Dangerous Games of a Broken Lady: A Historical Regency Romance Novel

by Linfield, Emma

  Jasper and Miss Green never encountered one another outside the London season. Adelaide saw no reason for them to start now, not if she could fabricate a reason to keep Jasper away. A means of letting him down gently instead of crushing his soul with the contents of the letter.

  I shall write a letter. I shall offer affection and kindness, that may ease Jasper into the prospect of a life without Miss Green. Yes… I will plan it over the course of this coming fortnight; the last before we all depart.

  With Leah safely in London, as soon as she returned from Lancashire, there would be no way that either of them could ever discover the truth. Leah had made her feelings clear. She did not want to see Jasper ever again. Besides, Adelaide was certain that her friend would come back to London with an engagement to announce. A man like Alastair McGillivray could not tarry at his age.

  Cheered by the idea, she rose from the bench and ducked beneath the fronds of the willow tree. Hurrying towards the house, she grasped paper, quill, and ink from one of the library shelves before settling down to write. It could not wait, for she knew poor Jasper was already in torment. He had departed the Colborne house in a dark cloud of despair the previous afternoon. Now, she would create something to brighten his mood.

  The only trouble was, she did not know what to say. In all her life, she had never written a romantic note, nor had she received one. Reuben’s attempts could not be described as poetic or quixotic. His were far more brusque and often bordering on indiscreet.

  I suppose I shall have to be honest, she mused. I shall have to think of him as an admirer might. Indeed, I must make a list of his most excellent qualities and play upon them.

  She did just that, writing a small list of his merits and virtues. Kindness, generosity, warmth, humor, graciousness, strength, propriety, and good-heartedness. It proved rather tricky to think of him in a romantic light, for he had always been her friend and nothing more. Having never experienced love herself, she did not know how she ought to express such feeling.

  Pressing the nib of her quill to the paper, she found her instincts took over. Before she knew what was happening, the ink danced across the page, spilling out a series of emotions that did not feel as if they had come from her. Every dream and fantasy she had endured in her life, she poured onto the cream vellum.

  From my imagination to yours, dear Jasper, she thought, as she lost herself entirely to the task at hand.

  Chapter 18

  Wandering through the park in the midst of another gloomy afternoon, Jasper thought about the events of the previous day. He had not realized the strength of Leah’s feelings for him. He could not believe how foolish he had been, keeping his own feelings to himself. All she had wanted was a sign of his affection, and he had let her down. Now, he feared he had lost her for good.

  However, a dark thought niggled away at the back of his mind as he strolled down the path, admiring the first of the winter roses that had begun to bloom. He hated to admit it, but her behavior had not put Miss Green in a particularly favorable light. Indeed, part of him had barely recognized the aggressive stranger who had sat opposite.

  That haughty tone of voice and cold manner had not suited her. Truthfully, he had begun to wonder just how much he knew about Miss Leah Green. It had only been this season that they had become better acquainted. Even so, many questions lingered in his mind. Did that coldness in her run deeper than it first appeared?

  Then again, you did dash her hopes by remaining silent. Perhaps, she truly thought you did not care, and sought to punish you for hurting her. He paused on his walk, feeling a touch sorry for himself. I did not intend to hurt you, Miss Green. You may be assured of that. Although, whether you shall ever hear my apology with your own ears… remains to be seen.

  He had contemplated seeking her out at her family home, but Adelaide had warned against it. Indeed, she had promised to visit in his stead. Checking his gold pocket-watch, embellished with the Gillett coat of arms, he saw that it was past noon. Adelaide ought to be back by now, if she had kept to her word.

  Turning around, he made the return journey to the Belgravia square where their houses stood. Sure enough, hurrying down the front steps at a rather frantic pace was Adelaide herself. She came to a halt as she noticed Jasper coming through the opposite gate and raised a hand in welcome.

  “Good afternoon, Adelaide,” he said, approaching her.

  “And to you, Jasper. I trust you slept well, as you promised me you would?”

  He smiled tightly. “Always the mother hen, clucking over me.”

  “I worry.”

  “You do not need to trouble yourself with such things, not where I am concerned,” he replied. “I have my own mother to worry for me.”

  “Ah yes, but she does not know what you get up to.”

  He frowned, a stab of anxiety spiking through his chest. “What are you talking about? I do not ‘get up’ to anything, Adelaide.” After his visit to the House of Parliament the other day, he had been on perpetual watch for Lord Rowntree. They had done as they had been asked, but that did not mean the ordeal was over. Anyone could discover the truth of their endeavors. He feared Adelaide had somehow learned of it.

  “Well, my father is still in his rooms, recovering from a rather nasty cold. I wondered if you might be suffering from the same affliction. It would explain the weary look about you.”

