Friends With Extra Benefits

by Luke Young

  “Don’t tell me you don’t want to make it now.” He glanced down at her thighs, then pointed out to her that she was exposing herself. Looking down, she grinned. “Sorry.” She covered up with the robe.

  “I found it really hard…” he ginned. “To stay hard while mixing up the stuff anyway. I don’t think I can pull it off.”

  “I told you I’d help. I won’t even look. I’ll mix it in one room and you can get yourself ready in another. I’ll just hand you the tube and you’ll be all set.”

  “Are you sure this kit won’t send me to the hospital?”

  “I promise.” She nodded. “My guy assured me they’ve fixed the problem. You’ve got to make one for her. If you do it yourself, you won’t make the best impression, I can assure you that.”

  He looked at her, contemplating.

  “You do want yours to, you know, show all that you’ve got in your full glory, right?”

  “Well, yeah.”

  “I love mine,” she said.

  “I saw that.” He raised his eyebrows and gave her a look.

  “She’ll go nuts for it. You can even play threesome with it.”

  He stared at her, a little put off.

  “I mean, imagine filling her up with two of you?”

  “What? That sounds a little creepy.”

  “Whatever.” She shrugged. “Are you in or not?”

  Brian exhaled. “Okay. Let’s do it.”

  Victoria smiled brightly. “Great. How about next Saturday, in the afternoon, about four? I have exams all week, and I have an appointment in the morning on Saturday. But after that, I’m free.”

  “All right.”

  “I’ll tell Jillian I need you to help me move some boxes, or something.”

  “I guess it’ll be fun,” he admitted hesitantly.

  She gave him a slightly evil grin as she thought, It will be. She said, “Jillian will love it.”

  He nodded, now completely on board. Shifting position, Victoria inadvertently flashed him a view of her spectacular private areas. He closed his eyes.

  She covered up and smiled. “Sorry.” She widened her eyes with a realization. “Oh, I’m glad you’re here. Can you look at something for me?”

  “Is that outlet in your bathroom not working again?”

  “No, my ass.”

  “Your ass?”

  “Yeah,” she replied casually.

  “Really?” He cringed.

  “Yes, look I read that when you’re pregnant your anus can get really hairy. I feel the hairs down there, but I need you to tell me if they are those fine blonde hairs or those dark ugly ones.”

  “Seriously.”

  “Yes. I was trying to get a look at them with a hard mirror, but I can’t really see. I need your help.”

  “So you want me to stare into your ass and tell you what color the hair is?”

  Victoria gave him a tired look. “Yeah, unless you think that’s too much for you.”

  “What exactly are you going to do with this information?”

  “Oh, don’t worry. I’m not going to ask you to shave me or anything like that. If it’s a nightmare, I’m going to make an appointment at the spa. I just can’t stand to not know if I’m hairy back there. What if I get in an accident or something?”

  “I don’t think they’ll be studying how hairy your ass hole is if you’re in the hospital.”

  “You don’t know that… they might be.” She gave him a tired look. “Can you do this little thing for me or not?”

  “Okay.”

  Victoria smiled.

  Looking up at the ceiling, Brian breathed out deeply. “So where do you want to—” He shut up when his gaze traveled back down, and he discovered she was already bending over with her hands on the sofa, the robe pulled up and her gorgeous ass staring him right in the face.

  “Okay, so right here then,” he said while rolling his eyes.

  “Yes, here. Come on.”

  Brian made his way to her and glanced down between her shapely cheeks. “You look fine to me.”

  Victoria craned her neck around and glared at him. “You aren’t even looking. Get down there and really look at it.”

  He sighed and moved to his knees.

  “So, what does it look like? Wait, let me…” Resting her head on the cushion, Victoria used both hands to spread her cheeks apart. Her pussy and ass were splayed out before him and he stared at them mesmerized. He swallowed hard and felt something move in his shorts.

  “Wow,” he exclaimed.

  “What? Are the hairs dark, or not?”

