Secret Love (The 4Ever Series Book 2)

by Isabella White

  She shrugged. Then who the hell sent the flowers? She didn’t know when his birthday was, either. “Guess we had other things on our minds back then,” she said.

  Jake laughed, raising his eyebrows once, knowing exactly what was on his mind back then.

  The bartender filled two shot glasses with the same purple liquid. Holly grabbed one, and Jake the other. “To getting older,” he toasted.

  “And hopefully wiser,” she added.

  Laughing, they downed their shots. The strong liquid burned its way down to her stomach. Jake never so much as flinched. He threw a couple of dollar bills onto the counter, for which the bartender thanked him.

  Smiling, he bent over the bar to speak to the bartender. Holly didn’t know if she should just turn around and attempt to find the others who were somewhere on the dance floor, or if she should just stay right where she was.

  “So, how old are you?” he asked.

  “How on earth do you not know that? Twenty-eight.”

  “Two more years and you’ll hit the big three-oh.”

  He ignored her first remark. Had she meant that little to him that he’d never even known how old she was?

  “It sounds ancient,” Holly said.

  “You only start to live around thirty, Holly.”

  “Somehow, I doubt that.”

  The bartender put a drink on the rocks in front of Jake. Holly remembered that Jake loved beer and occasionally a Jack Daniels or Chivas on the rocks. Whether they were still his drinks of choice, she didn’t know. Holly took a sip from her light beer.

  Jake sipped his, too, but ended up downing it in one big gulp. She watched him put his glass on the counter. He gestured with his hand when the bartender asked if he wanted another one. Turning slightly, he took a step closer and stared into Holly’s eyes. He was so close she could smell his cologne. Her head started to spin from his scent. She’d missed the way he smelled, she’d missed everything about him, especially being this close to him.

  “I guess this is me wishing you a wonderful birthday. I hope there will be many more, Holly Scallanger, and that they are filled with excitement, happiness, and lots of love.”

  Her throat closed up because Jake had whispered his wish in her ear. Her skin tingled. Jake… talking about love and happiness. Then, he did the unexpected. Cupping her face gently with both hands, he lowered his head to hers and kissed the top of her head softly. His lips felt as if they were scorching her scalp. That was how much she’d missed those lips on her. The sensation of feeling that again burned her.

  The warmth and softness of his lips lingered for a few seconds longer, then it disappeared. Jake smiled at her, turned around, then started walking away. Holly couldn’t help but watch him disappear through the crowd gyrating on the dance floor. She hated watching him leave. Turning to the bar, she put her elbows on the counter, and dropped her head into her hands.

  “What the hell is wrong with you?” She heard the bartender say. When she looked up, the girl had further to say. “If someone like that kissed me on the head, I wouldn’t be sitting here.”

  Holly giggled. “It was just an innocent birthday kiss.”

  “Honey, I’m always surrounded by couples, and guys trying to pick up girls. Girls throwing themselves at guys. You name it, I’ve seen it. But if that Greek god came over to me and melted while giving me ‘just an innocent birthday kiss,’” she finger quoted, “I would grab him right then and there and kiss the living shit out of him.”

  “Melted?”

  “You didn’t see what I saw. He didn’t want that kiss to end.”

  Shit, that meant her mother was right. He wasn’t done with her yet. Holly gnawed on her bottom lip, trying to picture what the bartender had seen.

  “It’s not too late. There is only one way out of this club. You can still catch him before he leaves.”

  Holly didn’t have to ask, For what? She knew the answer. Heaven knew she wanted him back, but what about his little boy and fiancée?

  Her legs did the walking, while her mind tried to rationally think things through. What if she jumped him and he didn’t do anything, or worse, what if he stopped her? She would never be able to look at him again, knowing he’d rejected her a second time. Still, her feet didn’t plan to stop. She walked faster toward the stairs, just in time to catch a glimpse of his black leather jacket. He was a couple feet away from the stairs. She hastened her steps, squeezing between a few more people. He turned back to look at the bar, to where she’d been a couple of minutes ago, but his gaze didn’t linger.

