Teach Me: Sinful Desires

by Sienna Mynx

“NO.” she moved away from him, scooting to the edge of the bed, fighting his hands. “I’m leaving in the morning. I don’t want to see you in the morning. Get out.”

  “Destini, I never said I didn’t love you.”

  “GO.”

  She heard him shuffling about the room and dressing. Her plan had failed. The minute she said she loved him she failed. Now the truth was out there. How could she be right where she started, alone?

  Twenty-One

  The city of Cape Cod Bay was wet. Sidewalks, cars, streets, people, everything was slickly covered with the fresh-fallen rain. Destini shook out her umbrella. She’d paid the cab, but the bellhop looked at her greedily while he loaded her bags onto the rack. She stepped out of the way of the rain; still the wind blew moisture her way. The only cover would be the hotel. She’d dig in her purse in the elevator. Right now, she just wanted to be anything but wet.

  “Destini?”

  Turning in the hotel lobby, she scanned the faces of people milling about in the Hyatt. One handsome face became clear and friendly. It was Russell. She smiled as he approached. She wished she’d worn her hair in a ponytail. She suffered the worst case of frizzes now. “Hi.”

  “You look good, Destini,” he said kissing her cheek.

  “Thank you. I’m wet,” she grinned. “Did you just get here?”

  “Yesterday. The doctors and all.”

  “Oh, I thought I was going to go to the doctor with you.”

  “I decided to spare you that. Being here is enough. How about dinner?”

  Russell stared at her, and she nervously shifted her eyes away. The bellhop glared. Obviously there were tips to be made, and she was delaying his payday. “Well, I think I should check in first.”

  “Oh yes, how about a pre-dinner drink? They have a nice bar,” Russell asked.

  “Um, sure. Give me a few minutes to dry off.”

  “Sure,” Russell said, and stepped back without turning. Finally he did, but glanced back twice at her, smiling. Destini smiled back. She apologized to the bellhop. It was another habit she wished she’d break, but never failed to backslide into. Cursing herself, she went to the receptionist, got her room key, and headed for the elevators. The lift was made of glass. It carried her up to the eleventh floor. She and Naiya were to have rooms next to each other. She looked forward to seeing Naiya. She missed her deeply.

  Once inside, she tipped the bellhop generously, and he finally flashed her a smile before leaving. Destini walked through the room, nothing much to it. Double beds, orange and brown curtains that matched the tacky bed covers, and an oversized television were standard. She dropped on her bed and sighed.

  Reaching for her purse, she fished out her phone and turned it on. She hadn’t turned it on since she left for the airport. She didn’t want to talk to him. Now she couldn’t help but hope that he had called. The purple light flashed to indicate she had new messages. She checked and saw she had three texts. Her finger hovered over the button. Her eyes glued themselves to his name. She decided against it. She needed this break. And torturing herself over his words and empty gestures wouldn’t help.

  Destini rose and shed her raincoat. She found a hanger in the closet. She paused at her image on the mirrored door. She looked haggard. Why Russell didn’t run screaming when he saw her, she’d never know. Her hair was a frizzy puff, and her clothes sagged on her. Her makeup was runny around her eyes and her lips were a pink blush where the lip-gloss was. She shook her head. Friend or not, she couldn’t meet him dressed this way. Destini grabbed the handle of her suitcase and dragged it inside the bathroom.

  ***

  Russell wasn’t at the bar as he’d promised. He was seated at a table near the piano man. He sipped a beer, staring at nothing. But he must have sensed her. His eyes lifted and he smiled. Destini sucked down a deep breath. She strolled toward him, trying to keep a pleasant smile to her face. But that light in Russell’s eyes as he watched her approach made her hate herself. She knew Russell was vulnerable with his illness and convinced he had feelings for her. She knew how Bryce despised the man for being able to say what the words ‘I love you’ when he couldn’t. What was she really doing teasing the past and ignore the present?

  What indeed, Destini? You think a drink or two and some flirting will make you forget the man and secret life you left in Manchester Hills? The one you can’t seem to stop thinking about, even now? I think not.

