She looked at him questioningly. “My, but we’re cynical.”
“I’ve been taking lessons from you.”
“Well listen up, Mr. Glass-is-half-empty, your parents are cool. Your brothers are fantastic. Very funny and good-looking.”
“Is that so?” he said, his jealousy cranking up a notch. He should never have left her alone with Alex and Luke.
“Yes, that’s so. But when you look at your parents, it’s easy to see where you guys got your good looks and your ethics.”
“You don’t say.”
“Flo and Tom are a handsome couple. They have passed on all the right genes to their offspring.”
“Which offspring in particular?” he couldn’t help asking.
“Are you fishing for a compliment?” She raised one eyebrow.
“You bet I am.”
“Well in my humble opinion, you’re the best looking of the lot.”
“Thank you.”
“But more important than looks is their values. I find it inspirational that they had problems and worked them out because they’re really and truly in love.”
Joe nodded. “Yeah, like I said, they’ve set a standard impossible to live up to. And I gave up trying.”
She frowned. “I never really believed you meant that.”
“Well, believe it. I feel lucky to have found a niche in the cuddlers program.”
“Really? Being a cuddler satisfies all your emotional needs?”
He nodded. “Pretty much. It’s like the family I’ll probably never have. Hasn’t it fulfilled those needs for you?”
“I guess,” she said. But he got the feeling her heart wasn’t in that answer.
Joe got another feeling, that he’d somehow let her down. He didn’t much like it. But since he wasn’t quite sure what he’d done, or not done, he didn’t know how to fix it.
“The program is a good thing,” he said reaching in the dark to repair damage. “It’s given me a lot of ideas for on-site child care in the restaurants. Not to mention that you and I have become very good friends.”
They were more than that, and he knew it. But he wasn’t prepared to name it. Love? The idea made him want to hightail it in the other direction. Especially after she’d reminded him of his parents’ separation. Not only that, he didn’t want to burden Liz with emotional declarations. She had mellowed; he liked what they had. Why rock the boat? Friends was a good safe label, he decided.
“And you’re perfectly content with friendship?” she asked, a frown marring the smooth skin of her forehead.
“Absolutely.” He nodded.
“I see,” she said in a voice that told him she didn’t see at all. She pulled her hand from his.
That was bad enough. But it was the shadow of disillusionment and sadness in her eyes that whacked out his world even more.
Liz straightened the red, white and blue paper tablecloth and napkins covering one of the long tables set up in the cafeteria to hold goodies. She and Essie Martinez had agreed on a Fourth of July motif for the volunteer thank-you reception since the holiday was about a week away. And getting into the milieu of that holiday, Liz thought how Regional Medical Center volunteers were dynamite. One especially tall, dark, and hunky cuddler came immediately to mind.
Followed quickly by a sharp stab of pain.
What had made her think that calling the weird, wild, wacky relationship they shared friendship would spare her the hurt and humiliation of a broken heart? She kicked herself for breaking her self-imposed rules—never be friends with a guy. It gets complicated. Especially when you fall in love with him. Several things had crystallized for her after he’d stopped by to see her the other night. He didn’t want more than friendship. He didn’t want a serious relationship. He didn’t want her for anything long term. And in spite of herself, she had fallen head over heels in love with Joe Marchetti.
“Liz?”
She looked up to see Sam standing beside her. Shaking her head slightly to clear it she said, “Hi, Samantha. How long have you been there?”
“Long enough. You were lost in thought. Does it have anything to do with our best looking volunteer whose last name starts with Marchetti?”
“Could be,” Liz admitted. “But if you spread that around, I’ll deny it.”
Sam made a cross over her heart. “No one will hear it from me, boss. Anything I can do to help?”
Liz shook her head. “No help is necessary. We’re just friends.” Even she heard the bitter emphasis on the word.
“Is there a problem with that?”
Yes. And the devil of it was that she was the one who’d insisted on it. She had no right to be upset because he’d actually listened to her. But right and rational thought went out the window when a catch like Joe Marchetti walked in the front door.
Liz had been foolish enough to think that she was immune to love. How arrogant was that? Now she was facing her worst fear—hook, line, and sinker in love with a guy who wanted to be her pal, buddy, chum.
Now her heart hurt.
She was tempted to go to the hospital’s cardiology department and see if there was any treatment for her disorder. But she knew her malady wouldn’t show up on any of the tests and there was no medicine she could take to make it better. After a lot of thought during some sleepless nights, she had decided on a prescription for her particular cardiac condition.
“Is there a problem being friends with Joe?” Sam asked again.
Liz met the other woman’s gaze and forced herself to focus. This wasn’t something she wanted to discuss. She would give her the placebo response. “No problem at all.”
“Good.” Sam angled her head toward the door. “Because he’s here. And he’s coming this way.”
Liz kept telling herself not to look in his direction even as she turned her head and let her parched spirit drink in the sight of him. She didn’t have the willpower to deny herself. Joe had become like nourishment to her soul. Her heart started to pound, her stomach quivered as if a hundred hummingbirds had nested there and were stretching their wings. Worst of all, her legs trembled, threatening to land her on her keister right there in the cafeteria.
