Taking a deep breath, she said, “I just needed to see you again, Barrington. Is that okay?” She was unsure of how he’d respond although she didn’t know why considering he’d never made his feelings for her a secret.
An easy smile spread across his lips. “Is it okay?” He couldn’t believe she had to ask. Barrington pulled back just enough to look down in her eyes. “My baby, I’ve never felt more okay about anything in my life.”
Before she could think about it, Perri kissed him, surprising him more than her.
Barrington licked his lips, grinning. “I don’t know what that was for, or what happened to make you so bold, but I’m glad for it,” he admitted.
“Don’t say that, Barrington.” She buried her head in his chest. “Please don’t say that.”
“Whoa, baby.” Confused, he shook his head. “What exactly did happen to trigger this kind of reaction out of you?”
“A robbery happened.”
Looking around, he said, “Here?” His blood started to boil. “Someone tried to break in here on my babies?” He didn’t mean to get loud on her. He softened his tone, “Please talk to me.”
“No,” she shook her head, “no one tried to break in here.”
“Where then?” he demanded some answers.
“At Captain D’s.”
What the hell? Captain D’s? “What?” Barrington was thoroughly confused. “Start over.”
“Captain D’s, Barrington. Someone robbed them,” she said as if that explained it.
He studied her features with awareness, trying to detect if he’d missed something.
“Why you looking at me like that?” She frowned. “I may look a hot mess, but I’m not crazy.”
Barrington blinked twice before saying, “You’re this upset and damn near in a state of hysteria because someone robbed a Captain D’s?”
Knowing he totally did not get it, she explained, “Not just a Captain D’s, Barrington. The one that you were planning to stop off at before you came here earlier.”
Understanding slowly dawned on him. She was so upset because she was worried about him, well, what she imagined could have happened to him had he been in Captain D’s when the robbery was in progress. Thank You, God! Barrington didn’t mean to, but he couldn’t help the grin that stretched across his lips. “You were worried about me, Perri?” He needed to hear it.
She shoved her weight against his chest and then tightened her arms around him. “This is not funny, you know.” He was actually amused. “Someone may have been hurt for all you know.”
“So you cry over everyone that the News reports got hurt?” He wanted to laugh out loud as he watched her eyes widen then narrow then widen again before her beautiful face settled into a sulking scowl. He thought Perri honestly didn’t know if she wanted to slug him or hug him. He didn’t know why she had to be such a stubborn ass. But she was his baby, and he loved him some her. Willie Clayton’s song popped into his mind and he almost started singing, I Love Me Some You.
“Fine, Barrington, you got me,” Perri conceded. “I was worried about what could have happened to you, knowing the robbery was at the same Captain D’s you were going to stop at.”
That sobered him quick. “But I didn’t go. Baby, I was right here with you when it happened.”
“Only because I had a bad feeling,” she insisted, “something kept telling me to call you back.” Perri sighed hard and loud when his grin spread all the way across his gorgeous face. “Fine,” she grated through clinched teeth. “You’re such a man,” she complained. My man.
“Why you getting upset with me, baby? You saved me.”
Perri laughed in spite of herself. “You’re incorrigible.
“I’m not the one being complicated here.”
“I care about you, Barrington,” she blurted. “I’m woman enough to admit I don’t want anything bad to happen to you. So, yes, I’m glad you were here with me instead of there where you could have been the one to get hurt.” She shook her head. “Not that I’m glad someone else got hurt,” she quickly amended. “I hate that it happened to anybody, period.”
“Well, I’m sure you had to have watched the news to know anything about this. What did they say?” He was still smiling, but he would allow her time to accept her feelings for him.
“Barrington!”
“Hmm,” he said simply.
“No,” she admitted, “fortunately no one was hurt. But that’s totally not the point.”
“And what is the point?” He was going to make her say it out loud.
She blinked several times. “You’re enjoying this,” she accused.
“I sure am,” Barrington said unashamedly.
