The Reformation of Marli Meade

by Tracy Hewitt Meyer

  “Damn that church,” he muttered. “We’ve got to get out of here.”

  I pulled back, searching those colorful eyes for meaning.

  “We can’t wait for this to happen to you. And it will. Something will happen. They’re losing their grip on you. We need to leave. I’ll get money and a car. We’ll go far away. No one will find us and when we’re eighteen, no one will care.”

  “What?” I felt like a little child trying to understand advanced chemistry.

  “They’ll kill you. Maybe not really kill you but they’ll kill your spirit. They’ll never let you go. We need to escape and we can’t wait another day.” He pulled my face into his hands. “Marli, they’ll do to you what they’ve done to Mary.”

  As if to seal the deal, he lured me into a deep, resonating kiss that set about an alteration of every chemical inside my brain until I was leaning into him, then farther still. If I could’ve, I would’ve merged my body with his right then and there.

  He pulled away. “Tomorrow morning. Four thirty.” His eyes locked on mine. “Do you understand what I’m saying?”

  I nodded.

  “Pack a light bag. Meet me at the usual place. We’ll hike off the mountain and I’ll have a car and money ready. And then we’re going to run.”

  My mind whirled with possibilities, fears, decisions.

  “Marli?”

  I looked at him.

  “Is this what you want? I need to know for sure.”

  “Yes.” I studied the split skin on his lip. He needed to leave as much as I did. “This is what I want.”

  IHURRIED BACK TO school in time for lunch. Polly hadn’t been at her locker or in class that morning, and I wanted to see if she had come to school late. She wasn’t in the hallway, by her locker, or in the cafeteria. As the last option, I went outside to the picnic tables. She was seated at one, her head bent toward the wooden surface, her hands folded in prayer.

  “Polly?” I eased down beside her.

  Polly looked up, her cheeks tearstained, her eyes red and swollen.

  I pulled her to me. “I’m so sorry!”

  I rocked back and forth as Polly cried, gut-wrenching sobs shaking her slender body.

  “I can’t believe that happened to Mary,” she said.

  “I can’t either. I’m so sorry.”

  “They’ve sent her away.”

  I stopped rocking. “They sent her away? After all that?”

  Polly wiped her nose with a tissue. “Yeah. They sent her away.”

  “Where?”

  “I don’t know! But Marli?”

  I leaned forward.

  “She was pregnant.”

  “What?”

  Polly closed her eyes and nodded. “Toby got her pregnant.”

  “What are they going to do about the baby? Did they send her away to have it?”

  “No one will say.”

  Polly’s eyes took on a distant, faraway stare.

  “I can’t believe this. I thought those times were over.” A violent shiver shot through me.

  “Are you cold?” Polly asked.

  “Just a feeling. A bad feeling.”

  Polly nodded as if she shared the same feeling and turned her gaze back to the cracks in the old wood.

  “Will we ever see Mary again?”

  A tear fell from Polly’s eye and landed in one of those cracks. “I don’t know. My gut tells me she’s gone. Where to, I have no idea.”

  I covered my mouth, afraid I might start to whimper. I was afraid for Mary and what awaited her wherever she was. I was also afraid for myself and Polly.

  And Nate. He couldn’t stay in that house a minute longer.

  “Polly, I think we have to leave.”

  “What do you mean?” Her thick brows pursed.

  “There is something we could do…I have a plan.”

  “For what?”

  I scanned the schoolyard and dropped my voice to a whisper. “Tomorrow morning…” I watched Polly. This information was even more explosive than when I’d confided about the kiss. “We’re leaving.”

  “Leaving? Who?”

  “Me and Nate. And you if you want to escape.”

  “What does Nate have to do with this?”

  There was so much my best friend didn’t know. Other than sharing about that first kiss, we hadn’t really had a chance to talk. When the world around you spins out of control, chitchat doesn’t usually find a place to fit in.

