Lessons Learned (The Gifted Realm Book 2)

by Jillian Neal

  “Well,” Governor Haydenshire sighed. He glanced out the window that overlooked the mighty Potomac. “I just remember thinking that she’d finally realized what a huge mistake she’d made when she said she’d marry the likes of me, and that she’d finally come to her senses and was giving the ring back.”

  The truthfulness of his statement spoke volumes to Rainer. He was sitting in the office of one of the most powerful men in the world, an American Governor of the Gifted Realm.

  Mrs. Haydenshire hadn’t ever worked outside of their home, to Rainer’s knowledge. She’d birthed the Governor’s ten children, raised them, along with Rainer. She’d cared for them, nourished them physically and emotionally.

  She’d endured the Realm’s obsessive chatter about how many kids they had. She’d undergone scrutiny time and time again about her weight.

  All the while, she’d stood solidly by the Governor’s side with a smile as she gazed up at him that told the entire world that she could never love anyone more or be more proud of her husband.

  As Rainer listened to Governor Haydenshire’s story, he understood. Everything that the man had accomplished and done would never have happened, it would all have been null and void, had it not been for his wife. She held all of his cards, and he’d walk away from the plush office, and the power, and the position, in a heartbeat if she wasn’t happy.

  “She didn’t give the ring back,” Rainer stated knowingly.

  “No,” Governor Haydenshire drew a deep breath, “She didn’t. She was carrying this paper bag, and I didn’t know what to do.”

  “She showed up on my doorstep with tears running down her beautiful face. So, I wrapped my arms around her and eased her inside. I begged her to tell me what was wrong, what I could do to fix it.” He drew another steadying breath.

  “I, uh, had a futon that I think I got at a second-hand shop. So, I sat down and she, sort of, fell beside me. When she sat down, the bag opened, and I saw it.”

  “You see Rainer, that bag held the sum total of all I’d taken from her and all that I couldn’t give back. I won’t call it a mistake, but if I had it to do over I’d probably change the order of things just a little.”

  Rainer was thoroughly confused. He hoped the Governor would explain without him having to ask.

  “See, son, I wasn’t a Governor back then. Your dad and I were trying desperately to get the Realm to overturn the current Governing board. We tried to get them to see how we could do it so much better, but then I was nothing more than a lowly Senteon aide.”

  “I hardly made enough to feed myself, much less Lillian. And then I sat there and stared at a pregnancy test lying on my second-hand futon. Might’ve been why I was a little hard on you after your beach trip a few weeks ago,” the Governor allowed.

  Rainer’s mouth hung open. He’d known Will had been born almost nine months after the Haydenshires’ wedding, but he’d always assumed they’d conceived on their honeymoon.

  “Well, I think I’ll leave that very long conversation between my wife and me, between us, but two weeks later it was the night before the wedding. I was a disaster. I tried to be there for Lill, and assure her that I would take care of both of them, but I had no idea how I was going to do that.”

  “Our wedding was to take place at eleven the next morning. The night before, your old man, and Regis, and Arthur Vindico, and a few other guys who had been working with us to get us all elected, show up to take me out. I’d told Joe and Regis about Lillian, and they’d decided I needed a break from beating myself up, I suppose.

  “So, your dad thought maybe we should have a proper bachelor party and suggested we hit a few clubs down near where you were yesterday. Trust me, if you’d spilled the God-awful mixed drinks they were serving on one of the tables, it would’ve covered vastly more than any of the girls dancing that night were wearing.”

  “My dad took you to a strip club?” Rainer gasped.

  This made the Governor laugh heartily. “He did, and Joe would be telling you this story if he were here right now instead of me.”

  “Anyway, I spent the evening drowning my sorrows in liquor- infused paint thinner and watching women take their clothes off. I remember thinking that I was supposed to enjoy what we were doing, but I didn’t.”

  “It just wasn’t what I wanted to see. I think so often men go to places like that, hoping to find something fulfilling, but they actually end up with less of themselves.”

