by Mary Leo
Chase watched as she took a couple more sips of wine. He was curious about her story. Just mentioning it seemed to make her nervous. He figured it had something to do with Jayden, but he couldn’t be sure.
She carefully put her glass back down on the table and looked over at him, a concerned sadness in her eyes. “It was unusual for my dad to be sober in the morning. Usually, his hangover was so severe that he’d be hunting for a beer at eight in the morning. He could do a lot when he was drunk if he really wanted to.”
Chase wondered why she wouldn’t accept the fact that her dad actually did something heroic. Why was the concept so difficult for her to acknowledge? “One of the things I can remember was looking into his eyes and knowing he was stone sober. He stayed that way right up until my family took over. Your dad was my rock when I needed him most.”
He knew it had to be difficult for RuthieAnn to understand that her father could ever do anything good, could ever be sober enough to do anything right, but Chase felt it was important for her to understand that Clark came through when the chips were down. Hell, it was hard for Chase to believe it at times, but those memories were as clear as if they’d happened yesterday and nothing could shake his resolve when it came to Clark’s decency.
“Where was my brother when all of this was going on?”
“I don’t know, but I assume he’d gone on to school.”
She looked away for a moment, took a breath as if this was hard for her to talk about, then she asked the same question once again. “I just don’t understand why no one told me.”
“It could be because it was right around the time you left.”
When she gazed at him again, Chase felt certain he saw a flash of fear in her eyes, but he couldn’t figure out why. He’d never given her any reason to be afraid of him.
“Chase . . . I,” she began, then she abruptly stopped. “And you don’t remember if anyone hit you or if you just slid on the wet pavement that morning?”
“The sheriff’s report said it was a hit-and-run, so I know I didn’t just slide on the pavement. Besides, if I had slid, I would’ve been under my bike and not halfway on top of it. No, someone hit me from behind then left me there to die. I had a hard time getting past that. It couldn’t have been anyone I knew. It had to have been someone just passing through, but who does that? How can someone just drive away after something like that happens?”
“Maybe they didn’t just drive off. Maybe they made sure you were all right first. Do you remember anyone checking on you, talking to you?”
Chase didn't know how to answer the question. He'd never talked about the girl he'd seen running on the side of the road, or how she talked to him, told him he would be all right. How she held his hand for a moment, cried, then shoved something under his head right before she disappeared.
Problem was, those memories weren’t clear.
Every time he thought about her he’d get confused because there was no way she could have been real. His mind had played tricks on him, had invented her, but as he gazed across the table at RuthieAnn, there was something about her that reminded him of that young girl. Something in those brown eyes of hers that seemed familiar.
Or maybe he just wanted RuthieAnn to be familiar, just as he wanted that girl on the side of the road to be real, the girl from his dreams. All this time, and he still couldn't figure out if she'd been pulled from his imagination. He'd always thought he'd made her up to get through those terrible moments when the pain had consumed him, when he thought he was going to die. He used to dream about her almost every night, then she faded from his memory for a long time, until recently when she started haunting his dreams again. It was as if he knew she was his soul mate, the woman he would spend the rest of his life with, but consciously he knew that woman didn’t exist.
Or did she?
Was RuthieAnn his soul mate?
Sitting across from her now, he flashed on how he’d passed her and stopped for the girl running on the side of the road. But that couldn’t possibly be true. They’d found him on the opposite side of the road, his bike facing oncoming traffic. If he’d merely stopped, he would have been on the northbound side of the road instead of the southbound side where he was found.
But then he couldn’t really remember if he’d been coming back home or leaving.
None of it made any sense.
“I have a recurring dream about a girl who—but it’s just a dream. One minute I was driving along the open road feeling pretty powerful, heading out of town and the next minute I was holding onto your father's hand. It's almost surreal. If I didn't have all the scars and didn't go through everything that I went through, I would say it was all just a nasty dream—a bad nightmare.”
Tears streamed down RuthieAnn’s cheeks. “Oh Chase, I’m so sorry. What happened to you is unforgivable.”
“Hey,” Chase said getting up from his chair and going over to her. “I’m sorry I laid all of that on you. I probably shouldn't have told you that story, but I felt it was important for you to know that your dad wasn't always the bad guy. He had a good moment, and came through for another human being. He was my hero and no matter what else he did or didn’t do, in those moments he was brave and true. You can be proud of him for that.”
RuthieAnn began to sob once again. Without giving it any thought, Chase managed to pick her up and carry her to his bed where he knew she’d be more comfortable. He didn’t know exactly why, but for some reason, his right arm and shoulder seemed to function enough so he could carry her.
He was thankful for that.
As he entered the room, he flicked on a light switch that turned on a soft glow lamp on the nightstand next to his bed. When he put her down, she rolled on her side, and wiped the tears from her face. She looked so vulnerable and helpless that he didn’t want to leave her . . . not like this.
He knelt down, stroked her head and said, “You’ll be more comfortable in here. There’s a bathroom through that door.” He pointed the way. “And clean towels in the cabinet if you need them. Don’t worry about Jayden. My mom probably has him tucked in for the night. She’ll call us if there’s a problem. Now get some sleep. I’ll be right in the next room if you need me.”
