by JP Summers
“Trenton dumped her,” I answered with an unsettling feeling stirring in my stomach.
“Well, Cruz and I can run her home so she doesn’t have to be here,” Mira immediately offered as a solution to avoid Carson having to leaving me dateless for half an hour.
“I really should be the one to take Erin home. I know she needs someone to talk to about this and I’ve always been the one she feels comfortable opening up to about these things,” he said.
“Just let Mira and Cruz take her home. I highly doubt Erin wants to discuss things if she’s this upset. You have the whole weekend off from work that you can spend cheering her up.”
“Tia, she really needs me right now.”
Mira and Cruz walked away as I fumed, “What’s the big deal? Why do you always feel you need to be the one who has to bend over backwards for Erin?”
“She’s been my friend for a very long time and needs me. Why can’t you ever understand that?” Carson heatedly replied.
I placed my hands on my waist. My body trembled. I was so damn tired of sharing Carson with Erin that I yelled, “What in the hell would it take for me to finally be your number-one priority?”
Distressed at the situation unfolding in front of us, I continued, “I’ve tried to make my friendship with Erin work. Even after your sister explained why you’re so obligated to her. I hate how she finds some way to use you. Aren’t you tired of being taken advantage of? I know I’m sick of seeing you drop everything for someone who is as selfish as she is.”
“Right now, you’re the one being selfish!”
“You’re damn right I am! We’re finally on a date, one I’ve waited so long for, and you are putting Erin’s needs before mine. Please don’t ruin our date by taking off on me. Let Mira and Cruz take her home, then you can check up on her after prom. I’m begging you, please stay...for me.”
“Tia, let’s not argue about this. I’ll only be gone for half an hour.”
I’m not sure where my backbone came from, but it emerged so fast I couldn’t hold myself back from saying, “If you walk out of this gym, our date is over and there won’t be another one.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“Yes, I do! I’m so done with being second in your life.” Carson didn’t even argue with me.
Instead, he kissed me on the cheek. “I’ll be right back. By then, you will have cooled off and we can enjoy the rest of our evening.”
And just like that, my date abandoned me.
I sat at the table with Audrey and Mira, who were trying to make me feel better about Carson putting Erin’s needs ahead of mine once again. I hated how Erin always got Carson’s full attention and I got whatever was left of it. Tears began forming in the corner of my eyes, and I ran out of the gym. I needed fresh air and to be away from all the happy couples.
This was supposed to be the perfect date, but it had turned into a disastrous nightmare.
My heels were killing my feet as I tried to find somewhere to sit and wallow in self-pity. While I sat on the concrete picnic tables on the side of the school, tears flowed freely as I stared at the beautiful wrist corsage Carson had placed on me only hours before. Deep down, I knew he was in love with me, but something held him back from admitting it.
I guessed it was the girl who was with my date at that very moment.
Loud rumbles from the storm rolling in should have alerted me to run back inside, but I chose to watch the lightning show. The bolts shooting across the sky lit up the night and looked magnificent. The colors were brilliant as the clouds completely covered the stars. The smell of the coming rain heightened my senses and I knew I should take cover.
While my attention was focused on the clouds dancing around to Mother Nature’s composition of thunder crashing, a voice from behind me asked, “Tia, what are you doing out here all alone?”
I turned to see a silhouette veer off of the sidewalk and head my way. I wiped away the last of the stray tears as the owner of the voice, Evan, came into view and walked over to me with a bewildered look in his eyes. Shrugging, I honestly responded, “I can’t be inside. It’s too hard to see everyone having a good time when I’m not.”
“Well, you’re too overdressed to waste the night being all alone.”
“That’s the thing. I wasn’t alone. I had a date, but he ditched me to take your sister home. Carson wanted to make sure she got home safely.”
“Oh, I see. Well, I got the text from my dad twenty minutes ago to drop whatever I was doing and pick up Erin. I sent her a text saying I was on my way. She then texted me back and said to meet her in the gym and that was about five minutes ago.”
I stood up from the table, terribly confused. “That’s impossible! Carson and Erin have been gone for half an hour already.”
“If you don’t believe me, I’ll show you,” Evan responded, showing me his cell.
My eyes had to be deceiving me. Carson was supposed to just drop off Erin and be right back. Livid, I dialed Carson’s cell only to have my calls go straight to voicemail. I then sent several texts asking what was keeping him. No reply. Evan said while I was trying to get a hold of Carson that he had tried calling Erin’s cell, which had also gone straight to voicemail.
I couldn’t see straight. I was so furious with Carson for ignoring me. What was worse, Erin wasn’t picking up her phone either, leaving me to think the worst.
Evan placed his hand on my arm. “Let me take you home. You can’t stay out here the rest of the night, and you’re way too upset to go back inside.”
I tearfully nodded as Evan draped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me next to him. We walked to the front of the school where he parked his car. I sent a text to Mira and Audrey saying I decided to leave and that we’d talk sometime the next day.
I took a second to rethink getting into Evan’s car. Maybe there was a good reason Carson didn’t come back and why he hadn’t answered my texts or calls. There could still be time to salvage whatever was left of the night. I wasn’t sure if I could forgive my best friend for taking off during our date and look past the fact that he didn’t care as much about my feelings as he did about Erin’s.
