Unraveled

by Heidi McCahan

  Lauren pushed off the wall, stung by the accusation. “Wait a min—”

  “Blake said you wouldn’t stick around. Looks like he was right. Goodbye, Lauren.”

  Lauren watched her go, the pant legs of Shannon’s scrubs swishing out a double-time farewell, as if parroting her last words. Goodbye Lauren, Goodbye Lauren. The echo remained in Lauren’s head, long after Shannon retreated behind the double doors at the end of the hall.

  Holding back tears, Lauren returned to Granny’s room, dreading their last moments together. She was secretly relieved to find Granny with her eyes closed, a small smile on her lips. Lauren pressed a kiss to her fingertips and blew it in Granny’s direction.

  A family of five from Michigan sat around the fire, their three young girls clamoring for the sticks Seth carved to roast their marshmallows. Someone—Lauren guessed it was Angela—had assembled a portable tray with all the necessary elements for building S’mores. Judging by the crumpled candy bar wrappers and the tell-tale smears on their cheeks, very little chocolate was making it into the graham crackers. But the girls were having a blast and that’s what mattered. Matt and Angela’s kids had joined in on the fun and the area around the fire pit was filled with laughter and conversation.

  Lauren sat in an Adirondack chair, making a half-hearted attempt to enjoy her last night at the Inn, but the events of the previous days cloaked her in a sadness she just couldn’t shake. Although it pained her to admit it, she was going to miss her family.

  “Hey.” Angela sat in the chair next to her, leg outstretched as she rocked Gavin’s car seat with her toe to lull him back to sleep. “Are you okay?”

  Lauren shrugged. “Having second thoughts, I guess.”

  “I’m sorry to hear you’re taking off. You can always change your mind, you know. There’s plenty of room for you at Granny’s new place.”

  Lauren winced. “I—I can’t, Ang. I’m sorry. I know someone needs to help her but I don’t think I can stay here.”

  “But you aren’t sure you should go, either.”

  She raised her eyes to meet Angela’s and nodded. “Something like that.”

  “Could I tell you something?”

  “I guess so.” She tapped her fingernails on the arm rest and stared into the fire, mentally checking out of the conversation. She’d had enough intense discussions for one day.

  “We don’t get to talk very much, with the kids around and everything that’s going on.” Angela reached over and squeezed her arm. “But I wanted to tell you that we’re proud of you. Honest.”

  Lauren placed her hand on top of Angela’s. “Thank you. That means a lot.”

  “You made a very brave decision. I’m sure there’s no one on this planet who loves that boy more than you.”

  Lauren puffed her cheeks and blew out a breath. There was one other person. But she’d deprived him of the chance to know and love his child. For that, she felt anything but brave.

  thirty five

  Matt enveloped her in a warm hug. “I know it’s been a tough week, but I’m glad you came to see us.”

  Lauren hugged him back, grateful for the embrace so he couldn’t see her struggling to hold it together.

  He pulled back and kissed her forehead. “Don’t wait so long to come back, okay?”

  “I won’t.” She bit her lip and scuffed the pavement with the toe of her running shoe.

  “You sure you have everything?” He glanced at her luggage, tote bag and purse balanced precariously against the extended handle of each of her suitcases.

  No! She screamed inwardly. A huge piece of my heart still sits in that ICU. She’d slept clutching her phone, praying someone, anyone, would call during the night and tell her that Blake had responded to the treatment. Nothing. Now the crew chief stood on the dock, loading the vehicles onto the ferry. The foot passengers would be next.

  “I’ll manage,” she willed her lips to form a smile.

  “I know you will. You always do.”

  “See ya, little brother.”

  Matt smiled but uncertainty still filled his eyes. “See ya, Lo-lo.”

  She grasped a handle with each hand and rolled her suitcases toward the end of the dock, her heart pounding in her chest. But she couldn’t go without asking. She stopped and turned.

  “Matt?” Her voice cracked.

  “I’ll let you know as soon as I hear something. Anything. Promise.”

  She nodded. “Thanks.”

