There was a horrible silence. Just the party music pumping out behind us. I could feel Eve stiffen beside me. I opened my eyes.
‘Oh,’ Hayley said, pretending to be all shocked again. ‘You must be Luke’s girlfriend. The one he doesn’t want seeing us drinking together.’
‘Hayley.’ I could hear every ounce of Ryan’s charm in his voice. ‘Come on. Don’t do this.’
‘Do what?’ Hayley smiled nastily. ‘I don’t think it’s got anything to do with you. Though you obviously know all the details. Still, I suppose Luke had to boast to somebody.’
Another horrible silence. I desperately wanted to grab Eve and move away, but my feet seemed to be glued to the floor.
I forced myself to look right at Hayley, pleading with her to stop.
Her eyes were like tiny stones.
‘So this is nice, isn’t it?’ she snarled at me. ‘You and Ryan, both being here. With your ugly bitch girlfriends.’
‘Hey.’ Ryan, Chloe and I all shouted at once. Eve gasped.
My heart pounded.
‘Hayleeee.’ One of Hayley’s friends rushed over and tried to tug her away. ‘Hay. Come on. Let’s go.’
‘Yeah. Go, you stupid cow,’ Chloe spat, kicking at the empty beer bottle on the floor. It knocked against Hayley’s feet. ‘You’re just embarrassing yourself.’
Hayley swore. She lashed out at Chloe, her long red nails flashing like claws in the dim corridor light.
Chloe jumped sideways. She bumped into Eve, avoiding Hayley’s fingers by millimetres. With a roar Hayley lashed out again, but this time her fist was clenched. It missed Chloe completely and smacked, hard, against Eve’s face.
Time seemed to stop for a second. Then Eve’s hand flew to her cheek. Her eyes widened as she stared at Hayley.
A black fury filled me. Even worse than when I’d seen Matt shouting at Mum. Almost without being aware of what I was doing, I reached out and grabbed Hayley’s arms. ‘THAT’S ENOUGH.’ I could hear it was my voice, yelling, but it seemed to be coming from somewhere far outside my head.
Hayley glared up at me, trying to wrench her arms away.
‘GET OFF ME,’ she shouted.
‘Stop it then,’ I said, gripping her arms more tightly.
I could feel Hayley tense every muscle. ‘YOU WERE CRAP,’ she shouted. ‘You were rubbish. I just . . .’ She stopped suddenly, her arms still raised against mine. Her eyes flickered sideways, to where I knew Eve was standing, then back to me. She gazed at our arms entwined, at my whole body . . . up and down. ‘This remind you of anything, Luke?’ She threw me a sly smile.
And with a flourish she turned away and flounced off.
20
Facing facts
I stared across at Eve. Her face was white, except for a red mark across one cheekbone, where Hayley had hit her. Her eyes were blank. She pressed her lips together. I couldn’t tell whether she was angry, or just trying not to cry.
Hayley’s friend was bobbing up and down beside me. In spite of the horrified sounds she was making, it was obvious she was enjoying all the drama.
‘Oh my God,’ she said. ‘I can’t believe she did that. I didn’t realise she was that bothered. You must have really upset her when you slept with her. I mean—’
‘P’raps you’d better see if she’s all right, then,’ I snapped.
Jesus.
I reached out and took Eve’s arm. ‘Let’s go,’ I said. I dragged her past Chloe and Ryan, and down the stairs to the ground floor.
We stumbled out of the apartment building and into the clear, cold night air. I stood there for a few seconds, taking deep breaths, feeling the world fall back into place.
Then I turned to Eve. I stared at the red mark on her cheek. The skin was broken where one of Hayley’s rings must have caught it. ‘Are you OK?’ I said. ‘I’m so, so sorry that happened.’
‘That was her, then,’ Eve said, dully.
‘Please don’t let this change anything. I—’
‘Did you really tell Ryan what you’d done?’ Eve said. ‘You know, boasting, like she said?’
My mind flashed back to how impressed Ryan had been when I’d told him about Hayley. How much I’d enjoyed telling him.
‘He sort of guessed,’ I said, not meeting her eyes.
God. I was coming out of this looking like a total arse-hole.
