Envy [The Angel Pack 7] (Siren Publishing Ménage and More ManLove)

by Maggie Walsh

  This was the first time in his life he ever felt so close to being complete, and being completely satisfied. His two human lovers were great and they fulfilled his deep desires, but he never felt complete. There was always something missing. This, right here, with Haven, he was almost there.

  Haven released his neck and licked across his mating mark, causing a shiver to race down his spine. His mate lifted his head and looked down into his eyes with so much adoration and…love, it made Crew’s heart fill with happiness.

  “Are you okay?” Haven asked him tenderly as he brushed some of Crew’s sweaty hair from his face.

  Crew gave him a sleepy smile. “Never been better. That was…wow.”

  “My thoughts exactly.” Haven slowly pulled from his body and Crew cringed slightly from the tug. The second Haven was out of him, Crew felt empty and wanted his lover back inside him. Haven rolled off him and climbed from the bed. He disappeared into the bathroom and came back a few minutes later with a washcloth. He wiped Crew’s stomach and chest clean and then his groin. Haven gently wiped across Crew’s sensitive hole, then threw the soiled cloth into the open bathroom, and laid back down beside Crew, pulling him against Haven’s side.

  Crew laid his head on Haven’s chest and let out a small contented sigh. His body felt limp and his eyes were heavy with sleep, but his heart was full. He wrapped himself around his mate and closed his eyes as tears stung the backs of them. No one had ever taken care of him after sex. Ever. In all his years not one lover took care of him afterward. He was always the one to take care of them, or it just ended and they went their separate ways. It felt so wonderful to have someone care for him. Haven’s chest rose slightly below his cheek and the man’s breathing slowed. He knew his man was asleep. He smiled at the thought. His man. He fell asleep with that thought in his mind.

  * * * *

  “Evan?” Josh called as he walked into their kitchen.

  “Yeah, Josh.” Evan looked up from his laptop.

  “I can’t find Matthew anywhere. Have you seen him?”

  Evan sighed heavily. “No I haven’t seen him today. What has he done now?”

  “Nothing. I just wanted to talk to him, make sure he was okay. He’s been so quiet and distant lately. Ever since he found out that Beta Angel may be his father, he’s not been himself.”

  “Well that is a pretty big shock, Josh. Maybe he’s just trying to process everything. I’ve tried to talk to him about it and get him to open up, but you know him. When there’s something he doesn’t want to talk about, he clams up.”

  “I know, but this time it’s more than his usual self. This time is more serious. He’s more distant than usual,” Josh said sadly and sat at the table across from Evan.

  “I’ll keep trying. But unfortunately, he’s not gonna say anything until he’s ready, and even then he never fully opens up to anyone.”

  “I’m really worried about him this time, Evan. I’m afraid we’re going to lose him,” Josh said with concern.

  The way Josh spoke had Evan staring at the young man closer. There was something in his voice that told Evan there was something bigger going on. Something very important. “I didn’t realize you cared about Matthew that much, Josh. I thought the two of you hated each other?” Evan questioned cautiously. Josh’s gaze snapped to his and Evan saw fear inside his depths. But fear of what?

  “I don’t hate him. He can just be an ass sometimes,” Josh said, trying to sound nonchalant, but Evan could hear the slight hitch in his voice.

  “Well, we’ll just have to keep a closer eye on him and keep trying to get through to him. That’s all we can do.”

  “You’re right.” Josh stood up and headed back from where he came. He stopped and turned back to face Evan. “When was the last time you actually saw Matthew?”

  “I don’t know. Um…let’s see, I got home late last night and you all were already in bed, so yesterday morning. No wait, he was still in bed when I left for work, so the day before. Yes, the day before at breakfast.”

  “I haven’t seen him since then either.” They both stared at each other for a minute before their eyes filled with panic. Evan jumped from his seat and raced after Josh as the two of them bolted out of the room, through the house, and up the stairs.

  They reached the top landing and almost ran into Syn. “Hey, where’s the fire?”