  “I kept drinking, and kept getting lap dances, because I thought I was supposed to, and I just kept feeling more and more disgusted with myself. The well tends to run very dry, very quickly, in places like that, Rainer.”

  “So, back to this debacle with my little girl. Think about what I just told you. I’d left my pregnant fiancée at her parents’ home, after our rehearsal dinner, the night before our wedding, to go out and see other women get undressed. I didn’t even have the ‘my boss made me go’ excuse. No, I went of my own accord.”

  “I feel certain that you remember Lillian being pregnant with the twins a few years ago, but let me reiterate that, when women are pregnant, they are extremely emotional.”

  “Not that I had any business doing what I was doing, but the fact that she could hardly zip up that wedding gown was entirely my fault. And I was out looking at other women, ones who weren’t carrying my baby, and who weren’t wearing my ring on their swollen fingers.”

  “It didn’t matter how many times I swore that none of them were as beautiful as she was, or how many times I told her that I hadn’t even enjoyed the evening. She was not going to believe a word I said.”

  “I did convince her to go on with the ceremony, but, Rainer, I slept on the floor, without even a blanket, of our honeymoon suite that her parents had paid for, on our wedding night.”

  “Well,” Rainer’s mind raced, “How did you get her to forgive you?”

  “Well, first let me say that Emily is the one who told me that Vindico sent you and that you went so Logan didn’t have to. So, see, she’s still coming to your defense, which is a lot more than Lillian was doing back then.”

  “Emily Anne was curled up on my kitchen window bench, staring out at the barn like it was going to collapse along with the rest of her world this morning because she let that red hair fly and told you she hated you. It wasn’t because you went to a strip club, or didn’t tell her about the lawsuit, or had a will arranged without her knowledge.”

  Rainer was stunned. He let that wash over him for a full minute before he could respond.

  “She has every right to hate me.”

  The Governor smiled kindly before he went back to his story. “I laid there on the floor, which in my opinion was generous on her part. I would’ve slept in the hallway or the truck if she’d asked. I just lay there and racked my brain as to how I’d done what I’d done. How I’d hurt her so badly in one night’s time.”

  “I got up off the floor and sat in this chair in the corner. I just watched her sleep. I remember sitting there and thinking that she was so strong, and I was so incredibly weak. I understood so much, in that moment, just watching over her.”

  “She was the strongest person I’d ever met, and I knew that I was the only person who could really hurt her, because I was the one she’d allowed to hold her heart.”

  “All of the moments from the time I’d asked her to go to that formal with me, right up until she walked down the aisle, no one else knew about those or felt those with her.”

  “I held everything, and I’d been so incredibly careless. I’m certain you’ve heard more of my father’s expressions over the years than you’d ever cared to, Rainer. So, if you’ll forgive me a moment, my dad used to say, ‘Stephen, either make hay or get the hell out of the way and let the Army get it done.’”

  Rainer was shocked to find himself laughing with the Governor.

  “Well, I didn’t want the Army anywhere near my wife and my baby, so I decided I’d better figure out how to be the husband that Lillian A
nderson deserved, because I wanted her to be proud to be Lillian Haydenshire.”

  “God knows I’ll never deserve that phenomenal woman, but I will never stop trying to be everything she needs. I watched over her while she slept all night long, in that gigantic bed that she did her best to take up most of, since she was damned and determined that I wasn’t getting anywhere near her.”

  The Governor laughed heartily over the memory. “Emily Anne gets her temper from her mother, but I’ll deny ever saying that.”

  Rainer was still chuckling as he nodded his understanding.

  “Sometimes, Rainer, our spouses need something to hold on to. Some symbol that we know we screwed up and that we swear we’ll never screw up like that ever again.”

  “They need to know that when the going gets tough, that we’re not going to keep things from them or end up at a strip club. Doesn’t have to be a physical thing, but something that reminds them that you’re in this with them and that, come hell or high water, you want to be wherever they are, fighting the tides right beside them.”

