“Go away,” Joe practically growled.
“We can’t.” Alex sat on the lounge across from him.
“Sure you can. About-face and put one foot in front of the other until you’re gone. Easy.”
Luke pulled up a chair. “Ma sent us out here. The only thing worse than bringing up this subject with you would be facing her without the information we were dispatched to obtain.”
“And what information would that be?” Joe nearly snarled. As if he didn’t know.
He also knew he was acting like a jerk, but couldn’t seem to help it. Why had he let his mother talk him into coming over for a Fourth of July barbecue? He wasn’t fit company for man or beast. Black didn’t come close to describing his mood. And every day had been the same, ever since that night last week when Liz gave him the heave-ho.
“What the hell’s wrong with you?” Luke demanded.
“That’s for me to know and you to find out,” Joe automatically answered.
His response was so rooted in childhood, he felt about ten years old again. And he hadn’t felt this miserable since his older brother had taken away his yoyo. But he was a man now. Nick was happily married. And Liz had taken away something far more precious than a toy.
Joe knew that he would never find the happiness that Nick and Abby had. Not without Liz. But she’d made it clear as the water in the pool that they were kaput. The knot of pain he’d carried around since that night tightened a notch. He closed his eyes behind his sunglasses.
“Well, bro, I guess it’s time to bring in the big guns.” The voice was Alex’s.
“Ma,” both of them said together.
Joe heard their retreating footsteps. He was tempted to hightail it through the back gate. But not only was that the chicken way out, there was a part of him that suspected this was why he’d accepted his mother’s invitation. He needed to talk to someone.
A few minutes later, he heard the click of sandals on the pool deck. Then the corner of his chaise dipped.
“Joseph, what’s all this nonsense? How many times have I told you—if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all?”
“They asked for it, Ma. Guys know when to back off. Luke and Alex should know better.”
“So are you going to bite my head off too?”
“No.”
“I’m not sure one syllable answers are an improvement, Joseph Paul.”
Uh-oh. Both of his names. He opened his eyes and sat up straighter on the lounge, making more room for her. “What do you want from me, Ma?”
“I want to know what you did to Liz.”
That did it. He pushed his sunglasses to the top of his head and glared at her. “What makes you think I did something to her?” he asked.
“Because I had a long and very satisfying heart-to-heart with her at the wedding.”
“Yeah. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that.” It was right after the wedding that Liz said she couldn’t see him anymore. Had his own mother sabotaged him?
Flo pointed at him. “I know for a fact that she’s deeply in love with you.”
He stared at her. “She’s got a funny way of showing it.”
“You have to cut her some slack. She told me about her family life, her father’s infidelity and her one unsuccessful relationship. But I know I got through to her. I know I convinced her that love was worth taking a chance.”
“So this is all your fault.” He felt the muscle in his jaw contract as he gritted his teeth.
“Define ‘this’ and I’ll let you know whether or not I’ll accept responsibility.”
“Liz told me she can’t see me anymore. She said she won’t settle for second best because she wants the brass ring.”
“Good for her,” Flo said approvingly.
He looked at his mother as if she’d lost her mind. “Since when am I second best?”
“Did you tell her how you feel about her?” she asked, ignoring his question.
“Everything was hunky-dory between us until you got hold of her,” he said, hedging. “What the hell did you say to her?”
“Don’t swear, dear.”
“Sorry. But things were fine between us. Great in fact. She’d never been so relaxed with me.”
Flo pumped her arm. “I knew I got through to her.”
“Then why did she dump me?”
“You must have done something. What did you say to her between the wedding and the dumping?”
“Me? What makes you think I said something?”
“Because you’re a man, dear. You can’t help it.”
“I do human resources for a living, Ma. I’ve learned how to help it.”
“You’ve never been in love before. That tends to make a man’s brain useless. But other parts of his body pick up the slack for—you know.”
That was a place he didn’t want to go. Not with his mother. Talking about “you know” with the support group moms was one thing. But discussing his libido, especially where Liz was concerned, with his mother was quite another.
“Male bashing is a cheap shot,” he said. “And I’m your son. How can you take Liz’s side over mine?”
“I’m not taking sides, dear. I’m just putting on my diplomat hat and trying to get to the bottom of who fired the first shot. She was fine at the wedding. I’ve never seen her more beautiful. I know her heart was lighter after we talked. And my love radar can’t be that far off. She is putty in your hands. Or she should be. What happened?”
He thought for a moment. “I stopped by her place the day I went to court with Bill.”
“Your friend who’s going through a divorce,” she said.
He nodded. “Liz and I talked about it. I told her I was glad that we’d become such good friends.”
Flo groaned. “Tell me you didn’t say that.”
“She was going on about love and family. How devoted you and Dad are. I agreed. You’ve set a standard impossible to follow. I gave up trying. Friends are better.”
She groaned again. “I see the problem. As soon as Liz let down her guard, you put yours up. You shot yourself in the foot, dear. And I have a sneaking suspicion you did it on purpose.”