  Brian’s expression went from one of admiration to clinical concern. “You know, you are a lot hairier then when I drew you that time in class.”

  She groaned. “I knew it.”

  “Are they dark hairs?”

  He nodded. “They are, but you still look cute.” Brian felt blood heading south as his eyes glanced down to the pink lips of her pussy. She was pulling her cheeks so far apart that her hole was also pretty wide open. Inside, he spotted how absolutely wet she was. His mind went quickly to Jillian. He wondered if she was still sleeping and exactly how wet she was at that moment.

  “But would you lick it?”

  “What?” The question brought him back to earth. “Are you asking me to lick it?”

  She let go of her cheeks, stood, covered up everything with the robe and turned to sit on the sofa. She gave him a serious look but said in a tired voice, “Yeah, I want you to lick my ass. Do you want to do it here or should we go to the bedroom?”

  “Sorry.” He grinned.

  “I meant if you were dating me and saw the condition of it would you lick it or be horrified.”

  “Oh, I’d lick it.”

  She gave him a look like she didn’t buy it. “You’re just saying that.”

  He nodded confidently with a completely straight face. “I would be all over it. You wouldn’t be able to keep my tongue out of there.”

  She grinned and then began to chuckle. He lost his serious expression and laughed along with her.

  Victoria said, “Thanks, but I’m still going to make an appointment. You want to go with me?”

  Giving her a horrified look, he said, “No f’ing way.”

  She widened her eyes. “Do you need me to check your ass?”

  He scoffed. “No, my ass is probably fine. I’m taking care of everything myself. I’m having good luck with a razor for the front parts and they might not be perfectly baby smooth or anything, but I’m never letting wax touch my junk again.”

  She grinned. “That was a fun day.”

  Brian shook his head and opened his mouth to comment but decided against it. “So, are you dating anyone?”

  “Oh, God no. But there is this professor I keep seeing around campus. I get so wet when I see him.” She paused and then added, “But then again, with the pregnancy, I’m always wet.”

  He mumbled softly, “I know.”

  “What?”

  “Oh, nothing.”

  Brian adjusted his shorts. Glancing down to his problem area, Victoria grinned. “Why don’t you run along and go see your wife?”

  He chucked and stood. “I think I will. I’ll let you get back to what you were doing, too.”

  Victoria gave him a sexy look. “Yeah, I am a little stressed out.”

  She walked him to the door. As he was stepping off the porch, she said, “Bye. Oh, and, uh, thanks for looking at my ass.”

  He turned back, smiled for a moment then his face contorted as he realized how strange that sounded. “Okay. I’ll, uh, see you.”

  “Remember Saturday.”

  Brian nodded, turned and took off running to see his wife. Victoria watched him with a grin for a moment before closing the door. She slipped off her robe, climbed back into bed and then glanced down at her David replica. She reached for it, smiled, and then decided to make a call first.

  10

  Jillian was awake, but still naked and lounging in bed when the
phone rang. “I’m glad you called. I decided against having the party.”

  “What? Why?” Victoria shot back.

  “I don’t know. It just doesn’t seem right. You really think it’s a good idea to march my new husband out with a full erection in front of a group of our friends?”

  Victoria cracked up. “I think it would be hilarious.”

  “I don’t know. I’m just—”

  “Look, I need this. I’ve had one night of sex in the last five months, and it lasted maybe twenty minutes. I haven’t even seen a real, actual penis in almost six weeks. I was doing the math the other day. I have a lot of time on my hands… I don’t sleep much. In five months, there are two hundred sixteen thousand minutes and in all that time I’ve only had a cock in my mouth for about six minutes, and the remaining fourteen minutes it was in my, you know…”

  “Oh my, I, uh—” Jillian began.

  “And not one minute in my ass. You know how much I enjoy anal sex.”

  “I know. I know, but—”

  “Do you know what percentage twenty minutes is of two hundred thousand?”

  “Uh, no. What is it?”

  “Well, it’s… it’s… I don’t know exactly, but it’s a really, really, really small percentage.”

  “I’m sure,” Jillian replied hesitantly.