  Squeezing past two men, she ran up the first couple of steps, her path blocked by a blonde bimbo standing between herself and Jake. She slipped her hand past and around the girl, as her heart raced faster in her chest. As soon as her fingers touched his, electricity sparked as it ran up and down her entire body.

  Jake stopped, turned his head, and looked down at her. She bit the corner of her lower lip. She had no idea what she wanted to say. She felt stupid. She should have given this more thought.

  His grip tightened around her hand, and she knew it wasn’t the rejection she’d feared. He tugged on her hand, pulling her toward the back of the club.

  In that moment, she didn’t give a shit about Kate anymore, or about his son. Hell, she had a five-year-old who was his kid, too. What about her?

  Holly followed him, her fingers still entwined with his, as they maneuvered past several people. She had no clue where the hell he was taking her. She was surprised she wasn’t drunk enough to jump him. Yet, here she was, not giving a shit about moral standards at all.

  His hand was toasty warm, which sent tingles up and down her spine. When Jake found a dark, secluded corner, he stopped. To her surprise, he pushed her hard against the wall, and his lips descended to touch hers feverishly. The kiss felt exactly like the first time she’d kissed him inside his mother’s RV. The night she’d broken the bottle of Sambuca, and they’d had to mop up the blue liquid from the floor using a dishcloth. She’d felt awful then, but when his lips had touched hers, it had all disappeared. Exactly as was happening now, her worries about Kate and Michael evaporated. It was only them and the wall.

  Wrapping her arms around his neck, she twirled her legs around his waist like a pretzel, her fingers tangling in his hair. Both breathed heavily as if they couldn’t get enough air—but weren’t prepared to stop, either. Her heart raced, and her skin tingled as his hands ducked below her skirt to plunge into the skin right below her ass and thigh.

  He pushed against her harder, deepening their kiss. Her ears started to ring and her blood started to sing. He was driving her insane.

  And then, abruptly, he stopped. His lips lingered close to her earlobe. His breathing was ragged, his voice raspy when he spoke. “I really want to stay, but I really have to go.” He brushed his lips against her neck and her eyes closed involuntary. She bit her lower lip, which was swollen from all the sucking, and when his lips trailed across her cheek to her lips, he gave her a final, soft kiss.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow. Enjoy the rest of your birthday.” His lips moved against hers, and she could feel his smile forming. Playfully, she tugged on her upper lip with her teeth as her feet touched the ground. “Just not too much fun, please.”

  Sighing, she sucked in her lips as she watched him turn and head back toward the staircase. But this time, she didn’t watch him leave. Fuck. She just couldn’t. Instead, she remained where he’d left her for a short while, trying to ground herself again. Taking a couple of deep breaths, she straightened her shoulders, then headed back out to the dance floor.

  Fuck, did that seriously just happen?

  THE COLD AIR OF THE EARLY morning blew into Holly’s face as she left the bar with Rodney. It was two in the morning, and she still wasn’t as drunk as she’d wanted to be.

  “So, did you enjoy your twenty-eighth birthday, missy?” Rod asked.

  “I did,” she said, thinking back to Jake’s kiss, not realizing she was biting her
lower lip.

  “Spill, what happened?”

  “N-nothing.” Her voice wavered.

  “Hmm… why don’t I believe you? Your lip-biting is always a dead giveaway. Definitely not nothing. I’ve only seen you do that once, and it was when you got some lip action with what’s-his-name.”

  Holly laughed. “And then he found out about Jamie.”

  Rod laughed, too. “It wasn’t going to work with that dude, anyway. That was just a three-day fling, and thank heavens there was no sex involved.”

  She looked at Rod.

  “Tell me,” he pleaded.

  “It’s not what you think. But okay.” She knew she had to tell him something, but she couldn’t tell him that she’d kissed Jake, so she decided to go with another kind of truth. “I saw him today.”

  Rod’s eyes widened. “Who, Steve?”

  She nodded.