  “I told you before, your father’s cold cannot be infectious,” he said matter-of-factly. “If it were, you would also be sick. Indeed, you would be sicker than I because you share the same home.”

  She tapped the side of her chin. “I suppose you are right.”

  He breathed a silent sigh of relief. By the looks of it, Adelaide was none-the-wiser to the events that had taken Jasper and Ephraim to the Speaker’s House. He prayed it remained so. One squeak of it to anyone, and they would all be in dire trouble.

  At least you may rest assured, for now, that Lord Rowntree will not exact any sort of revenge upon Adelaide, he told himself. The job is done. He cannot blackmail Ephraim any longer, nor can he use Adelaide as leverage. Somehow, he couldn’t quite bring himself to believe that it was over. Once a villain had held a proverbial axe over a man’s neck, it tended to stay there.

  “Anyway, I wanted to see how you were faring after yesterday’s trials and tribulations,” she continued, her tone soft and sympathetic.

  He shrugged. “As well as can be, I expect. In truth, I continue to repeat the scene over and over in my mind, wondering what I could have done to make her stay. How could you have allowed me to remain silent?”

  A surprised look washed over her face. “You are not serious?”

  “Whatever do you mean?”

  “You are not seriously attempting to blame me for what happened, are you?”

  He sighed and swiped his cane at the bottom step of house. “No… of course not. I am in an ill-humor today, I’m afraid. You cannot listen to a word I say when I am in such a state.”

  “I rarely listen to a word you say as it is.” She flashed a mischievous smile that prompted him to frown once more.

  “What do you have to be so cheery about? You seem like a giddy Spring lamb, jumping about with such excitement.”

  “I have a gift for you,” she said, without missing a beat.

  He glanced at her, arching a suspicious eyebrow. “You do?”

  She nodded. “Oh yes. May we go inside so I can give it to you? I fear it may rain and I should hate to have it ruined.”

  “I suppose we may.” He began to walk up the steps but stopped halfway. “Tell me, did you speak with Miss Green this morning? I must know before we set foot inside the house.”

  She rolled her eyes in that fashion that irked him. “I cannot see the difference that a matter of yards will make.”

  “Adelaide, for goodness’ sake, will you put me out of my misery?” He immediately regretted snapping at her in such a brusque way. This was not in his nature. It seemed everyone was behaving in a somewhat unto
ward manner of late. Perhaps, Miss Green’s coldness has rubbed off on you.

  “I have not spoken with her, and I will explain why once we are inside,” she replied coolly. “However, I do have something from her. I do not know what it contains, but I fervently hope it shall cheer your spirits. You are starting to bore me with your mournful brooding. It really is most unsettling. Do not make me send you to a sanatorium—I will do it if I must.”

  “Cease your teasing, I beg of you. I did not mean to bark at you like that,” he said, sighing wearily. “Now, may we be civil and step inside?”

  She smiled. “We may.”

  Try as he might, he could not stop his heart from lightening at the sight of her ready grin. Adelaide had a way of brightening any room with her relentless positivity and dry sense of humor. It annoyed him as much as he admired it, but he was very glad to have her around that afternoon. After losing Miss Green, he needed all the optimism he could muster.

  They walked through to the drawing room and sat down, whilst tea was called for. Rain began to patter against the window, just as Adelaide had predicted. Jasper watched it for a while, pondering how keenly it reflected his mood.

  “So, what is this gift you have brought me?”

  Adelaide reached into her small bag and pulled out a letter. She handed it to him, her fingertips trembling. He wondered what reason she had to be so nervous, though he did not mention it. The letter drew most of his attention.

  “What is it?”

  “A letter, obviously,” she replied, chuckling to herself.

  “From Miss Green?”

  Adelaide nodded. “She asked me to deliver it to you myself. I am to be your go-between at last, or so it would seem. When she requested I play messenger, I could not refuse.”

  “She gave this to you? I thought you said you had not seen her.”

  “I have not,” she said. “Her maid instructed me that I was to hand this letter to you directly, and that I should bring any response back to the Green residence. I cannot tell you where Miss Green is actually hiding, but she seems eager to keep up a repartee between the two of you. At least, that is what the offer of a response would suggest.”

  Jasper fixed his gaze on her, scrutinizing her closely. There was something amiss about Adelaide today. She seemed skittish, almost. Then again, she had been through a great deal in the past few days, with the engagement and the events with Miss Green and the ‘sickness’ of her father. Perhaps, I am merely imagining things. My own mind is hardly sound.

  “Are you planning to stay whilst I read this?” he asked pointedly.

  She shrugged. “Whatever you please. I have little to occupy myself with, but I can leave if you wish.”

  “No, no, you may remain. There have never been many secrets between you and I, have there?”

  “No, there have not.” She smiled softly, “You do not have to tell me what she has written, however. I am relatively disinterested in your affairs. I seek only to offer you comfort, as a recently-distressed friend.”