He looked so wonderful. That lock of dark hair that tumbled onto his forehead. His big, friendly smile showing straight white teeth that would do his orthodontist proud. His white dress shirt was wrinkled from a day at the office, as were his navy pin-striped slacks. A red-and-blue silk tie hung from his loosened collar, drawing her attention to his wide, muscled chest.
Liz shivered. She knew the sensation of being held in his arms, clasped against that stalwart chest. She knew the feel of his powerful body cradling hers. And the magic of his kiss. She had expected to regret all those sensations. Instead, she was grateful to have such heart-stopping memories.
Like the fragrance of his aftershave. It surrounded her now, as he stopped beside her. “Hello, ladies.”
“Hi, Joe,” Sam said. “I’ve got to go.”
He gave her a look of mock hurt. “That’s not very good for my self-esteem. I show up. You split.”
Liz wasn’t as worried about his feelings as she was being alone with him. “Where are you off to in such a hurry, Sam?”
“Back to O.B. I’m on duty. They sent me down to steal some sweets. The plunder of choice would be chocolate.”
Liz laughed, even though her heart cried out not to be left to face Joe by herself. “You know there’s always too much at these functions. Take a big plate up to the staff.”
Sam saluted. “Yes’m.”
Then her friend was gone and Joe smiled at her. Liz’s heart swelled with love at the same time squeezing tight with pain. If only he could care about her the way she wanted him to. She wished she had a do-over. Maybe if she hadn’t been so hard on him when he first volunteered. But hindsight was twenty-twenty. There was no use crying over tossed zingers. She’d tried to protect herself. It hadn’t worked. She glanced up at his handsome, smiling face. Who knew there weren’t enough weapon
s in the world to protect herself from Mr. Wonderful?
“So,” Joe said, looking down at her.
“So,” she answered. She rocked back on her heels and clasped her hands behind her back. “Help yourself to some coffee and dessert. After that the Director of Volunteer Services for the hospital is going to give out certificates of appreciation.” She started to walk away, to lose herself in the crowd of volunteers steadily arriving to fill up the room.
“Hey.” He frowned at her.
“What?”
“Where are you going? I’ve been looking forward to seeing you all day.”
Liz’s heart soared at his words. Then she reminded herself it was only in friendship. Like the night he’d dropped by her house because he was bummed about his divorcing friend. She had to stop expecting more. There was only one way she could think of to do that.
“Joe, I have to mingle with everyone. You’re not the only cuddler in the program.”
Just the only cuddler she loved.
His forehead puckered as his eyebrows drew together. He stuck his hands in the pockets of his slacks. “I’m sensing something here. A disturbance. What put a knot in your stethoscope?”
She looked around at the people filling the cafeteria. “I don’t think this is the right place to discuss it.”
“So there really is something bothering you. I was hoping I was wrong.”
“No, you’re not wrong.” She was surprised that he’d sized her mood up so quickly. Her close girlfriends could do that. But since she’d never had a guy friend before, she’d figured she could hide her feelings from him. “But I can’t talk about it here—Oh!”
He reached out suddenly, taking her arm and steering her toward a back door that led to an outside patio. They left the air-conditioned cafeteria for the balmy summer night air.
When the self-closing door slammed shut, Joe looked down at her and said, “Now we’re alone. So tell me what’s wrong.”
Liz briefly toyed with the idea of shining him on, then quickly eighty-sixed that. She was no coward. Honesty. That was always the best policy. She’d learned that was one of Joe’s most wonderful qualities—his straightforward, aboveboard way of dealing with life. She wouldn’t give him less.
“You said you’d looked forward to seeing me all day. That’s what’s wrong. I don’t want you to do that anymore. And please don’t drop by my house.”
“What are you saying?” There was an angry edge to his voice that didn’t make sense—unless he cared. But that was impossible.
“I’m saying that I can’t see you anymore. I’d appreciate it if you don’t seek me out either here at the hospital, or outside of it.”
“Why? I don’t understand.”
“We want different things.”
“What are we talking here? Cars? Movies? What?” His tone was clipped, irritated.
“For starters, you want friendship. I want the brass ring, not second place.”
“I’m second place?”
“You’re twisting my words,” she said.
He looked stunned. “I don’t think so. You’re the one who insisted on friendship. I don’t get it—”
“When you put it like that, I guess it doesn’t make a lot of sense. But I realized that I want the whole ball of wax. In the long run I think separating would be for the best.”
“For who?” he asked.
“Both of us I think.” She sighed. “I realized I want to find the fairy tale and you stopped believing in it.”
“But to end a beautiful friendship—why, Liz?”
“Before someone gets hurt,” she said, proud that she kept her voice steady.
“This is nuts. Have you been out in the sun too long without a hat? What have I ever done to make you distrust me?” he demanded. He jammed his hand through his hair as he loomed over her looking furious. “I would never hurt you,” he said, jabbing his finger in the air to punctuate each word.
