Angels of Humility: A Novel

by Jackie Macgirvin

  She memorized a new Scripture and vowed to quote it frequently. First Thessalonians 5:16-18: “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” She determined that through God’s grace she would have a good attitude so that the staff and patients would see God’s love through her.

  With Sarah refusing to entertain the negative attitudes that the tormenting spirits fed on, they left for the day. She had resisted and they had fled. This opened the door for more supernatural activity and intimacy with the Holy Spirit.

  Nancy was her aide that morning and she entered the room without knocking.

  “Good morning,” chirped Sarah. “Isn’t it a wonderful day?”

  “What ever you say, ma’am; that ain’t the way I see it.”

  Well come over here, Nancy, and tell me what’s concerning you and then, while you’re getting me dressed, I’ll pray for you the whole time.”

  Sarah felt like she had received a picture in her mind from the Lord and decided that this time it would be OK to share it. “Nancy, the Lord just showed me some rosebuds, really tight and unopened. They’re in a vase in the dark. As long as the temperature is cool, they’re not going to open, but then I saw the sunshine on them and the warmth caused them to open right up. They were the most beautiful apricot colored roses—really large. I think the Lord is telling you that you’re like those tight buds and you need to start exposing yourself to the warmth of the Son and then your life will really blossom.”

  Sarah received more revelation. She felt that Nancy’s son was estranged from her, but she was too scared to say it.

  “Go on,” encouraged Malta, “Tell her. It will help heal her heart.”

  But what if I’m wrong? thought Sarah. Roses are easy. This is serious.

  “You’re not wrong, but remember you’ve committed to give it all you’ve got while you’re still here?”

  Sarah took a deep breath, but spoke so quietly that Nancy had to ask her to repeat her statement.

  “I wanted to know if you have a son.” When Sarah saw the tears start to well in Nancy’s eyes, she didn’t wait for the reply. “Are you estranged?” Nancy nodded as the tears rolled down her cheeks. Sarah grabbed Nancy’s hand. “It’ll be OK. The Lord wants you to know that He’s working on your son’s heart and that within a few months he’ll come back home. But you need to forgive him and not keep bringing up the past. That will only drive him away again.”

  Nancy ran into Sarah’s bathroom to compose herself. When she left, she felt genuinely cared for and thrilled about her son. Maybe prayer does work, was the thought flowing through her mind.

  Barbara visited almost every day and was a constant encouragement to Sarah. “Tell me where to put the push pins on the world map. What countries did you pray for last night?”

  “I prayed for Belize, and I prayed for the Cook Islands. I guess I was in a tropical prayer mood last night,” laughed Sarah.

  “The Cook Islands? Your prayers are sure stretching my poor geography skills. Where, pray tell, are the Cook Islands?”

  “They’re about halfway between Australia and South America. Or, just look for Hawaii and go south. You can find that, right?”

  “I’ll have you know I’m not that bad,” she replied, rolling her eyes. “Well I’ll be, here are the Cook Islands.”

  “Did you make it to the jail this week?” asked Sarah.

  “Yes, and I have a special surprise.” She pulled something out from behind the chair. “I took pictures of all the inmates and put them on this bulletin board, all the inmates except Will, that is. He wouldn’t pose without making an obscene gesture,” she said shaking her head.

  Sarah laughed, “That sounds like the Will I knew.”

  “I’ll hang it here so you can see their faces. They all say “hi,” as always, but Skinner wanted me to tell you that he’s getting out in eight weeks. He’s still so excited that he doesn’t have nightmares any more. He can’t wait to come by and visit you.”

  He better hurry, thought Sarah.

  Sarah’s deeper revelation of the Lord’s love for her consumed her every thought; she even dreamed about it at night. It motivated her to endure daily humiliations and embarrassment with grace. Her attitude continued to improve. She studied the Scriptures about the apostle Paul not considering his present sufferings to be worthy to be compared with the glory to come.4 Sarah remembered some of the things that Paul went through for the Gospel: beatings, imprisonment, being stoned with rocks, being shipwrecked and floating in the sea, persecutions, false accusations, sleepless nights, hunger and thirst, being cold and naked.5

  Sarah meditated on that and tried to imagine how she’d hold up under all those tribulations. I can’t believe what Paul went through. I have a warm room and enough food, and not only is my freedom of speech protected, but I have a captive audience.