  “He needs to get away from his family. His father and brother are abusive. He’ll get hurt if he stays.”

  “How close are you two? Marli…” Polly grasped my hand. “You’re not doing what Mary was, are you? I can’t handle something like that happening again, not to someone else I love.”

  Our relationship had not progressed to the point Mary’s and Toby’s had. That kind of turning point was not even an issue for me. Not yet. I still relished the long kisses, the wandering hands, the manic, rapid breathing.

  But still…hadn’t I done enough to warrant a punishing in the eyes of the church?

  “We aren’t like Toby and Mary, Polly. I promise. But we have been spending time together.”

  “Unchaperoned? Marli, you sound crazy. I feel like I don’t even know you.”

  That statement squeezed my heart. “I know. It’s all been happening so fast. The first night the Stones came to the church and I learned that I was engaged, something changed. I changed. I knew I didn’t want to let go of having a chance to live, and since the wedding is supposed to happen within a year, maybe even as early as this summer…I don’t know.” I shrugged, a more nonchalant gesture than I felt. “I needed to feel alive, even if just for a little while.”

  Polly stared at me.

  “I don’t regret anything,” I whispered. “Nothing. Even if I get caught…even if I never see him again, I don’t regret it. He changed me. He helped me live.”

  Tears spilled from Polly’s eyes again. “I don’t want you to ever not feel alive. I just didn’t realize. I’m sorry.”

  “Polly! Don’t apologize! You’re my best friend and I’m sorry I haven’t confided in you. It’s just, after that first kiss, the one I told you about, things seemed to start unraveling so fast with Mary and started moving so fast with Nate. I haven’t even caught my breath yet.”

  We sat in silence for several minutes, watching students mill about like it was a normal, regular kind of day.

  “Where would we go?” Polly asked, her voice strained.

  “Away. Anywhere. We just have to leave. It’s only going to get worse.”

  Polly didn’t respond.

  “What do you think?” I prompted, unable to stand the silence any longer. “Will you come?”

  “I’ll come. Tell me what I need to do.”

  “I HAVE MORE things for you.”

  I jumped at the sound of Heather’s voice. I was sitting in the back of the library staring out the window seeing nothing but the looming little church and its severe little cross. I hadn’t even heard Heather’s footsteps.

  “You have more things?”

  Heather opened a large duffel bag and started pulling out clothes. “These aren’t all mine. Some of these are my mom’s and might be too big. I have more shoes this time and some dresses.”

  I was dumbfounded. This girl could run so hot and cold she was giving me whiplash.

  “How did you know I was here?”

  “The librarian is my aunt. She says there is only ever one person here in the evenings and that person is you. I’m frankly surprised she could see you well enough to know who you are, but she managed.”

  Heather proceeded in silence, organizing the garments in piles across the table. When she finished, the surface was covered.

  “Heather, I can’t possibly take all of this stuff.”

  “You don’t want it?” Heather’s voice lacked any tone at all.

  “I do. The clothes are so pretty and it’s so generous of you and your mom. But I don’t have anyw
here to put these things.”

  What I didn’t say was that I could take no more risks. In fact, I knew I would only have room for some of the things Heather had already given me. I had to pack light when I left.

  “Then take them. You might need them someday.”

  “But I don’t have anywhere to put them. I have to…be careful.”

  Heather watched me. “My aunt won’t notice if you store some things here. Last year when I wasn’t getting along with my parents, I stayed here for a month and she had no idea.”

  “I don’t understand you. This…” I swept my hand across the clothes. “Why are you doing this?”

  “I know about that church. Not personally, thank God. But I know about it. I hear my parents talk.”

  “What do they say?”

  “That something’s going on up there, something dangerous.”

  My breath caught.

  “I know what happened last night.”

  “How?” The word escaped my mouth in a whoosh.

  “My dad works at the courthouse. There were rumors. People are starting to talk…more so than usual, and it’s not good what they’re saying.”

