While You Slept

by R. J. Parker

  ‘They’re not ready yet.’

  ‘Just come and sit at the table.’

  Maisie sighed and slid out her chair.

  Lily had replaced the vent plate and slid her chair back under the table. She put the fishfingers under the grill and was relieved when the gas hissed as she turned it on.

  She cooked them thoroughly and put them on a plate on her side of the table.

  ‘I’ll get ketchup.’ Maisie was about to leave the table.

  ‘No ketchup.’ Lily didn’t trust that.

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘Just eat them on their own. No more talking.’

  Maisie pouted and reached out to take one.

  Lily dragged the plate back further from her reach and sat. ‘I’ll try one first.’

  ‘You don’t like fishfingers.’

  ‘I do.’ She didn’t. But she knew what they were meant to taste like. She examined the fishfinger, blew on it and held it to her lips.

  Maisie waited.

  She doubted it was poisoned. Rules had been set out for the days ahead. But she wasn’t about to trust anything he said. Lily took a small bite off the end of the fishfinger and tentatively tasted it. It was bland stodge. Could it really have been laced with something? She chewed the morsel, hesitated and then swallowed.

  Chapter 25

  Maisie being dragged away from Lily was like the worst, most vividly detailed tableau. Lily’s fingers clasping the shoulder of her daughter’s tee shirt, the cotton stretched, Maisie’s expression of shock and pain as she was yanked from her mother’s grip.

  ‘Let her go!’ he growled through his teeth. His fingers were locked tight around Maisie’s arm and briefly her daughter’s feet lifted from the floor. ‘Maisie, come with me!’ He angled his body towards the door.

  It had become a tug of war.

  The scream Maisie emitted branded the moment on Lily’s brain. The cry not just a sound of alarm and pain, but of permanent injury. Maisie’s expression wasn’t just frightened. There was a new confusion there; she was part of a moment she couldn’t comprehend.

  But Lily could see that he was unperturbed. Taking Maisie was his only agenda, whatever damage it caused. She maintained her grip on Maisie’s other arm. She wouldn’t allow him to take her. Not now. Not ever.

  But then something worse happened. The sound that silenced the struggle. The low click as Maisie’s arm had been pulled on too hard.

  They both froze then, knowing it had gone too far.

  Ewan released Maisie’s hand as if she’d given him an electric shock. But more like he didn’t want to be blamed for what had just happened.

  It was that expression that made Lily’s mind up about removing Ewan’s right to be Maisie’s father. When things became ugly, when the courts entered the picture, Lily told herself she should picture that exact moment. But she never had to because that sound and Maisie’s expression never left her.

  All the anger left Ewan’s face in an instant and he became a frightened child too. He retreated from them both, distancing himself so nothing that had transpired could possibly be anything to do with him.

  Maisie hadn’t cried. She’d been suspended in that moment when her parents had almost broken her. She didn’t speak until the following day. A week later Maisie’s therapy with Doctor Hart began.

  ***

  Lily opened her eyes. She was staring at the mauve wall beside her bed. Momentarily she’d forgotten her situation and closed her eyelids against the sickening memory. But the present pushed it out. There was a new threat to deal with. The previous day’s assault on the window still ached in her arms.

  Her back was cold. Maisie. She turned quickly to find the space in the mattress next to her was empty.

  Her daughter’s half of the duvet had been thrown back.

  ‘Maisie?’ She immediately swung her legs out of bed but had to pause. The room rocked before her. Lily didn’t wait for it to settle before staggering across the carpet to the door. ‘Maisie, answer me!’

  No response.

  Lily stumbled across the hallway to Maisie’s open room door. Her bed was still made. When exhaustion had overtaken her Lily had settled her into her double bed and eventually fallen asleep beside her.

  She’d put the hammer and knife under her pillow, fought drowsiness as long as she could. What time had that been? What time was it now? She was still wearing her nightwear over her clothes and pulled the phone out of her robe and squinted blearily at the screen.

