
Hayden squinted his eyes, and reluctantly took my drink and finished it. “You’re lying.”
“Fine! I’m lying!” I caved. “Truth is, I’m stressed about gym, so I don’t really have an appetite.” I bit my lip and then said, “Honestly, sometimes I question myself and why I ever came here. Maybe I’m not cut out for this. ”
Hayden tilted his head to the side, studying me. “We all have days like this, Aid. Tomorrow won’t be as bad. You’re still somewhat new so you’re still transitioning into this lifestyle. ”
“I’m not new, I’ve been here for like, a million months now.”
“I’ve been part of World Cup for years. I was overwhelmed and almost walked out a few times once I transitioned to elite. The training is way more rigorous, the hours are long. It’s draining on so many levels that sometimes I wondered what I got myself into. But at the same time, I couldn’t imagine not doing gymnastics. It’s in my blood, just like it’s in yours. Even when you have days where you hate it and want to walk out, you know you can’t. Some days you compare yourself to your teammates and feel inadequate. You’re not. You’re just having an off day. Some days are really lonely too. It’s the hardest when you go home and have no parents or friends to turn to. I have my sister and she understands this life, but that’s different.” Hayden paused and looked at his hands, thinking about what to say next. “You love the sport too much to give up. And you know you never will. It’s just not possible, so you deal with the loneliness, you deal with the bad days, and you truck on.”
I swallowed back the lump in my throat. “You’re right. You’re so right on everything you said.” Tears were brimming the back of my eyes. I didn’t want to cry, but I had so much on my plate and I felt them ready to spill over at any second. I was bottling it all up and I hadn’t realized how lonely I was until that moment. Hayden noticed my change. He grabbed our trash, threw it out, and then took my hand and we walked out to his car.
I didn’t say anything about the hand holding, because truthfully, it felt nice. I even leaned into his arm and held on to him. Even though he was only a little older than me, he gave me security in his touch and I soaked it up. He was my comfort, my shoulder to lean on. My heart softened a little for Hayden and I gave him a gentle squeeze.
Hayden pulled open the passenger side door, but before I could climb in, he pulled me into a bear hug. I automatically wrapped my arms around him and buried my head into the crook of his neck, closing my eyes.
“Don’t stress about earlier. It’s over with,” he spoke against my cheek. “Focus on the future.”
I nodded, unable to form words. “I’m not sure what I’d do without you, Hayden.”
I was being emotional and I hated it. I didn’t deal well with emotions, kudos to my mother. These feelings were foreign and unwelcomed and I wanted them gone. All they did was remind me just how human I really was.
Hayden held on to me, rubbing my arms and giving me strength. I hugged him a little tighter, taking everything he offered. “I’m always here for you.”
“Thank you.” Taking a chance, I asked with a shaky voice, “Do you think you’d want to come over tonight after gym? You know, just to hang out? I could use the company.”
Pulling back, Hayden looked down at me. His face was soft and his eyes warm. “Sure. I’d love to.” He smiled genuinely, then pressed a kiss to my forehead. “We can even watch Mean Girls if you want.”
My stomach curled with anticipation. I needed to put my game face on and focus. I was here to train, not worry about what my coach thought about me or how bitchy the girls were.
I climbed into the car, my head flopping back against the leather headrest. I took a deep breath and turned to Hayden. “I got this.”
I knew there was something wrong the moment I woke up—two hours early and in complete agony. Pain tore through my lower belly as a fire ripped through me like an inferno that couldn’t be doused. But it didn’t just stop there. It went up my side and wrapped around. My back throbbed as if a heavy metal drummer was using my body as practice, the pounding was nonstop.
With my knees pressed to my chest bound by my arms, I curled into a tiny ball, wishing on a star this throbbing sting would go away. I’d never in my life had cramping quite like this before and I wasn’t sure what to think of it. I squeezed my eyes tight and chewed my bottom lip raw in a matter of minutes. The only thing that shot through my mind was getting to the hospital immediately.