  “A gesture, if you will. Rebuilding Emily’s trust will take you making the right choices over and over and over again until she believes you, but something that makes her see that you plan on making those right choices from now on might go a long way. A marking in time that shows them that, from this moment on, you’re going to do better, and be better, and that you’ll never stop trying to be what they need you to be.”

  “Okay, I can do that.” Rainer wasn’t certain what he was going to do, but having some kind of plan was much better than the hollow emptiness he’d walked into the office with a few minutes before.

  The Governor nodded and gave Rainer a wry smile.

  “Nobody makes my baby girl smile like you do, Rainer, so I feel certain you can come up with some way to prove yourself.”

  “As for Lillian, I sat up all night long and just thought about what our life was going to be, and how I might be able to provide for her and show her that I was in this with her.”

  “I made a late-night phone call to your old man and borrowed several thousand dollars that he never would let me pay back. I figured out that if we checked out of that swanky chalet in the Poconos the next morning, that they would refund the rest of the week to us.”

  “I had her coffee ready and waiting for her when she woke up the next morning, and I made my plea. I told her that I didn’t need a honeymoon or anything else, that I had everything I would ever need glaring at me in the ugliest flannel nightgown I’d ever seen. She’d taken it from her grandmother’s home when she found out where I’d been the night before our wedding.”

  Rainer doubled over, laughing, and the Governor joined in.

  “I took her home and got rid of the futon and everything else in that apartment that she hated. I took her shopping. We got a crib, and a couch, and a real bed, with sheets and blankets that barely fit in that one room.”

  “We bought her that old pot and pan set that she has out in the storage barn now. She won’t ever let me give it away. It was the best we could do then, and she certainly has much nicer now, but you see, Rainer, that meant so much to her.”

  “I bought her a teapot she admired and all of the tea she wanted. Picked up a few quilts, a set of mixing bowls, the yellow ones on the counter at the house that she makes you kids those chocolate chip cookies in, and the other things she wanted that would allow her to make a home.”

  “And I made certain that she knew that I would be in that home with her every night and every day, right beside her. Then I bought a set of 50th anniversary champagne glasses. As I recall, the 50 is painted in olive green and they have a horrible gold rim, but I do intend to make a toast to her, here in about eighteen more years, and to drink out of those glasses. That’s why I bought them. I wanted her to know that I wasn’t going anywhere, and that in fifty years I was still going to be right there, right beside her, no matter what happens.”

  “Those are the ones in the china cabinet?” Rainer realized.

  Governor Haydenshire nodded. “Oh the top shelf, right in the center. It’s in front of our wedding china.”

  Rainer had always assumed those glasses had belonged to some distant relative, but he understood they were just as much a part of the present as they were the past, and the future.

  “Did, uh, she let you use the bed?” he wasn’t certain he should ask.

  Governor Haydenshire laughed, and nodded. “Yeah, I was allowed in the bed that night in our home with my wife and our little boy between us.”

  Rainer was anxious to leave. He wanted to get started right away. A million ideas swam in his head. He just needed to figure out which ones were perfect.

  “Before you go off and spend a fortune on my daughter, Rainer, a few more things. Remember that it doesn’t have to be a physical thing. Try to think about what she feels is missing in your relationship currently, and how you can show her that you won’t let things be missing any more.”

  “And I’d like to talk to you about Iodex and Dan Vindico, if I can have a few more minutes of your time.”

  “Oh, yes sir,” he settled back on the couch.

  “Rainer, I know that last week Dan told you and Logan about Amelia. That was certainly a horrible thing that happened to her and him alike. But, Dan has let that one horrible moment in time drive every decision he’s made since then.”

  “As much as he’s vowed never to let you or anyone else live the hell he’s been through, he is perfectly willing to use you to get what he wants. It will take a very, very special person to get Dan to see there’s more to his life than the vengeance that he seeks.”