The answer became painfully clear.
Without giving it another thought as to why I shouldn’t leave with Evan, I jumped into the car with him. The drive to my place didn’t feel as unpleasant as I thought it would. After the fiasco at Mira’s Halloween party, I should have been pissed off at him. Instead, I was thankful he came to my rescue.
When we pulled into my driveway, I should have told Evan thank you for the ride and gone inside, but I didn’t. Instead, I allowed him to follow me in and accepted his gentle embrace.
He leaned into my ear as I switched on the light to the living room and whispered, “Everything will be fine.”
“I really want to believe that, Evan, but your sister continues to have some kind of hold on Carson. His actions prove he’s still in love with Erin. Why else would he need to make sure she gets home okay?”
Evan and I sat on the sofa while the lightning flashed and rain wildly tapped against the windows. The tears I had kept pent up trailed down my flushed cheeks as I admitted, “Well…I did the same for you. I didn’t want to see you be embarrassed about going back into prom dateless or with tears in your eyes.”
“I appreciate what you did Evan, but it doesn’t change the fact I ended up being abandoned by my date so that he could take care of his ex-girlfriend. Maybe it’s time for me to face the facts. Carson and I will never work as anything other than friends.”
An overwhelming warmth generated off of Evan’s hand as he gently touched my face and removed a few stray tears. “You don’t have to repeatedly beat yourself up over Carson. You deserve someone who will see how unbelievably amazing you are, both inside and out.”
I was at a loss for words. Evan could be a real asshole sometimes, but at times he also had a way of charming me into forgetting every one of his faults.
The lights flickered whi
le an unbelievable roaring erupted from the thunder striking all around the house. It wasn’t until the windows began rattling that I became aware of just how brutal the weather conditions brewing outside were. Winds continued to pick up as the sounds of hail hitting the windows startled me. I was almost certain the windows would break as the loud pounding on the roof mixed with the rippling sounds of lightning crashed all around us.
Just as the electricity went out, the deafening noise of a siren alerted us to take cover. The last time I had heard them go off we’d had a twister land five miles outside of the city limits. My heart raced at the very thought of a tornado being in the vicinity of my home.
Evan and I slipped into the sanctuary of the nearest closet. It was too dark to see my own hands or how close I was actually standing to him. His fingers gripping my waist terrified me more than the dangerous storm lurking outside.
He inhaled deeply before gently nuzzling his cheek against my trembling face. My head instinctively descended upon Evan’s chest as his hands caressed the small of my back. I knew this may not have been the person I had envisioned spending my evening with, but Evan was here, and I was a naive girl who was craving attention.
The loud crashes coming from above us must have been the heavens opening up as if the sky was weeping for a love that seemed doomed before it could even begin.
It shouldn’t have been like this. My heart had finally found a home in Carson’s arms, but what was I doing in Evan’s? I knew this was a vicious cycle I could never seem to get myself out of. Trust me. I have tried.
Evan leaned his head toward mine as our lips captured one another’s. My arms snaked around his neck as he pressed me against the wall, causing me to gasp. My body sank into his, deepening our kiss. The taste of desperation settled on my tongue as I got caught up in the warmth of Evan’s mouth as it dominated mine. Confusion set in. I needed to push him away, yet I couldn’t physically force myself to do so.
I craved the attention. I wanted to feel a sense of completeness. I needed every part of me to come alive so that I could forget about how bad I was hurting.
One moment of weakness could be the death warrant on my impending relationship status with Carson. The lustful trance Evan’s indulgent kisses put me under suddenly unraveled, allowing me to see the harmful reality I was creating for myself. The weight of my guilt forced me to push Evan away from my reckless body. “We can’t do this! I can’t do this!”
“Tia, I still love you and I know deep down you are still in love with me.”
“Evan, I’m in love with Carson.”
“Then why did you kiss me?”
“I was vulnerable and confused about why Carson can’t put me ahead of Erin’s needs.”
“Being in love with someone shouldn’t scare or confuse you, Tia. If you really love Carson, things would have never gotten this far.”
I forced open the closet door, checking for signs the previous weather conditions had dissipated. The sirens silenced. The violent winds finally dulled down to a light gust. I walked toward the front door, opening it and telling him, “Evan, you need to go now.”
He stood in the doorway for a few seconds, then walked into the light rain. The thunder rumbled from a safe distance away. The storm had passed. The only trace that it had even existed was the tree limbs and branches scattered over our lawn and standing water on our driveway.
Evan was almost to his overly expensive sports car when he turned to me and yelled, “You may not want to hear this, but Carson isn’t right for you. He’ll never be able to love you the way he loves Erin. I know that I’m still in love with you and you were the best thing to ever happen to me. I was just so fucking stupid to see it back then. If you give me another chance, I’ll never hurt you again.”
I shook my head with tears trailing down my face. “I’m sorry for leading you on, Evan, but I just don’t feel the same way about you as you do about me.”
