Loving Bella

by Renee Ryan

  Shane’s heart pounded with regret. He should have known that particular detail would come out at some point, but he’d been too stupid to prepare a defense.

  “It was innocent enough.” Shane stabbed a glance at the door. Maybe he could leave before this got ugly.

  “Have you kissed her yet?”

  Too late.

  But…

  Now wait…

  If Shane wasn’t mistaken, Beau’s eyes danced with…delight?

  “What is wrong with you?” Shane ground out. “You’re Bella’s brother. Aren’t you supposed to be upset I’ve been chasing after your sister when I promised to protect her while in my care? Yet all along I’ve been thinking about…wanting to…that is…”

  Shane gripped the arms of the chair and let his words trail off. His chest tightened at what he’d nearly revealed.

  Despite Shane’s telling admission, Beau continued calmly blinking at him, his gaze patient and unwavering as though he had all the time in the world to wait for Shane to collect his thoughts and continue.

  Shane had nothing more to say.

  At last, Beau broke the silence. “I just have one more question.”

  “Fair enough.”

  “Do you love her?”

  Why lie now? Why turn this farce of a meeting into something uglier than it had already become? “Yes.”

  Beau muttered something under his breath about godsends and blessings, then added a little louder, “Then I return to my earlier question. Why aren’t you pursuing her?”

  “It’s not that simple.”

  “Why not?”

  “We… I… It… It just isn’t.” Shane shut his mouth. He was blathering like an idiot. But what was he supposed to say? He couldn’t disclose the reasons for his reluctance to begin a personal relationship with Bella. To do so, he would have to reveal her liaison with the viscount. That wasn’t Shane’s secret to tell.

  “She calls you Shane, you call her Bella. You hold hands in church. The way I see it, it’s very simple.” Beau said. “All I ask is that you court her properly.”

  Shane looked away from Beau’s well-meaning advice. Court her properly. Fight for her. Bottom line, if Shane had any chance of happiness he had to stop waffling where Bella was concerned. He had to act. He had to—

  The door burst open and in spilled the very subject of his thoughts. “Shane. I’ve been looking for you everywhere. There’s no residency clause, no time restrictions. Don’t you see? That’s your answer. It’s…Oh!” Her voice trailed off and she simply looked from one man to the other.

  Shane rose and stared at Bella. He knew what he had to do. No more doubt. No more allowing the past to rule his actions. It was time he made some concrete decisions. No. It was time he did some proper courting.

  Bella looked from one man to the other and then repeated the process two more times. They were two big, beautiful males. And the masculine backdrop of Beau’s office only added to the strong impression they made as they stared at her.

  The fact that these men neither realized nor cared how handsome they were made them all the more appealing. Without an ounce of vanity, they were a little too large, a little too confident and utterly terrifying.

  Gathering her courage, her eyes connected with Shane’s. “I’ll come back later,” she said.

  “No.” Beau rose from his chair. “I was just leaving. Shane has something he wants to say to you.” He looked pointedly at Shane. “Isn’t that right?”

  Shane nodded.

  Bella sighed. Obviously, something of monumental importance had been said about her.

  More than a little agitated at the notion of her brother discussing her with Shane, she stepped to one side to make a path for Beau’s exit.

  But instead of looking at her brother as he approached, she kept her eyes on Shane. The intensity of his gaze reminded her of the first time they’d met when Ethan had cut his leg. Even then, before she’d known him, she’d sensed he was a man who made things better for those around him. She hadn’t known he would change her life so dramatically.

  Good thing she liked drama.

  Through loving him, Bella had learned to think of another. To worry for another’s well-being and happiness above her own.

  Bella had found her life’s partner in Shane. It was time he quit fighting her and accepted that fact.

  Before exiting the room, Beau stopped beside her and squeezed her hand. “Be tough, Bella. Relentless, as you are with everything that truly matters to you.”

