Seducing Sam

by Verdenius, Angela

  Talk about insults. Right then Carly decided to let Ed have free rein. There was only so much she was going to allow, and openly insulting Ed wasn’t a of part of it.

  “Porn,” Ed replied.

  Debbie’s mouth fell open.

  “Not hard porn,” Ed clarified, “Soft porn.”

  Her face froze. “Really.”

  Ed nodded enthusiastically. “So, you see, I read more than just motorcycle magazines.” He added with pride, “I like to mix my selections.”

  Wait for the coup de grace.

  “Up here for thinking.” Ed tapped the side of his head. “And down there for - you know.” One sudden thrust of his skinny hips.

  That was enough for Debbie. With one furious, “Well, I never!” she turned and stormed off the veranda and down the path.

  “That’s probably very true,” Ed commented.

  “Well, there goes one neighbour.” Carly waggled the plate in her hand. “At least she let you keep the biccies.”

  “Hey, I’d have licked them all in one second flat if it looked like she was going to take them back.”

  “Of that, I have no doubt.”

  “Somehow, I feel uplifted. Ready to face the day. Energised!” Whistling, Ed plucked the plate from Carly’s hand, swung around and disappeared back into the house.

  Carly laughed. If there was one man guaranteed to make lemonade out of lemons, it was Uncle Ed.

  About to follow him into the house, she heard the sound of a small motorbike and saw the mailman pull up at the letter box and push some letters into the slot. He waved cheerfully to her, and she returned it, feeling more uplifted herself.

  Noticing the dead plants and straggly flowers lining the path as she walked down it, she decided to do some digging and re-plating on the weekend.

  Retrieving the letters from the box, she heard a “’Morning, Carly.”

  Looking up, she saw Sam standing by his letterbox, a large envelope in his hands and an easy smile on his face.

  “’Morning, Sam,” she called back.

  Raising his hand, he nodded to her and went back to his house.

  His simple, friendly greeting had been more sincere than Debbie’s visit, and it definitely left her feeling a lot warmer.

  Smiling, she walked back up the path, feeling better than she had in weeks. Maybe things were finally looking up.

  Chapter 2

  “What is about you that attracts women?” Louis sloshed the mop in the bucket as he readied it to clean up the spilt blood on the floor.

  “No idea.”

  “Of course, the whole good-looking thing wouldn’t be a draw card.”

  Shrugging, Sam busied himself ensuring all the needles had been safely put in the sharps container before he gathered up the dressing pack. It wouldn’t be the first time a carelessly discarded needle had caused a needle-stick injury, and he wasn’t about to let himself become a casualty.

  “Those two women in the opposite bay have been staring holes in the arse-end of your pants for the last fifteen minutes.” Louis drew the mop over the blood, first smearing it around before finally mopping it up.

  “Have they?” Sam checked the clock. Not long until knock-off time.

  “Yeah. How can you not feel it?”

  “Because I’m busy doing my job?”

  Louis ignored that reply. “If I had women staring at me like that all the time, I’d be a happy man.”

  “You think?”

  “I know.” Louis moved the mop up and down in the bucket to dislodge some of the blood. “I’d have dates every night of the week.”

  “That would kind of cramp your style, seeing as how you work some nights and some days.”

  “I’d work it out.”

  “Having a woman fall asleep on you because you arrive at two in the morning for the date isn’t a compliment, you know.” Sam shoved the dressing pack in the bin, stripping off his gloves and throwing them in with it.

  “I bet you don’t have dates falling asleep on you.” There was a distinct envious tone in Louis’s voice.

  Pausing, Sam glanced at him. The medical orderly was paunchy, short, and his face craggy, but he had a sense of humour and was generally a nice bloke. “Susie in reception was watching you earlier tonight.”

  “She was?” Louis perked up, only to sigh and step on the handle of the mop bucket, drawing the mop strands through the rollers. “I doubt it.”

  “Have you ever asked her out?” Sam headed for the wash basin.

  “No. What would she see in someone like me? I’m not you, Sam.”