Thing was, I didn’t think I was capable of driving. The pain was that intense. Nausea coiled my stomach and I fought to keep the contents I had for dinner with Hayden down.
Glancing at the clock, it was too early to call anyone, but I needed someone. Madeline was my first thought since she’d come with me to see Dr. DeLang, but something in my gut told me not to call her. The only other person I felt comfortable calling was Hayden. It was either him, or I drove myself.
I shot Hayden a quick text hoping he’d see it when he woke up. I told him I needed help and I was sick. In the meantime, I would take a heavy dose of Motrin—my go to drug—and soak in a hot bath. But trying to stand hurt and it caused me to hunch over and stop. Taking a deep breath, I slowly stood up again, a hand pressed to my stomach this time. As I walked, I could swear my muscles were being ripped to shreds. With this kind of pain, I knew there was no way I could train today. It just wasn’t physically possible. That being said, I was terrified to call Kova and tell him, especially with how things left off between us. It was awkward, and I’d be surprised if he’d even answer me anyway.
I turned on the tub and waited for it to fill, I leaned down and pulled out a carton of Epsom Salt and a bottle of Motrin. I dumped a generous amount into the hot water and swirled my fingers around the filling tub. My mom always had this stuff in the house and swore it would heal internal ailments. Once I started training at World Cup, it became a staple in my condo.
Rising up from the tub, a sharp pain shot through my belly. I cringed, gushing out a loud breath. Even leaning over at this angle was agony. Whatever it was, I prayed a doctor could diagnose it and heal me by tonight.
I was a hot mess.
Stripping off my clothes, I looked in the mirror and my eyes widened. I was pale and looked like death. My eyes were hollow and the color weak. There were yellow tinted bruises all around my hips and I was skinnier than ever. Cruella De Vil, also known as my mother, would be proud of my weight loss.
I filled the glass cup I kept in my bathroom with water. The back of the ibuprofen bottle said two pills, but I was going to take four like I typically did. I quickly washed the orange pills down and drank another glass of water before stepping up to the side of the bathtub.
Lifting my knee, I dipped my foot into the water, hating the first steamy touch. I drew in a long, tired breath and exhaled before sinking into the water.
Once my entire body was in, I leaned back on a plastic pillow and propped my knees up, then closed my eyes. The water came up to my neck and I sighed in contentment. I sat completely motionless, trying to relax and allow whatever magic the Epsom Salt contained to do its job. Hopefully the pain relievers would kick in because not being able to move wasn’t working for me.
A good five minutes into my bath, and I tightened my stomach as a blaze of fire erupted inside. The throbbing in my back still hadn’t gone away. I panted and started a countdown for the pain to actually leave. When I reached one, I slowly stretched out my right leg, then my left. My hips were beginning to feel pinched and I knew I needed to release them to full position.
The hot water and pain relievers were finally loosening up my muscles. Being as tired as I had been lately, my eyes rolled shut and I dozed off i
n the tub, with the tenderness in my stomach floating away.
Somewhere in the back of my mind my phone was ringing, but it wasn’t the right sound. It was faint, and a heavy pounding was waking me up.
“Adrianna!”
I rustled, feeling water splash around me. My eyes popped open and I jumped, realizing I had fallen asleep in the bath.
“Fuck.”
Hayden was yelling my name, probably waking my neighbors up, probably petrified something happened to me.
I wrapped a towel around my body and yelled, “I’m coming!” as I headed to the door. A quick glance at the clock and I had my answer as to why Hayden was blowing up my phone and pounding on my door like a lunatic. It’d been over an hour since I sent him the text message. Apparently exhaustion took control whenever it wanted to.
Quickly, I unbolted the locks and opened the door.
“Adrianna, where have you been? I thought something was wrong with you! Are you okay?” He rubbed his forehead after throwing the questions at me. “What happened?”