  As she stared into her brother’s eyes she saw the truth there. He understood. Shane had revealed enough for Beau to know the situation. And now, he was telling her to battle for the man she loved.

  And so she would.

  Beau closed the door behind him with a soft click. For a long moment, Bella and Shane didn’t move, didn’t breathe. They were caught in some sort of odd moment in time, as if they were locked inside a photograph.

  At last, Shane broke eye contact and looked at the satchel she carried. He lifted a questioning brow.

  “I found your solution,” she said.

  “Yes?”

  “I’ll show you.”

  Glad for the distraction, she slid past him, pulling the papers out of the case as she walked. With a thump, she set Peter Ford’s will on top of Beau’s desk and gestured Shane forward. “Page six. Read the tenth line.”

  He slowly joined her, trepidation sparkling in his eyes.

  “Trust me, Shane.” They both knew she spoke of more than his father’s will.

  His steps faltered. Then he smiled. Really smiled. “Let’s see what you found.”

  She took a shaky breath and turned the pages for him.

  He bent his head over the will. She waited as his gaze flew down the page. And then his eyes stopped moving.

  “Read it out loud,” she suggested.

  Glancing up, he cocked his head at her then lowered his gaze again. “This agreement is contingent on Shane Bartlett practicing medicine in New York City.”

  Impatience had her tapping her foot on the hardwood floor. “Well?”

  He looked at her, looked back at the will. “I don’t—”

  “There’s no residency clause. There’s nothing specifically requiring you to live in New York City.”

  “Bella, darling, I can’t practice medicine if I’m not in the city.”

  He’d called her darling. Oh, the dear, dear man.

  “You could live here. Travel there four times a year.”

  He stood rigidly, with the unforgiving posture of a man who refused to yield. “Patients require day-to-day care.”

  “Then hire partners, doctors who will be there for the day-to-day care. With your father’s money you could afford to hire several nurses, as well.”

  Shane swallowed a few times and she realized he didn’t know how to respond.

  “It’s not a perfect solution, but it could work.”

  “We’ll have to check the legalities,” he said slowly. “And, of course, we’d have to find the right doctors. But if you’re correct, I could have a clinic both here and in New York.”

  Her eyes lit up. “Oh, Shane. That’s precisely what I was thinking.”

  His gaze locked on a point above her head. “Women like my mother would have decent medical care here and in my old neighborhood.” A slow grin spread across his face. “My father would hate that.”

  “And best of all, you could afford to care for your sisters, as well.”

  “Thanks be to God.”

  Bella smiled. “The Lord has blessed you, Shane. Just like I knew He would.”

  Shoving the papers slightly away from him, Shane pierced Bella with one of his most intense looks to date. “Bella O’Toole, whether you’re right or not, the real blessing in my eyes is that you cared enough to look for an answer.”

  She gave him a shaky smile, realizing no person in his life had cared enough for Shane. Not his mother and certainly not his father. “Of course I looked. I lov
e you, Shane.”

  Blinking, he pulled her into his arms and held her close. “I love you, too,” he whispered into her hair.

  She flung her wrists around his neck and clung to him. “It’s about time you admitted it.”

  His hold tightened. “Tell me you love me, Bella. I want to hear you say it again.”

  “I love you, Shane. With all my heart.”

  She felt him relax against her. Bella’s pulse slowed to a lovely cadence, beating in perfect time with Shane’s. This was where she belonged. Oh, thank You, Lord.

  Slowly, deliberately, he released her. “We have a lot to talk about. Your past and mine will always be between us if we don’t settle our differences now.”

  She tugged her bottom lip between her teeth and allowed herself a moment of hope. “I found a passage in Scripture that I think applies. It’s from Luke, in the story about the woman who comes to wash Jesus’s feet.”

  “One who is forgiven little loves little,” he quoted from memory.

  “Yes. And it goes without saying, a person who is forgiven a lot, loves a lot.” She smiled. “You know, Shane, I have a lot of love to give.”

