Just for Now: Escape to New Zealand Book Three

by Rosalind James

  “And there we are,” Rose said triumphantly at last. “There’s your baby.”

  Jenna stared at the screen. At that pulsing white spot. Her baby’s heart, beating strongly inside her. Her eyes filled with tears that spilled over, blurring her view.

  Rose smiled and handed her a handful of tissues. “A beautiful sight, isn’t it?”

  Jenna nodded, sobbed with the relief of it. “I can’t tell, though. Can you show me what you’re seeing?”

  “Head,” Rose pointed out. “Forehead, nose, see? And here are the torso and legs.”

  “You can’t tell the sex yet?”

  “Another six weeks or so. And then only if the baby cooperates. Sometimes they’re shy, keep you guessing.”

  “But everything looks all right?” Jenna asked anxiously.

  “Everything looks perfect,” Rose assured her. “And from this, I’d say our dates are spot on. Coming up on twelve weeks. You should be through the worst of that morning sickness any time now, feeling a bit better in general.”

  “I don’t care about that. I’m just . . .” Jenna fought back the tears that threatened to overwhelm her again. “I’m just so happy to see it.”

  “I’ll make you a disk, shall I?” Rose asked. “So you can take it home, look at it. Email a photo to your mum.”

  That wasn’t happening, but Jenna wasn’t going to explain. She’d be looking at those images every day, she knew.

  “And,” Rose said, helping Jenna sit and seating herself as well, “this would be a good time for me to ask about the baby’s dad. He isn’t here today, I notice.”

  “No. He’s traveling.”

  “And?” Rose prompted. “Does he know about your pregnancy?”

  “Not yet. I’m planning on telling him once he’s back.”

  “And when will that be? It’s hard to do this without support, you know. And I’m guessing you don’t have any family close by.”

  “No. No family.” Jenna swallowed the lump that rose in her throat. “He’ll be back in a few days. The baby’s dad, I mean. And I’ll tell him then.”

  “Meanwhile, what other support systems do you have?” Rose asked.

  “I have a couple friends.” That sounded pathetic. “I mean, in Auckland,” Jenna went on hastily. “I do have more than two friends. I haven’t mentioned it to them yet, either. But I will, soon.”

  “Do that,” Rose told her firmly. “This isn’t the time to be independent. You need to ask for help. And if the baby’s father doesn’t come through the way you’re hoping,” she added gently, “there are services for that as well. I can help get you started with it.”

  Jenna nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

  Rose handed her the disk she had made. “That’s it, then. Keep taking the vitamins, and take care that everything you do eat is nutritious. You’ve lost a few kilos, but that’s all right at this stage. Get your rest, get any help you can. And I’ll see you next month.”

  “And, Jenna,” she said as Jenna prepared to leave. “Good luck.”

  Chapter 31

  “Do you think you could take the kids next Tuesday, sometime?” Jenna asked Siobhan. They were sitting in the café celebrating the last day of school before the summer holidays. Her last day of freedom, Siobhan had joked.

  “Course,” Siobhan said. “When does Finn get back?”

  “Monday evening at six.” Jenna took a sip of her mint tea and nibbled at a digestive biscuit from the packet she carried in her purse all the time now. “But it’s such a long flight, Edinburgh to London, then home. More than twenty-four hours. He’ll be pretty jetlagged. I thought he could use a rest, that next day.”

  “Overexplaining,” Siobhan told her with a knowing smile. “Never mind. Declan and I like to take those ‘rests’ ourselves, when we can get them.”

  “What?” she asked at Jenna’s startled look. “Did you think I didn’t know?”

  “I . . .” Jenna couldn’t think of an answer. “How?”

  “Dunno. Could’ve been the shag rays coming off the pair of you every time you walked the kids to school together. Or the fact that you did walk the kids to school together. Or maybe the way you asked me to take them three times that last week he was here. Or . . .”

  “OK. Stop.” Jenna was laughing in spite of herself. “I get it. I just hope everyone else isn’t as sharp as you are.”