She sighed loudly, stepping out of his arms. “You’re impossible.”
“And you love me.”
“I don’t know how you jumped to that conclusion but—”
“You do, Perri. Just admit it, I won’t tell anybody.” That you know, he silently added.
“Barrington, I was just scared for you.”
“But I wasn’t even there when the robbery took place. I was here with you, baby.”
“I know where you were,” was all she could say and wanted to smack the smirk off his face.
“Don’t get mad at me because you can’t help loving me.”
Ignoring him, she said, “You could have been there, Barrington, and it could be that you may have gotten hurt.”
“But I wasn’t there, Perri. I was exactly where I wanted to be; where I needed to be.” Pulling her back to his chest in spite of her squirming protest, Barrington said, “Admit, it, Perri.” He kissed her before she could respond audibly, but respond physically, she definitely did.
Weaving her arms around Barrington’s back, she returned his passionate kisses. Wanting more and feeling like she couldn’t get close enough to him, she moaned her frustration in his mouth. “Barrington . . .” she whispered when he released her lips. Her eyes involuntarily drifted shut when she felt him delivering warm, moist, sweet kisses to her neck, traveling to her shoulder blade. He knows that’s was one of my spots. Instead of pulling away like she knew she should have, she tilted her neck giving him more access.
“Sweet, Perri,” Barrington whispered between nibbles.
“Barrington,” she moaned his name.
“I’ve missed you so much, baby. So much,” he repeated.
“I’ve missed you too, sweetie,” she finally admitted.
Framing her face, he said softly, “Thank you.”
“What are you thanking me for?”
“For your true confessions,” he clarified and smiled. “I’ve waited so long to taste you again, the sweet honey inside your luscious mouth.” Capturing her lips again, Barrington swept her up in his arms and carried her to the living room. Halfway through sitting down on the couch and placing her in his lap, they heard Imani crying. She wasn’t just crying, she was screaming bloody murder.
Perri jumped up like they’d been caught doing the nasty in Madear’s house. Not taking the time to see his reaction, she took off toward Imani’s room with Barrington close on her heels. Pushing the door open, Barrington pushed past her, reaching their daughter first.
Picking Imani up, Barrington crooned, “Don’t cry, Cupcake. Daddy and Mommy are here.”
Blinking in surprise, Perri couldn’t believe it. Imani calmed right down at the sound of her daddy’s soothing words. Well, actually it was his voice, period, but she wasn’t ready to admit that to anyone including herself just yet. Instead, she continued to watch Barrington handle their daughter with kid gloves and tons of love. Tears came to her eyes but she quickly swallowed them back and slipped out of the room, softly closing the door behind her.
Chapter Fourteen
Perri stared at the official looking document for quite some time, too stunned, shocked, humiliated, ashamed, and hurt to respond with any kind of decency. She wanted to yell, pinch, slap, and choke Barrington. The man's nerve had no ending in sight. How dare
he insult her with his little . . . well, his big and more than generous offering? Feeling a jolt of jealousy course through her being, she wanted to cry but was too mad and outraged to do so, at least not in front of him. He'd taken too much from her already; she wasn't about to hand more of herself over to him without a fight. And she meant a knock-down-drag-out fight.
“Now, before you go off the deep end, Perri, hear me out first.”
Perri fixed a cold-blooded gaze on him. “There is nothing you can say I wanna hear. I'm not for sale and neither is my child.”
Giving her a look as evil as her own, Barrington said through gritted teeth, “I didn't say you were, neither did I imply it, Perri.”
“Is that right?” She glanced down at the papers in her hand. “That's exactly what you did by taking it upon yourself to have this stupid document drawn up.” Perri tossed the papers at him, not caring if his feelings were hurt. He'd overstepped his boundary one too many times where her daughter was concerned; he took too much for granted, assuming she'd go along with whatever suggestions he and his entourage of attorneys had come up with. She didn't care how much money he had; he was not going to intimidate her into agreeing to anything that granted him more entrance and say in she and her daughter's life than necessary. As far as she was concerned, this was totally unnecessary. She was doing just fine on her own when it came to providing for Imani's needs, whatever they may be, so she didn't see she had any use for his money or anything else he might want to throw their way like they were some sort of charity he'd reluctantly agreed to sponsor. Well, he can go straight to the altar and repent of that mess.