  “As do I.”

  They laughed. He took her hand in his, brought it to his lips. A wave of affection washed over her. She had found the man of her dreams. But the moment his mouth brushed her knuckles, a soft knock came at the door.

  “Bella?” Hannah’s lilting voice seeped into the room. “Are you in there?”

  Shane released Bella’s hand. “We’ll talk later,” he said.

  Bella gripped his arm, a wave of desperation filled her. “Tonight? After we’ve finished seeing patients?”

  “Of course.” He smiled at her. “After we finish seeing patients.”

  “Does that mean you’re hiring me back?”

  He ducked his head. “I should have never fired you.”

  “I knew you’d see things my way.”

  “What can I say?” He winked. “I’m a reasonable man.”

  “Oh. I like reasonable men.”

  A grin flashed across his lips. “Come in, Hannah,” Shane called out. “Before Bella has me promising her the moon and the stars and a rainbow or two.”

  Hannah popped her head through a small slit. Her gaze slid to Shane in silent apology. “Bella has a visitor.”

  At the softly spoken words, a sense of foreboding filled Bella. The same feeling must have passed through Shane, because he stiffened at Hannah’s announcement.

  Bella reached to Shane for support. “Who…who is it?”

  In answer, Hannah handed her a small piece of paper with engraved lettering on it. “He gave me his card.”

  Reading the name, Bella’s knees buckled. Shane reached out to steady her.

  Tucked in the safety of his arms, she let the card flutter from her fingers. “It’s William,” she whispered. “He’s come for me.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Powerless to stop her life from spiraling out of control, Bella clung to Shane as he helped her catch her balance. When he set her away from him and left nothing but lifeless air between them, she thought, Surely, this can’t be real. William couldn’t be here. Not in her brother’s home.

  But he was.

  And the look of defeat that flashed in Shane’s eyes added to the reality of this horrible moment.

  He started for the door.

  Her hand shot out and stopped his progress. “Shane, no, don’t go.” Help me, Lord. Help me to convince him to stay with me. “I don’t want this. I don’t want him.”

  He dropped his head, took a deep breath and then lifted his flat gaze to hers. His eyes were so cold. So emotionless. But she knew he hurt. She could feel his pain in her own heart.

  Oh, Shane.

  “You should hear what he has to say. He’s traveled a long distance for you.”

  “I didn’t ask him to come.”

  “You did. By running away and ignoring his letters, you forced his hand.” He cupped her cheek, his touch light and forgiving and completely at odds with the dark look in his eyes. “You have to finish what you started, Bella. You’ll never know how you truly feel if you don’t.”

  She ordered her voice to remain even, but her growing panic made her words come out shrill. “I don’t need to talk to him to know how I feel.”

  Sympathy flashed in his gaze. “Nevertheless, you should take this opportunity to alleviate any doubt.”

  He was so calm, so in control. The flare of resentment surprised her and her reflex was to turn on him, but she shook it off. Shane hadn’t done anything wrong. “Please. Don’t leave me alone with William.”

  “Are you afraid of him?” Shane’s eyes hardened with the look of a man protecting a woman he loved. “Will he hurt you?”

  His concern cut through her anxiety. She wanted to reach up and cup his face. She wanted to kiss him and beg him to believe it was him that she loved. “No. Of course not. I—” She cut her own words off. How could she explain her real fear? How could she tell him she was terrified he might never come back once he walked out that door? “Shane, I—”

  William’s booming voice cut her off. “I will wait no longer. Bella? Bella!” He knocked hard on the door. “Are you in there?”

  At the sound of the familiar voice, her stomach dipped and she looked frantically for an exit. There was only one door.

  And Shane stepped toward it, away from her. “You must face your past, Bella. And you must do it alone.”

  “Shane, please.”

  Shaking his head, he took another step away from her. “She’s in here,” he called out.