Maybe I was one.
‘It was just one time.’ I shoved my hands in my pockets and stared at the pavement. ‘And I know you don’t understand this, but it wasn’t special. It was just . . . just what it was.’
I looked up. Eve shivered. I wanted to put my arms round her, but she seemed so distant, so wrapped up in her own thoughts, I didn’t dare.
‘I left my bag up there,’ Eve said, pointing up at the flat. ‘It’s got my – George’s – phone in it. Would you go back and get it?’
I nodded, but didn’t move. ‘Is your face all right?’
Will you still be here when I get back?
‘I’m fine.’ Eve sounded strangely calm. ‘I just want the phone.’
I raced up the stairs and back into the party. There was no sign of Hayley. Ryan and Chloe were deep in conversation where I’d left them. I rushed over and reached behind the corner table where I’d seen Eve stash her bag. I retrieved it and stood up.
Ryan was grinning at me. ‘That was wild,’ he said. He lowered his voice so Chloe couldn’t hear him. ‘Was it me or was it massively horny when Hayley started that cat fight?’
I stared at him. ‘You are twisted, mate.’
Ryan’s grin deepened. I thought of Eve waiting outside and tore back downstairs, leaping down the steps three at a time.
She was still there. I gave her the little handbag, my heart beating fast. ‘Eve?’
She looked at me. ‘It wasn’t as bad as I thought. Seeing her, I mean. Really. In some ways it’s easier now I know what she looks like.’ She paused. ‘Though she has got a great body.’
‘Has she?’ I said. ‘I didn’t notice.’
‘Yeah, right.’ Eve rolled her eyes. ‘Anyway, that’s not the point. The point is that seeing her and knowing what you did . . . it didn’t make me go back to feeling bad about myself. I’m not the one who did anything wrong. Why should I feel like a worthless piece of crap? That’s why I want the phone. I decided. I’m gonna call my dad right now.’
‘You sure?’ I glanced at my own phone. It was well after midnight.
‘He’ll be up,’ she said. ‘Spanish hours. Remember? Will you wait while I call him?’
I nodded. We walked down the street while she dialled the number. Her hands shook as she held the mobile up to her ear. It struck me how brave she was being confronting her dad like this. I reached out and wrapped my arms round her.
She didn’t pull away.
I could hear the phone on the other end ringing. Then Jonno’s voice, barking out a hello. I leaned against the wall behind us, letting Eve rest against me. She was totally calm and strong as she talked to him. She explained how she wanted to go back to school for the rest of the year, then take a foundation course and go to art college.
‘I’ve sorted it all out, Dad,’ she said. ‘So you have to accept it.’
Jonno was upset and angry at first, accusing her of being thoughtless and selfish. But then he calmed down a little. I could hear him talking more softly, asking if she was all right, agreeing to fly over so they could talk.
And then Eve said she wanted to live at home with her mum again.
Yes.
My heart soared. I squeezed her waist. God. She felt amazing. I slipped my hand under her jacket and kissed her neck.
Eve pushed me away, grinning. She talked to her dad for about a minute longer, then flicked the phone shut and turned back to me.
‘He’s getting on a plane.’ She beamed at me. ‘I’m gonna see him at Mum’s tomorrow. Oh Luke, everything’s going to be all right now. I’m going to make it all right.’
She hugged me. ‘Ca
n I come back to yours?’ she asked. ‘It’s just George’s flat’ll be full of people smoking dope until four am. Anyway, I’m going to see Mum tomorrow and you’re much closer.’
‘Course,’ I grinned.
We walked down to the bus stop and got two night-buses back to my house. Everything felt different. Maybe it was the fact that all the crap we’d been through felt like it was almost over, but there was a freedom in how we were. Like we were totally ourselves now. Totally comfortable with each other.
We talked all the way home on the crowded bus, Eve full of her plans for her artwork. I told her how playing the guitar felt. How much I loved it. How I wanted to carry on playing with Cal, but had no money to buy an instrument or pay for lessons.
‘It’s the only thing I’ve ever done that I really loved,’ I said. ‘The only thing I could imagine doing for ever.’