  “Russell, hi.”

  “Well, you sure do clean up nicely,” he said, rising to take her hand and help her to her seat. She smiled and exhaled. Russell was never this attentive and sweet when they were together. “I hear they serve dinner here in the hotel restaurant.”

  He signaled for the waitress. “I’d prefer to eat somewhere in the city. If you’re open to it?”

  “Ah, no, well... there’s something I need to tell you.”

  “Oh?” he asked curiously.

  “Naiya’s coming. I invited her,” Destini said.

  “I see. Can I ask why? She’s not a fan of mine,” Russell said hiding his disappointment with a coy smile.

  “Because I don’t want to confuse anything between us. I’m here as your friend. Nothing else,” she said.

  “The lady will have—”

  “A dirty martini,” she said.

  The waitress with bubblegum pink lips and too much mascara nodded. She walked off. Destini let her gaze sweep the lounge. She saw several people arriving. It was safe to assume that most of them were travellers like herself.

  “So how are things in Manchester Hills?”

  “Things are good. And you? How’s your business?”

  “Hollow without you there to encourage me. You always made me feel like a champion. I miss that.”

  Destini looked back, wondering where the martini was. Suddenly she was parched.

  “Destini?”

  “Yes?”

  “About the cancer—”

  “Russell, let’s not talk about it tonight. I want you to be able to relax, stress free. Feel like a champion,” she smiled.

  “I never deserved you,” he said in a solemn tone. “The sweeter you were to me the crueler I was.” He lifted his gaze up to her. “And then one day I woke up and found out my life could be over. Like that!” he snapped his fingers. “Suddenly every mistake, every regret was crystal clear. You are my biggest regret Destini.”

  “Please don’t,” Destini sighed. She was tired of men and their insecurities. She was just tired of men period. And where was her damn drink?

  “I don’t have cancer,” he said.

  Floored she blinked at him. “What? What do you mean you don’t have cancer?”

  “I had a scare. They thought it could be testicular cancer. When I came to see you I was afraid it was. But soon after I found out it wasn’t. By then you had let me back into your life. We were talking, emailing, I had my friend back.” He glanced up at her briefly and lowered his gaze back to his drink. “I know you were being kind but I had to hold out to hope that if you saw me differently you’d take me seriously.”

  “I’m such an idiot,” she reached for her purse to stand.

  “No! Wait Destini. Please,” Russell took hold of her arm. “Have dinner with me. If I can’t have you again then give me closure.”

  “You’re still the same selfish bastard you always were! Cancer! You made me think you were dying!” she shouted. Several heads turned.

  “I love you! I lost you! I would say I had leprosy if it meant I could have you again!” he shouted back.

  Destini glared, then smiled, then laughed. Russell looked around and at her confused by her laughter. “Men. All of you spoiled boys who will do anything to be in control. I can’t even believe I was ever in love with you. That you made me feel so useless. I can’t believe I even trusted you,” Destini laughed. “I feel like I’m on this wheel of insanity and it just keeps spinning and spinning! I’m so sick of it.”

  “Does that mean yes?” he asked.

&
nbsp; Destini accepted her martini and through it in Russell’s face. A woman next to them at the bar gasped. Russell double blinked. He plucked a cocktail napkin and dabbed his face and smiled.

  “I deserve that,” he said.

  “You damn right you do. And I deserve closure. This will be the last night I ever see you again. Do you hear me? We’re done.”

  “If this is my last night. Can I say how it ends?” he chuckled.

  Destini rolled her eyes. The waitress came over giving him a cloth napkin to wipe his face and suit. “How about we get out of here? No need to talk. We can go anywhere. To celebrate me being cancer free. To give a toast to the new Destini. To end things on a better note than we did before? Please.”

  She relaxed. “Fine. You owe me dinner you jackass.”