  With the Holy Spirit convicting her, she was able to let go of the last vestiges of her pride, resentment, and feelings that she was entitled to a better life than this. If the apostle Paul suffered like that, and Jesus left the perfection of Heaven to suffer here for my salvation, why do I think I should be exempt? The servant is not better than the master. 6

  When it came time to be spoonfed at the table, she would think of Paul going hungry. He would think I live in the lap of luxury, thought Sarah, and she no longer resented wearing a bib and being fed like a toddler.

  She was even able to be gracious to the aides who bathed and toileted her, no matter how humiliating it was. As the warm bath water washed over her and the aide scrubbed her sagging, wrinkled body, she was able to release her humiliation by closing her eyes and thinking of Paul, bobbing in the cold, dark sea for a whole night and day. Yes, compared to Paul, my life is fine. She began to reframe her thinking. Instead of feeling resentment because of her helplessness she thought, Every one of my needs is met, and I even have helpers to assist me.

  Joel and Malta were there to constantly remind her that short-term sacrifices would reap long-term rewards. “Only one life, t’will soon be past, only what’s done for Christ will last.”7

  The staff was drawn to Sarah’s kind words and cheerful attitude—a rarity there among the patients. They welcomed the prophetic words she spoke over their lives, and the more she used this gifting the more it increased.

  When Sarah’s arms became too weak to propel her wheelchair, she received an electric one. It was like getting a new lease on life. Each day Sarah cruised up and down the halls with ease, looking into rooms for patients who were alone and discouraged. Most days she was able to lead someone into a relationship with the Lord. She also started an informal Bible study five days a week, right after lunch, to disciple her new converts.

  Discouragement, Abandonment, Depression, and other demons were fighting to hold their ground with the new believers, but with Sarah’s prayers and spiritual warfare these spirits had a hard job.

  Sarah was more convinced than ever that her prayers could have an effect since she’d read in her devotional guide about a Chinese pastor who was paralyzed from a stroke. When asked if he was discouraged because he could no longer do much for God’s Kingdom he replied, “When I pray from this bed, all of China shakes.”8

  “That’s right,” said Joel, “Don’t underestimate the power of your prayers, especially for those who will die in the next 24 hours. Remember how the Lord saved George at the last minute? You can do that for others.”

  “The shining sun and the falling rain are given both to those who love God and to those who reject God; the compassion of the Son embraces those who are still living in sin. The Pharisee lurking within many believers shuns sinners. Jesus turns toward them with gracious kindness. He sustains His attention throughout their lives for the sake of their conversion, which is always possible to the very last moment,”9 said Malta.

  She would frequently request, “Lord, I pray that I would always pray.” Unbeknownst to Sarah, her prayers were the catalyst
for one of the lay leaders at the Christian church to begin arranging a regular visitation program for the Manor. Twelve members would eventually sign up and commit to visiting the Manor once a week to pray with and witness to the patients and staff. This would ensure that a Christian witness would be in place when Sarah was gone.

  With more grace given to her, Sarah’s prayers, for those inside and outside the Manor, were more consistent and powerful. She prayed for all the staff and patients in the Manor, in addition to prayer walking the four blocks in her mind and praying for the inmates, Victory Church, numerous missionaries, various countries, and those who were going to die in the next 24 hours.

  News of Paul’s death had hit her hard, but she drew great comfort from the Lord that Paul was with Him. Kathy and Jordan had visited her shortly after his death, and Sarah continued to pray fervently for them.