  “Annnd? What did he have to say when he saw you?”

  “He looked at me as if he was seeing a ghost.” She gave him another truth, just not today’s.

  “And that’s why you have the lip-biting thing going on?”

  Holly smiled. “I just forgot how good-looking he was, that’s all.”

  Rodney gave her a side hug, and kissed her temple. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I know it couldn’t have been easy to see him again.”

  “Hey, it’s fine. I’d be lying if I said I was over him, but I guess I’ll get there, right?”

  He nodded and winked, letting her know that she was only human, and everyone had weaknesses. Even if hers was for men like Jake Peters. Now she was feeling like an idiot for having kissed him. How could she have been so stupid? He’d left her, he seemed the type to do it again based on his disregard for his fiancée. She was wasting her time.

  That night she struggled to sleep, worrying her ass off about what he’d meant when he’d said, I’ll see you tomorrow. She couldn’t do this again. Maybe she could tell him that she’d been drunk, that it had been a mistake, and that it had meant absolutely nothing. But, he’d know she was lying. He knew what she was like drunk.

  The alarm clock went off with an irritating buzzing noise at around five. Her eyes felt as if they’d been burned into their sockets and she struggled to open them. Hauling herself out of bed, then practically crawling to the bathroom to take a shower, was the only way she was going to start the day.

  Lukewarm water caressed her skin. For a few minutes the world was a happy place, before reality came crashing down. She’d kissed Jake! And not just any kiss—it had been passionate, feverish, and a bit slutty.

  Guilt, extreme guilt, filled her core and moved up her chest. How could she have done this to another woman, not to mention his two-year-old son? She hated that he’d had a child with another woman who got all his attention, when his first child got nothing.

  Truth be told, Holly was jealous, but Kate and Michael were innocent. She’d acted stupidly, which could result in both his fiancée and son being hurt. She couldn’t allow herself to get caught up in Jake Peters again. She had to stop whatever had happened last night from happening again.

  *********

  The entire day, Holly felt as if she was walking on eggshells—both from regret and the mild hangover from the night before. What made it worse was that Jake was nowhere to be seen. When there was still no sign of Jake by the time her shift ended, she knew he wouldn’t make an appearance, which was a good thing.

  Holly regretted what had happened between them. It was already hard to be around Jake. Now it would be extremely uncomfortable as well. What had she been thinking? This went against all her morals! She hoped Jake was feeling the same regret, though she was sure that would sting just like his rejection five years ago. She felt the same now as she had back then when he’d rejected her and their children. When he’d said those nine words. Whenever she closed her eyes, she was still able to hear him in her head. It is what it is. I got to go. Today especially, as she had to constantly remind herself what he’d done five years ago.

  It was late evening when Holly flopped onto her bed, bouncing a few times. She struggled to fall asleep. She was still battling her hangover. Emotions of guilt-slash-hatred-slash-rejection had consumed her all day. She hated Jake for doing this to her. Well, no more.

  Holly woke with the birds and got ready for work. Before starting her day, she grabbed some breakfast. At work she found her name written next to inventory. It was a task that took the entire freaking day, or so Rev had told her. She’d never had to do it before. It had to be payback from Desire.

  Sighing to herself, she picked up the stock sheet from Sue at main reception.

  “Counting today, Holls?”

  “Yay, me,” she joked, which made Sue laugh.

  Every ward had its own stockroom, which needed to be counted every fourth night. It was the task of an intern, usually a different one every time. For some reason, Holly was convinced it was to become her duty from now on.

  She knew it was because of that night Holly had gone off on Jake because he couldn’t save Maggie Davenport. Des had sort of become Jake’s Rodney at Downsend, not that Holly thought that Des was into brains or anything. It was another thing she added to her list of reasons why getting involved with Jake Peters again would be a big mistake. Someone would pick it up, and then what? No, it had to stop before it really started.

  “Forty-six, forty-seven, forty-eight…” She was counting bandages when the door opened, but she didn’t look up. When Rev asked her where the gauze was, she lost track of what she was counting. Pointing to the gauze, she took stock of what he removed and marked it off. She sighed and started recounting the bandages.

