Lessons Learned (The Gifted Realm Book 2)

by Jillian Neal

  Not certain that his body could contain the sheer amount of guilt he felt over what he’d done to Emily and the Haydenshires, Rainer now faced the fact that he may have just lost half of his father’s estate.

  Still feeling sick, he decided to turn in early, but Logan knocked on his and Emily’s door just as Rainer had pulled off his shirt.

  “Hey, I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to interrupt anything.”

  Rainer shrugged, “You didn’t.”

  “I was just wondering if you’d go grab something to eat with me. Maybe a beer, but just one.”

  Logan’s face was drawn and sullen. Terror swirled in his eyes, so, with a nod, Rainer pulled his shirt back on.

  “Yeah, sure,” he turned to Emily, “You’ll be okay?” He thought he should really stay with her, but she nodded sweetly.

  “I’ll be fine. You go.” Her eyes were still bloodshot and swollen, but her concern over Logan was evident through the pink that had cast the whites of her eyes.

  “Adeline says she’ll sit with you, if it’s all right,” Logan offered.

  “Of course it is.” She sat up in the bed and pulled her knees to her chest.

  Rainer moved back to her and kissed the top of her head. “I’ll be right back.”

  Emily swallowed back another onslaught of tears. Rainer grabbed his keys and wallet as Adeline scooted into the room. She gave Emily a sorrowful look.

  Emily patted a spot on the bed beside her, and Adeline smiled as she crawled under the covers with her. Rainer hoped that perhaps Adeline could get Emily’s mind off of everything.

  He drove to Lesco’s, and wondered which part of their horrific day had Logan so visibly shaken.

  They pulled into the parking lot, and Rainer exited the car to find several photographers and reporters, who had been following them in the hopes of getting Rainer to comment on the belly shot.

  He clenched his jaw shut tightly and ignored them. They both stared adamantly at the ground and refused to look up for the cameras. They tucked into a booth in the very back of the pub, out of sight of the photographers.

  Les made his way over to take their orders. “Somebody die or something?”

  Rainer leaned back in the booth and forced a smile, “Just a really bad day.”

  Les gestured to one of his waitresses, and told her to bring them two beers and to step on it. “Well, one good thing about a bad day,” he offered as Logan and Rainer turned to gaze into his wise eyes and his crinkled grin, “They have an end. Tomorrow you get a chance to make the next one better. Every time the sun comes up is another chance,” he gestured out the large windows of the restaurant.

  Rainer took in the star-strewn sky and the rolling Virginia landscape lit by the moon. He knew that his problems weren’t going to disappear with the sunrise. He took a sip of his beer, and longed for a moment when his torture would subside, even a little.

  “How about some cheeseburgers with all the fixings?” Les offered. “Very few things in this world that can’t be fixed with a really good burger, some fries, and a beer.”

  Neither Logan nor Rainer really cared what they ate. They were both just looking for a little solace.

  “That’d be great, Les. Thank you,” Logan offered humbly.

  As they ate, they sipped their beers slowly. They made them last throughout the entire meal.

  “So,” Logan sighed, “this is kind of a disaster.”

  Rainer was too exhausted to filter his sarcasm.“You think?”

  “Listen, Rainer, I owe you an apology,” Logan lost all sense of teasing.

  “Logan,” he was tired of other people trying to take responsibility for his mistakes.

  “No, I’m serious,” he shook his head. “Believe me. My handing you that drink when you asked for help definitely makes it onto the top-ten list of my biggest regrets. Unfortunately, at this point, it’s not even near the top.”

  Sighing, Rainer decided to allow that.

  “I can’t believe what I did to her. I can’t believe Em had to cast her. She should hate me. I swore to her the night I convinced her to marry me that I’d never let her down again. I’m sick over this,” Logan poured out his soul out onto the table in Lesco’s pub, and Rainer’s heart ached for his best friend.

  “I know just how you feel.”