  He helped her up from her chair. His touch was firm but caring. When his hand wasn’t on her arm, it rested at the small of her back. Destini should have asked him to move his hand away. But she didn’t bother. She felt nothing when he touched her. She decided to just go with the night. And she did. From his whisking her away in his rental, to his talking her into a walk on the boardwalk while they ate chili-cheese hotdogs. Destini found herself laughing. Russell always had a way of making her do that. He joked about everything from the looks they got from an older couple, who apparently didn’t think an interracial couple on a late-night stroll was a pleasant sight. It was even funny to see the dog humping the leg of a homeless man sprawled out drunk in a side alley. He talked and she listened. With the wind blowing over her and the sounds of the night mixing in, she felt freer. She felt like she could breathe. She didn’t blame Russell for being Russell. She didn’t hate him or wish him ill. She liked being able to detach herself from any sense of obligation and just be her.

  “I got some news, something you should know. It was my surprise for you. I guess it was how I thought I could pull you back in.”

  Destini’s brows lifted. “I’m never coming back in.” She wiped some chili from his chin with her napkin and then tossed the napkin in a bin. “Ever!”

  He laughed. “Yes. Destin. I get it. We’re over. But I still have good news.”

  Destini turned and leaned on the fence lining the boardwalk. She looked out at the water sparkling under the moon. “Now I’m curious. What is it?”

  “I sent your last book to a publisher friend of mine.”

  “What?” Destini eyeballs nearly fell out of their sockets. She felt her heart hammering in her chest. “Why would you do that?”

  “Because you’re talented. And because that small e-book press will never get you the audience you need. He’s interested. Very interested. I’m talking a six figure book deal interested.”

  “You’re lying!”

  “Not about this baby. You can meet with him yourself. I was going to surprise you with the meeting tomorrow, but I think you can handle it on your own. Or take Naiya. It’s your dream Destini. The world knows who you are, and you don’t have to hide your passion anymore. I may have fucked up with you, lost your trust, but I never stopped loving you.”

  “Russell... oh my goodness! Oh my goodness!” she leapt into his arms, kicking her feet and squealing. He seized the moment to kiss her. Though she pushed at his shoulders to stop it, she had to admit it was nice. She smiled and hugged his neck. “Thank you Russell. You have no idea how much I needed to have this now.”

  She felt him snuggling her neck and she allowed it. Again, it felt nice.

  ***

  Bryce had slipped into the cigar bar. He could see them clearly from the front picture window. And when they kissed, he nearly charged out. He would have if the waitress hadn’t stepped in front of him, smacking on her gum, and asking to help him.

  Bryce looked on in disbelief. The bastard held her too close and worst, she allowed it because she believed he was sick with cancer. He saw her in the bar with him and thought it was wrong to approach when she tossed her drink into his face. He actually chuckled. His Destini was no pushover. He expected her to return to her room and he’d surprise her there. To his disappointment the two of them laughed over the incident. And then the drinks didn’t end there. And here was the proof. She intended to leave him. Glaring at them with such raw pain, he fought to maintain his breathing. The waitress moved on. He dropped a shoulder on the window to the front of the bar and shook his head with heavy sadness.

  ***

  She forced her way from his arms, grinning. “I can’t believe it. I seriously can’t.”

  “Why? You are the most talented romance author I know.”

  “Well how many romance authors do you know?” she laughed.

  “Not many,” he admitted.

  “Wow, how can you be such a jackass one minute and then a prince the next,” she joked, playfully hitting his arm. He faked hurt, holding it. Destini smiled even brighter. When was the last time she smiled like that?

  “Who is he?” Russell asked.

  “Huh?” she asked, her smile fading even as the joy of the moment spread through her. It made her feel light on her feet. “Who’s who?”

  “The guy who’s stolen you from me? Is it a teacher? I would think it was that principal at Wellington but—”

  “Why would you think it was Bryce Carson?” Destini bristled.

  “He had crush on you Destini. The man looked like he wanted to kill me every time I dropped you off at work.” Russell chuckled.

  In that moment all the joy drained from her face. She knew he saw it because the light of regret shadowed his face. She looked away. “Let it go,” she said, turning to the railing of the walk

  “Ah! So there is a him? At last, confirmation!” he shouted to the sky.