Once he stepped inside, I locked the door. I wrapped the towel around me tighter and said, “I’m so sorry for worrying you, Hayden. I fell asleep in the tub.”
“Do you have any idea how dangerous that is?”
I flinched. “I know. It was reckless of me.”
“Everything okay?”
“Not really. My stomach hurts pretty badly. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I need to skip practice today and go to the doctor.”
The look on Hayden’s face mimicked mine. Distress. He knew missing gym was a huge no. He nodded his head and said, “Go get dressed and I’ll call the gym and relay the message for you.”
A tender smile eased my face. “Thanks. I appreciate it.”
As quickly as possible, my feet padded across the carpet into my room. Before I shut the door, it dawned on me that Hayden himself was late for practice.
“Oh my God, Hayden! You’re going to get in trouble for missing practice!” I yelled regrettably. “I’m so sorry!”
“Don’t worry about me, let’s just get you to the doctor. My coaches aren’t hard-asses like yours anyway, so it won’t be as big of a deal for me.”
Nodding, I closed my bedroom door and dropped my towel. I grabbed a pair of black yoga pants and a hoodie along with a sports bra and panties. I slipped on my clothes as swiftly as possible, the sudden onset of chills caused my teeth to chatter. The only thing I could think of was I had some sort of virus that caused the pain to zip line through my body. Maybe food poisoning. I had been on a carb free diet for weeks and last night when Hayden and I watched Mean Girls together, he brought pizza over. This could possibly be my stomach reacting to the junk food and grease. If this was my body’s way of revolting against my one night of fun, then I was never touching pizza again.
Even with my door shut, Hayden’s voice carried down the hall. Every time he went to speak, he barely got a few words in before he was abruptly cut off. This happened four or five times, the pattern repeating constantly, which was surprising to me. I felt like I was listening to an episode of Maury. No one spoke above the coaches, and when they did, they spoke louder and above people. Whoever was on the other line, they weren’t happy with him.
In this moment, I would forever be thankful for Hayden Moore’s friendship.
“Ready?” I asked.
His jaw dropped. “Your eyes are blood shot.” He walked over and pressed a hand to my head. “You’re hot.”
I chuckled. “Thanks.”
Grabbing my hand, he pulled me to the front door. “That coach of yours is a piece of work. Thank God I only work with him on rings.”
The side of my mouth pulled up. “Tell me about it.”
“Do you have a doctor or are we going to the emergency room?”
I paused in my tracks. “I don’t have a doctor…and I really don’t want to go to the ER. Let me do a Google search and find a local twenty-four hour urgent care center.”
Hayden cleared his throat. “Ah, you don’t have a guardian to sign off on anything should the occasion arise?”
My head snapped up and met his worried look. He was right. I didn’t have a parent or a legal guardian while I was here. This could get tricky. Luckily for me, I’d gotten great at lying lately and had the ID Avery made me that made me legal.
“I highly doubt there’s going to be an issue. They’re most likely going to insist on payment up front, which I have cash I can pay with.”
“Where’s your insurance card?” he asked as we walked out of my condo. “Do you have it with you?”
“I do, but since I’m paying with cash I don’t think I’ll need it.”
I rattled off the address to a local urgent care center and ten minutes later we pulled into a lit up facility with a big red cross on the front of the building. We were just in time as another wave of cramps hit my stomach. I prayed the wait wouldn’t be long as I slowly walked up to the entrance, slightly hunched over with Hayden by my side. The doors slid open, and I looked around at the empty lobby.
Thank God.
A heavyset woman picked her head up and glanced at us as we made our way to the front desk. She sighed irritably and asked, “What can I do for you?” She clearly wasn’t a morning person.
“I need to see a doctor, please.”
The woman sneered. “What seems to be the problem?”
“My stomach and back are killing me.”
She looked at the computer. “Are you pregnant?”