Now he was getting irritated. He was the dumpee! He’d never hurt so much in his life. His world fell apart. Why was it his fault? He remembered Liz mentioning his parents’ separation. “Would you like to tell me about you and Dad splitting up when I was a kid?”
Flo stiffened beside him and he wanted to take back the words. She sighed. “I didn’t think you remembered.”
“Just a little. It’s more like a dream.”
“A nightmare,” she said. “And yes, I would like to tell you about it. For starters, it’s all my fault.”
“How?”
She hesitated for so long he thought she wasn’t going to say anything. Finally she squared her shoulders and took a deep breath. “I was unfaithful.”
That stunned him. He wasn’t sure he wanted to hear any more. “Ma, you don’t have to talk about this—”
“It’s time I did. Your father and I thought it best to never bring up this painful subject. Now I see that decision may have cost you.”
“I don’t get it,” he said shaking his head. “This is dumb—”
“I turned to another man, Joe. It was brief. Not that that makes it all right. But it was a time when I had three small, active boys. Your father was hardly ever home. He worked so hard to build the restaurant, then expand the business.” She swallowed hard and shook her head. “I don’t mean to make excuses. I’m just trying to make you understand how it was. I was married, but I felt as if I was alone. I’d never been so lonely.”
“I don’t know what to say, Ma.”
“There’s nothing to say. It was between your father and I. He moved out of the house.”
“I remember. I don’t think I’d ever seen you cry before.” That was why he remembered. Young as he’d been, seeing his mother break down was like watching the Rock of Gibraltar shatter
into a zillion pieces.
She nodded. “You were the only one who saw me break down. Luke and Rosie weren’t born yet. Alex was too little to remember. And Nick wanted to know when his daddy would be home from his business trip. But seeing the fear on your little face—” Her voice cracked and she stopped, struggling to control herself. She shook her head once and said, “It was the worst thing I ever went through. And the best.”
“The best?” He blinked. “Now you’ve lost me.”
“Dad and I realized how much we missed and loved each other. He came back and we made promises to spend time together, to nurture the relationship. Unfortunately we also vowed never to talk about that time with each other, or to you boys. I see now that was wrong.”
“Why?”
“Think about it, Joe. You have never let yourself fall in love. For years you’ve boasted about your father and I and thirty-five years of perfect happiness.”
“You and Dad have been happy for thirty-five years.”
She shook her head. “We’ve been together. But not always happy. There were more good times than bad. But it wasn’t perfect. There’s no such thing. It’s time you faced that.”
“Did you love him, Ma? The other guy?” Joe wasn’t sure how he felt about this. But he needed to know the answer to that question.
She sighed. “I don’t know whether or not you’ll believe this, but the honest answer is—no. I respected and admired him. I liked him. He said he loved me, wanted me to marry him. I was tempted, but I couldn’t do it.”
“Why not?”
“Because I knew your father was the love of my life, and always would be. In spite of that awful time, I would marry Tom Marchetti again in a heartbeat. I’m profoundly appreciative of the bad times.”
“That doesn’t make sense, Ma,” he said, an edge to his voice. He wasn’t sure how to feel about what she was telling him. Should he be angry? Mad at her for hurting his father?
“It makes perfect sense. If not for the bad, we would take the relationship for granted. That separation brought us closer together, it made us treasure the good times.”
He shook his head. “I don’t know what to say, Ma.”
“It’s okay, dear.” She put her hand on his arm. “I can discuss it calmly because it all happened many years ago. But you’re just finding out about it.”
“Does anyone else know?”
She shook her head. “I won’t swear you to secrecy. If you feel the need to share it with your brothers or your sister, you have my permission. Because I have the feeling that your childhood memory of that time left a scar we didn’t know was there.”
He studied her, the way her silver hair shone in the sunlight. The lines around her eyes and mouth were deeper, and he could see the toll confessing her indiscretion had taken. He still wasn’t quite sure what this had to do with him, what “scar” she was talking about, but she’d felt he needed to know and it had been hard on her. He loved her for that.
“You and Dad are really okay now?” he asked.
She thought about his question and smiled, erasing the tension. “We’re friends, confidants, lovers—”
“Don’t go there, Ma.”
She laughed. “We’re better than okay.” Her expression, her words, convinced him that the foundation of the family was sound. “But you’re not.”
“I’ll get over it.”
“Running from love has been your pattern your whole adult life. It’s time to dig your heels in. Stand and fight for the woman you love. Snap out of your comfort zone. That’s why I brought up all this ancient history. I want to see you with someone who is the love of your life for the bad times and the good.” She met his gaze. “I would bet my membership in the romance-of-the-month book club your someone is Liz.”
Anger and hurt swirled inside him because Liz would never be his. But he couldn’t help asking, “Why do you think she’s the one?”
“The cuddlers program.”
“You know about that?” he asked, surprised.
“Rosie told me. It’s clear to both of us that after meeting Liz you couldn’t forget her. Volunteering was a way to get to know her better, to get close to her.”
He shook his head. “She doesn’t agree.”