“There is nothing stupid about me wanting to provide for my child, make sure she's taken care of in every way, Perri,” he argued.
“And what's that supposed to mean?”
“Look—”
“I take good care of my child,” she cut him short, wanting to choke him.
“Yes, Perri, you have taken good care of our daughter; that's not in question here.”
“Then what is, Barrington?”
Frustrated with her attitude and lack of gratitude, Barrington tried to explain his position, “Perri, all I did was have my lawyer draw up the papers for me to legally provide for my child, both now and in the event something happens to me, or you, for that matter.”
“I hadn't planned on going anywhere anytime soon, Barrington.”
“Funny, Perri. You know like I know time is not promised to any of us. Being that you've already cut the time I have with my daughter short, I don't see what you're even complaining about, like you really got room to oppose anything.”
“I was wondering how long it would take you to hum this tune again.” His words stung but she wasn't going to let him see her sweat. “Look, Barrington, I'm sorry I kept Imani a secret from you, I'm sorry you're hurt, and I'm sorry I can't give you back that missing time. But I'll be damned if I keep on allowing you to throw that mistake up in my face when you yourself have made one just as fatal as mine, holding you accountable for at least half of the fact that you were kept in the dark about Imani's existence.”
Confused, he demanded, “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Think about it, Barrington. You knew just like I knew that we didn't take the measures necessary to protect us from an unwanted pregnancy the last time we made love,” she accused. “So don't you dare be sitting over there judging me, throwing all your hostility my way when you are just as much to blame as me, and while I may not have come forth and told you of my pregnancy you had to have known it was a real possibility. And, yes, I know I refused your phone calls and didn’t respond to any of the letters you sent me. Yet you didn’t see fit to hop on your Lear Jet and come back here seeking me out for the truth either, did you?”
It angered Barrington more that he couldn't argue with Perri. He had known it was a possibility he could have gotten her pregnant. But he never thought in a million years that she'd intentionally not tell him if he had and that was what hurt the most about her betrayal.
“So, the way I see it, I'm not the only one in the wrong here. You are every bit as much to blame as me. Why don't you take responsibility for that and admit you failed our daughter, too?”
“Well, I'm trying to make up for lost time, Perri. Can you say the same?”
Perri snorted. “And you think throwing your money at her will do that?”
“What are you talking about, Perri? I'm supposed to and the law fully expects me to support my child. I'm not some deadbeat father who's going out of his way to avoid financial responsibility for my daughter; my obligation is to her and her alone. So what are you upset about?”
Snatching the papers from him, Perri proceeded to read them aloud, “Barrington Knight agrees to pay Perri Milan child support dating back to the time their daughter, Imani Sinclair Milan was conceived.” She read the lump-sum payment, fighting tears. “That amount will be followed by a monthly allotment to be deposited in Perri's account the first business day of every month.”
“And the problem is?”
She could only stare at him dumbfounded.
“You don't think that's enough, is that it?”
“There is no need for your money, period.”
“There is definitely a need, Perri. Surely even you won't deny me the right to honor my obligation to our daughter.”
“This is not about money, Barrington, and if you think it is, then you never knew me at all. I don't need your child support payments, past or present.”
“Good, Perri, because it's not for you; it's for our daughter. And I don't care what you say, Imani does need it and she's entitled to it.”
“You say what you want, but I know what you're doing.”
“And what might that be in the view your misguided perception?”
