The Cowbear's Curvy Christmas (Curvy Bear Ranch 2)
Page 5
She choked back a sob, but couldn’t hold back the flood of tears. Deep wracking sobs tore up from the depths of her heart. She’d planned a fairytale wedding with five hundred guests. Champagne should have flowed like water. She should have been licking cake off of her faithful husband’s fingers. But instead, she was left with a ring she’d never wear and a gown she’d love to burn.
The squeak of the ladder caught her attention. As Mack’s face came into view, she quickly turned away and wiped the tears from her cheeks.
“What are you doing up here?” he asked softly.
“Just looking at the horses.”
He sat down next to her and swung his legs over the edge. “You picked an interesting angle.”
“Sometimes you need a different perspective on things.”
Out of the corner of her eye, she watched him turn to study her. Great. She was in that shaky state in which she’d confess everything if he asked what was wrong.
As a preemptive strike she asked, “How did the fence repairs go?”
“Good. We cleaned up a section of the fence that was listing. Last year, some of the horses escaped and we spent three days rounding them up.”
“I’m glad it went well.”
A horse whinnied as silence stretched between them. Finally he asked, “Are you okay?”
She turned to find him leaning toward her. A look of concern shadowed his eyes. But beyond that, an animalistic magnetism flowed between them. For a second, she forgot all about her problems with Ben and focused on the soft lines of Mack’s lips. Then she realized what she needed: him.
“Kiss me,” she whispered.
He groaned and cupped her face in his hands. “We shouldn’t.”
“Don’t you want me?”
In that moment, she needed reassurance that she was still sexy, that she was still desirable. If he said “no,” something would break inside her. She’d never felt so desperate for acknowledgement. All of a sudden, she needed to know that she wouldn’t be alone forever. She needed confirmation that she could still capture a man’s attention.
The bar didn’t count. They were drunk. But right now, in the middle of the day and completely sober, if he refused her advances, she’d have confirmation of her deepest fear—that she wasn’t sexy enough to deserve love.
“Oh, Madison,” he murmured a second before brushing a feathery kiss across her lips. “I don’t think we should be doing this.”
“But you want me, right?”
He growled. “More than you could ever know.”
“Then show me,” she whispered as she lay back into the hay.
He lay on his side next to her and pulled her into his arms. “You’re one temptation I can’t resist.”
“Then don’t resist.”
She gasped as he crushed his lips against hers. His hand slid down the side of her body and across her hip. At first, his mouth consumed her with fiery kisses, but then he slowed to brush kisses across her throat.
His tongue darted out from between his lips as he nuzzled her neck. “Why can’t I stay away from you?”
“I don’t know,” she murmured.
But really, she didn’t care why he couldn’t stay away. What was important was that he wanted her. A big, strong, sexy, virile man wanted to peel her clothes off and make love to her in a barn. If that didn’t mean she was still attractive, nothing would. But she wasn’t above fishing for compliments.
“Maybe you just can’t resist my curves,” she said.
With one hand, he deftly unbuttoned the top of her sweater. “I love a woman who’s soft and smooth in all the right places.”
His compliment heated her flesh in a way she could never have imagined. She wanted him naked. Without preamble, she yanked his jacket off and tossed it onto a nearby bale of hay. After making quick work of the buttons on his shirt, she pulled it off and tossed it toward the jacket. Seconds later, his pants were added to the pile, but when she reached for his boxers, he grabbed her wrists and pinned them overhead.
“Shh. Slowly. You’re always in such a rush.”
“I want you inside me. Now.” Her voice held a hint of desperation. She hoped he hadn’t heard it.
His gaze raked across her skin as he unbuttoned her pants. “You’re so incredibly beautiful.”
She reached up to run her hands across his rock-hard abs as if to confirm her power over him. Little shivers followed in her wake. If she could reduce the cowboy to trembling with a single caress, then what could she do to him with her mouth?
The wicked thought took hold and became an obsession as she pushed him onto his back. She rolled to cover him and settled her cotton-covered pussy over his rigid cock. With only their thin underwear to separate them, every inch of his heat pressed against her moist center.
She writhed against him, teasing him. “You want this?”
He grabbed her hips and arched against her. “What do you think?”
A wry smile crossed her face. “I think that I want to taste you.”
“Oh, hell.”
“Mmm,” she murmured as she slid between his legs.
After hooking her fingers into his boxers, she slowly pulled them down. His cock sprang out. She hadn’t really gotten a good look at him in the truck, but now she could see every vein, every ridge, and every inch of his huge cock. Her mouth turned to cotton. How had she taken him the other night? He was huge.
“Are you just going to stare at me?” he asked with amusement.
“You’re just so…”
“Yes?” He arched a brow.
To stop herself from saying something stupid, she leaned forward and licked him from base to tip. He shivered and moaned. Encouraged, she wrapped her lips around the head and sucked gently. He pushed her hair out of her face, probably to give himself a better view.