  “Have you seen Matthew?” Evan asked in a panic.

  “No, I haven’t seen him today. Why, what’s up? What did he do now?”

  “When was the last time you saw him?” Josh also asked in a panic.

  “I don’t know…yesterday or the day before.” Syn shrugged.

  “Shit!” Josh went running down the hall to Matthew’s room, as Evan yelled for everyone to come into the hall.

  Everyone came from their rooms, looking around confused, questioning Evan as they followed him to Matthew’s room. They found Josh standing in the middle of the room with a piece of paper in his hand. He looked devastated as a tear rolled down his cheek.

  Evan approached him slowly. “Josh, what is it?”

  “He’s gone,” Josh whispered in a tight voice.

  “Let me see the note, Josh.” Evan reached for it and Josh pulled it away. More tears began to fall from his sad eyes. “Let me see the note,” Evan said with more authority. When Josh still wouldn’t give him the note, Evan grabbed for it and snatched it out of his hands. He stepped away from Josh and read the note to himself.

  Dear Josh,

  I’m sorry I’m such a fuckup. I’m so sorry you got saddled with me as your mate. But you’ll be all right. You have Milo now, so you won’t have to suffer from the mating heat when you turn eighteen. I hope the two of you have a great life together. You really do deserve it, Josh. You’re a great guy and I don’t know how you put up with me all these months.

  Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine, I promise. I just can’t be here anymore. My life has always been fucked up but now more than ever and I need to go. I need to figure out my life and what I want.

  I was so excited when Raith told me he was my father. I really liked him from the first time Evan and I met with him in his office. I know it didn’t appear that way, but I did. After that day, I used to sit in my room and dream about what it would be like to have Raith as my father. He’s the first man to have ever made me hold myself accountable for the shit I do and for myself. He never treated me like a child. I know he probably got a headache or two because of me, and I made his life harder, but he still never treated me like a child.

  As excited as I was to learn that he may be my father, there is another part of me that feels so angry. Angry for all the years we lost, angry for the life I could have had, and angry because he was never there for me. I know now that he didn’t know about me, but I still feel abandoned by him in some way.

  I want to find a life where I can be proud of myself, and maybe someday I will be lucky enough to find someone that actually wants me. I’ve never had that before and I really want it. I want to feel like I belong and like someone cares about what happens to me.

  I know we had all these plans about when we were old enough that we could finally claim each other, but you know that’s not gonna happen now. Milo will be able to claim you before me and I just don’t see how that’s fair. My heart hurts and I don’t want it to hurt anymore. I can’t stay here and watch you and Milo claim each other and know that I can’t. It would kill me.

  So I need to go. Please tell Evan that I’m sorry. Tell him that I’m sorry for all the trouble I caused and all the shit I put him through. I know I never told him how much I appreciated him taking me in and treating me so good. And I never showed him how much it really did mean to me. He’s a good man, a good role model, just like you, and I hope to be even half the men the two of you are.

  Watch out for Bailey, and keep an eye on the others. Sage is going to need all the big tough brothers he can get now that he’s stripping. Hundreds of guys are going to fall at his feet and
he’s gonna need protection. Tell Syn, Tucker, Mitchell, and Shane that I’ll miss them, and let them know that I’m sorry for always being such a prick. Tell all of them that, Sage and Bailey included. I was lucky for awhile there, because I actually had some terrific brothers.

  And Milo. Milo’s a good man who just made some bad choices because of the pain he was in. Please help him with the council. Make them understand that he did what he thought he had to do for his brother’s sake. The council is made up of incredible men now, and I know they understand blind rage when it comes to their loved ones and wanting revenge.

  Tell Raith that it would have been nice to have him as my father. But I’ve lived this long without one, so I can keep going just the same. He’s better off without someone like me for a son anyway.

  I really do hope that you and Milo have a long, happy life together.

  -Matthew

  P.S. For what it’s worth, I do love you.