  06:23

  ‘Maisie!’ She checked the bathroom. Empty. Lily dizzily zigzagged down the hallway. It was how she’d felt when she’d woken in her prison the morning before. Only worse. She entered the kitchen, breath awaiting its release from her chest. No Maisie. ‘Maisie, answer me!’

  Lily’s heart punched her ribcage as she waited. But she could only hear the low howl of wind blowing through the floors above her. She swung to the camera over the door. ‘Give her back to me!’

  I’m afraid I still have to remove privileges though.

  When had he taken her? How had he? Lily’s mind raced and the room swung. He’d drugged her.

  She found the number he’d contacted her on and dialled.

  It rang four times before it was answered.

  ‘The person you are calling is unavailable at the moment. Please leave a message after the tone,’ the recorded female voice said.

  Lily waited for it to beep and looked up at the camera, concentrating, keeping her tone level. ‘Please, please, please, give her back.’ She felt her legs shudder and wobble. ‘I don’t care what you do to me. Please, don’t harm her. I’ll do anything you want. Anything. Don’t touch her, please.’ She continued to plead, her words becoming a blur, spittle flecking the mouthpiece.

  She eventually heard another beep.

  ‘If you wish to re-record the message press one.’

  He was torturing her. She stared unblinking at the camera. ‘I know you can hear me. This is punishment enough. You’ve made your point. I won’t touch the window again. Just give her back to me!’ She wanted to fall to her knees. Wanted to curl up on the floor. Whatever was in her system spun the kitchen around her. But she remained upright, her body trembling and swaying.

  She waited for a reaction, anticipating the phone buzzing in her hand. But the only sound was the rushing in her head. ‘Bastard!’ She hurled the phone at the camera, but it missed and struck the top of the door frame and landed on the kitchen tiles with a crack.

  Lily ran to where it lay and quickly picked it up. The screen was fractured but the display was still illuminated. There was no dial tone. He’d jammed the signal again. Or had she broken it? Who could she call anyway? Nobody could help her. She looked directly up at the lens, her chest pumping as she fought for breath. ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry.’ She squeezed her eyes shut but the room spun faster.

  You have to calm down.

  But her breathing became more erratic. Where was Maisie? Who was she with? She couldn’t begin to imagine how frightened she would be. ‘Ewan, if this is you, let her come back to me.’ A tear trickled from her left eye. ‘You can do anything you want to me but just let me know she’s all right.’

  She dropped. Fell onto her knees beneath the camera. Her strength was gone. Whether it was the drug or the feeling of total powerlessness she didn’t know. At that moment, she felt everything drain out of her.

  Lily screwed her eyes shut, let the tears drop onto the tiles and wished she could wake from this nightmare back to the one she’d already been inhabiting.

  Chapter 26

  When Lily got up off the tiles, she looked at her cracked phone.

  06:47

  It felt like a couple of hours had passed. Her accelerated thoughts had conceived of every horrible scenario she could do nothing about. She wiped the moisture from her eyes with the back of her hand and sniffed harshly. She had to pull herself together.

  She marched to the front door and thumped it. ‘Let me out of here! Le
t me see her now!’ Her arms still ached from yesterday, but she beat on the panel harder. ‘Open it!’ She didn’t wait for a response, just kept pounding, felt the solid pain in her fists and shoulders. She was punishing herself.

  Lily stopped when she felt light-headed and stumbled back a few paces from the door. The veins beat in her head, but she didn’t want them to slow down, didn’t want to let the silence back in. Had Maisie been taken away from the building? Could she be imprisoned in a floor above or below or in a room next door?

  ‘Maisie!’ She yelled as hard as she could. ‘I’m here, sweetie! Don’t worry! I’m right here!’

  Her words reverberated around the rooms of her empty prison.

  Images popped into her mind. Unbidden pictures of where she could be. Lily couldn’t shake the clip of the intruder in the garden wearing a mask of her daughter’s face.

  She tried the phone again. No dial tone. Please God he was making a point about her obedience in the future. Or was this her ultimate punishment? She couldn’t swallow.