We got off the bus, walked up the high street and turned off in the direction of my house. We didn’t stop talking until we reached the corner. Then Eve stood still, facing me, holding my hand.
‘I was thinking about that girl – Hayley,’ she said. ‘It’s weird.’
‘Oh?’ I said, feeling nervous.
Eve moved closer to me. ‘She was really upset, you know. That’s why she was so horrible.’
I looked away. ‘I know,’ I said.
‘D’you know what it made me think?’ Eve said.
That I’m an arsehole.
That you’re worth ten times more than I can ever give you.
That you don’t love me any more.
I shook my head.
‘Well.’ Eve moved even closer. ‘It made me think that I could afford to feel sorry for her. D’you know why?’
I looked at her and shook my head again.
‘Because I got you,’ Eve smiled. ‘And she didn’t.’
We stared at each other for a second. And then we kissed.
It wasn’t like any other kiss.
It was everything. All the friendship. All the lust. All the love.
All in one kiss.
It was so sweet and deep and then so overwhelming, so blindingly hot that I could hardly walk when Eve took my hand again and tugged me towards the house.
As we walked along the path to the front door Eve fell silent.
Inside, there was a note on the floor by the front door: Trisha is having her baby. I’ve gone round to look after Alice. See you later. Be good. Love Mum.
I picked up the note and glanced at Eve. ‘Empty house.’ I raised an eyebrow.
She nodded and slipped off her coat.
Jesus. Everything about her turned me on. Even tiny things: the way her top lip dipped into a V in the middle; that slightly shy expression in her eyes; the creamy skin rounding over her shoulder.
‘What do you want to do?’ I croaked.
Because I want you so much I can hardly stand it.
Eve said nothing.
‘It’s just that I’d rather know,’ I stammered. ‘You know, whether . . . I mean it doesn’t matter. That is, I mean . . . well . . .’
Eve pressed her finger against my lips. A tiny groan escaped out of my mouth. Just from that little touch.
She smiled up at me then moved closer, putting her arm round my waist. ‘Maybe I should sleep in Chloe’s room,’ she said.
I stared at her, all confused by the difference between what she was saying and how she was looking at me. God. The way she was looking at me.
‘What?’ I was practically on my knees now. ‘You mean on your own?’
Eve reached up and pressed her face against my cheek. ‘I’m kidding,’ she whispered. ‘I think I might explode if we don’t do it right now.’
21
Hiding
We ran upstairs to my bedroom.
As I led Eve past Mum’s room I considered going in there and using the bigger bed. But only for a few seconds. It was just too weird, thinking about being in Mum’s bed.
Inside my own room I dropped Eve’s hand and darted over to my wardrobe. I grabbed the packet of condoms I’d stashed in there months ago. Then I straightened up and looked round at all the mess: all the old posters and the music and the magazines and the clothes.
There was no stylish designer room. No four-poster double bed. No music pounding in our ears. Eve stood in front of me.
It was just her.
Just me.
Of course the first time was rubbish. Well. Rubbish for Eve. I was so off my head with wanting her that it was all over far, far too quickly. Afterwards I collapsed next to her, mumbling that I was sorry and worrying that maybe Hayley had been right about me being crap, while Eve lay there with ‘Was that it?’ written all over her face.
Then she told me to shut up and make her a cup of tea. And when I came back she grinned at me and drank her tea. Then she put down the mug and we started again. And this time I focused more on her – wanting it to be good for her, wanting it to be all about her.
I already knew practically every centimetre of her body. We had been going out for almost a year, after all. But this was different. Everything was different. The way she reacted when I touched her. The way she looked at me.
The way it felt.
It was getting light outside when we finally fell asleep, curled up face to face – all wrapped round each other.
My first thought was that the scrabbling sound was a mouse. I opened my eyes. Eve was gazing at me, her hair spread out on the pillow like a fan. Her cheek where Hayley had hit her was dark red, with a small cut. I stroked it, gently, still half asleep.
She smiled and I forgot the scrabbling sound and just wanted her again.
And then I heard a voice. A child’s voice. Hissing an exaggerated whisper.
‘Luke. Are you awake?’ It was Alice.