  Evan looked up from the letter and his tear-filled eyes met Josh’s. He swallowed around the lump in his throat and wiped some of the tears away. “How long have you known?”

  “Since we met,” Josh answered honestly.

  “And neither of you thought you should tell me?” Evan asked with hurt in his voice.

  “We knew we couldn’t do anything with it. We knew we couldn’t…you know. We didn’t want to hear any crap from everyone as we waited for his birthday. We didn’t do anything, except talk, hold hands, and hold each other once in awhile. We never even kissed for fear we wouldn’t be able to control ourselves.”

  “What are you two talking about?” Syn asked.

  “Do you want to tell them? It’s up to you, Josh. It’s your life.”

  Josh took a deep breath and released it slowly as he met each of his foster brothers’ eyes. “Matthew is…my…mate,” Josh said, then swallowed around the huge lump in his throat.

  Sage’s eyes popped out of his head in shock and Syn turned so pale he looked like a ghost. Tucker turned to Shane with a shit-eating grin and held out his hand. “You owe me twenty bucks, dickwad.”

  Shane huffed and reached into his back pocket. He pulled his wallet out, pulled out a twenty, and slapped it against Tucker’s open palm. “Fuck.”

  “You knew?’ Josh asked Tucker in surprise.

  “He didn’t know, he just suspected,” Shane said in a huff as he crossed his arms over his chest.

  “No, I knew. Mitchell and I saw you two all huggy down by the creek back in New Mexico,” Tucker said as he laughed.

  “And neither of you ever said anything?” Evan asked angrily.

  Tucker held his hands up, palms out. “Hey, not my story to tell. That was up to them if they wanted it to get out. Right, Mitch?” He looked at Mitchell who stood quietly just outside the door. Mitchell nodded his agreement.

  “You’re right about that,” Evan conceded. “But give Shane his money back. You won by cheating.”

  “What?” Tucker complained.

  “You made a bet with him already knowing the answer. That’s cheating. Give him his money back.” Tucker handed Shane his money back as he grumbled under his breath.

  “So what are we going to do about Matthew?” Syn asked solemnly.

  “Josh and I are going to go to the alpha and beta, and tell them what we know. Then we’re going to ask them if Milo can have some extra unsupervised time out of the cells. I’m sure he would like to search for his mate, too. He does know about Matthew, right?” Evan looked at Josh. Josh nodded. “The rest of you stay here just in case he calls or comes back. Let’s go.”

  Evan and Josh left to head over to the Alpha house to tell the beta that his son was gone.

  * * * *

  Three days of the most erotic, mind-blowing sex of his life. There wasn’t a surface or position that he and Haven didn’t try. Haven was an outstanding lover and willing to try anything. Crew was a little nervous when Haven asked him about the toys in his nightstand, but the man wanted to try everything out on Crew and himself. That was a big shocker for him. Another shocker was that Haven really enjoyed the anal beads. They started off with a small string and worked their way up to one of the larger strings, but Crew had two larger ones that he loved to use on himself. Haven said he wanted to try them, too, some day. Haven also liked his chest harness. He asked Crew to put it on and then Crew suddenly found himself bent over the arm of the chair as Haven pounded into him. He grabbed onto the straps of the harness and took Crew so hard he could still feel it.

  What surprised Crew most was that Haven wasn’t shocked or disgusted about anything they did or about any of the toys they played with. In between all the fucking and sucking, they would cuddle up on the bed or on the floor by the fireplace and just talk. Crew felt so safe with Haven that he opened up to him and told him about all his deepest desires and cravings. He told him all his secrets and what really got him going. And Haven never once looked at him like he was a freak. He listened, asked questions, and told Crew that he would love to explore all his desires together.

  When Crew told him about Dirk and J.C., Haven did growl under his breath a little, but he liked the idea of Crew taking two cocks in him. He held Crew close and told him that one day, when they found their other mate, he would love to do that for Crew. He wanted to see his face as he accepted two cocks into his body. He even hinted at maybe trying it himself. Haven always knew he was going to have two mates, and he always wished that he would be fortunate enough to find both of them, and that if that happened, someday double penetration was probably a possibility. He said he thought about it at times, how it would feel to have two cocks ramming him.