  “Yeah, well, believe me; the only difference here is that no one was photographing my many indiscretions that night. I can’t believe I just let her keep drinking that shit, and now, I mean, she’s in a ton of photos. What if she gets sent to jail because I’m such a freaking idiot?”

  His pain seemed to steal his appetite. He threw down the burger, wiped his hands on a napkin, and then rubbed them over his face. He clenched his muscles as if bracing for battle.

  Logan stared into Rainer’s eyes for a long, drawn minute before dealing what he clearly felt was the lowest of all the blows. “Rainer,” he shook his head in abject disbelief, “I don’t even remember it. I don’t even remember having sex with the woman I told, not one week ago, that I would always take care of her and that I would never let her down again.”

  “I know, Logan, but I mean, it was you and Adeline. It’s not like it was your first time. I know you better than anybody, and I know that you might not remember it, but you wouldn’t do anything she wouldn’t have wanted you to do. It’s just not in you.” Rainer willed Logan to believe what he was saying.

  Logan didn’t look so certain. “Yeah, maybe. But she deserves to be treated a little better than all that, don’t you think?”

  This particular anguish Rainer knew only too well. He also knew just what it must have cost Logan to admit everything he’d just shared.

  “Yeah, well, I stuck my hands up your sister’s skirt in front of hundreds of people I don’t know as they cheered me on. And now there are pictures of her stomach laid out on a bar with my tongue all over her, so…” stating it out loud did nothing to help his conscience.

  “The thing is,” Logan’s voice rose slightly, “she’s not even mad. I mean, she should be mad at me, but she just keeps apologizing for drinking so much. I was right there. I should have stopped her.” He was visibly disgusted with himself.

  After eating in silence for a few minutes, Rainer sighed, “Yeah, well, I’m really good with us all avoiding partying after Em’s games for a while.”

  Adults

  When they returned home, Rainer noted that his and Emily’s bedroom door was still closed. He hoped he wasn’t interrupting anything as he knocked.

  “Come in!” Emily sounded much more herself. They pushed the door open, and found the girls on the bed with bridal magazines surrounding them.

  Rainer raised his eyebrows. “Do we need to sleep on the couch?”

  Emily laughed, though her pain was still evident in her eyes. She shook her head. The girls stood and threw their arms around each other.

  “I promise I’ll do a really good job,” Adeline vowed.

  “And you promise you’ll still love me even if I drag you to every bridal salon along the Eastern seaboard every weekend, and even if I go all bridezilla on you, and you’ll help me get ready, and not let all of my stupid brothers do anything too horrible?”

  Rainer‘s brow furrowed.

  They watched as Adeline began bouncing up and down. “Yes, yes, yes.”

  “Okay,” Emily beamed at her.

  A few minutes later, Logan was dragging Adeline to bed and stating that he needed the day to be over.

  “I take it Adeline is now a bridesmaid?” Rainer smiled at Emily adoringly, but she shook her head.

  “Adeline is my maid of honor.”

  “Wow, that was awfully nice of you.” She and Adeline had really only been friends since Adeline started dating Logan, but as Rainer thought about it, with Emily’s class schedule, graduating a year early, and the sheer amount of time he took up in her life, Adeline was probably her closest girlfriend.

  “Well, she’s one of my favorite people ever, and I decided that, although I wou
ld thoroughly enjoy watching Samantha Peterson’s face as I marry you right under her nose, that vengeance isn’t what I’m going for with our wedding. So, I decided against her as my maid of honor.”

  Thrilled that her mood had improved, Rainer laughed. He pulled off his clothes and slid into bed with Emily.

  That’s my little girl you’re sliding into bed with every night, even though you’re not married. Governor Haydenshire’s words seared through his mind.

  “Em?”

  She studied him. Her soothing Receiver’s cast began to work its way through his skin. She could feel his trepidation. Rainer shuddered from the heavenly sensation of her energy flooding his body.