Then, without giving it another thought, he leaned in and planted a light kiss on her forehead, then one her cheek, and when she turned to him, he hesitated and stared into her tearful eyes.
God, she was stunning. He slipped her hair back off her face. And in the next instant his lips covered hers. The kiss was salty, delicious and tender, more gentle than he thought possible. For a moment he was lost in it, until he caught himself wanting more of her.
He stopped and sat up.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I don’t know . . .”
“I need you now, Chase,” she said, interrupting his departure, turning on her back. “Lie down with me and hold me. Please. Stay,” she whispered.
His need for her shot through him like a flash of lightning. He was vibrating with desire. He hadn’t felt this alive in years. She seemed to have a power over him that he desperately wanted to succumb to.
“The only way I’ll stay is if I can make love to you.”
She pulled him towards her, opening his hand over her breast, then arching her body up towards his. “Yes, please, until neither of us can breathe.”
He crawled in on top of her, carefully slipped her sweater up over her head and slowly removed her black lacy bra, exposing perfectly shaped breasts that he wasted no time kissing and stroking. She ran her fingers through his hair while he concentrated on her silky soft breasts. It had been so long since he’d been with a woman that her casual sexuality put him at odds with his own desires.
“I haven’t made love to a woman in a very long time. I might be a little rusty at this,” he told her as he caressed her, tenderly rubbing each nipple with his thumbs. The feel of her silky skin under his rough hands caused him to quiver, and his arousal to be rock hard. He loved how she moved with his touch, h
ow each moan seemed to come from somewhere deep inside of her. It had been a long and difficult couple of days, so he wanted to take this slow, wanted her to relax under his touch. To feel safe. To feel wanted and desired.
She smiled up at him. “If this is you being rusty, what are you like when you’re one hundred percent?”
He chucked—she’d broken through his apprehensions. “Give me a minute. I think I’m almost there.”
She laughed. “And here I thought I was the one who was rusty.”
“Darlin’, from the moment we started this, you’ve been an inspiration.”
“I’ve never been anyone’s inspiration before,” she said, grinning.
“You’ve never been with me before.”
For some reason she stopped moving under him, as if he’d turned a switch somewhere inside of her to off.
“Maybe we shouldn’t do this,” she said, her voice shaky, sounding as if she might start crying again. “Maybe this isn’t right for us. I shouldn’t have asked you to stay.”
He slid his hands down on either side of her, resting them on the bed.
“If you have second thoughts, we can stop. God knows I don’t want to, and I think you don’t want to either, but I can walk away if that’s what you want me to do.”
Tears pooled in her eyes, then slowly slid down the sides of her lovely face. He wanted her to laugh again, to be happy. If making love to her wasn’t going to make her happy, then he wanted no part of it.
“You’re so kind, Chase.” She cupped his cheek in her hand. “Too kind. I’ve never known anyone like you. I don’t deserve your thoughtfulness.”
“Don’t put a halo on me just yet. I’m not all that good. There are times when I’m downright harsh. Just ask my family. But I think we both need some TLC right now, and if we can help each other to cope with what happened today, then I think we owe it to ourselves to do just that. No strings.”
“Just sex?”
“As much as needed.”
“I think we need a lot,” she said as a crooked little smile tugged at the corners of her perfect mouth.
She pulled him down against her warm body and kissed him, this time with a fire that burned directly into his soul.
SHE HADN’T MEANT for this to happen. Hadn’t meant to find herself needing his touch, his kiss. She had tried to make light of the moment, making it clear that whatever happened between them should be categorized as casual sex.
But that wasn’t how her body and mind reacted to his every nuance.
Chase Cooper made love as if he meant it, as if he cherished her, as if he loved her . . . but she knew he didn’t. He couldn’t. They hardly knew each other, and yet there was something about the way his hands roamed over her body that caused her to feel as if this wasn’t their first time together. He seemed to know exactly what turned her on, what sent her heart racing, what tormented her soul.
He unzipped her jeans, and she lifted her hips, helping him to remove them. Her panties came off with her jeans and he tossed everything to the floor.
“I want to see you, touch you, smell your bare skin,” he said, his voice low and rough.
He slowly ran his tongue between her legs, gently kissing and licking her delicate skin, sending shivers up her spine and tingles down to her toes as she opened up to him, allowing him to taste and touch everything she had.
She reached up to help remove his T-shirt, but he stopped her. “Let’s focus on you first,” he said while staring deep into her eyes. “Tell me what you want, what you need.”
RuthieAnn hesitated for a moment, not really knowing what that meant. She’d never been with a man who’d thought about her desires first.
“But what about you?”
“Darlin’, right now, watching your naked body move under me is more than I can handle. If it’s all right with you, I want to take this real slow-like.”
Just the idea of taking it slow gave her a rush of heat and caused her skin to prickle and her belly to tighten.
“Slow is good,” she said, arching her body up to him. “Real slow is even better.”
A soft grin stretched his lips tight and brightened his eyes. She couldn’t help but smile up at him, teasing him as she pressed her back into the mattress and lifted her hips once more. “There,” she whispered. “Kiss me there.”