  Kathy was doing as well as could be expected. Many of the women from the church had gathered to support her. The church even offered to let her stay at the parsonage rent-free for several months, but she chose to move back to her hometown to be close to her family and friends. Jordan thrived on spending time with his grandparents, “Papaw” and “Nana,” and his many cousins. Kathy was back at her home church, had reconnected with many old friends, and the crisis was causing her to press in to find deeper intimacy with the Lord and His new direction for her life. He was pouring His grace on her liberally.

  The search committee at Bradbury Victory Church had just extended a call to pastor Alan Koch and his family, who had been God’s first choice to pastor this church when Paul’s interim term was up.

  Barbara, helped along by Sarah’s prayers, fearlessly, and without excessive perspiration, visited the jail at least twice a week. She ferried messages back and forth from Sarah to the inmates. The director had asked Barbara to consider co-leading a Bible study once a week with one of the men from Victory Church who had volunteered to help out. This was their second week, and 17 inmates had attended. The prisoners decided to name their group “Hug a Thug” because they felt so cared for.

  CHAPTER 41

  “Sometimes I walk through graveyards and speculate how many unfulfilled promises and untapped dreams lie dormant under my feet. I ponder the many lives that fall short of God’s intended purpose…. Die Empty! My goal is to give the graveyard nothing but a vacant carcass of a used-up life!”

  Wayne Cordeiro1

  Sarah prayed during most of the day and many times during the night. She dozed fitfully, her body’s pains not quite letting her reach a restful sleep. On those nights, from her bed in the darkened room in the Manor, the last place on earth she wanted to be, she listened to the continual worship music and watched or laid her hand gently on the rotating globe. Many nights she received visions from the Spirit, pictures flashed through her mind of isolated native villages, modern cities, starving children, or a soldier alone and dying on the battlefield. She prayed for those impressions as she drifted in and out of sleep.

  During the dark, still hours when she was wide awake, she also cried out for salvation for people around the world who were going to die in the next 24 hours. She called it her “thief on the cross” prayers because the one thief crucified next to Jesus had been saved just before he died.2 She was especially motivated to pray these prayers because George had been saved on his deathbed and she was full of gratitude.

  “Jesus, I pray for those who are going to die, that You would let them see Your beauty. Let them see You in Your pure love, longing for them to spend eternity with You. I rebuke demonic influence that would lead them astray. Lord, strip away deception that would cloud their minds and confuse them. Let Your truth be known in their hearts and minds. Jesus, in Your great mercy snatch them from the enemy’s grasp even up to their last breath.”

  The Holy Spirit was busy answering Sarah’s prayers all around the world. Avner, a young rabbinical student in Israel, had been meditating on the messianic prophecies as he did his homework that evening.

  When he went to bed, Avner dreamed he was in the crowd at the temple the day Jesus unrolled the scroll and read Isaiah 61:1–2:3

  The Lord God has put his Spirit in me, because the Lord has appointed me to tell the good news to the poor. He has sent me to comfort those whose hearts are broken, to tell the captives they are free, and to tell the prisoners they are released. He has sent me to announce the time when the Lord will show his kindness and the time when our God will punish evil people. He has sent me to comfort all those who are sad.4

  The crowd was murmuring, “Isn’t this Jesus, the carpenter’s son?” As Avner listened, he knew that he was hearing the truth. He didn’t know how he knew, but even as he actively tried to resist, he knew in his heart that what he heard was real and true. He awoke immediately and Jesus in all His splendor and loving kindness was sitting on the side of his bed. He looked straight into Avner’s eyes and said, “Today this Scripture is fulfilled in your hearing, Avner.” Then He was gone.

  The next morning Avner boarded the city bus. Three stops later, a suicide bomber reached under his coat and detonated the dynamite strapped to his body.

  In Pattaya, Thailand, a young woman was dying alone in the back alley. She had contracted AIDS from working in the sex trade. Her immune system was devastated. For several weeks she had fought a dry cough. When she grew too sick to work, she was discarded. She lay in an alley shivering in the night air, her face flushed, overcome by a very high fever. Most of her hair had fallen out and red patches covered her face. She felt she was suffocating; each breath was more challenging than the one before.