  She slid her back down the lounge door, closed her eyes and gritted her teeth against a feeling of hopelessness so overwhelming she thought she might pass out. ‘I’ve learnt my lesson.’ She nodded for the camera. ‘She’s just a child. Don’t use her to—’ The words died in her throat.

  She tried to inhale and breathe out, but the idea of being unable to reach her daughter when she would be so obviously petrified kept jump-starting her heartbeat.

  Lily could feel his eyes on her. How could he watch this? She wondered if he’d always planned this moment, irrespective of her behaviour. She wanted to trash her prison. Smash up every single item that he’d painstakingly replicated. But she couldn’t afford to endanger Maisie any more than she was. All she could do was plead.

  ‘Please, let her go.’ She repeated the words, her eyes still closed.

  Lily remained against the door for twenty minutes saying the same over and over. Then the phone buzzed in her hand. Sitting bolt upright, she immediately answered. ‘Hello?’

  There was nobody the other end. She examined the display. A message had arrived. But when she opened the text there were no words.

  It was a dark photo image.

  Lily could see that it was Maisie’s face. At least, one half of it. The camera had been held very close to her so only her eye, her nose and her top lip were in shot. Her eyelid was closed.

  Her fingers went to her mouth and her palm blocked her exclamation. The hallway canted but it was nothing to do with what she’d been drugged with.

  Had the camera caught Maisie mid blink? Was she asleep? Had she been drugged too and was unconscious? She’d rather that be the case than think of her daughter aware of the situation she was in and knowing that her mother couldn’t help her.

  Lily tried to repel the question that begged to be asked. Her fingers shook as she wiped at her tears and tried to focus.

  The phone buzzed again. A text message this time.

  Lily quickly opened it.

  More images to follow. If you behave.

  Chapter 27

  Several hours passed and Lily didn’t budge from her position at the lounge door. She’d considered moving to the blind spot under the kitchen doorway so her captor couldn’t watch her on either of the cameras, but figured he wanted to observe her mental anguish. She wouldn’t deprive him of that, not if it meant he might return Maisie to her.

  Lily’s fingers gripped the phone tight, her knuckles white and arms still painful from the impacts on the door. Her legs jumped and twitched, the idea that her daughter could be getting further away from her burning in her stomach and triggering the spasms while she kept telling herself to remain calm and that all she could do was wait.

  She continued to count the seconds of each minute and anticipated another image arriving, willing the phone to buzz but not wanting it to either.

  Her dizziness had passed but that made her reality seem even more raw. How could somebody detest her so much that they’d want to put her through this? Could this really be Ewan? Would she rather that be the case than consider it could be a stranger? Lily knew Ewan could never harm Maisie. Never again. That was something she could cling to. Ewan had wanted a second child. They’d been trying for one when everything had fallen apart.

  Could the man on the phone really be in her ex-husband’s employ? Maybe what she’d seen in his eyes the very last time she’d spoken to him should have been a warning.

  She’d been taking Maisie to swimming on a Saturday morning and Ewan had been standing on the other side of the road. At first, Lily had scarcely recognised him. Had thought he was a homeless man. He’d lost a lot of weight and had grown a beard. He’d never had a full-grown beard before. His normally neatly cut auburn hair had grown down over his ears and hung in his eyes. He was wearing his old army fatigue jacket, jeans and boots.

  He’d held up his hands as soon as he’d known she’d recognised him.

  ‘You’re not allowed to be here.’ Not within a mile of them.

  He started crossing the road. ‘Please. It’s just us now.’

  Lily turned back to the front door and Maisie was standing frozen on the step, her expression pensive.

  ‘Hey, Twinkles. How have you been?’

  When Lily returned her attention to Ewan he was quickly crossing the road. ‘Wait,’ she said firmly to him. But Lily didn’t want to spark an argument in front of Maisie.

  Ewan met her eye as he reached their side and there was pleading there. ‘Please, just a minute.’

  What could she do? But why was he breaking the terms of his restraining order?