He did as he was told, pressing his warm mouth between her legs, then slowly running his tongue along the essence of her, flicking her center as she moved in unison with his touch. His hands were on her butt, holding her up so he could taste all of her. Her body burned for his touch, and shook as he carefully laid her back down on the bed, pushing two fingers deep inside of her while his other hand cupped one of her breasts, then the other, gently squeezed her already taut nipples.
“Relax into it,” he whispered as his fingers plunged even deeper inside, causing her breath to get trapped in her lungs until he pulled out and dragged those same fingers over her body, tracing every bump and curve as if he were a blind man trying to map each minute detail in order to retain a more perfect image of her. “Don’t hold back. Let yourself go. Let the day escape from your mind and from your body.”
She focused on his words and tried her best to relax and simply enjoy the moment, but something was holding her back and wouldn’t allow her to relax.
“Now,” she told him after she pulled him down to kiss him, hoping that would allow her to erase any negative thoughts. “Come inside me now.”
Without her realizing it, he’d slid out of his jeans, and had already slipped on a condom. When he had achieved all of that without losing a beat, she didn’t know, but when he entered her, the force of that first thrust burned her tender skin. She hadn’t been with a man in a very long time, and the combination of sting and pleasure startled her. She at once pulled back, making it difficult for him to move in any deeper.
“Are you okay?” he asked as he pushed himself up on one arm so she could see his face. His eyes had darkened and his face softened.
“It’s been a while,” she told him. “I’m sorry.”
“I’ll take it slow. I don’t want to hurt you. Relax. Breathe into it.”
He gently pushed in deeper while he kept repeating, “Relax, darlin’. I won’t hurt you. Just relax. We’ve got this.”
Finally, she felt her body ease into the moment as he slipped deep inside of her. “There,” RuthieAnn whispered into his ear. “There’s the magic.”
“Umm,” he groaned and kissed her, hard. Their tongues pushed against each other, adding more fuel to the already blazing fire.
As his thrusts quickened, she grabbed hold tighter, running her hands up and down his incredibly strong back, feeling each muscle contract with each marvelous thrust.
Then, as if all the hell and fury that had built up within her during the last few days reached its breaking point, they both tumbled over the cliff at the same time in a torrent of sensations that caused her to hold on to him as though her very life depended on it. Glorious sweat drenched both their bodies, making each of them slick with a warm afterglow.
His naked body lying over hers felt positively marvelous, and she never wanted to let go . . . ever.
As they slowly drifted back to earth, Chase slipped out of her and cradled her in his arms. Neither of them spoke. She wanted to, but knew whatever she might say wouldn’t be right, wouldn’t be enough. RuthieAnn couldn’t help the feeling that something amazing had just taken place, and the realization that this unbelievable moment had happened with Chase Cooper made her incredibly sad. For the second time in her life, she felt genuine love for another human being. The first time had been when Jayden was born, but this time she knew for certain Chase Cooper could never be hers.
Seven
Light rain made it difficult for Chase to see ahead of him. He hated rain when he cruised on his bike. The roads became slippery, he had a hard time seeing, and despite his thick leather jacket he still had a deep chill. He couldn’t imagine how cold the young wom
an running on the side of the road must feel in her thin white lacy dress and bright pink hat. He’d passed her going at least forty-five, but then decided to slow down and stop to see if she needed any help. It was her bare feet that triggered his curiosity, her bare feet that seemed to be bleeding. Why would she be running without shoes? And where was she going?
As he approached her, he spotted blood on her forehead and on her swollen lips. The closer he came to her, the more bruises he could see on her face and neck. She looked as though she’d been in a fight that she’d lost. He glanced behind her and saw an early model, beat up, dark-blue car creeping towards them, its engine loud . . . almost too loud, as if the muffler had been damaged. A sudden clutch of absolute terror gripped his entire body, causing him to freeze in place. He had an urge to get back on his bike and drive away, to escape the situation, but he couldn’t move, couldn’t think straight.
In the next instant, he was lying on the ground. His body was twisted in sharp unnatural angles. He could taste the salty blood in his mouth, could smell blood all around him, could feel it draining from his body, draining out his very life with each drop.
The girl in the white dress knelt on the cold wet ground next to him, bending over him. They were both smeared in blood. Where was it all coming from? Was it his? Was it hers? A combination? He didn’t know.
The one absolute thing he knew in his heart was that this girl, this young woman, was somehow connected to him and would be for the rest of their lives. But he’d never seen her before. Didn’t know her name or anything about her.
She smiled as she covered him with a bright pink scarf or was it a blanket? He couldn’t really see it clearly, but it was too small and only covered the center of his chest.
Cold.
He felt so cold he began to shiver. It racked his body until he couldn’t control it. Was he scared? Scared of what? The young woman? But why? She was beautiful and she was someone he knew to be good. She would be his soul mate. His destiny. He knew that now. He couldn’t escape her, couldn’t run from her . . . he didn’t want to run from her. They belonged together. She leaned over and gently kissed him on his lips.
