Shalia's Diary #8

by Tracy St. John

  I snickered. “I asked you if you’re completely done with Mihi and Ama.”

  “Oh. Oh yeah. We said our goodbyes ages ago.”

  “Didn’t they come on board last week? I thought I saw you talking to them on the concourse.”

  She nodded, her gaze going hazy again. “Yeah. They were on their way to the pleasure club and we ran into each other. Just because we all decided it was best to break things off doesn’t mean we’re not still friends. Except we don’t really plan to keep in touch or ... or...”

  Her voice had been fading as she spoke and finally died altogether. She was gone again.

  “Where are you?” I asked. I had a suspicion though.

  She blinked into the real world again. Her face turned pink and she laughed self-consciously. “Nobek Stidmun.”

  “Still? Have you talked to him since we left the space station?”

  She blushed more fiercely than ever. “Every night.”

  My eyes widened. “That sounds kind of serious, Gal Pal.”

  “I know.” She shoved away her tray, looking unhappy. “I haven’t figured out if this is the biggest infatuation of my life or if I’m actually in love.”

  “Oh. Well.” I had nothing to say to that.

  “Yeah.”

  “He’s not clanned, right?”

  “Nope.” Candy scowled at nothing. “And you know what? I don’t want him to be. I don’t want to share him if I was to get so lucky as to have him around all the time.”

  I think my eyebrows shot all the way up to my hairline at that little nugget of information. “Well, maybe it’s more a matter of you getting shared. Mataras are supposedly the heart of the clan.”

  “It’s only part jealousy,” she admitted. “I prefer Nobeks, Shalia. Dramoks and Imdikos are nice enough, but I really have a thing for the warrior-type.”

  “Are you sure? Maybe you just haven’t met the right Dramoks and Imdikos.”

  Candy sighed, one of her unhappy ones. “Part of why I stopped looking at my lottery candidates was because I never felt a connection with those two breeds. I always adored the Nobeks that were in my most compatible list ... but I could never find any interest in the rest.” She shook her head. “Now it’s only Stidmun. Nobody else compares.”

  Man, she had it bad. I felt a wave of sympathy for her. “What are you going to do?”

  “He’s got time off coming. He wants to come to Kalquor to visit me. Maybe take a trip or something to explore if we really do have a connection.” Candy’s next sigh had more of the happy tone. “From there? I don’t know. We’ll have to wait and see.”

  I managed not to point out all the obstacles to her having a real relationship with Stidmun. The way she acted, she knew the hurdles all too well.

  “You’re not making things easy on yourself, are you?” I asked with a wry grin.

  She grinned back. “Of course not. I’m looking to your shoulder in the months ahead, Shalia.”

  “It’s quite absorbent,” I assured her. “Cry on it at will.”

  I would never wish angst on anyone. But a perverse part of me is glad I’m not the only one with issues of the heart.

  September 17

  Four days from Kalquor. Just four days.

  I should be packing. Ha, with all of Anrel’s things I should have been packing and getting ready a week ago. Yet somehow I keep finding other things to do. Like write in my journal. Yeah, this is an excellent way to avoid what I’m supposed to do.

  This morning was bittersweet, as almost every moment is these days. I’d just stepped out of the shower following my workout and blade training when Betra came in. I was surprised that he didn’t have Anrel.

  “She’s with Megan,” he told me. “I thought you and I should have a little talk.”

  “Uh-oh. What did I do this time?” I snorted, realizing how easy it would be for him to whip off the towel wrapped around my body. Easy access if he wanted to give me a spanking or a good, nasty fuck. Either one would have been fine.

  He laughed, his sweet open face more handsome for it. He went to my lounger and sat down, patting the seat next to him. Happy to oblige him, I sashayed over and squashed up close.

  “Hmm, I guess I know what you’d like to discuss,” he remarked, darkness sliding into his eyes. “But only if you let me talk about what I need to first.”

  “Deal,” I said, delighted at the prospect of reward.

  He chuckled and hugged me. “Okay. Well, let me start by stating the obvious. We’re almost to Kalquor.”

  “Ugh.” I wrinkled my nose. “Not what I want to talk about. I’m already feeling gut-punched at random intervals.”

  “So Oses tells me. You racing into his office in tears the other day scared the hell out of him.”

  “Nobeks don’t cope so well with women emoting grief,” I said. “I didn’t want to do the hysterical act with him, but it hit hard. I couldn’t stop myself.”

  Betra nodded. “I get that. Remember, I had to take a break for a while too. The hurt swamped me pretty bad.”

  “But you’re over it now,” I noted. He displayed sadness at our imminent parting from time to time, but it hadn’t led to him closing himself off after the one time.

  “Over it? I wouldn’t say so.” Betra laughed quietly. “I think I’ll find out how well a Nobek deals with an Imdiko emoting grief after we start back for Earth.”

  I sighed. “We messed up, didn’t we? Getting so attached.”

  He gave me a resigned smile. “What do I keep telling you?”

  I returned the smile. “The time we had was worth it. I agree completely.”