She dragged her lips up and down. With each pass, she took a little more of him into her mouth. She liked a challenge, but even more so, she liked the whimpering sounds of pleasure he made as she sucked.
“Oh, Madison. Jesus.”
She closed her eyes and relaxed into a luxurious pace. As she reached the tip, she swirled her tongue across the head and took a breath before sliding him back into her mouth. His hands tangled in her hair as she increased tempo. Soon, his hips moved in time with her mouth. Each thrust filled her with a sense of pride. She still had the ability to drive a man crazy.
He moaned. “Come here.”
She yelped as he grabbed her under the shoulders and dragged her across his chest. She’d never been with anyone who could lift her up as if she weighed nothing. As a curvier woman, she’d always been self-conscious about her weight while in bed, but Mack made her feel lighter than a piece of hay. For once, she felt delicate and feminine in a man’s arms.
Her thighs spread as he pushed up to fill her with every inch of his cock. As a rush of pleasure tightened her body around his, she bit his shoulder to keep from screaming. He responded with a growl and a rough thrust. She loved the carnal depth of his voice. She could listen to him whisper sweet nothings all night.
Not that he would be doing that. This was just sex. Meaningless, emotionally empty sex. She pressed her face into his shoulder. It didn’t matter. She didn’t need him to love her; she only needed him to prove that she was still worthy of being touched.
But the more she tried to block out the errant thoughts, the more her heart emptied. She gazed into his glassy-eyed face and tried to pretend that the look of lust was enough. Blood rushed through her ears, giving her something to fixate on other than her thoughts.
Stop trying to make this something more than it is, she warned herself.
Mack slowed his pace. “Are you all right?”
“Yes.”
She groaned as he surged into her. As she clung to him, every inch of her tensed at once. For a second, she couldn’t breathe. Then the whole world exploded around her in undulating waves of release. When she fell limp against his chest, he rolled her onto her back an
d plunged into her again and again. She rode waves of orgasmic bliss, blotting out everything but the feel of their bodies joined as one.
Mack thrust one last time before spilling into her. He collapsed against her with a soft growl of pleasure. The pressure of his body against hers brought back her heart’s longing for more than just sex.
She’d waited her whole life to love someone, but in an instant, her dreams had been shattered. The heartache had nothing to do with Mack. She couldn’t blame him for readily taking what she so easily offered. What a mess.
After rolling onto her side, she crawled to gather up her clothes.
Mack sat up. “Where are you going?”
With her back to him, she steeled her heart. “I’m leaving. Did you think we’d cuddle afterward?”
“I thought you’d want to at least lie here for a minute.”
She took a breath and blew it out. If she let Mack hold her now, she’d burst into tears. She couldn’t let him think he’d hired an unstable, hysterical woman, even if it was the truth.
“I need to start prepping dinner.”
As she pulled the sweater over her head, he stood and took her hand. “Did I miss something?”
“No. I wanted you. You wanted me. We had sex. End of story.”
“Madison.”
She gave him a sharp look. “Don’t. Please, just take it for what it was—meaningless sex.”
He frowned. “I don’t appreciate being used like a stallion.”
“That’s such bullshit. You wanted me just as bad as I wanted you. But you were right about one thing.”
“What?”
“We need to stop doing this,” she said.
“Sex?”
“Yes. I don’t understand why it’s so easy to want you, but I need this job. Sex will just mess everything up.”
He slowly drew on his pants. “If that’s what you want, fine. But don’t pull this crap of seducing me and then pretending you didn’t want me. At least give me the courtesy of not being a liar.”
She drew back as if he’d slapped her. “I’m not a liar.”
“Aren’t you?”
He pushed past her and climbed down the ladder. When he reached the bottom, he scowled up at her and opened his mouth as if to say something. He shook his head, pressed his lips together, and stomped off.
The pit of her stomach dropped. She’d acted like a crazy bitch, and for what? Mack didn’t deserve to be pulled into her mess. She shouldn’t have taken her frustration out on him. She’d be lucky if he didn’t send her home tonight. And why not? Who would want an unstable crazy person running their business?
***
Mack avoided looking at Madison through the first half of dinner. He didn’t comment on the dried-out mashed potatoes or the tough-as-hell steak. He ignored the mushy carrots and burnt dinner rolls. But he couldn’t ignore the anger and confusion swirling in his belly. He wasn’t one to misread a woman’s signals, and he never would have had sex with her if she’d given him any indication that she wasn’t completely into it. So why the hell had she pushed him away?
“Please pass the butter,” Madison said.
Mack picked up the small tray and handed it to her. As she grasped it, their fingers brushed. Their gazes met for a second before she looked down.
Logan said, “Steak’s pretty good.”
“I burned it.” Madison’s dejected tone was so unlike her usual bubbliness that Drew and Logan looked up.
“Hey, don’t worry. We’ve had our fair share of steak that could double as charcoal,” Logan said.
Mack shot him a withering look. Logan shrugged his shoulders.
Drew asked, “How did everything go today?”