  Destini chuckled. “Yes, there’s a him.”

  “Lucky guy.”

  She shook her head. “I don’t think so. I wish it was about luck and romance. Lately it’s none of that.”

  “He doesn’t appreciate you?” Russell pressed.

  “He doesn’t know how. Can I ask you something since you’re the new and improved Russell Dumont?”

  “Go ahead.”

  “Men. Why is it hard for you to let go and feel? I mean we women wear our hearts on our sleeves. But you guys, you think suffering in silence is some kind of validation of your manhood.”

  “Not all men. Just the stubborn jackasses do.”

  “Every one I’ve dated has been a stubborn jackass,” she said flatly.

  “I’ll answer your question, and you answer mine.”

  Destini cut him a look. Russell leaned on the rail and stared at her with a smile. “We learn from our fathers, just as you learn from your mothers. Some things we can shake. Some things we can’t. And though we want to be different, though we work hard to be different, some times we are our parents.”

  “That’s a scary thought,” she said with a sad chuckle.

  “My question.”

  “Go ahead.” Destini looked out at the barge. The horn blew as it passed by along the bay.”

  “Women. Why do they choose the man who can’t see and appreciate them, but ignore the man that can?”

  Destini turned her gaze to him. Russell reached out and lightly touched her cheek. “Good guys do finish last, Destini. You know that don’t you?”

  “I—”

  “He doesn’t deserve you if he’s hurt you. If he treats you in anyway like I did he doesn’t deserve you. That’s not what love is about. And you know who taught me that lesson? You.”

  “I didn’t say love.”

  “I know love when I see it in your eyes. And I know heartbreak, too. I’ve broken your heart remember? You got a double dose of both. Come here.”

  She hesitated. But his tenderness was like a magnet’s pull. Before she knew it, she drifted to the comfort of his arms. There was a lot to be said about the new and improved Russell Dumont and none of it was what she and Naiya called him. Her head lifted. He gazed down at her with such longing; his lips drew closer and closer. Destini turned her fa
ce away. “We should head back,” she said avoiding his kiss, and the hurt in his eyes.

  “You sure, we can go for desert.”

  Destini stepped out of his embrace. She extended her hand to him. He took hold of it, and together they walked in silence. Suddenly, she felt the burden weighing down her heart lift. Just a bit. Closure with Russell felt right. She was free of the past now. And she had options for the future. It was the best apology she ever received.

  ***

  It was easy to catch up with them. And even easier to wait on the bastard, though it killed him to do so, knowing he was walking Destini to her room. Bryce paced the hall in front of Russell Dumont’s door imagining her taking him inside. He thought about how her soft lips would brush over another man’s, and her body being groped and touched. He swung and punched the door, causing it to dent and splinter. He ignored the pain. That was easy, too, because nothing compared to the pain centered in his chest. He couldn’t blame her. She had said she loved him, twice, and he had done nothing. What was she supposed to think? But he’d be damned if he’d let that Dumont rat take her from him.

  He heard the chime of the elevator and stopped.

  Russell stepped off the elevator. Bryce watched him stroll down the hall toward him, a satisfied smile playing on his lips dimming as he recognized Bryce. He couldn’t have gotten anything more than a kiss goodnight from her, but it sealed his fate. That kiss would be his last. Slowly Russell’s steps ceased as he looked from the door to the room and to Bryce glowering before it.

  “What are you doing her—”

  Bryce swung and hit him in the jaw. Russell was thrown back in shock. Bryce grabbed him by the collar and threw him into the wall. He started punching Russell in the gut with both fists, pummeling him with blow after blow. When Russell sank, wheezing and gagging, he grabbed him by the throat and threw him back into the wall, his hands closing on his throat. It wasn’t until he saw the confused horror reflected in Russell’s eyes that something clicked within him. He dropped him and stepped back, breathing hard. He kept his anger in control—always. But the thought of losing Destini had sent him into that dark void, where years of loneliness and abuse dwelled.