  “How generous of you.” A sarcastic note lingered in his voice, though it was humorously intended.

  Tentatively, he turned the letter over and unfolded it. Sure enough, Miss Green’s handwriting stared back at him. A few letters were different, but he reasoned she had written it in a hurry, or a state of emotional upset. Maybe, all is not lost after all.

  Slowly, he began to read:

  My dearest Lord Gillett,

  I am writing to you with a heavy heart, as family matters have drawn me away from London for the foreseeable future. I would tell you where I have gone, but I must go there alone. Not for me, but for the privacy of those I have gone to care for. They are very sick, and I should hate for them to be unduly stressed by the presence of a stranger.

  Not that you are a stranger to me, Lord Gillett, though I know you believe we have much more to learn about one another. In truth, that is one of the reasons I am writing to you—so that you may better understand the workings of my heart. I understand that I have confused you, and I am sorry for that. However, you left me little choice. What else is a young lady supposed to do, when she so admires a man who is unfailingly courteous, almost to a fault?

  I have had time to think about your response to my line of inquiry. Now, I understand why you did not echo my sentiments in an equally forward manner. You are kind and you have been raised as a gentleman, whilst I am still learning how to behave like a true lady. I mistook reserve for disinterest and indifference. Given time to ponder it some more, I realize I may have been the one who was mistaken.

  However, I must tell you that the pressure upon me does not show any signs of relenting. My mother wishes me to marry before the beginning of the new year, and I fear I may have to do as she pleases. With that in mind, I would ask that you continue to show that strength of resolve that I so admire in you. I beg of you—please make no attempt to discover my location. Instead, I ask that you write to me, so that we may continue our education of one another’s characters.

  In doing so, I may better judge your own needs and hopes and dreams. I no longer believe I align with that vision, and I shall uncover that further by discovering more of your nature. If we are not meant to be, and I discover it for myself, it shall give me the strength I need to set you free of any attachment you may have towards me. I adore you, Lord Gillett, I truly do. However, I also understand the pressure upon you. You say you do not care for societal dogma, but I know you cannot risk your reputation on an unfortunate match. I will not allow it. I cannot permit myself to be selfish in this matter.

  Even so, I should like to hear from you. This way, we may move at a slower pace and get to know one another more intimately. Your words will soothe me in my confinement here, for as long as my family require care.

  Please, accept my apologies for the way that I acted. I did not intend to be so cold and snappish. You know it is not in my nature to be so. I pray that I shall hear from you soon.

  Fondest regards,

  Miss L. Green

  Jasper gasped as he came to the end of the letter. He had never heard Miss Green speak so prettily, nor had he expected such charm from her written words. It dispelled any thoughts he may have had surrounding her coldness. Now, he realized it had simply been an expression of her pent-up emotion, an exasperation with the situation, and not him.

  “Well…?” Adelaide prompted.

  “It is a rather wonderful letter.”

  She smiled excitedly. “It is? What does she say?”

  “She wishes me to write back, and holds no expectations for a future proposal,” he replied, reeling in disbelief. “She would like to use these letters as a means of getting to know one another better. From afar, we may come to a conclusion about our attachment to one another.”

  “I suppose a little time did her some good, then?”

  He nodded. “Yes, I suppose it did.”

  “Will you reply?”

  He glanced over the letter one more time, absorbing its content. He sensed he would read it many more times before he finally understood every word. However, the notions within eased his suffering. If he could be certain of her affections, then he would be able to continue on, knowing he had not lost her. Yesterday, he had thought her blunt and insincere, her coldness making him doubt her true motives for seeking his affection. Now, his former belief in her true admiration had returned.

  He folded the letter up and held it to his chest. “Yes, I think I shall.”

  Chapter 19

  Ephraim emerged from his chambers after several days of keeping to himself. Having feigned a complaint of the chest, no one had sought to disturb his peace. After the events at the Houses of Parliament, he’d had a lot to think about. Each morning, he expected a letter to come from Lord Rowntree, but nothing arrived.

  No news has to be good news…

  After all, they had done as Lord Rowntree had asked. A simple task with a large reward. The second half of the funds had yet to appear, but Lord Rowntre
e had warned that it might take a week, after the fact, for the money to come to Ephraim. Still, the wait was worrying. He had a dowry to pay for. True, he had more than enough from the first instalment, but it was better to be safe than sorry. He did not wish to bankrupt himself on a single payment to the Duke of Bradford.

  The house was eerily empty as he descended the stairs. His wife had gone into town with her dear friend, Lady Phyllis, and Adelaide was nowhere to be found. She had mentioned something about visiting with Jasper, which alarmed and comforted him in equal measure. Surely, Jasper would not breathe a word of what had happened? After all, his own reputation was on the line.