“Fine,” she said.
Drew threw Mack a questioning look. Mack shook his head as if to say, Drop it.
Madison pushed back from the table and picked up her half-eaten plate of food. “I’ll be back later to clean up.”
“Are you feeling okay?” Mack asked.
“I just need to lie down.”
After she left the room Logan asked, “What’s up with her?”
“I don’t know,” Mack answered.
“Well, something happened.”
Mack balled up his napkin and stood. “I’ll go check on her.”
“I bet you will,” Logan mumbled under his breath.
Mack ignored him. He’d deal with his brother later. Right now, his concern for Madison outweighed everything else.
He took the stairs, then followed the hall until he reached her room. As he knocked softly he asked, “Can I come in?”
“Not now, Mack.”
“I know something’s wrong,” he said.
Through the door, he heard her sniff. His restless bear’s desire to protect her overwhelmed his desire to respect her space.
With a sigh, he turned the doorknob and peeked in. “I’m coming in, okay?”
When she didn’t answer, he stepped into the room. He found her standing near the window looking outside. Moonlight streamed to cast soft shadows across the floor. He assessed her stance. Shoulders slumped, head hanging, she looked like she could hardly stand.
“Hey,” he whispered as he crossed the room.
As he reached her side, she turned and wrapped her arms around his chest. “I’m a mess.”
“Shh, it can’t be that bad.”
She clutched his shirt as she sniffed. “You’re right. I lied. I’m not better than him.”
“Than who?”
“My fiancé.”
He stepped back. “You’re engaged?”
“I was. Not anymore.”
He sucked in a breath. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“No,” she whined.
He stroked her back and held her close. His protective instincts were on high alert. He didn’t know anything about her other than what she’d told him. How much of it had been a lie?
“Is your name even Madison?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Okay. So you didn’t lie about everything.”
“No.”
He glanced around the room, trying to find a place for them to sit. The bed was his only option and he wasn’t getting near one with her. He couldn’t trust his bear to stay calm.
“Let’s go outside and get some air,” he suggested.
“Okay,” she sniffed.
He grabbed a thick jacket from the closet and settled it around her shoulders. After leading her outside onto the back porch, he sat on the top of the stairs. She sat beside him and leaned into him. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders.
“Talk to me,” he said softly.
“You won’t understand.”
“I might.”
“You’re going to be pissed.”
“Maybe. Maybe not.”
“I’m sorry I lied.”
“What exactly did you lie about?” he asked.
“I’ve never run a bed and breakfast before.”
He chuckled. “I figured that out when I had to use the fire extinguisher.”
“Why didn’t you fire me?”
“I don’t know. There’s something about you that I’m drawn to.”
“Like a moth to a flame?”
“Something like that.” Was he about to get burned?
“I’m so embarrassed.”
“I’m sure you had a good reason to lie,” he said.
“I don’t know where to start.”
He pulled her closer and stroked her hair. “Start with why you really left Seattle.”
“I caught my fiancé in bed with my maid of honor.”
His breath whooshed out. “Damn.”
Chapter 6
“Yeah. Damn.” She still couldn’t get the images out of her head. The two people she loved most in the world, naked in a twist of writhing limbs. Her stomach rolled.
He lightly stroked her arm. “Then what happened?”
“I screamed at him and told her I hope she rots in hell. They were
just lying there with the sheets pulled up to their necks with this deer-in-headlights look that would have been comical in any other situation. I went downstairs and started throwing things. I broke three of his stupid businessman-of-the-year glass trophies along with every single picture of us together.”
“I can’t imagine how enraging that had to be.”
“I was mad at first. I drove around all night until I ran out of gas somewhere near the Canadian border. A nice trucker helped me out after listening to my hysterical ranting about my ex-fiancé.” Even now, rage welled up to wrap its violent fist around her heart. In the last month, she’d vacillated between anger and despair. Each day brought with it a new way to hate Ben.
Mack asked, “Why didn’t you tell me this before?”
“You never would have given me the job. What was I supposed to say? ‘Hi, I’m completely out of my league and borderline crazy because I caught my fiancé fucking my best friend?’” Her sarcasm held a hint of dark humor. If she hadn’t found a few moments of laughter about how ridiculous the situation was, she would have lost her mind weeks ago.
Mack turned to her and smiled. “Yeah, I can see how opening a job interview with that nugget would have been a problem.”
“Are you saying you wouldn’t have hired a crazy, jilted ex-bride?” she asked with a smirk.
“I don’t think you’re crazy.”
“Sometimes I’m not sure I can even get up in the morning.”
“You got up today.”
“And almost burned down the house,” she pointed out.
“Almost.”
She swallowed and stared out into the darkness. “I’m sorry I lied. I needed to get away from Seattle and all the people who looked at me with pity.”
“Maybe it wasn’t pity. Maybe they just care about you.”
She sniffed as fresh tears threatened to fall. Her chest tightened and each breath took more effort than the last. “I feel so alone.”