  The next second, William burst into the room.

  Bella’s pulse drummed in her ears as Shane melted into the shadows and William took another step forward.

  Her first thought was that the viscount looked as handsome as ever, still tall and lean, with sharp, angular features and perfectly tailored clothing. But inside his expensive attire, William looked lost in his own image, like an actor playing an overrehearsed role.

  Was this the man she’d nearly sacrificed her soul for?

  As his gaze hunted for Bella, Bella’s gaze strayed to Shane. He hadn’t left the room yet. And although his features were curtained by the shadows, she knew he was standing ready to protect her if William crossed a line.

  So caught up in staring at Shane, she nearly missed the moment when William’s gaze found her.

  With an exaggerated sweep of his hand he removed his hat and bowed to her. The gesture was so formal, so over the top, she wondered if it wasn’t a bit calculated.

  “Bella, my darling. I have found you at last.”

  An idle smile drifted along his lips and he reached out his hand in silent summons.

  Tossing her head back, Bella refused his call. And again, she wondered what had attracted her to the viscount. Only months before she’d been desperate for William’s love. Now, she felt nothing.

  “I’ll leave you two alone,” Shane said into the silence.

  Bella reached to him. “No, stay. Please.”

  He must have sensed her panic because his gaze softened and he gave her the look he used when his patients thought he might abandon them during a procedure. “I’ll be right outside if you need me.”

  William straightened, his eyes fixed on a spot over Shane’s shoulder as though Shane didn’t warrant his full attention. “No need to fuss over her, my good man. Bella will be leaving with me shortly.”

  A ruthless look crossed Shane’s face. “Bella will make that decision.”

  Before William could respond, Shane exited the room and shut the door behind him with a hard snap.

  After months of separation, she was alone with William again. Her stomach rolled over itself in trepidation, but she kept her gaze steady. William held no more power over her. The relief that came with the thought nearly buckled her knees. She wanted to shout at him to leave at once. It was over between them, finished. But she restrained herself. A moment like this required
a certain amount of dignity.

  Unaware of her thoughts, William bowed over her hand and touched his lips to her knuckles. “You win, my dear.” Tenderness and appreciation mingled in his gaze, but she knew better than to believe in him. He was only doing what he felt he needed to do in order to accomplish his goal.

  She slipped her hand free. “What have I won, William?”

  “Why, my dear, isn’t it obvious?” He gave her the smile she once thought so charming but now appeared a little wicked. “You have won me.”

  “You?” Bella couldn’t quite believe the arrogance of the man and a wave of impatience whipped through her. “What exactly do you mean by that?”

  “I am a free man.” Seconds ticked by before he added, “My wife is dead.”

  At the cold tone of his voice, a shiver iced over her skin. His wife was dead? Did he not miss the woman at all? “I am sorry for your loss.”

  He waved a dismissive hand. “She was always sickly. Her passing was a blessing in the end.”

  She thought she saw a flicker of something dark in his eyes, but then he smiled, putting the suave viscount back in place. Who was this man, really? Had she ever known him?

  “I want you to come home with me, Bella. Back to London where you belong.”

  Where she belonged? Bella caught her rising gasp between her teeth and stared at him with a steady look. She had once craved to hear him say those exact words. But home was Denver now, not London. Home was with Shane, wherever that took them. “I can’t go to London with you. I want more than the stage has to offer.”

  The satisfaction in his eyes put her on guard. “Then we are in agreement. Whatever you want, Bella, I will provide it for you.” He ran his blue eyes over her in lazy thoroughness. “I want you with me and I am willing to pay for the privilege.”

  Unlike the last time he’d made his proposition, his words left her cold with rage. This time around, she heard what he wasn’t saying as much as what he said.

  “Go on, William.” She clasped her hands calmly together. “Tell me what you’re offering. You’ve come this far, you might as well expand on the details.”

  “I will give you the security you crave.”