  Sam squeezed his eyes shut for several seconds as he scrubbed his hands. Why did everyone think it was so bloody great to be him? Sometimes he wished women wouldn’t stare at him. He felt more at ease with those who just wanted to be his friend, who could enjoy a laugh and move on than he did with the amount of women who eyed him like he was a piece of prime steak.

  Drying his hands, he turned to study Louis. The orderly had no idea how much simpler life could be when people took you seriously, rather than seeing you as an empty airhead. Then again, the grass always did look greener on the other side of the fence.

  Tossing the wadded up paper hand towel into the bin, he crossed over to Louis and laid a hand on his shoulder. “Ask Susie out, Louis. You might be surprised.”

  “You think she’d really go out with me?” He glanced around as though a little worried that someone might overhear them.

  Nurses bustled past, a few of them giving Sam bright-eyed looks.

  “Yeah, I do,” Sam replied. “Besides, what have you got to lose?”

  “My dignity?”

  “More than that.”

  Louis looked uncertain.

  “Would you let an opportunity pass you by just because you’re worried she’ll turn you down?” Sam shook his head. “Louis, ask her. I’ve seen her watching you.”

  “Really?” Louis’s expression brightened.

  “You’re a good bloke. She sees that. Susie’s a nice woman and definitely not stupid. She knows a good bloke when she sees one.”

  Louis’s face brightened even more. “You really reckon she’d go out with me?”

  “I do.”

  “All right.” Beaming, Louis slapped the mop on the floor and scrubbed with renewed energy. “All right, I’ll do it. When she comes in at seven o’clock, I’m gonna ask her out.”

  Smiling, Sam moved away. He knew for sure that Susie would jump at the chance to go out with Louis, mostly because she’d been pumping Sam for information several days before. Too shy to approach Louis herself, the grey-haired receptionist felt right at home asking ‘dear Sam’, whom she looked upon as a son.

  Knowing that Susie was going to be over the moon in the morning, Sam informed the other nurses that he was going for a break and made his way to the canteen.

  Entering, he spotted several other nurses and a couple of orderlies all sitting down for a drink and a bite to eat. A couple of the nurses waved him over, and after pouring a cup of hot coffee from the urn and taking a piece of cake from the platter on the table, he joined them.

  “Hi,” Max greeted him. “How goes it in the ER?”

  “Busy.” Sam sat down with a sigh of relief. “Feet are killing me.”

  “I’d have thought having such big feet would mean that your weight was more distributed, easing the pressure.”

  “Sam doesn’t have big feet,” Dorothy objected. “They’re just the right size for his height. He’s a big man.” She patted his shoulder, allowing her hand to slide down his arm.

  Wanting to shrug off her touch, he simply smiled and sought to change the subject. “Anyone got plans for the weekend?”

  “Working the weekend,” Max responded.

  “I’ve no plans,” Alice replied quickly. “You, Sam?”

  Max grinned.

  Unfortunately, Sam didn’t see it until it was too late and he’d already replied, “Nope.”

  “How about we go to the movies?” Doro
thy cut off Alice before she could do more than open her mouth.

  Alice glared at her.

  “Uh - I’m not really-” Sam began, seeing the trap yawning wide.

  “I could pick you up at seven, we can catch the seven thirty movie, have a drink afterwards.” Dorothy leaned closer, her lashes dropping to cover her eyes. However, it wasn’t enough to cover the gleam of lust in her eyes, and Sam was still seeking a polite way to refuse the invitation when she stood up and said, “I’ll see you Saturday, Sammy.”

  Alice’s mouth tightened as she stood abruptly, gathering her cup and plate. “I’m going back upstairs. See you guys later.”

  As soon as the girls were out of earshot, Max laughed.

  Sam punched him in the arm. “You could have helped!”

  “Ow!” Still laughing, Max rubbed his arm. “You could have refused.”

  “I was trying.”

  “You need to be blunt.”

  “I don’t want to hurt Dorothy.”

  “Look, you need to set boundaries.”

  “Says the man who is now on his fourth wife.”