  “And that would require Daniel actually allowing someone to get close to him again. I don’t hold out much hope for that, but, Rainer, Amelia isn’t here with us anymore. Emily is here, and you have a life outside of that office.” He threw his thumb back in the general direction of Iodex.

  “I know it makes a great deal of sense to you to end the danger that you see threatening Emily and to make that your top priority. So, let me ask you, son, if you hunt down Dominic Wretchkinsides, but lose her to your inattention somewhere in between, what will you have gained?”

  Rainer swallowed harshly as he gave a slight nod.

  “I wanted to tell Vindico all last week that I needed to be the one to pick her up from the stadium, and that I just can’t work endlessly every night like he does. I need to be home with her. We need to be in our home together.”

  The realization brushed the confusing webbing from his mind. He hadn’t known when to stand up to his boss, because he hadn’t been able to decide what was more important.

  “Smart man,” the Governor nodded, “Why don’t you let Mason and me speak with Dan, but if what you’re working on at five o’clock can wait until tomorrow, then I suggest you go and pick Emily up from the Arena and be her fiancée instead of just her Shield.”

  “Thank you, sir, for everything. Really!”

  Governor Haydenshire stood. The pride in his eyes had Rainer desperate to prove himself worthy once again, to the Governor and Emily.

  “Don’t get so caught up in making up with Emily that you forget that you’re supposed to be going somewhere with Garrett and Logan. I told Daniel that I really thought he’d worked his taskforce quite enough lately, and that I thought you could use a little time off. I suspect he took a little time to mean that he would allow you leave after lunch.”

  Rainer grinned and nodded. “Yes, sir.”

  “Well, go on and get whatever it is he has you chasing after today caught. Then the next time I see you and my baby girl, I wouldn’t mind a few more smiles.”

  “I’m working on it, sir. I promise.”

  To Right a Wrong

  He barely stopped moving as he flew by his desk to grab his badge. A moment later, he was on the parking deck. Garrett and Logan were leaned against the Highlander, engrossed in a tight-lipped conversation.

  “You ready?” Garrett ended their talk ab
ruptly.

  “Yeah, would you mind riding with Garrett? I want to leave as soon as Portwood and Ericcson show up,” he wasn’t playing anymore. He wasn’t going to try to pacify Vindico, and Logan, and everyone else. All of his desperation to keep everyone thinking that he could handle it all had done nothing but hurt the only person who mattered.

  “Uh, sure,” Logan shrugged. He looked mildly annoyed, but covered it well.

  “The ‘Stang is a little recognizable, Rainer.” Garrett eased, “Bring it, but we’ll have to park it several miles away.”

  Rainer leapt into the driver’s seat. He cranked the car and touched Fionna’s name on his new contacts list at the same moment.

  He found it mildly odd that he was calling one of the most famous Angels in the history of Summation, yet that didn’t seem strange at all.

  “Hey, Fionna, it’s Rainer Lawson.” He started as soon as she answered.

  “Uh, hey, Rainer. Is Em ok?”

  “No, not really, but I’m working on that. Would you mind telling me if you’re still planning on taking her out for coffee?”

  “Yeah, I’m headed out to the farm in just a few minutes. I thought I might see if some retail therapy might help, too.”

  “Thank you, that’s perfect. Could you help me with a surprise for her?”

  He followed Garrett to Aurora Highlands, one of the highest crime areas near Arlington. Garrett pulled the Highlander into a busy grocery store parking lot.

  Rainer emerged from the Mustang and set one of the shield casts Vindico had taught him. It was a specialized cast that used less of his energy to maintain, but was much stronger because it continually pulled energy from the air around the car.

  “The house is a few blocks that way,” Garrett pointed down an adjacent street. “The main thing about a stakeout is not to be noticed. You need to blend in with the surroundings.”

  Rainer climbed into the back of the Highlander as Garrett continued.

  “The next rule of a stakeout is to buy really good snacks, because the Senate is reimbursing you,” he joked as he pulled into a gas station parking lot. They each purchased several Dr. Peppers along with peanuts, Twizzlers, and Doritos.