I was disgusted with my unthinkable actions. The bile rising into my throat tasted like deceit. I couldn’t believe I kissed Evan. In a way, I felt like I defiled what Carson and I had because I knew how much he despised the one person I just couldn’t seem to keep myself away from.
I sat in the recliner bawling my eyes out until 2 a.m. rolled around. My mom rushed through the front door, frantic. She had been at a concert with her boyfriend, which went into lockdown after the power went out and the sirens went off.
She pulled me into her arms the moment I cried out, “Carson and I got into a HUGE argument at prom!”
Kissing the top of my forehead, my mom curiously questioned, “I don’t understand how that could even happen. The two of you looked so happy together. I have millions of pictures to prove it.”
I plummeted my face into my mom’s shoulder. “Carson’s ex-girlfriend Erin was upset from her boyfriend dumping her. So wouldn’t you know he had to go run over to her rescue and that’s how I ended up dateless at prom.”
“Sweetie. He ditched you?”
“Pretty much. I mean, Carson was supposed to be back after he dropped off Erin at her house, but he never showed. Which is why I got a ride home from Evan.”
“Wait… what?”
“Evan’s dad sent him to pick up Erin, but Carson had already left with her. Evan happened to see me crying outside and offered to bring me here.”
“Well, that was nice of Evan to do that. I’m sorry you were home all alone during this terrible storm.”
“Actually… I wasn’t alone. Evan stayed here with me.”
“Tia, are you crying because something else happened tonight? You didn’t… with Evan… did you?”
“I didn’t have sex with him, but we did kiss. And I feel just terrible about it.”
“Tia, I know you are head-over-heels in love with Carson. Hell, I can see that he feels the same about you. I think deep down, you know why you kissed Evan.”
I unburied my face from my mom’s shirt. “I was upset over everything and it was so stupid to allow Evan to even kiss me when I am in love with Carson. What do I do now?”
My mom smiled while removing the hair from my eyes. “Be up front and honest with Carson about the way you felt rejected by him and what went on with Evan.”
I know my mom was only trying to help me see the errors of my ways, but our heart-to-heart conversation just made me realize that I had royally screwed up when it came to navigating my love life.
I found my cell and made an attempt to get in touch Carson, but it still went straight to his voicemail. A million thoughts as to why I couldn’t get hold of him came to my frazzled mind, including wondering about him and Erin, but the one I just couldn’t rid myself of was worrying if he had been in an accident because of the storm.
Frustration settled within me in place of worry. I couldn’t sit around waiting to see if Carson would come to talk to me first. I didn’t know when or if he would come over to see me. I deserved to know if I would ever be his first priority and to find out what happened the night before.
The rain finally subsided, so I grabbed the keys to my car and headed over to Carson’s house. When I pulled up to his driveway, his truck wasn’t even there. I tried texting him, but never got a response back. I couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t even check up on me after I left close to twenty text messages and ten voicemails. I didn’t want to wake his parents or Julisa to worry them, so I left and went back home.
I heard the sound of Carson’s truck before he even pulled in my driveway. I went outside to see him. He had his hands on the steering wheel as I slowly approached him. I knocked on the window. “Can I get in?” I asked. He reached across the passenger seat and unlocked the door.
When I slipped inside, he wouldn’t even look at me. His grip on the steering wheel got even tighter as I gently touched his wrist. I felt his pulse racing as my fingers massaged his hand trying to comfort him. The tension surrounding us was so thick not even an axe could have cut through it.
Carson stared out the window, bi
tterly gritting his teeth. “Why in the hell did you leave the prom with Evan?”
My jaw practically fell to the floor mats of his truck. Stunned as to how he found out, I coolly inquired, “How did you know about that?”
“It’s funny you should ask that. Remember how I said I would be back? Well, I did come back, and there you were walking off with Evan with his arm around you.”
“Why didn’t you call out to me so that I knew you came back?”
“Maybe because you looked too cozy with Evan and I didn’t want to interrupt you two from running off together.”
“Evan was only at the school because his dad told him to pick up Erin. I tried calling and texting you, but I never heard back from you.”
“For starters, I dropped off Erin and was on my way back to the school when I unexpectedly got a flat tire. Once I changed the tire, I arrived in the parking lot to see you leaving with Evan. I was so pissed that I went back to check on Erin.” Carson finally let go of the steering wheel, then turned to look at me with hurt in his eyes while continuing. “And about not answering your missed calls or texts, I accidently dropped my cell at the gas station where I had filled up the truck before we went to dinner. The manager found it early this morning and called my dad’s number to tell him he had my phone.”
“I’m sorry about the flat tire. I wish you would have tried to get hold of me because I was worried about what happened to you.”
“No… you were worried about what I was doing because I took so long.”
“Of course I was. When my date tells me he’ll be back soon and doesn’t show up after a while, my mind kind of wonders what was keeping him. What really pisses me off is that little miss-not-so-innocent sent a text telling Evan to meet her in the gym after you had already agreed to take her home.”
“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. I think Evan is feeding you lies.”
“I saw the damn text on Evan’s cell from her, Carson. Erin played you once again and you are too damn blind to even see it. This time she went too far by coming between us.”