  His smile faded to be replaced by a more serious regard. “You will actively look for a clan, right? You will find good fathers for Anrel and good mates for yourself?”

  I thought of Clan Seot and then Clan Aslada. I thought I might have already scored on that front, times two. And if not them, there were others waiting in the wings. Clans that had proven their stability, with no obstacles to prevent them clanning with me. Clans that would be there in person for me and my child. Clans that would fight to keep me no matter what the hurdles. Clans that would prove themselves in loyalty as Betra and Oses had. Maybe I would even find love, the forever kind that meant I’d never have to go through these awful parting scenes again.

  I nodded. “I will find the right men for Anrel and me.”

  “Good.” Creases eased in Betra’s face. I hadn’t noticed them there until he’d received my assurance and they went away. “I keep thinking of how you were in the beginning over Clan Dusa. I don’t want you like that over me. I know Oses doesn’t want you in hell because you’re hung up on him. It would piss him off.”

  I had to snicker at that. It would indeed piss Oses off to no end. “Heaven knows we don’t need him grumpier than usual.” I quieted, looking at my friend and lover. “I’m glad you two have each other.”

  “Thanks to you,” Betra said. “I don’t think we ever would have gotten past my issues without you to link us together.” His eyes twinkled. “I owe you thanks for my Nobek.”

  “Oh yeah? Feel free to pay up,” I invited.

  He grinned and tugged at my towel. Yay for naked Shalia.

  Betra cupped my breasts, his touch warm and good. His thumbs stroked over my nipples, and pleasure made a mad dash to my gut. Yowza.

  “Lace your hands behind your neck,” he commanded. I did so, making my breasts lift like an offering. He took it with a happy growl. His fingers pinched my nipples, slowly building the pressure to send even headier sensations gallop towards my pussy. I wriggled a little in reaction.

  “Stay still or I’ll have to discipline you,” Betra warned, his brows lowering over his eyes. Ooh, was that supposed to be a threat? Silly man.

  Before I could come up with a bratty action to get me into the kind of trouble I wanted, he leaned forward to capture my mouth in a kiss. There was no way I was going to do anything that would rob me of one of those. The man is an artiste when it comes
to kissing.

  His lips moved slowly over mine, easing them apart to admit his tongue. He tasted me thoroughly, making me dizzy from the sheer passion of it. I was aware of wetness spilling from my pussy, seeping out to dampen my inner thighs.

  He moved back, his lips curling in a satisfied smile as he looked my face over. “Glazed eyes, soft face ... excellent,” he congratulated himself. “Now where was I before I had to distract you? Oh yes, now I remember.”

  Those perfect lips pressed against my chin and then kissed a trail down my neck. I silently urged him on, my fuzzy brain begging him to go lower, down to the breasts he still held in his hands. He gave a lingering lick to the valley between them, the nearness of his mouth to where I wanted them sending chills down my spine.

  He was kind, this time his warm tongue stroking over one nipple to wet it. Then he blew a soft breath over the tightening nub to cool it off and make it harden in reaction. He sucked it into his mouth, his tongue playing over it. I could feel it swelling and growing more sensitive.

  I jerked. Betra’s teeth closed on my flesh, nipping to make a jolt zap through me. “I said be still,” he snarled.

  I groaned but made myself regain control over my traitorous body. He was setting me up to disobey, the vicious beast. Yet getting into trouble with Betra was often a wonderful thing.

  He went to the other breast, giving it a good lick before nipping it as he had the first. I whimpered at the hurt, which he gently kissed away. I was starting to get confused over what was supposed to be pleasure and what was pain. My tits felt full and heavy from his attentions.

  He sat back and looked me over with a pleased expression. “Look at you. Panting, your nipples hard as diamonds, trembling all over. And what else, Shalia?” Watching my face, he put his hand over my mound, letting me feel his heavy, hot hand there before letting a finger trace my slit. My pussy spasmed to feel him sliding through the wetness.

  “Nice. But I’d prefer it if you were kneeling on the floor,” he said.

  The words could have been a request, but the tone said otherwise. I was off the lounger and on my knees at his feet in an instant. I spread my legs and I even managed to keep my hands behind my neck the whole time.

  He rose to stand over me. I eyed the massive bulge in his uniform, right there in front of my face. What I wouldn’t have given to bury my face against that right then. He looked me over and nodded as if satisfied.

  “Perfect. Well trained, pretty girl, to be ready for my touch anywhere I choose.” As if to underscore his words, he fondled each breast in turn, as if he had every right to enjoy me. My insides melted at his assured touch. I went softer still as he got to one knee and put his hands between my legs. He fingered my pussy, stroking up and down the slit. Then two fingers pushed within, claiming that too. I quaked to be played with, my body his to explore. To control.

  He smirked as I shuddered. “Is the dildo in your room?” he asked. “In the usual place?”

  “Yes,” I whispered. I wasn’t sure if I was excited or disappointed to hear he planned to use the toy on me. I kind of wanted the real thing. But I said nothing as he went to my sleeping room and returned with the vibrator Katrina had given me for Christmas, along with the bottle of lubricating gel I thought I probably didn’t need. I was so wet I thought I must be dripping.