  “Someone knew what was happening and didn’t do anything?”

  Heather shrugged as if this conversation weren’t about my life but about a picnic the church was planning even though the forecast called for rain. “That’s all I know. I thought you might want to run away.”

  “I do,” I whispered, surprised the words came out of my mouth and even more surprised that I would confide in a girl like Heather.

  But Heather only nodded as if she expected that answer. “Then here are some things you might need. Just come to the library and get them.” Heather dug into her pocket. “Here.” She held out her hand.

  “What’s this?”

  “The key to the library. You can leave your things here and get them, even in the middle of the night.”

  Heather started toward the door.

  “Heather?”

  She looked over her shoulder.

  I pulled the lipstick out of my pocket and held it up. “You left this in the bathroom one day.”

  “I know. I left it on purpose.”

  She walked away without a backward glance.

  I fell into a chair, stunned and confused. I sat that way for several minutes looking over the clothes, doing an inventory in my head. Heather had even left the duffel bag, and now I had everything I needed but undergarments and toiletries, along with a place to store it.

  There was an unused trash can near the far wall. Heather’s duffel easily fit in the bottom and the empty trash bag covered it. I returned to the chair to wait on six o’clock, twirling the key between my fingers.

  Preoccupied as I was, I lost track of the time. It was only when a truck beeped its horn outside that I realized it was time to leave. My heart sank when I saw Edna in the front seat, staring at me in a way that sent a marching army of unease bristling down my back.

  I slid into the quiet truck and realized I was still holding the key to the library.

  Edna’s eyes narrowed. And then she looked down.

  I didn’t dare follow her gaze. I only prayed the key was obscured within my fisted palm.

  “WE ARE HAVING service tonight. There is a new dress in your closet.”

  “Another service?” I blurted. Charles and Edna stood with their backs to the closed front door as if they were blocking my escape. “New dress?” I rested my palm over my heart.

  “Yes.”

  Bile rose in my throat. “Like the last one?”

  “Today’s youth are running errant, treading off God’s righteous path.” Edna let the sentence linger before continuing. “But no. Tonight’s ceremony is more of a prevention.”

  “For who?” My voice cracked and I cleared my throat. “May I ask who is in danger of veering off the path? I would like to say a prayer beforehand.”

  Four eyes were hard, like glass. If there was any emotion inside the mother and son, their orbs gave no indication. I tried to envision myself like one of the thousands of surrounding trees: stoic, unyielding, unafraid.

  Unfortunately, I was none of those things.

  I made my feet carry me to my room and collapsed on the bed.

  This couldn’t be a punishing for me, could it? If only I had access to a telephone, I could call Nate and tell him we had to leave now. He would come and get me—I had no doubt about that. We could leave this godforsaken place so far behind it would be nothing but a distant black dot on an expansive map.

  But I didn’t have a phone. There was no way to contact Nate. And what about Polly?

  They needed to escape as badly as I did. I couldn’t screw this up and not meet them.

  I buried my face in the pillow. Whatever was happening tonight, I would handle. I had to. For Nate’s sake, and Polly’s. For my own.

  With a steeled jaw, I pushed off the bed, straightened my shirt and flung open the doors to the closet to see this new dress.

  And the sight made my soul cry, my stoic thoughts turning to dry, lifeless dust.

  There, on a wooden hanger was a white dress. A wedding dress.

  I hurled it onto the bed as if it burned. My head pounded and I couldn’t stand straight without feeling dizzy.

  A wedding dress?

  It wasn’t new—that was obvious from the style and the slight yellowing of the lace around the high collar.

  I had seen this dress before in an old photograph I’d found five years ago in the back of the coffee-table Bible. The picture was of my mother and father on their wedding day. It was the only photo I’d ever seen of my mother…and she had been wearing this dress.

  Edna had caught me looking at the picture and I never saw it again.

  Was tonight going to be my wedding?