  In response to Sarah’s prayers, an angel appeared. Although she was unaware of its presence, she suddenly remembered the time, as a little girl, when she went to a meeting and a missionary told of a man named Jesus who loved her. He promised Jesus would respond to those in need who called His name. When she went home that night and told her mother, she was severely beaten and told to never return to that place. With one last effort, she drew in a breath and as it left her body she weakly whispered, “Je—sus.” The next second, her spirit was gently cradled in the angel’s arms and released from the bonds of earth.

  In Haiti, outside a shack with battered wooden walls and a tin roof, an elderly woman lay on a cot moaning. Several Haitians were chanting over her, and she was surrounded by sacred objects: candles, incense, swords, knives, needles, nails, goblets, mirrors, amulets, and masks meant to keep away harmful forces. Women were casting spells for protection and others were holding her head up to help her sip a potion.

  The Haitians watched the sky for falling stars that evening. In their folklore, when a star falls someone will die. A star did fall that night and Edwidge did die, but not before an angel was commissioned to drive back the spirits of Voodoo and issue her a clear invitation to trust Jesus to forgive her sins and dwell with Him for all eternity.

  Several months passed. Though Sarah’s body was progressively weakening, her spirit had grown stronger. She had made an impact on the Manor. Everyone knew who to come to if they needed encouragement and prayer, and many of the workers and patients needed just that. So many people started visiting Sarah for prayer that the staff joked about needing to “take a number.”

  If Sarah wasn’t cruising the halls in her wheelchair looking for others, she made herself available by parking at a table in the game room, starting a puzzle, and praying silently. Before long, several residents would join her. As they worked together, Sarah would share about how the Lord loved each one of them from before the foundation of the world and how He still had a plan for their lives no matter how brief their lives might be. “As long as you have breath, there is a will of God for you today—no exceptions!”

  Her love for Jesus was growing each day. She loved Jesus more than she loved the few possessions she had left or her reputation. He had fully captured her heart, and she was totally abandoned to Him. Sometimes that love was so strong that she could only describe it as “an ache of love.”


  “Jesus, I long to see You face-to-face. I long to look into Your eyes of love and see them looking back at me,” she whispered under her breath as a prayer many times each day. Her will had been signed long ago, leaving all her assets to missionaries in the 10/40 window. A “Do Not Resuscitate” sign hung on the end of her bed. She was ready to go home when the Lord was ready to take her.

  Sarah woke in the middle of the night. Her body was paralyzed and her speech was slurred, but her thinking was still clear. She could not move to push the call button. She had imagined before that to be a prisoner in her body, unable to communicate, would be terrifying. But as she lay in the darkness, unable to move, she was not afraid. She prayed as she listened to the worship CD.

  “You’re just one step closer to home, Sarah, one step closer to home,” whispered Malta tenderly. “You are perfectly loved and there is no fear in love.”5

  “Your body is failing, but your spirit is strong in the Lord. Fight to the end, oh mighty intercessor,” said Joel. “Your prayers are powerful. We will hold up your weak arms6 as your prayers advance the Kingdom one last time.”

  I don’t even have to be able to talk to do God’s will. All I have to be able to do is think.

  “That’s right,” said Joel. “As long as you have a pulse, you have a purpose.”

  Sarah had prayed for the countries and cities in the 10/40 window so many times she had many of them memorized. Lord, I pray for India. Let Your Spirit fall there. I pray that Christians there would have great spiritual impact. Lord release angels to Calcutta, to Delhi, to Bangalore, to Mumbai….

  In the Spirit, Joel was watching Sarah’s prayers ascend like pleasing incense before the glorious throne on the crystal sea. Thunders and lightenings radiated from the throne7 and the room was full of worship, brilliance, life, and color. Warring angels, reflecting His glory and fierce in their holiness, lined up before the throne. The first one approached and bowed low before the Lord. When Sarah’s prayer for Calcutta ascended, Jesus laid His hands on the angel and commissioned him, “Go.” The angel turned, set his fiery gaze on Calcutta, and vanished.