My jaw dropped, and Hayden froze. “God, no!”
“You’d be surprised how many girls are pregnant by your age, if not younger,” she mumbled under her breath, typing away, loud enough for me to hear.
“Ma’am, I’m not pregnant, I’m in serious pain though. I feel like someone is beating on my back and it hurts to stand.”
“All right, let’s get a few things squared away first.” Ms. Attitude pulled out a folder with an impatient look. I handed her my fake ID and informed her I’d be paying with cash. An open chair was positioned next to the counter so I took the liberty of sitting down. I sighed in relief and closed my eyes, grateful Hayden took over filling in the blanks, asking me for the answers. He made a comment about how good the fake ID looked and I mumbled I’d have Avery get him one. That was as much effort as I could handle at the moment.
Thirty-nine agonizing minutes later, I was brought back to an exam room. She checked my vitals and noted a fever. Like every doctor’s office, I was freezing and waiting impatiently on the paper-covered table. The pain was so intense in my back, I started rocking to find a way to ease it.
Knock. Knock.
A stout doctor waltzed in wearing bold, black-rimmed glasses pushed up high, resting on the bridge of his nose. He had a warm smile, something I desperately needed after Ms. Attitude in the waiting room and the way I was feeling.
No introduction, the doctor obtained some basic medical information and got down to business.
“All right Adrianna…Lie back on the table please. Let’s get a feel for what’s going on. It says here you’re a gymnast,” he looked down, then back up at me, squinting his eyes. “And training around fifty hours a week?” He paused, a crease formed between his eyes. “Is that right?”
“Yes, sir.” The doctor looked at Hayden like he was looking for confirmation.
He dropped the file onto the gray countertop, slapped on a pair of gloves and turned toward me. Instinctively, I moved my hands higher up on my stomach and the doctor pressed his fingers to my lower belly. I flinched when he gave a solid push, causing him to pause and look at me. I thought he was going to push through my stomach.
“That hurts?”
“A little bit.”
“When was your last menstrual cycle?”
Pursing my lips together, I tilted my head to the side and looked at the corner of the ceiling. I had to think about that for a moment. “About three weeks ago? My cycle is usually off, so I don’t keep track of it.�
��
“Are you sexually active?”
“No!” I shouted it like a fool. Clearing my throat, I answered again. “No, I’m not.”
Hayden threw his hands up. “And that’s my cue to step out.”
“And who are you, young man?”
“Her brother,” he lied smoothly, walking toward the door. “I’ll be right outside, Aid.”
“Thanks, Hayden.”
Once Hayden left, the doctor eyed me suspiciously.
His chin dipped to his chest and looked over his specs. “I’ll ask again since your brother isn’t here. Are you sexually active?”
“Yes.”
“Are you on birth control?”
“No.”
“Is there any chance you are pregnant?”
“No. I recently took the morning after pill so I’m good.”
“The morning after pill is not always effective. Have you considered going on birth control?”
My heart dropped into my gut at the mention of the pill not being effective. I stared, stone-faced at the doctor as a million thoughts ran through my head. This could not be happening.
“I…I only just became active,” I stammered. My jaw quivered and I fought to regain control of my emotions.
His eyes narrowed. “It only takes one time to become pregnant. Unless you intend to become a mother, we have a female doctor you can follow up with once you are feeling better who can perform a Pap smear if you’d like and go from there.”
“Thanks, I’ll think about it.”
The doctor applied more pressure this time, pressing down with both sets of fingers around my abdomen. My body tensed, my stomach flexing under his touch.
“That hurts really bad,” I gritted out, crossing my legs as if that would help.
“Sit up.” He listened to my heart, my back, and down my sides. As he pushed around near my spine, I grimaced in discomfort. When the doctor pushed on my side near my kidney, I went ramrod straight and sucked in an audible breath, wincing.
“Adrianna, I’m going to need a urine sample to rule out pregnancy and infection.”