  The trip down the gangway was the longest of her life. She paused halfway down to listen to the seagulls squawk from their perch on the dock pilings, filling her lungs with fresh air, savored the briny scent of saltwater one more time. Home. A hollow ache filled her chest. For all the energy she’d invested trying to escape it, Emerald Cove had left its imprint on her heart.

  Once onboard, she wedged her bags between her legs and the railing on the aft deck and fumbled for her phone. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky, which seemed wrong somehow, given her mood. Tapping her favorite camera app, she centered the snow-capped mountains on her screen and pressed the button to capture the image. There. A shot of her most favorite view to carry with her back to Portland.

  The call came as the crewmember freed the spring line from the cleat on the dock. While the man on deck pulled the line in and twisted it into a neat coil, the engines hummed, vibrating the deck beneath her feet. Matt raced from the parking lot toward the boat. His white t-shirt billowed like a sail as he flapped both arms in the air and tried to hail the crew chief. Her phone continued to play the familiar melody of “Firework” but she stood, immobilized, as she read Matt’s lips.

  Stop.

  In slow motion, she glanced down at the number on her screen. It was the hospital. Lauren swallowed back the panic rising in her throat. This was it. They were calling to tell her it was all over.

  She answered the phone, every extremity quaking with fear.

  “Tell me.” There was no time for exchanging pleasantries.

  “Lauren? Can you hear me?” Shannon said. “I have great news.”

  What? The faintest sliver of hope pierced the ominous fear that threatened to overwhelm her. She squeezed her eyes shut. “Is he … did he—”

  “He’s awake. And he’s asking for you.”

  thirty six

  Lauren smiled into the phone. “I can’t believe it. I don’t even know what to say.”

  “Tell me you’re headed this way, silly,” Shannon said. “He keeps saying your name. Pretty persistent for a guy who’s been comatose.”

  Lauren’s heart soared. He wants to see me. But the distance between the ferry and the dock continued to grow and a surge of adrenaline set her in motion. Deserting her bags, she raced across the deck toward the crew chief.

  “Can’t you read the sign?” The crew chief barked above the engine noise, pointing at a placard prominently displayed nearby. “No cell phones back here.”

  “I gotta go, Shan. I’m on the ferry—I’ll be there as soon as I can.” She ended the call and gathered up her courage. “I—I’ve changed my mind. We need to go back.”

  “No can do, missy. The lines are off.” He moved to step around her. Case closed.

  “Please.” She blocked his path and gripped the navy blue sleeve of his uniform. “I have to get off this boat.”

  “Captain can’t exactly shift into reverse, you know.” He frowned at her hand.

  “My boyfriend just came out of a coma. He’s awake and asking to see me. I’m begging you.”

  His face softened and he reached for the walkie talkie clipped to his belt. “Alright, alright. Who can resist a story like that?” He motioned for the wiry, gray-haired man on the dock to catch the lines while he spoke to the captain on the radio.

  A minute later, he relayed the captain’s response. “Looks like today’s your lucky day. We’re headed back.”

  “Oh, thank you!” She resisted the urge to hug him and flashed Matt a thumbs up instead.

  Matt pumped hi
s fist in the air then cupped his hands to his mouth. “I’ll drive you over!” Tugging his keys from his pocket, he jogged back toward the parking lot.

  The engines rumbled again and the ferry eased back toward the dock. The crew dropped the gangway and after tying off the line, the gray-haired man hustled over as she fumbled with her luggage.

  “Here, let me.” He grabbed both suitcases from her hands and hauled them onto the dock like they were Barbie-sized and filled with feathers. He lifted his hat and scratched his head as Lauren pulled a tissue from her purse and mopped the tears on her cheeks.

  “Is this the rafter with the head injury we’ve been hearing so much about?”

  Lauren nodded, smiling through her tears.

  “Well, you tell him Lefty’s got everybody down at Mack’s pulling for him.”

  “I will. Thank you,” she said as Matt pulled up next to her.