  She was done with the third stockroom by lunchtime. If things carried on at that pace, she might be able to get out of there before seven.

  Holly sank down into a seat next to Rev in the cafeteria. He and Cindy were busy discussing one of their cases.

  “Is this the same guy we talked about last week? He’s still here?” Holly asked. The patient was an elderly gentleman, one Cindy complained about constantly because he was extremely rude. Holly listened as they spoke about how his problem had been neurological all this time. She deflated. If this turned into a life-threatening case, Oliver wouldn’t touch it. Which meant that Jake would take over. She couldn’t deal with seeing him. Not yet. The memory of him pressing his body against hers at the club, and kissing her until her ears practically sang, was locked in her head.

  Cindy used to hang out with Tanya in the beginning, but lately had started hanging around Rev. She was a talker, and Holly hated the twinkle in her eyes whenever she mentioned Jake. The female gender in general had a twinkle in their eyes whenever Jake’s name was mentioned.

  Why had she kissed him? Why had she wanted to? She should’ve let him leave and left it there, but she hadn’t. “I’ve got to go. There are still a few stockrooms I need to work through,” Holly said halfway through her salad.

  “You’re not even done with your lunch.”

  “Not hungry. Inventory doesn’t really help you work up an appetite,” she joked.

  “Then I should sign myself up for the next one!” Cindy yelled after her.

  Holly rolled her eyes and smiled, waving over her shoulder as she left the cafeteria. Next on her list was the children’s ward. Their stockroom was huge; if she was lucky, she’d finish it within two hours. If she managed not to think about what happened with Jake at all. Two hours should be more than enough.

  Her mind felt ready to explode. She was halfway through cataloging in the children’s ward. Two nurses entered and took a few things, but she was completely lost as to where on the stock sheet they were. That ended up costing her another half hour, and it was already two o’clock.

  Taking a huge breath, she filled her lungs, then started counting the 5 ml syringes of which there were ten on a long string. Picking up all the strings, she started the monotonous task of counting them one by one. Just then, the door opened again, but she didn’t
lose her concentration this time. “Eight, nine, ten,” she counted to herself, writing down the total on a separate pad. Without turning, she said, “Please, just tell me what you are taking and how many!”

  No reply.

  As she was about to turn to repeat what she’d said, a strong arm snaked her around the waist, pulling her back. Warm lips landed on the soft skin on the nape of her neck. Holly knew immediately who it was; his scent confirmed it. Her eyes closed involuntarily as he grabbed her tighter around the waist and pulled her back into him.

  And the first thing she felt was the hardness of his shaft pressing into her back. As much as she wanted him, she couldn’t go there. She wouldn’t. She had to remain strong. She stiffened at his touch.

  Jake’s hands roamed over her stomach, and Holly had to hold her breath to keep herself from giving in.

  “Jake. Stop.” Her words came out in a broken croak. His hands stilled on her stomach, but she could feel his arms tighten. She squirmed out of his grip and turned to face him. His expression was one of disbelief. Clearly, he hadn’t expected her to deny him. She scoffed at the look on his face. Asshole! She couldn’t believe he’d think she’d be so readily available.

  “What are you doing here, Jake?”

  “I told you I’d see you tomorrow, and I know I’m a day late, but I couldn’t get away yesterday. I tried, but Kate had an emergency, and I had to pick Michael up,” he said, his eyes sparkling at her.

  Holly let out a frustrated groan. “That’s not what I mean, Jake. I mean, what are you doing here? You’re getting married. You have a son! What the fuck is going through your mind right now? Did you really think that just because we shared a kiss two nights ago while I was intoxicated that I’d just jump onto your penis the first opportunity you gave me? Do you really think I’m that cheap?”

  Jake’s eyes widened at her outburst. He ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know, Holly. You were the one who came running after me at the bar. You sent out pretty clear signals when you had your legs wrapped around my waist.”