You already have, she said to herself. She could almost hear the sound of her heart cracking. He couldn’t give her more than friendship. He couldn’t give her what he’d made her see that she wanted. He couldn’t give her love. To see him knowing he could never return her feelings would repeat her mother’s mistake. He’d made her face her cynicism and tuck it away. She was grateful for that. But she wouldn’t give love a bad name.
She put her hand on his forearm, the part bared by his rolled up sleeve. The muscles contracted beneath her fingers. She felt the warmth of his skin one last time, and was grateful that he didn’t pull away.
“I believe you would never deliberately hurt me,” she clarified.
“What does that mean?” he asked sharply. “Why are you suddenly changing the rules?”
She shook her head unwilling to explain that everything had changed when she’d realized she loved him and he would never return that feeling. “There’s really no point in discussing this further. Let’s not say anything we’ll regret.”
“I already regret what you said,” he practically growled.
“Let’s just say goodbye,” she pleaded.
She knew it was a mistake, but she couldn’t resist the urge to kiss him one last time. She stood up on tiptoe, her intention to press her lips to his cheek.
At the last second, he turned his face and captured her mouth with his.
Chapter Eleven
Joe slid his arm around her waist and pulled her to him. Adrenaline fueled by anger mixed with a healthy dose of testosterone roared through him. One good kiss would fix everything. It would show her that she couldn’t say goodbye.
He cupped the back of her head with his other hand, making the contact of their mouths more firm. With his tongue, he easily coaxed her lips apart, and slipped into the honeyed recess of her mouth. Her sigh of satisfaction followed by a moan of surrender filled him with triumph. She cared about him. He knew it. This would change her mind.
He nibbled small kisses at each corner of her mouth and her breathing quickened, matching his own. He teased his way across her jaw and found the spot just below her ear, the place he knew would make her jump when he lavished attention there. She arched closer to him, as if she couldn’t get near enough, as if she wanted to dissolve into him. He would bet everything he owned that she’d forgotten that baloney about splitting up.
He ran his knuckles down her soft cheek as she slipped her hand up his chest and curved her palm around his neck.
Joe smiled against her mouth. “So much for not seeing each other anymore,” he said.
When Liz stiffened in his arms, he knew he’d made a mistake and more than anything wished he had the power to call the words back. Again, he wasn’t sure what he’d done wrong. Confusion didn’t begin to describe how he felt. He just knew that when she’d said they had to stop seeing each other, it was as if someone had dropped a boulder on his chest. He wanted time with her. Promises of happy ever after were something else.
She pushed against his chest. “Let me go.”
“Liz, please—”
She shook her head. “No. This was a mistake.”
“That’s not what the little moaning noises you made were saying.”
“I mean it, Joe. I can’t do this. Please, let me go,” she whispered desperately.
He lowered his hands to his sides, but it was several moments before she backed up a step, still breathing hard, he noticed. So was he. It took all his willpower not to pull her back against him. One more kiss would convince her that she couldn’t stop seeing him. Her decision was a momentary lapse, brain freeze, overwork pushing her into a rash decision. He wanted to go on just as they had been. Hanging out. Talking. See where they went from there. Why did she have to make things complicated?
“Liz, I don’t get this.” He ran a shaking hand through his hair. “Why now?” he asked harshly. “I worked my tail off to convince you I’m on the up-and-up. That I’m nothing like your father. You even said I’m a swell guy. This makes no sense.”
“You showed me that
I can have it all, but not with you. All we can be is friends.”
He nodded. “We’re good as friends. I like having you in my life.”
“I’m an all-or-nothing kind of woman, Joe. That’s my flaw.” She folded her arms across her waist in a protective gesture. “Second best is first loser. I’m taking myself out of the game.”
“You couldn’t kiss me like that and possibly mean that you don’t want to see me anymore.”
She touched her fingers to lips swollen from his kiss. “I meant every word I said.”
“But you kissed me back.”
“Maybe. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.” She dragged in a big breath. “I meant to kiss you g-goodbye.”
“Okay, I get that I’m second best. But I don’t understand this all-or-nothing attitude.”
She met his gaze, her eyes pleading. “Joe, please don’t make this harder. I’ve made up my mind.”
He suddenly got it. She really did mean to say goodbye. There was nothing he could do to change her mind. Hurt and anger gave way to frustration and fury as he felt himself losing the battle to keep her in his life.
He paced back and forth for several moments. Then he stopped in front of her and looked down. “You made up your mind about me that day I gave you my volunteer form. No matter what I did, it wouldn’t have been enough.”
She lifted her hand toward him. “Joe, please—”
“I’ve got a piece of advice for you, Nurse Ratchett. Next time a guy walks into your office, let him know he needs wings, and a halo. And if he wants to be your friend, warn him that he needs to walk on water, too.”
Anger, frustration, and fury disappeared as pain exploded inside him. In his whole life, he’d never felt anything close to this crushing desolation.
He would never let her see it. Without another word, he turned and walked away.
“You ask him.”
“Do I have stupid tattooed across my forehead?” Luke asked his brother Alex. “You ask him.”
Sitting on the chaise by his parents’ pool, Joe opened one eye when he realized he couldn’t ignore the two of them. When had his brothers become so irritating? Normally they all got along well.
With a Little T.L.C. Page 13