  The butterflies cavorting in her stomach were almost more than she could stand. They rode in silence to the hospital, too stunned to even formulate words. She couldn’t imagine what Blake would have to say. Did he even remember?

  Matt drove up to the front door and she hopped out before he could even shift into park.

  Shannon was waiting for her at the nurses’ station, a huge grin stretched across her face.

  “Here,” she held up a Styrofoam cup with a lid and a straw. “I’m absolutely swamped this morning.” She feigned exhaustion with a hand to the back of her forehead. “You’ll just have to take this cup of ice to my patient. Think you can handle it?”

  Lauren reached for the cup and felt her cheeks grow warm. Her heart thrummed in anticipation and she followed Shannon down the hall. “Doesn’t his mom want to see him first?”

  “She already did. She slept next to his bed last night. Once he woke up and she knew he was okay, she went home to tell Ben the good news.” Shannon stopped outside Blake’s door, her eyes wide. “Are you ready?”

  Lauren’s stomach did backflips and her knees trembled. She nodded.

  “I’ll leave you two alone.” Shannon winked before disappearing around the corner.

  Lauren tapped on the door lightly and pushed it open. Blake was lying in bed, looking out the window. But when she came into the room, he turned to look at her. The blue squares in his gown made his eyes seem even more intense. His lips curved into a gentle smile, sending her stomach into another series of flips and turns.

  “Hey.” His voice was gravelly. He stretched a hand toward her. “Come here.”

  She practically floated toward the bed and slipped her hand into his. He wrapped his fingers around hers and squeezed her hand.

  She held the cup out to him. “I brought you a drink.” She rattled it and the ice jiggled against the Styrofoam. “Well, ice chips, anyway.”

  He licked his lips. “Put it down. I just want to look at you.”

  Lord, have mercy. She smiled. “You do?”

  “While I was sleeping, I kept hearing your voice. I was swimming through the murkiest water and my head, my chest … everything hurt so bad. I wanted the pain to stop, but I couldn’t get away from it. But your voice. It saved me.” He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her palm. “Thank you.”

  Her pulse skyrocketed. “You’re welcome.”

  “I know things probably didn’t go so well the last time we talked.” He winced and swallowed hard.

  “Shhh.” She offered him some ice chips. “Don’t wear yourself out. You’ve been in a coma, for heaven’s sake. We can talk later.”

  He shook his head. “No. We need to finish this.”

  She sank into the chair next to his bed, her blood running cold as she remembered his harsh words in the shop.

  “Blake, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about our baby. I don’t expect you to forgive me. But please know that given the chance, I would do it all so differently.”

  He nested her hand against his chest, brow furrowed as his gaze roamed her face. “Why did you run?”

  She brushed away a tear that leaked from the corner of her eye. “I thought if I told you, it would ruin all of your plans. You had that basketball scholarship and everyone was so proud of you. I couldn’t stand to be the one that messed everything up.”

  “Seems to me there were two of us in the back of my truck that night. Don’t you think I at least deserved to know you were pregnant?”

  Lauren dropped her chin to her chest, thought again of all the times she’d reached for the phone that first year in Oregon and then changed her mind. “I’m sorry,” she whispered again.

  “Why didn’t you keep him?”

  “I wanted to. But I could barely support myself, much less a child.” Her chin quivered. “I made an adoption plan, picked the family that I thought would raise him well. In the hospital, I had an opportunity to change my mind, but—”

  Blake’s eyes filled with tears. Oh no. She couldn’t stand to see him cry.

  “I would’ve done anything to help you. You know that, right? And I can hardly stand it that he’s out there in the world. Without us.” Blake swiped at a tear that oozed from the corner of his eye.

  She gulped back a sob. “He has a great life. Much better than I could’ve given him on my own.”

  “I’m still in shock. I don’t even know where to go from here.” He was silent for a minute, his strong hands still holding hers. “But I’m proud of you for choosing to give him a better life. That was an incredibly selfless act.”

  Her legs trembled and she gripped the railing on his bed with her free hand. Selfless? She was anything but. He had it all wrong. She opened her mouth to protest but he pressed a finger to his lips. “I’m not done. Listen to me.”