  ‘I just needed to see how you were doing.’ His gaze was on Maisie again.

  ‘I’m OK.’ She remained in front of the door.

  He opened his arms, but she didn’t move. ‘Come on then.’

  Maisie looked to Lily and she nodded that it was OK.

  She went to him and he embraced her and kissed her cheek.

  Lily noted that Maisie remained stiff but then returned the hug. It had only been four months since the incident. Maisie had been examined by the doctor immediately afterwards and he’d said she’d only pulled the muscle in her shoulder. Lily had told Ewan to stay away from them, that he should find somewhere else to stay until she was ready to talk to him. He’d obeyed, but had phoned every day to find out how Maisie was.

  He’d spoken to Maisie and his daughter’s attitude towards him had markedly changed. It was clear to Lily that she was frightened of him. Maisie never got to see him coming in drunk from work, but as soon as it had impacted on her safety Lily knew she couldn’t make excuses for him. She’d seen it happen with her friend. Julie Medlocke had given her ex so many chances and told Lily she regretted not picking up the phone to her solicitor three years earlier.

  ‘Where are you two going?’ Ewan asked Maisie breezily.

  ‘Splash Zone,’ Maisie said to her shoes.

  ‘Cool. Do you want me to come?’

  What was he doing?

  Maisie turned to Lily and there was panic in her eyes.

  Ewan caught it. ‘Maybe next time.’

  Even though Lily was aghast at what he was trying to do she could see how mortified he was by how Maisie had reacted. ‘Why don’t you get in the car. I’ll just talk to Daddy for a minute and then we’ll get going.’

  Maisie nodded, scurried past Ewan without looking at him and got in the back.

  Lily closed the door and moved away from the car.

  Ewan followed and was looking at the pavement.

  Lily had been about to placate him, was going to tell him that it would take time for Maisie to trust him again. At that point she’d believed her daughter would. She knew they were over but she wanted Ewan to be part of Maisie’s life, however they negotiated that.

  But when Ewan looked up at her there was only undiluted enmity in his gaze. ‘You’ve turned her against me then,’ he stated with finality.

  ‘No.’ But his contempla
tion of her was just so ugly. ‘No. She just needs time.’ She wanted to step away from him.

  ‘More time with you? Yeah, I can see why you’d say that.’

  ‘Listen …’ He’d caught Lily off-guard. It was what he’d planned. ‘I just need her to feel secure before I ask her to be part of this again.’

  ‘Secure? Are you saying I’m a danger to my own daughter?’

  ‘No.’ But she paused before she answered.

  He shook his head at her in disgust, hooded his eyes as if he couldn’t look at her. ‘And what is “this”?’

  Lily darted her eyes to the car. Maisie was looking out at them through the back window. ‘You’re upsetting her again.’

  Ewan didn’t turn to look at her. ‘Don’t use her so you don’t have to speak to me.’

  ‘What are you talking about?’

  ‘The restraining order. That’s not about what happened with Maisie.’

  ‘Isn’t it?’ Lily raised her voice. She lowered it again. ‘So tell me, what is it about, if it’s not me having Maisie examined at the hospital.’

  ‘Don’t use that either.’

  ‘Did I pull Maisie’s arm?’

  ‘Yes, you did. You were pulling on her other arm while I was trying to leave.’

  Lily glanced over at Maisie again. ‘Look, we can’t do this here.’

  He shook his head. ‘Or anywhere else. That’s very convenient for you, isn’t it?’

  ‘You have to go.’

  He leaned closer to her face. ‘And when are we going to talk about the real issue here?’

  She could smell the stale alcohol. ‘There is only one issue. Our daughter.’

  ‘No, that’s what you want it to be. What you want everyone to think it is.’

  ‘And what do you think is more important to me than Maisie’s welfare?’

  ‘The life you want. The one you’ll have next. With him.’

  Lily opened her mouth to reply but the contempt in his eyes dared her to deny it.

  Chapter 28

  ‘How stupid d’you think I am, Lil? And take that look off your face.’