  “I haven’t set boundaries on wives.”

  Sam scowled at him.

  Max held up his hands. “Just telling it like it is.”

  “As if I’m going to follow your advice.”

  “I’d say I have way more experience than you.”

  “And look where it got you.”

  “And look where yours got you.” Placing one hand on his chest, Max fluttered his eyelashes. “Oh, Sam! I’m taking you out to the movies, you big boy, you, and then I’m going to ply you with drink and ravish your wanger, you big hunk, you!”

  Groaning, Sam slumped in the chair. “Oh God, how do I get out of this?”

  Grinning, Max lifted his coffee mug. “Do you know how many young blokes would kill to be in your over-sized sneakers?”

  “I don’t care. I like Dorothy, I just don’t want to date her.”

  “You didn’t want to date Tiffany, either,” Max said. “Or Sandra, or Mandy, or Trina.” He took a sip of coffee. “You did want to date Linda.”

  “Yeah, but that didn’t last for long.”

  “It was the sex, wasn’t it?”

  Sam gave him a dirty look. “I am not entertaining you with sex details.”

  “Oh, come on. Get it off your chest.” Max leered. “You know you want to.”

  Stretching out his legs, Sam let his feet flop to the sides and his arms hang down each side of the chair as he leaned back. “Come on, Max. There are plenty of other blokes in this hospital - in any hospital, for that matter - who are better looking than me, who have more than me. I don’t know why I’m…”

  Max waggled his eyebrows encouragingly.

  Not wanting to finish the sentence, for it sounded too egotistical, Sam waved his finger in a ‘so on’ gesture.

  “Beautiful?” Max guessed.

  Sam scowled.

  “Gorgeous? Too cute for words?” Leaning forward, Max pinched his cheek. “So all-gosh adorable?”

  “No!”

  Laughing, Max sat back. “The scary thing is, you really have no idea, do you?”

  “Well, I sort of can, but there’s more to me than just looks.”

  “Ooohhh, look who thinks he’s just too handsome for words!”

  “You’re going to the morgue in a minute, and you won’t be breathing.”

  “See, there’s that undercurrent of danger that just attracts the women.”

  Shaking his head, Sam looked at his friend. “Seriously, Max, I get tired of this.”

  Max stopped laughing. “You don’t want to find a girlfriend? A wife?”

  “Well yes, but not like this.”

  “I have news for you, friend. If you don’t meet girls, you’re not going to find one.”

  “No, I mean like this.” He tapped the tabletop with his finger.

  “The table?” Max asked, bewildered.

  “No, you nong.” Exasperated, Sam blew out a breath. “I mean, I feel like the girls hitting on me aren’t interested in me. They see the package, not the contents.”

  “This is very disturbing. You’re starting to sound like a girl.”

  “You’re useless. Maybe I should go see your wife for advice.”

  “If my wife saw you, she’d divorce me. I’d rather you didn’t. I like her cooking.”

  Sam couldn’t help but laugh. “You are such an arsehole.”

  “Hey, I don’t deny it.” Max took another mouthful of coffee, swooshing it around his mouth before swallowing. “So how was your date with Trina? I heard you were all ready for her when she came around. Didn’t bother to get dressed, just waited for her in your underwear, which, according to gossip, didn’t leave much to detail.” He widened his eyes in fake awe. “Big in the department, so they say.”

  “Are you sure you only swing one way?” Sam queried.

  “Oh yeah. I just like to listen to gossip. Be surprised what you hear.” He gave a ‘come on’ gesture with his fingers. “So, your date?”

  “That’s just the thing.” Sam sighed. “It wasn’t a date.”

  “Good grief, you just shagged her on arrival? Mate, I am so proud of you.” Max clapped him on the shoulder. “You also saved a quid on dinner. Good thinking.”

  “No,” Sam retorted. “I mean, I didn’t know we even had a date.”

  “Look, I know you’re absentminded sometimes, but forgetting your date? That’s poor. I may have to take back my admiration.”

  “Do you know how hard you are to talk to?”