  “I’ve never had such a low percentage of penis time versus non-penis time since probably high school.” Victoria continued on with an edge to her voice. “My hormones are raging… I’m constantly horny. I feel like fucking just about every guy I see. Even the not-so-attractive ones. I literally have no excitement in my life right now. I—”

  “But how is doing this going to solve your problem?”

  “I don’t know, but I put a lot of work into this already. It took me hours to retype the instructions for the penis kit. Not to mention all the planning and everything. Now, I’ve got everything set for this Saturday. Everyone is invited, and Brian is coming over at four. In fact, Brian was just here. We were going over the details of the whole hot tub thing he’s planning to pull on you.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes, really. He can’t wait to get you back. He was practically foaming at the mouth.”

  Jillian remained silent as she contemplated. Victoria shook her head, then added, “Okay, fine. I guess I’ll tell him that your party is off. I’ll make up some excuse. He’ll probably figure out some other way to get you back, so don’t come whining to me when he does, because I’m done. That’s it. I keep giving and giv—”

  “Wait a second. Maybe we—”

  “Just have him call me when he gets in.”

  “No, wait. Let’s do it.”

  Victoria didn’t say a word as a grin spread across her face.

  Jillian repeated, “I’m serious. Let’s do it.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes.”

  “Don’t you dare pull out of this now.”

  “I won’t.”

  “Great. I need to go and take care of something, but I’ll call you later to confirm all the details.”

  Jillian shook her head, suddenly regretting her decision.

  Victoria glanced down at her dildo, then remembered, “Oh, by the way, I’m pretty sure your husband is coming home to have sex with you.”

  “How do you know?”

  “We were talking about sex, and his shorts seemed to be a little crowded, if you know what I mean, when he walked out of here. Actually, I think he was running.”

  Jillian heard the front door open. “There he is. I’d better go.”

  She hung up the phone and grinned.

  Jillian pushed the covers down to her thighs and lay face down on the mattress with her legs spread wide. Brian arrived at the bedroom door and stopped in his tracks when he saw the sight of his gorgeous wife’s breathtaking ass.

  He softly said, “Jillian.”

  She didn’t move and just wiggled her hips a bit as she groaned as if in the midst of a spectacular sex dream. Moving closer, he pulled off his shirt and whispered, “Jillian are you awake?”

  Jillian moaned softly and turned her head to the side. Her eyes remained closed, and she breathed out deeply. He grinned and slipped his shoes and the rest of his clothes off.

  “Oh Brian,” she cried out quietly. He moved closer, and she finished that thought when she whispered, “… lick my pussy.”

  He grinned. He didn’t need to be asked twice. After pulling the covers off her completely, he carefully climbed over her so his penis was hanging down on her back. He studied her beautiful parts for a moment before plunging his head down between her legs.

  She remained in her faux dream state for about five minutes while he explored every inch of her pussy with his tongue and fingers. After that, she pretended to awaken as she felt his erection slipping down past her cheek. She took him into her mouth, and they performed some acrobatic style sixty-nine for the next ten minutes or so, which resulted in huge climaxes and stiff necks for both.

  Afterward, as they lay in bed together, she nuzzled up on his chest. He stared at the ceiling while running his fingers gently over her lower back. The guilt washed over him as he replayed the conversation with Victoria in his mind.

  Jillian placed a gentle kiss on his chest. “That was amazing. I love you.”

  “I know,” he replied in an irritated voice. Realizing his inappropriate tone, he said softly, “I mean, I love you too.”

  After taking a deep breath, he said, “There’s something I need to tell you.”

  Jillian stared up at him, waiting.

  “You know how we planned to go to Victoria’s on your birthday, and I was going to give you that massage, and we were going to get naked in the hot tub.”

  She sat up in bed and listened intently. “Yeah.”

  He gave her a hesitant look. “Well…”

  “What is it? What’s on your mind?”

  He grimaced and then stammered, “It… it was all a trick to get you over there and get you back for the whole policewoman thing.”