  “I want to get married soon, okay? And I know it takes a while to plan everything or whatever, but I don’t want to wait. I want you to be my wife, and I want to be your husband.”

  Emily nodded, “Yeah me, too.”

  They shared a long gaze. Rainer knew that she understood his deep desire. She shared his need to bind them together legally and spiritually as much as they were bound in their hearts and minds.

  “Are you sure you still want to marry me?” she choked.

  Rainer leaned away from her so he could look into her eyes. “Em?” He brushed her hair away from her face. It was still damp from her tears. “How could you ever think I wouldn’t want to marry you?”

  “I don’t know. I mean, this is all my fault. I ruined your reputation and your family’s name. I got you in trouble with Dad and Vindico. I might’ve even lost half of your inheritance, and I just can’t tell you how sorry I am.” Her breath shuddered as her tears returned.

  “I don’t think all is lost, baby. I know you’re sorry, and I hate that we got caught up in all of that. We both knew better, but I swear to you I will fix this. I will make it so your dad will look me in the eye again. I promise you.”

  “Let’s fix it together.”

  He felt more of her energy as she strengthened her hold, and he knew that was how it needed to be from now until the end of time. If anything went wrong, they needed to fix it together. It was the only way their world had ever worked.

  He hugged her tightly to him and let his energy flood into her. He wrapped her up in his protective shield. He cossetted her in his guarding energies, and shut down the restless worries of her mind.

  He felt it. He felt the desire that had been so oddly gone from him for most of the day. It returned suddenly. It coursed through his veins as he let his energy envelope her.

  It was different, but when he concentrated, he could feel hers as well. The driving need he felt when he was with her, the desire for release, and to be with her. They were all there, but somehow they were very different.

  He thought back over the past few days and then the past few weeks. He’d been careless, stupid, and cocky. He hadn’t taken care of her. He’d taken care of his needs and of her wishes, but it had ultimately been selfish on both of their parts.

  Fingering her under a table at a restaurant in New York was stupid and reckless. He forced his mind to sum everything up. He knew he’d let his arrogant desires drive him. He’d wanted to do it right under the nose of the press. He’d wanted to make her feel it. He’d wanted to add that to his repertoire. He could make her come when she’d been terrified, in a restaurant full of people.

  His stomach churned as he lambasted himself. She’d wanted so badly to be a part of everything the Angels did. She was terrified of being left out. So, she’d let her brother and Chloe Sawyer talk her into doing something she’d never willingly have done, and he’d allowed it.

  He finally forced himself to admit the whole truth. He hadn’t put up too much of a fight, because he didn’t mind people seeing him claim her and seeing what he could do to her.

  He’d taken the most precious gift he’d ever been given and flaunted it for a cheap tawdry show, for people he didn’t give a damn about.

  Bitter regret seized him as he held Emily tightly. He clung to the only thing in his world that felt right as he allowed her to soothe him, but the desire was still there.

  He wanted to be with her, but not for release or because it felt so damn good. He wanted to join their energies. He desperately needed to make her one with him, because he’d gotten so lost in it all. He’d let them be swept away in the heartless world around them, and he wanted her to be able to drown the hurt and the regret in him.

  He wanted to take it all away. He needed to show her that he’d always be a rock for her to cling to, and that he would never sell them out again.

  He would be steadfast. He would never do another thing that would make her father doubt his love for Emily, or make her feel like she was drifting out to sea. He would be her anchor from now until the end of time.

  He raised his head and brushed sweet, hesitant kisses on her lips. If she would allow him, he wanted desperately to show her how much she meant to him, and that their physical relationship was for the two of them alone. No one else would ever get even a small part of it ever again.

  “You are everything to me, Em.” He kissed her again. This one was a ragged, desperate kiss that came from his soul more than his lips. “And I’m just so, so sorry for the way I’ve been for the past few weeks. I cannot believe I sold you out Saturday night, but, baby, I swear to you, if you’ll give me a chance, I will show you that I will never ever do that again.”