  “I’m sorry. Give me another chance. Exactly how did you forget your date? Or non-date, whatever the case may be?”

  Sam rubbed his brow tiredly. “Trina had mentioned going to dinner last Friday night, and I said maybe. She took that as a ‘yes’, and next thing I know, she’s knocking on my door. I answer it-”

  “In your snazzy boxers.”

  “Yeah. She took one look and I couldn’t tell if her bright eyes were to do with tears or delight. I had to pretend I’d forgotten and hurry and get dressed.”

  “And you did that, why?”

  “So I wouldn’t hurt her feelings.”

  “See, Sam, this is the problem.” Max pointed at him. “You’re too nice. Too concerned about other’s feelings. You’re a door mat.”

  “Oh, I don’t know-”

  “The women targeting you want to wipe not just their feet on you, but their bodies. All over. You need to take charge, Sam. Show them you’re not about to be bossed around. That you’re the man.”

  “That’s the problem. They think I am the man. For them.”

  “So you have to show them you’re not. Get tough. In fact.” Max leaned forward. “March up to the medical ward right now and tell Dorothy you can’t go out on Saturday.”

  “That’d embarrass her.”

  “Make something up.”

  “Such as?”

  “Tell you have an STD.”

  Sam raised one eyebrow.

  “Several of them, in fact. Your wanger is out of commission.”

  “I don’t actually need my wanger to show them a good time.”

  Max threw up his hands. “Don’t tell them that!”

  “I wouldn’t tell them what you said, either.”

  “Hey, I’m just trying to help solve your girl problem.”

  “By making me a walking advertisement for irresponsible sex?”

  “Don’t blame me when they start selling tickets to date you.”

  Sam sighed. “I’ll have to think of something, some nice way to break the date.”

  “Yeah, before Alice scratches Dorothy’s eyes out.”

  Distaste filled Sam at the thought of any woman getting into a physical fight. “Now that is a major turn-off.”

  Max looked at him with interest. “You’ve never wanted to see two women have a fight over you?”

  “It’s demeaning.”

  “For you?”

  “No.” Sam drained
his coffee and stood up. “For them.”

  “You’re a strange man.” Max also stood. “Well, I better get back upstairs, make sure no one has popped their catheter bags or blown their IV cannulas.”

  They went their separate ways.

  On the way to the ER, Sam was joined by Selina, a pretty nurse whom he got on with and who had a steady boyfriend and absolutely no interest in him as anything more than a friendly workmate. At ease, he chatted to her until they entered the ER. The rest of the shift passed and finally it was time to knock-off.

  Leaving the hospital, Sam lifted his head and breathed deeply of the night air. After the confines of the hospital, the combined scents of human bodies, blood, disinfectant and soap, he found it refreshing, even if it did contain the hint of exhaust fumes.

  On the way home, he turned up the stereo, bobbing his head in time with the light pop music, humming along and tapping his thumbs on the steering wheel. By the time he turned into his driveway, he was feeling relaxed.

  Whatever happened, his home was his oasis and he could relax.

  He’d relax more if he could figure out a nice way to get out of the date with Dorothy without hurting her.

  Pulling into the garage, he shut the door and stretched, breathing deeply once more before turning to walk into his house. As he did so, a movement across the street caught his eye and he glanced across, surprised to see someone leaning against the fence to Carly’s house. Squinting, he pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose and realised that it was Carly.

  “Hey,” he called, waving.

  “Sam,” she called back, returning the gesture.

  When she didn’t say anything else, he turned and walked to the veranda, jumping up easily onto it without taking the steps and unlocking the door, entering the house to turn on the hallway light and drop the keys on the sideboard.

  “Honey, I’m home!” When SJ didn’t appear, Sam knew exactly where to find him.

  Sure enough, SJ was sprawled across the bed, the tip of his tail flicking lazily at the sight of Sam.

  “Don’t stir yourself for me,” Sam told him. “I’m sure you’ve had a hard day snoozing.”

  SJ yawned, arching his head back while Sam rubbed under his chin, his purr rumbling comfortingly in the room.