I blinked, trying to work out what Alice was doing back in our house. She’d moved out. Yesterday. And then I remembered Trisha was having her baby and Mum was looking after Alice for her.
Which meant Mum must be here. In the house.
My eyes snapped wide open.
Eve muffled a laugh. ‘Yeah, your mum’s here. I just heard the front door shut.’
‘Lu-uke. Open the door. Pleeese.’ Alice was rattling the door handle. For one awful moment I thought she was going to walk in, and then I remembered that I’d locked the door, just before we fell asleep, exactly so that no one could do that.
I sighed with relief. ‘How long have you been awake?’ I murmured, knowing we should get up but not wanting to let go of her.
‘Only a minute,’ Eve whispered back, wriggling down a little and laying her head on my chest.’
‘Lu-uu-ke.’Alice’s voice was getting louder.
I stroked Eve’s hair. ‘Mum’ll be up here in a moment,’ I said. ‘She’ll freak when she realises the door’s locked.’
‘I know.’ Eve sighed. ‘I don’t understand why I’m not panicking and running around getting dressed.’
‘I know why I’m not.’ I grinned. ‘My brain’s stopped working.’
She looked up at me with sleepy, sexy eyes. ‘Stopped working or changed location?’
Mmmn. I leaned down to kiss her.
And then the doorbell rang.
‘Who’s that?’ Eve wrinkled up her nose.
‘Probably just the postman,’ I said, running my hand down her back. ‘Ignore it. When Mum comes up and knocks I’ll tell her that she’s just woken me up. I’ll say I’m staying in bed for a bit longer. You can slip out later. No, don’t . . .’
But Eve was turning away from me, reaching for her mobile. She switched it on. ‘Crap. I’ve got, like, ten messages.’ Her whole body went rigid. ‘Oh my God. It’s one o’clock.’
‘What?’ I sat bolt upright. ‘In the afternoon?’
‘Yes.’ Eve stared at me. ‘I was supposed to be at Mum’s at eleven. Dad was coming straight from the—’
‘Luke.’ It was Mum’s voice, calling up the stairs. She sounded tense. Anxious.
My h
eart pounded. ‘You don’t think . . .?’
Footsteps sounded on the stairs. More than one set. Heavy. Tramping.
‘LUKE.’ It was Jonno’s voice.
Eve and I stared at each other, our eyes wide. Then – like it was choreographed – we rolled away from each other off the bed and sprang onto the floor.
‘Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit.’ Eve scrabbled across the carpet, retrieving her clothes. I reached down and started pulling on my jeans.
Two sharp raps on the door. Then the handle being twisted again.
Oh my God.
‘Luke, are you in there?’ Mum sounded really scared now. ‘Open the door.’
‘Just a minute, Mum,’ I shouted.
I glanced over at Eve. She was struggling to push her legs through her jeans. I zipped mine up and looked around for my top.
‘Luke?’
Heavy blows thumped against the door.
‘D’you know where Eve is?’ Mum called.
‘LUKE.’ Jonno roared. ‘Let us in or I’m breaking down the door.’
‘I’m coming,’ I yelled back.
Eve was in her jeans at last, her glittery top in her hands. ‘There’s nowhere I can hide,’ she whispered, frantically looking round the room.
My mouth felt dry. ‘You’re not hiding,’ I said. ‘We haven’t done anything to be ashamed of. We love each other, right?’
A look of determination came over Eve’s face. She nodded.
‘Yes,’ she said. ‘We do.’
Mum and Jonno were arguing outside the door over whether or not to break it down.
‘He’s said he’s going to open it . . .’
‘Then why doesn’t he? My daughter said she would meet us earlier. Something must have happened to her.’
I walked to the door.
‘Wait.’ Eve looked down at the glittery top. ‘I can’t wear this. It looks all wrong.’
‘I don’t think now’s the time to worry about your clothes co-ordinating,’ I hissed.
‘No,’ she whispered. ‘It looks too slaggy. Like I stayed out all night.’
I shook my head. Jesus. When Jonno got into this room, the last thing he was going to be worried about was what Eve was wearing.
‘You’re not breaking it down,’ Mum shrieked.
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