“You’re just trying to carve out a bigger space for yourself in Imani’s heart than me, and you’re using your money and prestige to do it,” she continued to rail on him. “So what if you can give her more material things than me for now. But I’ve been with her since conception and never one time have I ever neglected her needs. And I didn’t need to use money or a lack of it in order to do it because all it took was my unconditional love which she’s had from the moment I realized she was in my womb. And that, Barrington, was her safe haven for nine months! You’ve been on the scene for what? A good two days, and suddenly you know more about what’s best for her than me. Why? Do you thing because you have more money to offer that’s supposed to make you more fit to care for her needs than me?”
Jerking Perri by the wrist, hauling her to her feet, Barrington hissed, “Don’t you ever say something that hateful to me again,” he warned. God knows he loved this woman more than his life, but he would not stand by and let the love he felt for his own flesh and blood child become tainted by the ugly description she just depicted; it just simply wasn’t going to be. Not on his watch! And being around to watch, he certainly planned to be regardless of what Perri said or didn't say; it didn't matter to him, because he was in their life to stay.
“I would never use my child or my best friend to hide behind; that’s your department, Miss I’m-not-gonna-tell-him-and-keep-my-baby-all-to-myself, judgmental Perri!” He dared her to deny it. “And as far as you having been the one Imani depended on from the first, that’s not my fault, either. You're the one, Perri, who kept me in the dark!” Narrowing his eyes to mere slits, he said, “And I don’t care what you say, you didn’t do it for my good. You want me to believe it was about my career, the reason you didn’t tell me. But we both know that’s a load of horse shit. Don’t we?” Not giving her time to respond, he went on to tell her exactly what he’d felt since finding out the truth that she went to great lengths to hide from him. His grip tightened slightly on her wrist but he was so mad he didn’t notice Perri wince, or that his fingers had begun to dig into her sensitive flesh.
“This, Perri, was about you trying to be in control of every damn thing that happens in
your life whether good or bad, and since you always assume it’s gonna turn out bad for you, you have to exert yourself sole ruler, and reign over every single detail; never mind that it involves more than just you. You’re so selfish in that aspect,” he accused, “which keeps me confused as hell where we’re concerned because I know for myself what a good and kind heart you’ve got beating inside that beautiful chest of yours.”
“Don’t you worry about me, I don’t want or need you, Barrington,” Perri let the words rip from her mouth like a switch blade, slicing and dicing him up with each syllable. For a split second, she thought he was going slap her, and fully prepared herself to knock the fire-hell out of him if he had so much as raised his voice at her right then. Then she decided that was just stupid because she knew in her heart Barrington was not the type to abuse any woman no matter how angry he got with her; he'd walk away or hurt himself first.
“I’m not worried about you, Perri, I’m concerned about you, and there is a difference. Every time shit gets hard you wanna shut down and become this ice cold princess with a frozen heart inside; only it’s a betrayal to your soul because you’re not naturally a mean-spirited person.” Barrington shook his head, feeling anger rage through him; anger he'd tried to stow away because he didn't want to take it out on Perri. But this thing of her constantly questioning his intentions was waning on his patience. Too far gone to stop now, he went on to say, “And yet you had absolutely no qualms about not telling me you were carrying my child; still wouldn’t have if I hadn’t ran into you at the damn mall, where you went on to conduct a masquerade and compromise Journey’s position by arranging for it to appear as if Imani was her daughter. Then you give me some lame excuse about not wanting to ruin my career like that justifies your lies.”
Barrington stared through the stranger before him and wanted to shake her senseless. “As close as we were, Perri, it hurts to know you thought so little of me and my love for you; of the place you held in my heart, that was yours and yours alone. How could you do that to me, Perri? How could you do that to us? Most of all, how could you do that to our daughter? No matter how you felt about me, what you felt I’d done to you, whatever; you had no, and I mean no right to keep your pregnancy a secret from me. I had a say, too, woman! And you, with your self-righteous self took it away. Like that,” he snapped his finger in her face.
If I'd Only Known (Milan Women Series Book 1) Page 17
