Guarded Desire

by Christi Snow

  I strode back to where I’d left Dillon. Now, Jonah and the beautiful woman stood with him. My heart twisted at the sight of them together. They would make beautiful babies.

  I slid between Jonah and Dillon, inserting myself into the conversation. “Sorry about that,” I said to Dillon. “I had to go take care of that issue.” I waved vaguely behind me.

  I turned a bright smile to Jonah and his date, barely looking at him because I couldn’t catch a deep breath. I hadn’t planned on seeing him tonight, and I sure hadn’t been prepared to see another woman on his arm.

  I reached out my hand to her. “I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Elle Wilcox.”

  Her hand was really surprisingly calloused when she shook my hand, but her smile was warm and welcoming. “It’s so nice to meet you. I’m Tessa Snyder.”

  “Tessa is—” Jonah began, but then he grabbed his ringing cell phone and winced. “Sorry. I have to take this.” He directed his gaze to Dillon. “It’s Nate.”

  “Thank god, but do you want me to take it?” Dillon asked, the relief obvious in his voice.

  Jonah shook his head. “No, I don’t want you to miss any of Trace’s performance.”

  As he said that, the lights flashed, signaling that we needed to return to our seats.

  Jonah cursed under his breath. “I’d like to speak with you, Elle, but—” His phone buzzed again.

  I shook my head. “Go. I’ll be back in New Mexico tomorrow. We can catch up sometime in the next week.”

  He didn’t look happy about it, but he nodded, lifted the phone to his ear, and rushed out of the lobby.

  I turned back to Dillon. “I texted Trace that you’re here. Don’t let him down. Be at the back door after the show. One of the stage hands will let you in.”

  Dillon’s face broke out in a huge smile. “Thank you,” he murmured.

  I smiled at the two of them. “It was so nice to meet you, Tessa. I hope you both enjoy the rest of the show. Tell Jonah I said ‘have a good night.”

  Then I slipped away and tried to enjoy the rest of the show. After seeing Jonah with Tessa, I wasn’t in a place to celebrate Trace’s amazing night with him. Besides, I had a feeling that Dillon and he would be making the most of their reunion. So I sent him an amazing job text and told him to have fun with Dillon and I’d catch up with him in a couple of days after he had time to recover from the excitement of it all.

  Then, I headed to my hotel. My flight in the morning would be leaving way too early. I needed to try to get some sleep first.

  IT WAS STILL DARK THE next morning when my flight landed in Albuquerque. After zero sleep, I was ready to get back to my apartment and then fall into my bed.

  Inside my apartment building, I gave a half-hearted wave to Jennifer, manning the security desk, but I didn’t stop to speak to her. Getting to my bed was my whole focus.

  I exited the elevator and stumbled to my door, trying not to think about the countless times I’d come through this door, laughing with Jonah. He’d moved on, and I had to live with that.

  It would hurt, but I could deal. I would deal.

  When the door opened, I closed my eyes in relief as the smell of coffee filled my nostrils. I needed coffee in the worst way. I stumbled to a halt as I came around the corner of my kitchen, and understood why I smelled fresh coffee. A half-naked Jonah stood there, nonchalantly sipping from a mug as he looked at me with raised eyebrows.

  My throat went dry as my gaze tracked down his body. He only wore black boxer briefs and every line and muscle on his tanned body stood in stark relief to the thin fabric. I soaked him in, wanting to lick and touch, aching to simply touch him again. Were his muscles even more defined now than they had been before?

  He pulled the mug away from his mouth. “Well, if it isn’t the prodigal daughter.”

  Not exactly the reaction I’d been expecting. “Um, sorry, but what?” And what was he doing in my apartment?

  He shrugged, and all those beautiful muscles flexed.

  Damn. I tried to get my brain function to work. Lack of sleep and caffeine were working against me.

  “I’m just surprised to see you is all,” he said. “I wasn’t sure if you were ever coming back since I haven’t heard from you in months.” He sounded hurt.

  I’d sent him letters once a week but knew that wasn’t the same as actually talking. The first one, I’d asked for space, and he’d given it to me by never responding.

  I hated that I’d hurt him and needed to make that up to him, even if he’d moved on with his life. I needed to do it for me.

  With a frown, I glanced around the room. His duffel bag sat just inside the door. There were a couple of dishes in the sink, his hiking boots by the front door. “Are you...” I tilted my head at him. “Are you still living here?”

  He nodded like of course he was. Why wouldn’t he be? “You said I could stay as long as I wanted. I didn’t want to leave. Hell, I didn’t want you to leave, either.”

  My breath caught, and I wanted to read so much into that. But I’d seen him last night...with the beautiful Tessa.

  “Did you have fun last night?” I asked. “Wasn’t Trace incredible?”

  He studied me for a moment, but then he nodded. “I didn’t get to see the rest after intermission as I had to come back here to respond to a security issue, but from what I saw, he has a long career on Broadway in front of him.”

  I nodded. On the airplane, I’d checked the reviews. Almost entirely across the board, they’d loved him. “I’m so excited for him, although I know it’s been hard for him to be so far from Dillon for so long.”