  “There may have been a bit of guessing. Gossiping,” Siobhan admitted. “But I didn’t say anything, no worries. Denied knowing anything about it. Which was the truth. You’ve been discreet, I’ll give you that. Why, though? What’s the secret?”

  “The kids. And, you know, the jokes. Shagging the nanny.” Jenna shuddered. “We decided to keep it quiet, till he gets back. Till I move out.”

  “Which is when?”

  “A week after he gets home.”

  “Which is all good, right?” Siobhan asked. “So why’re you looking like that?”

  “Like what?”

  “Like you’re about to be sick.”

  “Oh.” Siobhan’s eyes suddenly went wide, her mouth opening in shock. “Oh. That’s it. The penny’s dropped. Whoa.”

  “What?” Jenna faltered.

  “The mint tea. The bikkies. How green around the gills you’ve been.” Siobhan assessed her, eyes calculating. “Are you telling me he doesn’t know?”

  “Know what?” Jenna asked desperately.

  “Come on,” Siobhan said impatiently. “This is me you’re talking to. I’ve had two kids, and had my head in the toilet both times.”

  “Candied ginger, by the way,” she offered. “That’s the best. Think I lived on that, with Eth.”

  “All right,” Jenna capitulated as Siobhan continued to stare at her expectantly. “You’re right. I would’ve told you. It would have been a relief. But I didn’t think it was right for anyone else to know before Finn did.”

  “You’re worried about how he’ll react,” Siobhan guessed. “That’s why you’ve kept it to yourself.”

  “Yeah.” Jenna finished her tea, reached for her bag. “I figure we might need some time, when I do tell him. Pretty hard to have that conversation with the kids around. Or in the middle of the night.” She flushed. Too much information. “So, Tuesday?”

  “Tuesday,” Siobhan promised, clearly restraining herself with an effort from probing further. “Two o’clock do you? I’ll take them to the beach.”

  “Perfect,” Jenna said in relief. “Thank you so much. And I’ll be expecting the kids tomorrow night.” She followed Siobhan as the other woman made her way to the door.

  “If you still want them,” Siobhan said dubiously once they were outside again.

  “I need the distraction. Then we’ll watch that last ABs game on Sunday morning, and the next day he’ll be home. And I’m so nervous about the whole thing,” Jenna burst out. “Terrified.” It was a relief to say it at last. She rubbed her hands over her arms to calm the shakes that had come over her at the admission.

  Siobhan turned in the middle of the pavement to give her a comforting hug. “If he doesn’t want you, my love, he’s a bloody fool. And I don’t think Finn’s got where he is by being a fool.”

  Jenna repeated Siobhan’s words desperately to herself on Monday evening. The kids had been impossible all day, alternately wildly excited, squabbling, and bursting into tears. She’d felt like bursting into tears herself, more than once. Now they were fidgeting beside her, their eyes on the monitor above the big sliding doors in International Arrivals, waiting for the first sight of a black-clad figure.

  She smoothed a hand over her hair. She’d stood in front of the mirror for a full forty-five minutes earlier that afternoon, trying on and discarding outfits, looking for the perfect combination. Something that would conceal the little belly she was having a harder time disguising now, but that would still look good. And appeal to Finn, she admitted. She’d settled on a yellow tank with a floaty blouse over it, with skinny low-rise jeans whose waistband rode under her
bump. The jeans fit better than ever, thanks to her persistent morning sickness. And her pregnancy had emphasized her centerfold proportions, forcing her into the shops to buy new bras a few weeks ago. She knew that, at least, would have plenty of appeal for Finn.

  He wouldn’t be getting too close today, and after tomorrow, for better or worse, the truth would be out there. After that, she could wear whatever she wanted, could show off her belly instead of working so hard to hide it.

  “Sophie,” she said sharply now, pulling the little girl back to her again. “Stay with me. He’ll be here in a minute.” She took a deep breath, looked up at the monitor again. Took another sip of water to quell the nausea that rose in response to her tension.

  Come on, Finn, she begged silently. Come home.

  Finn stepped through the doors, his eyes searching the crowd. He registered the gathered supporters, ecstatic over yet another victorious Tour. As they surrounded the squad, eager hands thrusting out paper and pen, he shifted his duffel on his shoulder, shook hands, signed autographs, focusing as always on the kids, the rugby-mad boys who were his most fervent admirers.