  “I know, and you didn’t.” She kissed him again. “I think we kind of thought we were all grown up, and we were really just still stupid kids.”

  He couldn’t have agreed more. “I just need you to know what we do when we’re alone together with nothing between us, when I’m inside of you, baby, there is nothing in the world that means more to me than that. And I don’t ever want anyone else to be a part of that.”

  “I think the photographers are always going to be there, and the whole freaking Realm seems to want a part of us, so we’re gonna have to work that much harder to make absolutely certain that no one gets to make a claim on us. The cameras can take pictures of us holding hands to their hearts’ content, but nothing else.”

  Relief flooded through her rhythms as she nodded.

  “This,” he gestured to her body beside his own, “is just for us.” He watched as solace and love colored her features.

  “Thank you,” her voice caught as she shuddered. “You are the most amazing man in the world, and I could never ever love you more.” They both tried to blink back tears.

  “Will you let me show you, baby? I’ll stop if you want. You just say the word, but I want to be with you, Em. I want to feel you surround me, and I want you to feel me inside of you, baby. I want to be with you. I want everything else to go away except for you and me.”

  “Please, Rainer,” she whispered in the darkness, “Please.”

  He felt her body begin to entwine in his. “I just don’t want to think anymore. I just want to feel you. I want you to take it all away, please. I want to show you that I know how important it is. I won’t mess it up again.”

  He didn’t have enough strength to try to make her wait or to argue with her reasoning. She wanted him to take away the pain he’d caused, and there was nothing he wanted more than that.

  He edged the t-shirt she was wearing off of her. Desperate desire to have her skin next to his surged through him.

  He wanted to show her, to reassure her, to settle every fear, to silence every regret that lay coiled in the recesses of her mind. He wanted to drown every qualm in the energy he surrounded her with. She fumbled with his boxers, but he caught her hands.

  “Shh, baby, just lay back. Let me take care of you.” Though he’d said this to her before, the vow had never resonated in his soul quite the way it did as he pulled off the sweatpants she was wearing. He let his hands trace up her legs, and she shook.

  “Close your eyes, baby. Just let me make it all go away.” His voice was low and reverent in his deep desire to make up for all he’d done.

  She obeyed, and he pulsed
against her. A soft, tender moan escaped her. “I’m gonna set the cast.” He would take care of her always in every possible way she could ever need him too.

  He would not only be a devoted and caring husband, he would do everything in his power to guard her, and he would be a consummate lover. He vowed to himself that he would be everything for her. It would be his life’s mission.

  He summoned and breathed in her scent, reveled in her touch, in the way her skin felt as he traced her abdomen, and she allowed him in. She allowed him to close her off. And that was something he’d never take for granted again.

  As soon as he made certain she was settled after he set the cast, he slowly revealed her all for himself. He slid her panties down her thighs. She was swollen and wet. The tender heat made him ache.

  He longed to be inside her, but he wasn’t playing fast and loose with her, or with them, ever again. As he slipped the lacy underwear off of her feet, he traced his hands back up to her fevered, swollen lips. She held his gaze. Her eyes beseeched him as a whispered moan escaped her.

  “I want to touch you, baby. I want you to feel me. I want you to feel how much I love you. Feel what this means to me.”

  “Please,” she began to writhe under his gentle caress. He traced over the soft red curls, wet from need. Her breath stuttered in heated anticipation. He concentrated, and felt her energy as it flooded into him through his hands.

  He’d calmed her worries, and she was going to allow him to allay the pain and soothe her. He slipped his fingers inside of her. He felt her begin to join with him. He leaned in and kissed her deeply, passionately as he massaged her. With a soft touch, he traced up over her clit with his thumb and then moved away. He let it build. He had quite a bit to make up for, and he wanted to take it all.

  If it took him all night long, he wanted to give her relief from the pain and grief the harrowing pictures had caused. He forced them out of his mind, and concentrated on nothing but her. Her body trembled and rolled for him.