  Haven also told him that he wanted to find more toys. That they could shop together and see what they could find and then try them on each other. Crew had never been happier in his life. Aurora did truly make him his perfect mate.

  But now their three days was over and Haven had to get back to the pride. He had work to do and so did Crew. He knew Raith would cover his scheduled duties while he and Haven claimed each other and spent three days taking care of Haven’s heat. Raith was mated to a cat shifter himself so he knew all about it.

  Crew wondered who their third mate would be and when they would find him. And when they did, would he be as accepting as Haven was or would he be disgusted with him? Only time would tell, but it still made him nervous.

  Crew sat on the edge of the bed and tied his shoelaces as he contemplated what their third mate would be like. He did understand now why cat shifters needed two mates though. He was exhausted from trying to keep up with Haven.

  “Are you ready, baby?” Haven asked as he stepped out of the bathroom.

  Crew looked up at his handsome mate and smiled. This was what he was always looking for. Someone he could just sit and snuggle with. Just talk and tell each other things that no one else knew. Who would also not only accept his desires, but would love them, too. “Yeah, Heaven, I’m ready.” Crew stood up just as Haven stopped in front of him, their chests a few inches apart.

  Haven gave him a bright smile and ran his fingers through Crew’s hair at the temple. “I like when you call me Heaven.”

  “Well, that’s what you are to me, my heaven. And I like when you call me baby.”

  “Thank you for the three best days of my life. I am looking so forward to the rest of the days after this.” Haven leaned down and kissed him. It was a slow, gentle kiss, but it still rocked Crew’s world.

  “I feel the same way,” Crew agreed when they pulled away.

  “How about we go get some breakfast before I have to go?” Haven asked and took Crew’s hand, leading him out of the room.

  “Where are we going to live?” Crew asked, as they walked down the hall to the stairs.

  “That’s a good question. I’m not sure. For now, how about I just come back here tonight, until we figure it out?”

  “Okay. Maybe Micah and Storm can help us decide,” Crew suggested.

  “That’s a good idea. You talk to M
icah and I’ll talk to Storm. Maybe they have some advice for us.”

  They made their way down the stairs and into the kitchen. Almost everyone was there when they arrived. They took their seats at the table, and everyone joined them, congratulating them. Crew felt better than ever, except his stomach began to twist at the thought of leaving these men, his family. Surely they would end up in Storm’s pride. Haven was his second now and needed to be close by in case his leader needed him. But he would stop worrying about that now. He would discuss it with his mate later. He smiled at that thought. His mate. He had a mate.

  The buzzer sounded, warning them they had a visitor at the gate. Christian got up to check it and let their guests through the gates. Then he went to the front door to wait for them.

  * * * *

  Raith followed Josh and Evan as Micah led them into his office and closed the door. He motioned for everyone to have a seat on the couch and then took a seat himself. Raith sat in the chair next to Micah’s and looked at their two visitors in concern.

  “Okay, Evan, so what’s going on?” Micah asked.

  Evan looked at Josh and Josh gave him a nod. Josh took a deep breath and released it. He looked Raith right in the eye. “Matthew’s gone.”

  Raith’s eyes opened wide. “What? What do you mean he’s gone?”

  “He ran away, Beta,” Evan answered. “No one has seen him in two days. We didn’t even realize he was gone until about an hour ago. We went up to his room to check on him and we found a note saying he was leaving.”

  “May I see the note?” Raith asked softly and held out his hand. Josh looked at Evan nervously, then looked down at his lap. He reached into his front pocket and pulled the piece of paper out. He sat staring at it, but made no move to give it to Raith. “Josh?” Raith asked. Josh swallowed hard and lifted his head. His tear-filled eyes met Raith’s. Hesitantly he raised his arm and stretched it out before him. He placed the note in Raith’s hand.