  “Has it really?” he asked. “Has it been hard for you?”

  I met his gaze. “I haven’t missed Dillon as much as I’ve missed you.”

  He took half a step toward me, but then stilled. “You made the choice to leave,” he said softly, although the reproach in his voice rang through.

  “You’re right. I did, and it was the right choice.”

  His face fell, and he took a step back.

  But this time, I stepped toward him. “I needed the time to figure some things out. I love you, but I couldn’t be what you needed me to be until I figured out who I was first.”

  His hand clenched into a fist as if he was fighting the urge to reach for me. “And did you figure that out?”

  I nodded and swallowed the nerves, trying to work their way up my throat. “I’m still a work in progress, but yeah, I think I’m close enough.”

  “Close enough to what?”

  “To knowing that I can stand up on my own. To knowing that I love you, but I’m not defined or controlled by that love. To knowing that I don’t have to have you in my life, but god, I want you there so damn bad.” And to knowing that I might be on the verge of getting my heart crushed, depending on how serious things were between him and Tessa. I hoped, though, that I still had a chance to win him back.

  This time, he didn’t hold back. He stepped over to me and wrapped his arms around me.

  My eyes filled with tears. Please let this mean he still loves me.

  “Thank fuck. It’s about time.” His voice cracked. “I love you and have missed you so much.”

  My eyes overflowed as relief, joy, and love swamped me.

  He kissed me, and all the pain of the last three months disappeared. This was where I was meant to be. He was my home. Yes, I’d proven that I could live without him, but I didn’t want to. Not anymore. Not if I could be with him like this.

  He pulled away. “So, you’re back to stay?”

  I nodded, but then stilled. “I’m here at least until I finish school, but what about Tessa?”

  He frowned at me. “What about Tessa? She’s finishing out her job in New York and then will be moving here.” He tilted his head at me. “But she has nothing to do with you and me. She’s our new associate at New Mexico Protectors. She’s our firearms expert and trainer.”

  “Oh.” My eyes widened. “So, she wasn’t your date last night
?”

  “No! I’m head over heels in love with a saucy humanitarian. I wouldn’t date someone else when you hold my heart.”

  I laid my head on his shoulder. Everything settled into place. This felt right. “Thank you,” I whispered.

  He threaded his fingers through the back of my hair. “No, thank you for coming back.” He kissed me, channeling his love through the passionate touch.

  Despite my exhaustion, my body came alive. “You know,” I said. “I haven’t been to sleep since I ran into someone very distracting last night. What do you think? Is my bed still in the same place?”

  “It sure is. It’s up there waiting for you, but only if I’m allowed to join you.”

  “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

  Then he tugged me up the stairs, coffee forgotten.

  Our lives wouldn’t be easy. I planned to travel a lot with EDAC, and he had New Mexico Protectors to run. But for the first time in three months, I felt like I could breathe freely again. We were going to work out.

  Epilogue

  Two years later

  Jonah

  I snuck into the back of the press corps room at the United Nations beside Dillon. “I didn’t think you were going to make it,” Dillon hissed under his breath.

  “I almost didn’t. We were the last plane to take off from Paris,” I whispered back. The freak snowstorm had almost ruined all of this.

  Up at the podium, Elle was holding court with the world’s leaders and press corps. My heart swelled with pride, just like it did every time I saw her in her element. Two years ago, I’d thought we were over, but she’d taken three months to find herself in the chaos that had been her life. Since then, she’d had a poise and self-assurance like she’d never had before, and even more amazing, she hadn’t had a panic attack since.

  I glanced around the crowded room. If I had to speak in front of groups like this, I would be in a corner hyperventilating. My girl was pretty amazing.

  She’d needed those three months to prove something to herself. While I’d resented it at the time, I could look back on it now and see that she’d been right in taking it.

  The spring after that break, she’d graduated from college and went to work for EDAC, where she’d become a human rights voice that people sat up and listened to.

  If she hadn’t taken that time, I don’t think she would have learned how to handle the publicity she now generated on a daily basis for the people living in poverty throughout the world. She’d learned that invoking her mother’s name to get the right people to listen to her wasn’t a bad thing. She’d learned how to handle the press like a pro. She’d learned how to reach out to others who had more expertise than her and find the right help for the right place.

  My girl was a powerhouse, and tonight, I hoped to get her to agree to become my wife.

  Because the paparazzi still had a fascination with the two of us, there were always one or two questions of a personal nature about us at this type of thing. Yes, even here at the United Nations.

  Tonight, I planned to take advantage of that.

  “Are you ready?” Dillon asked.

  “I was ready two years ago.”

  Luckily, New Mexico Protectors handled all her security throughout the world, so she wouldn’t question any of our presence here. And my whole team was here to support me and my quest to make her my wife...along with a couple of reporters that I’d planted within the press.

  She’d begun to take questions, and I wiped my hands on my jeans. This was it.

  A reporter asked, “Ms. Wilcox, rumors have run rampant that while you’re in Europe, you and Jonah Sutton plan to get married in Paris. Do you have anything to say about that?”