  “On all fours, head on the floor, ass in the air,” he said.

  I obeyed. I heard the sound of him squirting gel. A moment later, the slick push of the dildo eased into my pussy a couple of inches. It retreated a little then forged in again, a little more than before.

  In and out, in and out. Betra made me take more of the vibrator a little at a time, slowly fucking me with the toy until it was embedded to the controls. Filling me. He turned it on, and it shivered to life, humming inside my sheath.

  “You will resume your earlier position, up on your knees, legs spread, hands behind your neck,” Betra said. “You will keep that pussy tight, not allowing the dildo to fall out. If it does come out, you will be punished.”

  Ah hell. With the vibrator tapered like a Kalquorian cock, coated liberally with gel and me slick enough to lube the transport’s engine parts, there was no way I would be able to keep the dildo from slipping out of my pussy. I would lose. Which was the point.

  I’d no sooner started to straighten when the dildo began to slip. I clenched my pussy as hard as I could, trying not to disobey so soon in the game. I only slowed its progress. I managed to straighten up before it slid through my drenched folds. Two seconds later, it hit the floor with a solid thunk.

  “I see you are not a well-behaved slave,” Betra sighed. “Face down again.”

  Dread and anticipation chasing through my belly, I did as I was told. The first thing Betra did was insert the vibrator once more. It sat right on the hot spot at the front of my sheath, making my toes curl. Damn it, I wanted to fuck.

  “Bad little slave,” Betra said. The floor creaked as he moved. His hand settled between my shoulders, so I figured out he’d knelt next to me.

  There was a loud cracking sound. One ass cheek blazed in hideous agony. I cried out, the first tears prickling my eyes. But Betra’s palm whacking my butt had made the vibrator shift, bringing a cascade of sublime excitement through my pussy. The heat of his strike pulsed deep within me. Knowing I had to remain still, to give myself over for the spanking, drove the excitement higher.

  He struck the other ass cheek. More hurt. More effervescent thrills bubbling in my gut. I moaned, my body a riot of desire.

  The spanking was thorough, his hard hand not missing an inch of my aching rear. My pussy clutched rhythmically at the vibrator, trying to fuck the damned thing. I sobbed in anguished need, wanting sex for real.

  He sat back and rubbed his palm over my punished flesh, re-igniting the sensations that had me going crazy. “What a lovely ass. It needed a good wearing out, didn’t it? Up on your knees.”

  If I’d been wet before, I was a sopping mess now. No good could come of this, but I couldn’t disobey him either. Besides, who was I kidding? He could have punished me all day long and I would have enjoyed it.

  So I went up on my knees. Before I was even halfway up – thunk. Dildo down and out.

  Betra shook his head, his face disappointed. His eyes were laughing, however. I could smell his amusement as sure as I could his arousal. What a rogue.

  “I see the spanking had no effect on you,” he sighed. “Fine. On your back, bad girl.”

  I obeyed. Because I thought he wanted me to, I kept my fingers laced behind my neck, my elbows out wide. My legs too, though I hissed and raised my rump to get the hurting part off the floor. Betra tsked me. He put his palm flat on my belly, insisting I make painful contact. The burning ache drove deep inside, turning into something shockingly exciting.

  He smiled fondly at my pussy, picked up the vibrator, and pushed it back inside me. He patted me, letting my clit feel contact with his fingers. I arched and whimpered at the throb. He leaned forward and gave the swollen bit a light kiss. “Such a pretty pussy.”

  He used his thumbs to pull at the folds of my labia, inspecting how the dildo snuggled inside the inner lips. He rubbed on the outside of them, bringing them into intense contact with the thrumming toy. “That’s my girl. Getting nice and swollen for me. I’d like to see your pussy a little more swollen, though. You’re going to be so good and tight when I shove my cock in you.”

  He pumped the dildo in and out, watching as he made me take it. Feeling myself very much on display, I couldn’t keep from squirming.

  “So wet,” he murmured as he fucked me with the vibe. “I don’t know if I’ve ever seen you so wet. You smell divine.”

  He bent down, his lips parting, tongue peeking out. My heart froze in my chest as I felt his breath on me down there. And then his tongue ran up one side of my pulsing slit, going all the way up to circle my straining clit. He kept pleasuring me with the dildo while he teased my most sensitive flesh.

  My feet r
ose in the air, kicking. It was like a part of me was trying to run away from the wonderful torment Betra subjected me to. It was almost too much to be endured. My nerve endings felt like they were frazzling, going into overload.

  He peeked up at me and paused to grin. “I’m going to shove my cocks in and pound you until you scream from coming so hard.”

  Before I could find the sense to reply, he went back at my clit with that talented tongue. My legs kicked again, then hung suspended in the air, shaking violently. Hell, my insides quaked just as hard. He was destroying me with pleasure.

  A wet finger traced over my tighter entrance, teasing the rosette. Then he pushed in, demanding I surrender myself to him. I did so, opening to let this new invader inside.