  She steeled herself for whatever might come next. This was probably the part where he told her to get lost. That even though she’d admitted the truth, he couldn’t get past that level of deception. Let’s get this over with.

  “I want you to know that I forgive you.”

  She blinked rapidly. How could this be?

  Blake’s thumb traced circles over her knuckle. “Did you hear me?”

  She nodded slowly. “I don’t know what to say.”

  His eyes traveled over her face. “Wait.” He frowned. “There is one more thing I need.”

  Her heart stuttered. “Anything.”

  He slid his fingers up to her elbow and reeled her in until her face was just inches away from his. “This.” He pressed his lips to hers, gently at first. When she responded, he deepened the kiss, sliding his hand into her hair and holding nothing back.

  “Wow,” she whispered, a shiver of desire shooting down her spine. “I think you should fall into the river more often.”

  “Stick around. There’s more where that came from.”

  She planted a string of kisses along his jaw. “There’s no place else I’d rather be.”

  epilogue

  "Special delivery.”

  Lauren’s heart stuttered at the sound of his voice. She opened her eyes as Blake ducked under the beach umbrella, two lidded coffee cups in hand. Breathing in the aroma of her new favorite Kona blend, she welcomed the cup Blake offered her. “Thank you.”

  “That’s going to cost you.” He sank into the chair next to hers, those incredible blue eyes staring at her lips.

  She leaned in, her skin tingling as he tilted her chin with one finger and brushed his lips across hers.

  He pulled back, a smile playing at the corner of his lips. “One more.”

  Warmth flooded through her as she kissed him tenderly. “I can’t believe this day is finally here.” She touched her forehead to his. “I love you so much.”

  “I love you, too. Keep kissing me like that and I’ll bring you drinks all day.”

  She giggled. “But then we’d be late for our own wedding.”

  “Call me crazy, but I think they’ll wait for us. I know the pastor pretty well.”

  Lauren took a long sip of her coffee, keeping her eyes locked on his. Their fa
milies were all about a destination wedding. Matt had counseled them through some pretty intense sessions. But the past was behind them. Time for a new beginning.

  Blake wrapped a tendril of her hair around his finger. “It’s been a whirlwind, these last eighteen months. I wouldn’t trade a minute of it. But I can’t wait to just be, you know? To savor these first few days of being husband and wife. To love you the way you deserve to be loved.”

  Her eyes welled up. “Blake Tully, that’s quite possibly the most romantic thing you’ve ever said.”

  He pressed her fingers to his lips and kissed each tip, one by one. “Well, selfishly, I thought if we weren’t spending all of our time sightseeing we’d channel our energy into … more meaningful activities.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

  She felt her cheeks warm under his mischievous gaze. “Now the truth comes out.”

  “Don’t get me wrong. A guy can’t really complain about winning state and getting married all in the same week. But I’m looking forward to a relaxing honeymoon.”

  “I’m proud of you, juggling it all so well.”

  “Thank you. I couldn’t have done it without you by my side. I’m so glad you made it back for the championship game.”

  Lauren cringed. “That was close, wasn’t it?”

  She’d spent the first week of March in Portland, testifying in court. Apparently Holden sold narcotics to an undercover officer on more than one occasion. She shivered. It was unnerving to sit on the witness stand and provide evidence against her former fiancé. But she took comfort in knowing that if Holden was out of the picture, maybe Monique and other victims could finally get the help they needed to conquer their addictions.

  Blake’s first season coaching basketball was a struggle. The critics were harsh, blaming his losing record on everything from his former addiction to his near-drowning. Lauren knew their doubts were unfounded and Blake’s determination paid off. In only his second season as head coach, he led the Emerald Cove Huskies basketball team to the state tournament. Funny thing, they just kept winning. Thankfully, Lauren had caught the last flight from Portland to Anchorage, just in time to see Blake’s team win with a last-second shot at the buzzer, earning the much coveted title of Alaska state champions.