  His eyes swept the crowd from the advantage of his height until he spotted Jenna at the back, restraining the kids while he did his duty. He watched her face light up as their gazes met, and a wave of emotion swept over him. He’d thought he’d realized how much he was missing her, but he hadn’t known the half of it. His kids, too, jumping up and down now, waving. He couldn’t stand here any longer. He scribbled his name a couple more times, smiled his thanks, and pushed through the crowd to them.

  “Crikey.” He dropped his duffel, lifted his son and daughter into his arms to kiss them. “You’ve both got bigger.”

  “What have you been feeding them?” he asked Jenna, smiling into her eyes. “Magic beans, I reckon.”

  “Nah, Dad,” Harry protested. “We don’t eat beans. We eat meat. And I had to get new shoes! My feet got bigger!”

  “Did they, now.” Finn set his children down, reached for his duffel again, then took a hand in each of his own. “Must be the meat, then.”

  “Good trip?” Jenna turned around to ask as she led the way out the doors. “We’re parked close by. In case you’re worn out. Especially after that exhibition you guys put on the other night.”

  “It’s a long flight,” he admitted. “No matter how well they look after us. Wish I could run home, and that’s the truth. Don’t fancy sitting again for a day or so, at least.”

  “We watched your game!” Harry exclaimed. “I watched almost all of it, Dad! I would have watched it all, but Ethan was there. And he’s little, you know. He can’t concentrate.”

  “I watched it all,” Sophie assured him. “Jenna too. She woke us up early to watch. You did great, Dad. Were you the tackle leader? They didn’t say.”

  “Nah.” He smiled down at her. “Second. Behind Drew, as usual. Made sixteen, though.”

  Jenna was quiet on the drive home, he noticed, seeming content to listen as the kids overflowed with questions and information.

  “You look good,” he said quietly as they stopped at a traffic light. “Buy some new clothes while I was gone?”

  “A few things.”

  “They suit you.” She looked beautiful, in fact. A bit thinner, maybe. But just as curvy as he remembered. The dull fatigue had lifted when he’d seen the three of them, and his heart felt light to be back again, the Range Rover traveling through the familiar streets, the tidy neighborhoods, green gardens filled with all the rioting blossom of a Southern Hemisphere December.

  “Who wants to take a walk to the top of Mt. Eden with me?” he asked as Jenna pulled the car to a stop outside the villa. “Soon as I drop this bag in my room and pop into the shower?”

  “Me! Me!” Harry and Sophie chimed in chorus.

  “Jenna?” he asked.

  “You go on,” she told him. “It’s almost seven-thirty already. I want to get dinner fixed. I know you must be hungry. I’m sure they didn’t feed you guys nearly enough on the plane.”

  “You’re right. Forty-five minutes, OK?”

  “Perfect.”

  It was after nine by the time they had eaten, and ten before the overexcited Harry and Sophie had finally settled in bed, Sophie succumbing to one final tearful outburst beforehand.

  “Geez,” Finn sighed as he came out of her room at last and sank onto the couch. “Has she been like that?”

  “All day,” Jenna sighed. “Both of them, actually. But especially Sophie.”

  “You must be worn thin.”

  “A bit,” she smiled. “It’s been a long day. Not as long as yours, though. Want a beer?”

  “You know I do. Don’t get up. I’ll go.”

  He came back in a minute with bottle in hand. “The Poms think they make good beer. But to my mind, it doesn’t compare to Mac’s.”

  “It’s all in what you’re used to, I suppose,” she said.

  He looked across the couch at her, sitting as usual with her feet tucked under her. “Still not drinking, eh.”

  “Nope. New leaf continues.”

  “Wouldn’t have said you needed reforming. Except in certain areas.” He grinned across at her. “I missed you.”

  “Me too.” She smiled back at him.

  He was just scooting across to join her when Harry appeared in the doorway, glasses askew, PJs rumpled.

  “I need a drink of water,” the boy complained. “I woke up and I was thirsty.”