  Gazing up at her apprehensively, he waited, dreading her response.

  She painted on a surprised look. “Really?”

  “Yes, I’m not proud of it. I was going to get you to go back into the house, and it was going to be full of all your friends. Victoria, of course, was going to help.”

  She glared at him in mock anger. “You’re a very bad boy.”

  “I know. I’m sorry.”

  “And what… the way I just took care of you made you decide just now not to do it?”

  “No, I decided last night.”

  “Really.”

  “Yeah, I already spoke to Victoria and called it off.”

  “But she… Wait. I just talked to her on the phone, and she said you were foaming at the mouth to do it. She said it was still on.”

  Brian gave her an incredulous look. “She told you about this? That little witch.” Shaking his head, he stared across the room. “I even looked at her asshole for her, and she—”

  “You looked at her ass?” Her eyes widened.

  He replied casually, “Yeah, she just wanted me to check how hairy she was getting.”

  Jillian nodded matter-of-factly and then looked confused. “Wait… what?”

  He ignored the question. “I wonder what the hell she’s planning. If she’s lying about this, maybe she’s trying to get us both in some—”

  After exhaling deeply, Jillian said, “I know exactly what she’s planning.”

  “You do. What is it?”

  “I have a confession of my own.” She gave him a sorrowful look as she asked hesitantly, “So, how’d it go yesterday when you, uh, tried to make that replica of your penis?”

  Brian’s face dropped. “She told you!”

  Jillian nodded. “Did you hurt yourself?”

  He scoffed. “Almost.”

  “She did something to your kit.”

  “Holy shit. Are you serious?” Brian asked as he sat up on
the edge of the mattress.

  “Yes, she did. She changed the directions, or something.”

  With the gears turning in his brain, Brian’s face morphed into one of realization. “She wants to help me make this thing. I knew she was up to something.”

  “Did you really?”

  “Well, no, but—” he admitted, feeling like a giant idiot.

  She paused a moment. “You know that policewoman thing was ninety-nine percent her idea also.”

  “She told me it was mostly your idea.”

  Nodding, not at all surprised, she added casually, “She lied. And I’ll bet this hot tub thing was her idea.”

  “It was!”

  “She was going to parade you out in front of everyone with an erection… somehow.”

  He shook his head and took a deep breath. “We’re a couple of morons, and she’s this genius puppet master. We’re just pawns in her little evil game.”

  “She’s a little bored. She’s not getting laid.”

  Brian narrowed his eyes. “I don’t give a shit if she’s not getting any action. She shouldn’t go around screwing with people like this. She needs another freaking hobby.”

  Jillian nodded her head in agreement as they stared at each other, both feeling stupid. As the anger boiled up in Brian, she looked away, contemplating their options.

  He said, “I’m going over there right now to give her—”

  “No.”

  “Why not?” He stared at her gape-mouthed.

  Returning an evil grin, Jillian said, “Don’t say anything to her. She wants you over there on Saturday, right?”

  “Yeah.” He gave her a confused look.

  “Here’s what we’re going to do…”

  Brian was all ears.

  Over the next few days, Jillian and Brian spent hours planning their mission, code-named Operation Erection Shield. The name was Brian’s idea; since the previous one was called Erection Storm, it just made sense.

  Jillian avoided seeing Victoria for the entire week because she feared, in person, she would probably give something away. She did, however, spend a lot of time on the phone with the pregnant schemer as they plotted the events of Victoria’s original master plan.

  11

  That Friday afternoon in Philadelphia, Caroline fidgeted in her seat, bored out of her mind as her professor droned on about social media’s impact on marketing in the Internet age. Pulling her phone from her purse, she checked the time. Still fifteen minutes to go. She scrolled through pictures and stopped on an image of Jim, shirtless, playing tennis. She stared closely at his firm, muscular, sweaty body as she ran her tongue around her lips. The previous night, they were supposed to do it but didn’t. They ended up falling asleep instead, but now she wasn’t tired, and she wanted to do it. She really wanted to do it.