  She laughed just like she did every time someone asked a question like that. “Well, since he hasn’t asked me yet, I’m thinking that’s probably not going to happen this trip.”

  She took a couple more questions about the UN initiative, answering like the pro she was before she motioned to another one of my planted reporters.

  “If he asked you, would you be open to a quick wedding?”

  She gave him a small puzzled smile and a quick shake of her head. “I wouldn’t ever answer a question like that based on conjecture. Unfortunately, my boyfriend is working in New York this week, so I can pretty much guarantee that won’t happen.”

  My team stepped aside in a wave of noise that drew everyone’s attention. I took a deep breath and wiped my sweaty palms down my pants. “But what if he was here and had a question to ask?” I asked her.

  “Jonah?” Her voice shook.

  We hadn’t seen one another in almost two weeks because of our clashing schedules. I had also been trying to get everything set up in New Mexico so I could leave for Paris, and we could get married. At least, that was the plan if she said yes.

  I smiled at her. “You didn’t answer my question.”

  Her eyes glimmered. “I think that’s because you asked the wrong one.”

  My girl was quick.

  I dropped to one knee, and everyone in the room gasped. Her gasp rang out the loudest, because she stood in front of the bank of microphones.

  I smiled at her, my heart filled with so much emotion, but at the forefront of it all was my unending love and passion for this incredible woman. “Elle Wilcox, I love you with all my heart and want to have the privilege of claiming you as my wife. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

  Tears streamed down her face, and she nodded. “Yes!” She stepped off the podium and dashed over to me.

  I stood and swept her up in my arms. Right where she belonged. Always.

  “You know,” she whispered in my ear. “You just guaranteed that our wedding is going to be a circus.”

  I leaned back and winked at her. “Darling, I learned a long time ago to embrace the chaos. Besides, you’re the best ring master around. We got this!”

  THE END

  THANK YOU...

  Thank you for reading Guarded Desire. This is the first book in a new series, the NM Protectors. All of these books will be set on the New Mexico Tech University campus. The next book, Photo Op Serendipity, features Officer Nate Bromley (who you met in this book...he worked at the gym) and a college coed who has a side hustle as a model for romance book covers.

  Would you like to receive a FREE book and find out when I release my next book? You can sign up for my newsletter e-mail list at www.christi-snow.com.

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  Please, please, please...reviews keep authors alive and caffeinated. Please consider leaving a review if you read this book.

  Reviews help other readers find new books. I appreciate all reviews, whether positive or negative. Thank you for taking the time to give feedback.

  If you liked this book, I have several other books in different genres available and coming soon.

  NM Protectors (new adult romantic suspense) Guarded Desire (Book #1)

  Photo Op Serendipity (Book #2...TBD)

  When the Mission Ends series (contemporary romantic suspense) Operation: Endgame (Book #1)

  Operation: Endeavor (Book #2)

  Before the Mission Begins (Novella #2.5)

  Operation: Endurance (Book #3)

  When Love Intrudes (Book #4)

  When Love Comes Back (Book #5)

  When Love Surprises (Book #6...Summer, 2018)...m/m

  Men of Snowcroft series (contemporary m/m romantic suspense) Snowcroft Lost (Book #1)

  Snowcroft Safehouse (Book #2)

  Intertwined Hearts (Book #3)...m/m/f

  Snowcroft Restoration (Book #4)

  Book #5 (early 2019)

  The Martin Ranch series (contemporary romantic suspense) Right By Your Side (Book #1)

  Male Model Chronicles (contemporary romance) Justin (Book #1)

  Lance (Book #2

  Joshua (Book #3)

  Found Series (m/
m contemporary romance) Found At the Library (Book #1)

  Found At the Bookstore (Book #2)

  Found At the Jazz Club (Book #3)...m/f

  Found at the Rock Concert (Book #4...Fall, 2018)

  Through the Veil series (paranormal dystopian) Through the Veil (Book #1)

  Allied In Flight (Book #2)

  Rejecting Destiny (Book #3)

  Stand-Alone (m/m contemporary romance) Believe in the Wish

  Texas Paranormals (m/m paranormal novellas) Smolder (novella #1) in the Children of the Night Anthology

  Shiver (novella #2)

  Writing as ½ of KB Jacobs:

  Naked Brews series (m/f new adult romance) Deliciously Smooth (Book #1)

  Deliciously Thick (Book #2)

  Deliciously Bitter (Book #3)

  About the Author:

  AS AN AVID READER HER entire life, Christi Snow always dreamed of writing books that brought to others the kind of joy she felt when she read. But...she never did anything about it besides jot down a few ideas and sparse scenes.

  When her husband retired from the Air Force, Christi decided it was time to chase her dream and she started writing. She hasn’t stopped since. With twenty-eight published books in various romance genres, she’s found her passion. Now she spends her days with her laptop writing about sexy, alpha heroes and the loves of their lives.

  Writing both as Christi Snow and one-half of the writing duo, KB Jacobs, Christi has fulfilled her dream... filling the world with more romance and suspense.

  Her tagline is... Passion and adventure on the road to Happily Ever After. She loves this adventure and has truly found her tribe!

  www.Christi-Snow.com

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