  I crashed into the dresser as my knees gave out. For several minutes, I gulped air, holding onto the cold wood, willing myself to breathe.

  No. This couldn’t be.

  Why were they doing this? No young wedding had taken place in years. Why was marrying me off so urgent? What had I done? What did they know?

  A sob burst out of my mouth, but I didn’t want to draw Edna’s attention, so I yanked a pillow off the bed and cried into it until the cotton was saturated.

  I PACED, GIVING wide berth to the dress like it was an animal ready to strike. It was getting late and I wasn’t ready—how could I put that on?

  My nails had long since been chewed down to nothing.

  As the clock ticked away, the sound of Edna’s shoes slapping against the hardwood floors were like puncture wounds to my brain. Edna was probably gathering her square purse and Bible. Maybe a sweater.

  I swallowed against the acid in my throat. I had no time to waste getting sick. I had to think and think fast. Charles’s pounding footsteps joined Edna’s. They would want to leave for the church soon.

  I hurried to the window and shoved it open.

  Yes.

  I ran to the door. It didn’t have a lock, so as quietly as I could, I wedged my wooden desk chair under the knob. At least it should buy me a minute or two.

  Then I darted back to the window. I slid my feet into a pair of old shoes, shimmied into a light coat, and popped out the screen. It squeaked at its release and I stopped to listen, but no knock came on the door.

  As tenderly as possible, I leaned the screen against the wall, hiked my long skirt up, and slid through the opened space, hitting the ground below with a soft thud. I jerked upright and scanned the area. The congregants would be on the other side of the house following the path toward the sky, but when I ran across the yard into the forest, there was a decent chance I would be seen—either by Edna or Charles looking out a back window or by a passerby.

  It was a chance I was going to have to take.

  Robert’s cabin sat in the distance. I couldn’t afford to go the long way around it like I usually did—it would put me directly in the line of sight of the congregants. No. I’d ha
ve to run straight toward it and slide around the side as close as possible, staying in the shadow it offered. Maybe he would be out in the woods hunting.

  Just as I was about to bolt, bouncing on the balls of my feet, Robert stepped onto his front porch. The distance between the two houses was significant, but he saw me. I could tell.

  Inside the house, someone knocked on my door. It was now or never. It was marriage or, if I fled and got caught, a punishing and marking…or worse.

  Edna banged louder. My breath came in quickened spurts. I had to decide now.

  I looked at Robert.

  Fists beat against the door. “Marli!” shouted Edna.

  “Open this door now, Marlina!” Charles’s voice made the ground beneath my feet shake worse than the time there was an actual earthquake a few miles away.

  If I stayed and married Josiah, I would be as good as dead. If I had any hope for a future, I had to fight for it now.

  With a wave of his hand, Robert seemed to call me forward.

  I hesitated.

  Another pounding erupted on my bedroom door. A jiggle of the knob.

  Come on, he seemed to mouth.

  Come.

  Now.

  So I did.

  I SPRINTED ACROSS the grass, imagining I had sprouted wings. My footsteps were louder in my paranoia than they possibly could have been in reality.

  As I neared his porch, Robert bent, almost like he was going to catch me in some sort of dance lift. His arms were outstretched and there was a look of panic on his face. Coupled with the dark beard that covered his jaw, he looked like a crazed mountain man. Maybe he would soon look like my savior.

  “Get in. Hurry.”

  I didn’t pause as I hit the small porch, flying over the narrow space until I was inside the cabin. Robert hurried in behind me and closed the door, the deadbolt turning with a click.

  I fell against the far wall, hands on knees, panting. Our eyes locked for a moment before he turned to the window.

  He pulled the curtain back. “There is no one out yet.”

  I burst into tears. They were coming. They wouldn’t let me go. Forcing the marriage to take place tonight showed that. Then what would happen? I’d be shipped off somewhere with my new husband? The church had established rules with the local police. Don’t bother us and we won’t bother you.