  Jenna got to her feet on a long breath. “OK. Let’s go.”

  She came back into the lounge five minutes later. “Guess that was our cue to say goodnight. Because that might not be the last journey out of bed for them. Not going to work. The kids have a playdate tomorrow, though.”

  “A playdate, eh.” His eyes gleamed. “I’ll have to look forward to that, I reckon.”

  “Meanwhile.” He hauled himself up off the coach, where he felt like he’d taken root, and pulled her into his arms. “I’m not going to bed without kissing you. No matter who needs a drink of water.”

  He felt her wrap her arms around him to draw him closer, and deepened the kiss. It felt so good. And it had been so long. “Sure?” he murmured.

  “He’s going to be popping up again in five minutes,” Jenna sighed against him. “Or Sophie will have a bad dream. Tomorrow. Two o’clock.”

  “Two o’clock,” he said reluctantly, letting her go and watching as she went to the door. “Too long.”

  Chapter 32

  Jenna looked up from her book at the knock at the door. “Come in.”

  She set the paperback down with surprise as Finn came through the door and closed it softly behind him, his thumb flicking the lock shut. “What are you doing here? We just agreed about this.”

  He came to sit on the bed next to her. “I got to thinking about it. Only a week left till the end of our contract. We can end this tomorrow, if we want to.”

  “I don’t mean end it,” he said hastily, seeing her frown. “I mean, end the nanny thing. You can move out now. I’ll help you, if you need someplace to stay. We can go from living together to dating, out in the open.”

  He leaned over to kiss her, lingered there. “I’ve missed you so much. Couldn’t wait to be with you again, that’s the strength of it. I’m bloody tired. But I couldn’t sleep, thinking of you down here in bed without me, after I spent all these weeks alone.”

  “You had a roommate,” Jenna pointed out weakly, feeling her resolve evaporating.

  He laughed, pulled the duvet back to climb into bed with her. “Lackie’s not a bad young fella, but he isn’t quite in your class.”

  She sighed with pleasure at the feel of his hand stroking her hair back from her face, of his mouth on hers. Once would be all right. Just once, before she told him. She deserved that, didn’t she?

  Tell him now, the voice of reason said sternly. He needs to know. But her body was saying something else, drowning out that sensible voice.

  Finn wasn’
t rushing tonight, despite the long separation and the need she sensed in him, a need she felt just as strongly, pulling her toward him, into him. She pulled his T-shirt over his head, wanting to feel his skin against her hands, to memorize the look and feel of him. She’d forgotten so much. This curve, where the muscle rose from his neck along the top of his shoulders. The swell of his bicep under her palm as he propped himself on an elbow, the silky skin of his inner arm. His mouth, moving over hers, kissing her as if he’d missed this as much as she had.

  His hand moved down to stroke a breast, and she flinched involuntarily at the touch. He felt it, pulled back. “What’s wrong?”

  “They’re a little tender right now, that’s all,” she said apologetically. “Can you be really careful? And can we turn out the light? I’m feeling a little shy,” she tried to joke. “It’s been a long time.”

  He frowned, but moved to comply. “I’d rather see you. Course I will, though, if that’s what you want.” He came back to her, felt for the hem of her nightgown, pulled it over her head. “Where were we?”

  “You were kissing me,” she told him in the dark. “And it was feeling really good.”

  “I was, wasn’t I,” he agreed. “And I was touching you. Gently.” He went back to kissing her again, moved his hand carefully over her breast, keeping it soft. Then stroked down her side, over her abdomen. And froze.

  “What the hell.” His voice was strained now. He sat up, fumbled for the light again, turned it on. And stared down at her beneath him. At the fine lines of blue veins, always visible through the pale skin of her breasts, so much more prominent now. The nipples darker, breasts fuller than he remembered them. And that firm swelling below her navel, unmistakable under his hand and so obvious now that he couldn’t imagine how he’d missed it earlier in the evening.

  “How far gone are you?” he asked bluntly. “And why didn’t you tell me about this?”

  “You can tell?” she faltered.

  “Course I can tell,” he said impatiently. “I have two kids. How far gone?”