“Change her mind.” The voice she used was one he remembered from childhood, when one of them had done something wrong.
It was a tone he learned never to ignore. “I’ll try,” he said.
Flo shook her head disapprovingly. “Second place attitude. Not the mind-set of a man determined to win the woman he loves.”
She sounded like Liz—second place is first loser.
For the first time since he’d walked out on Liz, a grin threatened. “You are one tough cookie, Ma.”
She smiled. “I had to be, dear. Motherhood isn’t for wimps.”
“Okay. I’ll change her mind.”
“How?”
“Boy, you don’t give up, do you?”
“Never, and neither should you.”
“I’m not sure how I’ll get through to her. But I will not give up until I have achieved my objective.”
“Well done, dear.”
Chapter Twelve
“You’re looking like the eighth dwarf, Crabby.”
Liz looked up from the paperwork on her desk to see Sam in the doorway. “Don’t let the frown fool you. Inside I’m doing the dance of joy.”
“And I’m a supermodel moonlighting as a baby nurse.” Sam put a hand on her hip. “This wouldn’t have anything to do with our star male volunteer and your friendship status, would it?” Before Liz could deny it, Sam held up her hand and said, “The truth please.”
Liz sighed and leaned back in her chair, trying to keep the pain from filtering through her defenses. She linked her fingers and settled her hands on her abdomen. It was support-group night and she had on her navy suit, the same outfit she’d worn when Joe had charmed all those tired, overworked, new moms. Not to mention one tired, overworked assistant supervising baby nurse.
“Okay. The truth is I miss Joe.” A sharp stab of pain hit her somewhere in the region of her heart.
“Why? He’s here all the time. He hasn’t welshed on a volunteer shift. In fact, half the time he shows up in the middle of the night. I don’t know when the man sleeps.”
Me, either, Liz thought, worrying about him. Had his insomnia flared up? Did it have anything to do with the fact that she was on his mind? That idea did make her heart do a little two-step before she warned herself not to hope. More important than any of that, was he getting enough rest? That worried her the most. It could be dangerous.
“How does he look?” Liz couldn’t help asking.
“Like the ninth dwarf, Cranky,” Sam answered. “What happened between you two that night? The truth please,” she said again.
“You are almost as cynical as I am,” Liz complained. “I told him that it would be best if we didn’t spend time together anymore.”
“What would make you say something like that?”
“He only wants friendship.”
“He said that?”
“Pretty much,” Liz answered.
“And you believe him?”
“I have no reason not to. I learned the hard way that Joe Marchetti doesn’t lie.”
Sam shook her head in disgust. “I have never seen two people more determined to ignore the obvious.”
“And that would be?”
“You guys are crazy about each other.”
“Make that singular. I’m nuts about him. He doesn’t feel the same way.”
“I think you’re wrong about that.”
“Then why does he just want to be friends?”
“There could be lots of reasons,” Sam said moving into the room. “He’s playing it slow and cautious. Doesn’t want to scare you off. Or he’s relationship-shy for some reason. But in my humble opinion, the diagnosis for what ails you two is l-o-v-e.”
Time to change the subject, Liz thought. No way woul
d she get her hopes up. “You didn’t come all the way to my office to counsel me in the finer points of l-o-v-e. What brought you here, Sam?”
Her friend gave her a look that told her she knew that was an evasive maneuver. “I want to put in a request for a weekend off before you do the schedule.”
“Okay.” Liz wrote down the date. “That shouldn’t be a problem. Anything else? I have the support group in a few minutes.”
Sam shook her head. “Nothing except try not to let your wounded pride stand in the way of your happiness.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Liz said. But she also knew that only a moron would beat her head against a brick wall. Joe didn’t want more than friendship. He didn’t feel the same way about her as she did about him. Breaking it off had been the best thing for her.
“Thanks, Sam.”
“Any time.”
Then she was alone. A wave of loneliness washed over her, brought about, no doubt, by talking about Joe. Most of the time she managed to stay busy enough to keep him on the periphery of her thoughts. But every once in a while, a memory would invade, so vivid, and so painful that it took her breath away. She could only hope that time would dull her feelings. But she had a terrible hunch that he was the only man who would ever make her heart pound and her knees weak.
She’d had one chance. Joe Marchetti was her brass ring and she’d missed it.
She got up from her desk and went to the window behind it, looking out over the landscaped front of the hospital. At least she had a career she loved. Not everyone got to have it all—love, family, and a great job. No doubt she was destined to be married to her job. The thought produced another piercing pain around her heart.
“Liz?”
Joe! That wonderful voice—deep, husky, warm as fine brandy—took her breath away. How she’d missed him. She put a hand on the wall to steady herself. Then she turned around.
“Hi,” she said. “Can I help you?”
“I hope so.”
He stood there in her doorway looking sexy and handsome, and tempting as sin. In his dress shirt, with tie at half staff and wrinkled, gray pinstriped slacks he looked like a GQ model after a hard day at the office.
With a Little T.L.C. Page 14
